He wanted me to deliver a letter. But it wasn't just any letter, it was to her. Blasted, bloody damned Cosette! And I willingly accepted. Who is the fool? Why, I believe that would be me. Anyway, he gave me the letter and hurried me off. It was unsealed, and he knew I could read. Was it an invitation to read it? I think so.
It was beautiful. Utterly beautiful. A short poem, speaking of undying desire, love, devotion and pain. Poignant and oh so Marius. "Ugh!" I groaned, and scurried down the barricade. I managed to make it unharmed. I saw a man who fit the description of Cosette's father. Damn her! "Excuse me, monsieur? I have a letter from a boy at the barricade in the Rue de Plumet. It's for your daughter." He turned to me with shock in his eyes. Guess he thought he was alone.
"Here, give me that letter, my boy." he replied. He had a caring voice and seemed terribly familiar. He reached for the letter. I inwardly sighed. If only it wasn't so easy for me to appear a boy! Hungry years on the streets stole away my chances at curves, and dirt hid my girly facial features.
"He said to give it to Cosette." I suspiciously answered. Miracle of miracles, I even managed to say her name without cursing.
"You have my word that Cosette shall read this." he said, then reached into his pocket and took out a few coins. "Here's for your pains."
"Thank you." I murmured, and immediately pocketed the money.
"Be careful now, and hide yourself away. There's danger on the streets tonight." the man said, and I bid him a goodnight and walked away. I took his warning to mind, but continued to walk. I've always loved being on the streets at night, and now they were empty. It was a particularly clear night. My hands deep in my ragged pockets, I turned the change around in my hands and thoughtfully stopped at the front of the Seine river. I realized I was about to talk to myself, but I suddenly felt the need to fill the silence.
"On my own, I can pretend he's beside me." I smiled to an invisible Marius, then rolled my eyes at my Cosette-ish behavior. But my game was fun, and I wanted to play it still. "Let's walk till morning!" I whispered to my imaginary friend. I pretended his arms were around me, that he lead me along the rushing Seine. "Look Marius, the lights are misty in the river! And in this darkness, the tree's are full of starlight!" I gestured to the dead trees. They somehow looked magical, the stars finding the empty branches and shining through. I twirled around, stupid and for a fleeting moment, happy. Then my realistic mind kicked in, and I hissed, "Look at me, talking to myself! Pretending he's near me." I kicked a stone with my bare foot, then cursed when it turned out to be a heavy rock that scuffed my toe.
"Why do I love him so much? Even pretending, I know he's not mine. The river's only pretty when he's with me! Without him, the world around me changes! The trees are bare, the river's cloudy and everyone's a stranger! He's love struck over her but he doesn't have to pretend she loves him! Without me, he'll go on living happily!" I picked up the stupid rock, which had a bit of blood on it from my wounded foot, and forcefully threw it into the river. "This world is full of happiness that I've never known!"
At that point, I was screaming my bloody head off. It was a good thing the streets were empty, or else I would have had people throwing things at me by that point. Yelling like that actually made me feel much better. I sank down on the dirty stones near the shore of the river, my chest heaving like I had run a race. I was crying, I hadn't even realized it. "I love him. That's all I know." I whispered to myself. "I love him." With shaking knees, I stood and smoothed my ratty breeches.
"You want a boy to be your lover, young lad?" A polished, yet still rough voice asked. I jumped about three feet in the air.
"Who in hell are you?" I gasped. An aging gentleman in a long fur coat appraised me. I immediately stiffened and took on a fighting stance.
"Why, you're a girl!" he said, obviously surprised and pleased. It was my turn to be shocked, he had seen right through my disguise! "A love sick girl of the street, perhaps?"
I defiantly threw my holey cap off and tossed my long brown hair. Even tangled and ratty, it was still shiny. My hair and eyes were probably the only feminine things about me. "I'm not a whore!" I answered, offended. "More like thief, monsieur." He offered a pleased chuckle. I was furious, my biggest moment of insecurity had been viewed by a mocking gentlemen! Bastard!
