Live and Regret

I don't own Artemis Fowl.

"Do you think arguing is bad for our health?"

He smirked. "No, it's rather good for our health. What good is life if you can't yell and let your emotions be free? It's better than bottling it up. And it's good because you and I don't stay mad at each other."

"Yeah, I suppose."

His smirk turned down.

"We don't stay mad at each other, correct?"

She didn't answer. She kept playing with the corner of the page in the book she had been reading on the couch. He had been sitting beside her feet. He made to stand up, but her foot pushed him back down.

"Correct." She whispered.

But he knew better. He knew that tone. As he stood up, she didn't protest. He sat next to her, and asked again.

"Holly, we don't stay mad at each other, right?"

She looked up at him. "How am I supposed to answer that, Artemis?"
He was speechless. She turned away from him and continued. "It can't be healthy. It just can't…"

"Holly, are you upset with me?"
She didn't turn around.
"Holly," he put a hand on her shoulder, but she still didn't turn.
He knew that he shouldn't surprise her, she was the officer, and he was the civilian. She would flip him, or do some confusing LEP karate thing. But he couldn't get anywhere with this conversation if he didn't make eye contact.

He took hold of her chin, and gently rotated it to face him. But she still refused; she had closed her eyes. He sighed, but not in defeat yet. He still had one more trick up his sleeves.

He leaned forward, and kissed her forehead.

That shot her eyes open on the spot. She didn't pull away though. Instead he did.

"Holly," she nodded. "Are you mad at me?"
She closed her eyes, considering it. Then, slowly she shook her head, eyes still closed. "Are you going to talk to me?" he smiled.

She gave a snort, and then smiled as well. "I'm thinking about it."

"Are you going to open your eyes?"

She smirked. "Are you going to answer my question?" She didn't even have to open her eyes to picture the confused look on his face.

"I thought I-"

"Truthfully Mud boy."

"I truthfully think that it is, unless it results in one of the two parties being upset. Which brings us back to my question, are you mad at me?"

She sighed deeply this time. "Only partially."

"How can you be partially mad at me?"

"Because I said I was, Fowl."

"Okay." He leaned back on the couch, and grabbed his book. Giving the illusion of being defeated, but he wasn't, not if he could do anything about it.

Holly glared at him. "It's okay? You think it's okay? It's not okay Artemis! I'm mad at you! Doesn't that make you want to apologize or know what you did or something?!"

Artemis didn't look up from his novel. "You wouldn't talk before, so why should I ask questions that aren't going to be answered?" His face was emotionless. He was nothing but calm and cold. He hadn't talked that way to Holly in years.

Holly sat there, staring daggers at the back of his head. She stood up and slammed the book into the coffee table. Then she walked to the door, but she stopped and turned around, feeling the need to make one last comment, before she let herself do a very rare thing: cry.

"Well, I guess this answers your question." She paused as he looked up into her tear filled eyes. "We do stay mad at each other."

Then she ran. She didn't know where to, but somewhere. Anywhere. She needed to feel the wind in her hair. She ran past Butler. She ran past a large window, and paused. She saw that it was raining. The she ran down the grand stairway and opened the nearest door.

Artemis was, needless to say, shocked. Holly had been close to tears when she had turned back to him. She was never close to tears. She never cried; at least not in front of him. This was bad.

Butler came quickly through the door. "Holly, she was…running. And she, I don't know where, she-she-"
The body guard was panting. He must have run from where he saw Holly, Artemis thought.

"It's alright, old friend, I'll go find her. You should probably have a glass of water or something. I'll go get that-"

Butler interrupted. "No, no Artemis that won't be necessary. You go find Holly, I'll calm myself."

Artemis nodded, and then ran to the camera room. He was certainly not going to run around looking for her, while he could stay in one place and find her significantly faster. He scanned the screens.

There; beside the oak tree in the side yard. Artemis sighed deeply and massaged his temples before he quickly ran to the west wing. Only Holly would go and sit next to the tallest tree in the grounds, in the midst of an angry thunder storm.

Holly sat there, beside the most comforting tree she could find. She wasn't sitting under it though. She had seated herself just out of the protection the branches offered, so she was dripping wet and her tears could not be seen.