"Dear mademoiselle, I heard your cries." he murmured. He had called me mademoiselle! That was the first time in my life. "My name is Alexandre Chevalier. I'd console you, but I fear I've lost my hat in the Seine. I'm wearing my favorite coat, so could you perhaps retrieve my hat?" I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't want to sully his pretty coat. At least he wouldn't bother me again. I rolled up the legs of my trousers without looking back to see his scandalized expression. Exposed calves in public! Gasp! His fine cap was floating, anchored on a rock to stop it from flowing with the current. I plucked it out, tossed it to him, then rolled my pants back down. It was a cold night. Alexandre smiled. "You've done perfectly. Mademoiselle, I wish to help you."
"I don't understand." I answered, tucking my pants back into my ragged boots. "What do you mean?"
"You love a young man whose infatuated with another! With a bit of warmth, food and money you would sweep him off his feet! I can help." He eagerly smoothed his hair back, then plopped his hat on his head. He was blond and delicate looking, despite being very tall. Other girls would probably find him to be handsome, I didn't. I narrowed my eyes at him. His voice was very raspy.
"Are you mocking me again, monsieur?" I whispered. I'm not the most polite of creatures, but he was being downright rude for a gentlemen.
"I suppose I didn't make myself clear. Please, let's get off the streets. It's not a safe night to be out, and I have much to explain to you."
"No! You might rape me!" I laughed. What sort of stupid girl did he think I was? He frowned, realizing my claim was very true.
"Let us go to a public place then. Please listen to me." Alexandre seemed very earnest. I warily nodded my head and followed him to an nearly empty tavern. Even the owner seemed preoccupied, he frequently glanced about the windows nervously. "What's your name?" he asked once we were seated and drinking warm ale. He, of course, wrinkled his little white nose delicately at the bitter taste of the drink. I was just glad he was paying for our meal.
"Eponìne." I replied after a long chug. He thoughtfully nodded. Our food was placed on the table, and I hastily began to eat. Alexandre only watched me.
"Who is your young man?"
"Marius Pontmercy. He's a student. And he's not my young man!" I managed to cut my eyes at him above my quickly disappearing food.
"Ah, he's a revolutionist." Alexandre murmured.
"So?"
"Nothing, just pondering. Eponìne, as I've said earlier, I want to help you. Not just by getting you your man, but with your life." He shuddered, then took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm dying. I've got no family, all of my "friends" disgust me. I've got a vast fortune, and lately I've been harassed by those who wish to be in my will. Perhaps it was the wrong night to choose, but I've been watching and asking for help with my hat all night. You were the only one to bother to help, and besides that, your story has touched my gentle heart. I'll give you all of my fortune."
"What?" I coughed up half of the ale in my mouth. Alexandre continued to look upon me benevolently. It sounded too good to be true. Way too good.
"Don't you believe me?" he sounded hurt.
"Alexandre, I've lived a tough life. I don't believe things I hear too easily. I believe what I see."
He took out a gold pocket watch that had an elegant horse head carved on the front and slid it on the rough wooden table to me. "It's yours, now. And here-" he withdrew a stack of coins from his pocket, "Take these too, as proof."
"Oh lord!" I gasped and ran my hands over the money. "Thank you, oh thank you!" I lept up from my chair and threw my arms around his neck. He stiffened.
"Please, be careful around my neck. It's my throat that's killing me, an infection. If I were young, I could fight it. Alas, I'm not and various doctors have guaranteed my upcoming death." I saw that his throat was indeed rather large and swollen. I had simply assumed him to have a fat neck. "It will continue swelling until I'm suffocated by my own body. A slow and treacherously painful death. I don't intend to die that way, no, my death will be quick! I just had to find an heir, and that's you! Here, take my key!" He thrust a delicate key into my grubby hand. "My house is on the Rue de Forestis, number 13. It's a yellow brick mansion and with wide gardens. My servants all know of my plan, they'll be expecting you."
"What?" I gasped, my fingers running over the smooth key. Did he intend to give the entirety of his estate to me, an unknown ruffian? "I don't understand."
"Everything will be yours. Use the money to seduce M. Pontmercy, use it to build a happier life. You are young, Eponìne, and I'm giving you a chance to live!"
I could see that he fancied himself to be a sort of heroic martyr. And he was! I didn't know if there was truly a yellow brick mansion waiting for me, but I hugged him again, just around his waist. He hugged me in return. "Thank you, Alexandre. Thank you! You'll be well met in heaven! Thank you so much!" I was practically crying. I looked up to see him calmly smiling. "I'll live the best life!"
"Just get your man," he laughed. "Now go, I can feel my throat tightening even now. Remember – 13 Rue de Forestis. Take care, young Eponìne. Keep my soul in your prayers. Tell my servants that I've given you the key. They'll accept you as the mistress of the house." He rose from the table.
"You'll be the only one in my prayers! Thank you, Alexandre!" Then we parted ways. I immediately began to sneak through the streets. Did such a house really exist, waiting for me? I allowed one dark thought to penetrate my mind – Alexandre would be committing suicide tonight. At least he would have a swift death. As promised, I uttered a quick and sincere prayer. At last, I found his street! And there it was, a monstrous yellow brick house smugly sitting behind a gated garden. I hopped the fence, not even bothering to unlock the garden gate. With shaking fingers, I slid the key into the massive door and turned it. Good God! It worked. So he had told the truth. "Good bless your soul, wherever it may rest, Alexandre Chevalier." I murmured. I would claim my new home later! I had more important news – I had to tell my beloved. The luxury of money was so new that it didn't even occur to me to change into a gown and bathe.
After a long walk through the deserted town, the barricade soon came into sight. I nearly ran to it when a deafening noise roared. I suddenly felt a burning pain. "Son of a bitch!" I panted, and immediately rolled into a dark, protected corner. Pulling my tattered jacket aside, I saw that I had been shot. I stared at my wound numbly. I couldn't believe it. Warm blood began to seep into my jacket. "Wonderful!" I groaned, then remembered my new money. I could buy a new jacket, one that was meant for girls! But I couldn't if I died. Ignoring the pain, I lifted my soaked undershirt away from the wound to look down at it. By God, the bullet had only skimmed my side! No bullet was nestled in my body, I was going to live. I had heard my father's friends talk of such wounds, so I knew they only caused lots of pain, but would do no lasting damage. I sat for a moment, and pondered my situation. Suddenly a brilliant idea came into my head, and I stood from the dark corner. I limped into a safe portion and began to climb the barricade. I held back all my whimpers of pain, then nearly fell at Marius' feet.
"Good God, what are you doing? 'Ponine, haven't you any fear? His vivid blue eyes were angry. Then his expression softened, and he murmured, "Have you seen my beloved?" Then he was angry again. "Why did you come back here! I told you it's dangerous!"
I pressed a hand into my side. My head was getting dizzy, I was losing too much blood. "I took the letter, her father's was out in the street. She'll read it soon, he promised..." I began to sway. Cursed guns and their bullets. "Don't think I can stand anymore!" I panted.
"Eponìne? What's wrong?" I began to fall, but he caught me. His arms felt strong and safe and he smelled so intoxicating, so Marius. He felt the blood seep through my hand. "You've been shot - you need some help! Oh God...it's...it's everywhere." His voice shook. Gently, Marius lowered us until I was laying in his lap, my face near his, his jacket covering my body. It was time to put the plan into action...though I felt so faint. Damn my weak body.
"Don't fret you for me, Marius. I can't feel any pain." So I was lying like a big dog. Oh well. A cold, soft rain began to fall. It was just as well, my side felt like it was burning and my skin was already hot from being so close to him. I weakly brought up a dirty hand and felt the rain wash the blood off my fingers. "A little fall of rain won't hurt me now," I whispered. I turned my head back to him a little and smiled. "You're here, that's all I need to know. You'll keep me safe..." I turned my face up to the rain. It felt like a caress. "Besides, rain will make the flowers grow." Then Marius shuddered, and continued to shudder behind me. Was he having some sort of attack? Then I felt hot, heavy droplets slowly fall against my head. The rain was definitely cold, so that couldn't be it. He was crying! Crying for me!
"You will live, 'Ponine. Dear God, if I could only heal your wounds with words of love." he managed to whisper. I stroked his hand, which rested over my heart. It was almost hard to speak, and my side still hurt like nothing else.
"Just hold me now, let it be." I was quite content to just lay in his arms. This was working out better then I had imagined.
"You'd live a hundred years, if I could show you how!" He continued to weep over me. Oh Marius, if it was possible, I love you even more then ever. My thoughts were basically running in that direction.
"Just think, the skies will soon clear and I'll be able to rest." He made a shushing sound.
"Eponìne, don't talk like that." he murmured, his voice nearly cracking.