She knew exactly why she had started crying in the first place. It was no mystery. It's always easier to bawl when you don't have to add confusion to the taste of salty tears in your mouth. Artemis had lied to her. It was that simple. And even though she had said she had forgiven him, they both knew that it was something that would change their friendship forever. One split decision was all it took though. Artemis knew that. Holly knew that. It had proven so many times on their adventures. But for some reason, Artemis had felt the need to lie to her. I would've helped anyways. Even if it was against orders, she thought. Then she let slip a smirk. She broke the rules so much. Too much. But if there was a life on the line, then the words of her superiors disintegrated in her head, and she did what felt right. Usually what felt right started out messy and progressively got worse. But she was a big girl. She knew how to take care of herself. And if she put her life in danger, it wasn't because she wasn't thinking, but because she was. It was a trait that helped her get into the LEP. Being able to stay calm in life threatening situations was something that she had always been good at. But there was a certain point at which everyone cracked. Hers just happened to be when someone she cared about got them self in a life threatening situation. Artemis being Artemis also obtained the quality of staying calm during these situations. However, like Holly, when someone he cared about got themselves into the same situation, he would uncharacteristically panic. When Holly and Artemis paired together, and they both put their lives in danger for the other, usually they both ended up panicking. Artemis didn't panic verbally though. He kept it to himself, thus earning him the reputation of the still cold, unchanged genius to people that didn't know him. To people that did know him, however, they could see through the act, and get glimpses of him actually caring.

Holly sighed. The tears were still coming strong. She had no idea that she would ever produce this much water over a stupid mud boy. He lied to her. He had been deceiving to her. He had been cold to her. But she had thought that had changed. When he lied to her and deceived her, she had gone over the top. But when he had been cold to her in his study where they had been peacefully sitting, reading, enjoying each other's company not half an hour ago, she was reminded of the twelve year old that had been horrendous towards her and her People. And it hurt her. She had thought he had changed. But he hadn't. He hadn't even come after her. He didn't care. She was just some part of his master plan that he would reveal once the earth was at his feet. Years of what she had thought of as friendship, were flushed down the toilet. When she thought this, the tears only came more, and her breathing started to hitch. She was having a meltdown over a mud boy.

Speak of the devil, she thought as she could see the outline of a certain genius running towards her. She just cried harder. He had done this to her. Because of him, she had gone soft. Because of him, she would never know what to think when someone talked to her; if they were secretly judging or using her, or if they truly meant what they said.

Artemis reached Holly, panting.

"What the hell are you doing?"

That was unexpected. Holly gave him a look of pure innocence, before returning to her hitched breathing, and swollen eyes. She didn't want to waste a breath on this mud boy. Not anymore.

"Holly." He spoke softly, barely audible over the sound of thunder and the rain. He sunk down to his knees in front of her. She had her head buried in her arms, her knees up defensively, as if he was about to hit her.

"Holly." He repeated. She lifted her head, but still refused to even glance at him. "Holly, look at me."

She wouldn't. She shouldn't. She couldn't. But when she felt his hand gently guide her chin so that her body was facing him, she didn't resist. She didn't open her eyes. It seemed like it was becoming a habit.

He sighed and leaned in to kiss her forehead. He couldn't find her though. She had shielded. He carefully reached out an arm, and made contact with one of her arms. He frowned. She was shivering, and cold as ice. He decided that he didn't care if she flipped him. She was freezing, and he was just sitting there in his coat. He started to take it off so he could wrap it around her. He froze when she spoke.

"Don't. I'm fine."

Her voice sounded edgy, sore and hurt. She made him feel overwhelmed with guilt just with three simple syllables. He put his coat back on. He would listen to her, but he would not let her freeze. So, instead of calling for Butler to bring a coat, or leaving her out to suffer by herself like he would have before, he wrapped his arms around her invisible figure, and held her tightly.

Holly huffed when he started hugging her. She wanted so desperately to let go, but he was warming her completely. She decided that once she had regained the feeling in her hands, she would set him straight. For then, she just leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Are your eyes still closed?" he asked. But she still refused to answer. "How about, you tighten your grip on my arm if it's a yes, and leave it if it's a no."

He felt his arm being pinched quite painfully. "I said tighten, not pinch. That really hurt."

Holly leaned up to his ear. She chose her words carefully. "Now you know what it feels like." She whispered.

He frowned. This was getting ridiculous. "Still?"