But I had to. Quietly, I whispered, "A breath away from where you are...it's like the home I've only dreamed of." He tenderly smoothed my wet hair back from my face. Poor Marius. "I don't feel any pain," I repeated. He nodded, humoring me. I knew that he thought I was as good as dead. It was the only reason he was touching me so gently and lovingly.
"Hush-a-bye, dear Eponìne." At that point, I nearly did die. He was softly singing a lullaby! God, what a beautiful voice he had. "You won't feel any pain...I'm here."
"That's all I need to know," I gasped. His nearness and my wound were really making it hard to speak. "Stay," I panted.
"I'll be with you till you are sleeping," he shakily crooned. His tears still fell against my hair, soft and warm. They weren't coming like they had been. I imagined they were being wiped away by the cold rain that fell over us. His shaking chest began to calm, and he tried to cover more of my body from the rain.
"It's alright...Rain will make the flowers-" my voice caught in my throat. I literally couldn't speak. It was a very weird sensation. Then I realized that would be a perfect time to die. Slowly, I closed my eyes. It wasn't very hard, my stupid side had lost so much blood that I already felt very weak. I laid still. Marius froze. He thought I died. In a quiet, nearly reverent whisper, he murmured, "-grow."
He had finished my phrase! Dear God I loved him so much. He softly kissed my forehead, then my cheeks. It was difficult for me not to jump out of my skin. His friends came over and comforted him. Marius remained on the ground, holding my body close. All of his friends said pretty things, and they vowed to fight for me. I was reminded that the danger of the barricades was very real, and most wouldn't be lucky enough to only be clipped by a bullet. Marius and his friends then picked me up and carried me off. It was the most painful experience of my life. Since I was "dead" they didn't have to bother with being gentle.
They laid me on a table in a pitch black room. Marius remained a bit longer then the rest, but then he finally left. I tried to get up, but my arms went out. Then I blacked out.
"Damn it all to hell," I gasped when I came to. I was still in a very dark room, and my side hurt something fierce. I realized I needed to bind it else I actually could die. Marius' jacket had been draped over my face. That was way too special to tear, so I ripped my own tattered jacket and quickly tied it around my waists, around the wound on my side. Tying that piece of cloth felt like ripping my body in half. Then I put Marius' jacket on and felt along the walls for a door. Thank God, it wasn't locked. Trying to remain silent, I managed to slip by Combeferre, who was supposed to be the guard. Limping along, I made my way through the streets. I stuck to abandoned alley ways and back gardens. There were a few other barricades set up around Paris, but they were much smaller then Marius'. Finally, I reached my new home.
"Ah, number 13 Rue de Forestis," I croaked. I unlocked the door and stumbled in. "Hello?" I whispered. It was dark, though I could see the silhouettes of fine furniture and art.
"Whose there?" an man barked. I quickly smoothed down Marius' coat then replied, "Monsieur Chevalier gave me his key." The man humphed, then lit a candle near my face.
"A ruffian?" he spat. He was dressed in a plain black outfit, I suppose he was a butler or such. "Show me the key."
I frowned at him, then defiantly tossed my key in the air and caught it. His scowl grew. "Alright, mademoiselle. I'll inform the others. My name's Boise, I'm the butler. What should I call the new mistress?"
I opened my mouth to answer Eponìne, then realized I couldn't That girl was dead. After a long minute, I answered, "Euphrasie." I had heard a lady respond to that name once, she had been getting into a pretty carriage. Plus, it began with an "E," just like my old name had.
Boise nodded. "Your maid's name is Sylvie, she'll take you to your room, Mademoiselle Euphrasie." I smiled, maybe a little smugly. Boise walked away then shortly a gangly maid came in. I decided I needed a friend in this beautiful, but empty place.
"Hello, Sylvie?" she nodded. Her hair was a mousy blond and her face was spotted. Her outfit was neatly pressed but she had a air of mischief, that I, the queen of such, could detect. "I'm going to tell you a secret. My name used to be Eponìne, and I was a street urchin. My father is a cruel man, a thief, and my mother is a schemer. I've left them 're wicked people, but so am I. I just got back from one of the barricades of the street, where I had convinced the man that I love, Marius, that I had died. So, if you understand, Eponìne is dead. Euphrasie now lives in number 13 Rue de Forestis, but she still loves Marius. I'm Euphrasie, and I want to learn how to be a lady. Will you help me?"
Sylvie started at me with her mouth gaping for a few seconds. Then she shut it, whipped off her pristine apron, and squealed, "Monsieur Chevalier was a good sort. But this is great!" She curtsied daintily. "I'm no lady, but I'll help ya!" I gave a wide smile. "You'll need to keep paying me though. If you're a good mistress to me and my family, I'll keep your secret."
"Of course your pay will continue. You'll earn however much M. Chevalier used to pay. Now I have something important I need your help with." I gently took off Marius' jacket and showed Sylvie my bloody wound. She gasped. "Please, get me to my room and fix this." She lead me up, and soon I was in a masculine room full of fine things. I loved it. Then she washed my wound, had another maid fetch the cook, and food was brought up. I ate a bit, then slept.
I woke up. There was no light in my room, the heavy velvet drapes blocked everything. The pain in my side wasn't as strong as had been, and I felt clean and full, which was a rare experience for me. I shakily brought a hand up and felt my face. No dirt or grime! "I'll get used to this real fast." I said, laughing to myself. That hurt. Laughing wasn't a good idea with a chunk of my side blown off.
"You're awake!" Sylvie shouted, then strode into my room with a tray of food. I groaned at her loud voice, but eagerly scarfed the food down. It was delicious.
"How long did I sleep?" I asked between mouthfuls, though a bit of crumbs still dribbled down my chin.
"Nearly two days," she replied. "A physician saw you, and he said you'll be fine as long as your wound is kept clean." I nodded, then continued to eat. I had never had a real bed before, and the luxury of being in a huge one while eating was quite exhilarating.
"What have I missed out on?" I questioned. I had already initiated Sylvie to be my friend, so I didn't care that we acted like such even though I was her boss.
"The fighting in the street continues. Beau, my husband, said that the police got the best of most of the barricades. I'll be glad when all of the fighting stops, I want to go outside again!" Sylvie pouted. I immediately dropped my fork. Oh my God! Marius! His barricade! I painfully pulled myself from the bed.
"Sylvie, quick, get me a dress! I have to go!" Sylvie didn't understand, but brought out a dress. A real dress, one that was fit for a real lady. A dress like that damned Cosette wore. She helped me into it, though I couldn't wear the corset because of my injury. Sylvie quickly tied up my hair, and brought me a looking glass. Wow! The food, bath, sleep and gown made me look like a girl! Not gorgeous as her, but pretty maybe. My gaunt cheeks almost looked rosy, and the hollows under my eyes looked less red. Plus all the dirt was gone, so I could actually see my features. I realized that Marius would still recognize me, so I had a fancy hat with a lacy veil brought on. With that one, I hurried out the house. I think Sylvie was a bit horrified, but she probably remembered that I was a ruffian at that point. I tried to run as fast as I could, but the dress and my wound made it hard.
Finally, when the moon sank beneath a few clouds, I managed to make it to the barricade. There were no police surrounding it. Not a good sign. Silently, I strode in. Oh God.
There were bodies everywhere. Strewn over the ground, draped on chairs and the barricade. Everyone was dead! Blood streamed all over the ground and filled the gutters. I wanted to sit on the ground and cry. All of the food in my stomach felt like it could come back up. Then I remembered one of the few useful things my father had taught me. Death was tricky, and sometimes people you thought were dead were actually a thing called "unconscious." Maybe some of them were alive. I jumped up, and looked for Marius. I found him on the ground, spread out and looking like an angel. A ghastly pale, bloody angel. His eyes were closed. That was when I ran. Who knows for how long it took.
When I returned to the abandoned barricade, I had two physicians and the biggest of my new employees. One physician immediately began to look for men alive among the bodies, and I took the other to see my Marius. After a few tense moments, he said Marius was alive. I got my worker to carefully lift him to my new carriage-wagon thing and tensely waited for the others. I held Marius' limp hand in my own, and stroked his bloody brow. How did he manage to look handsome after being shot? After nearly an hour, three men were lifted into the wagon, and the doctors said they also living. Then they said that every man, including Marius, was on the brink of death. I had them rushed off to my brand new home and cared for. I told the doctors that the men could live at my home, on the other side of the mansion. I instructed that Marius was to be kept in the best room, that he was to be watched and cared for at every moment. Then I went back to my room and slept. My wound began to bleed again. Dammit it all to hell.