He felt his arm tighten. She wouldn't hurt him again like that. He knew how it felt; she wouldn't do it more than once. She wouldn't make him relive his pain, even if that was what he was doing to her.

"Can you please unshield? I find it hard to talk to you when I can't see you."

"I can't see you." She pointed out.

He sighed. "Yes, but you have a choice in that matter."

She unshielded as she spoke, but her eyes remained closed. "You never gave me a choice. You never gave me a chance to make a choice."

"And I'm trying to apologize for that. Why won't you listen?"

She sighed this time. "Because, because I-" she opened her eyes. "…because I have a choice in that matter."

Her crying had started to decease, her breathing had returned to normal, and she was finally warm. She made to stand up, but Artemis kept his hold on her.

"Holly, I've tried to give you on option. You have to understand that it's hard for me-dealing with emotions like this, apologizing. It's all new to me. Give me a second chance."

She looked straight into his eyes, disgust playing on her face. "Even if I wanted to Mister Fowl, I couldn't. This wouldn't be a second chance. It would be a twenty seventh. You really don't get it do you? I'm not a simple person, Mister Fowl. I don't just go around handing out my trust. When you're a police officer, you learn better than that. But I gave my trust to you Fowl. I gave it to the least deserving person on and under the planet, because I thought you had changed. I've known Trouble Kelp for longer than you've been born, and I still don't trust him completely. You're one of the lucky ones Fowl. There are only four people in this world that I would trust with my life: Foaly, Butler, Mulch, and you. But now there's only three. It's amazing really, I put my faith in someone who used to annoy the hell out of me, someone who shot me before we could properly be introduced, someone who broke the law and lied to me, and someone who kidnapped, lied, broke the law, and did anything in his power to get what he wanted. Do you know why?" She paused, Artemis, who was looking at the grass in shame, shook his head. "Because my parents told me that people could change. And I believed them. Turns out that three out of four can make a hell of a difference."

She stood up, and this time Artemis didn't stop her. He wanted to, but he knew that nothing he could do would make it up to her; he at least had to let her make a choice to walk away. As she started to fade out of his vision, he spoke once more.

"I don't regret it."

She turned back to him. "Excuse me?"

He stood up, walking over to her. "I don't regret it." He repeated.

"Why?" she looked completely confused. "Why don't you regret putting me through everything you have? How can any living thing, not regret the low things you've done?"

Artemis spoke fast. "Because if I hadn't kidnapped you I never would've met you. If I didn't do all those low things then we never would've became friends. And if I hadn't lied to you, then you wouldn't have…" he paused taking a breath; he was going on shaky ground here. "…kissed me. And if you hadn't kissed me, I would've never come to a conclusion that, I-I" he mentally wacked himself for stuttering, but he couldn't finish the sentence.

Holly looked curious. Her eyes narrowed. "You what?"

Artemis looked away from her. "Never mind; it doesn't matter. What matters is that I don't regret it. And now you know that. I may regret the way I did it, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. There's an affect for every action, and I appreciate the affect that my actions caused. I-I couldn't do without you, Holly." He forgot to curse himself for stuttering, and instead just walked away, before he did though, he wrapped his coat around the confused Holly. She looked like she was frozen in place, and he was going inside anyway.

Holly watched him walk away. So he regretted it, but he didn't. She wasn't sure whether to be flattered or insulted. Over her head, lightning cracked. The storm was getting closer to the manor.

She shook her head. She decided to take it as an insult. She shielded and ran back to Artemis' study, gathering her belongings and leaving his coat. She walked out onto the balcony, and looked back, before flying away. If the People needed to ever contact the infamous Artemis Fowl the second ever again, they could send someone else. Never again, she told herself.

As Artemis made his way back to his study, he found his coat on his desk, with a note attached to it. He frowned as he read it. Then sighed. Maybe it was time to go back into the underground sales. He could use some uplifting gold…

He crumpled the paper and threw it aside. He called for Butler to get the Bentley. There was a criminal genius, about to make a comeback.

Had anyone walked into Artemis Fowl the second's study at that moment, they would've seen an outraged Irish teenager, looking as though his heart had been broken and a note crumpled; the last words of a one-time friend.

Artemis,

You may not regret it. But I do

-A Lost Companion.

Sorry if they're OOC. I tried. This is version one. There's an alternate ending starting at the last break up there. Chapter 2. Reviews?