Freaky Friday

Starring…

The slayers!

All right, before I begin, let me just say right here, right now that I do NOT own the rights to the title "Freaky Friday". I don't want any of those Disney people after me, god knows they're vindictive, spiteful and just plain MEAN….Mickey tried to kill me yesterday, and I don't even WANT to go into what Donald did last week…

ANYWAYS, ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!

*I do not own the slayers either.*

The Slayers gang was walking down the road less traveled, we'll call it the less traveled road, when suddenly a band of hooligans jumped out to block their way. One was a giant mouse. With a red bowtie, and no shirt on. O.O…and a duck, without pants.

The day was already quite…odd.

"Give us all your money!" the giant mouse yelled.

"And your pants! Quack!" the duck added.

The whole slayers gang looked at them for a second sweatdrop, then to Lina who already had a fireball in hand and was drooling.

"Roast…duck!" Lina's eyes grew big, "Gourry! Get your sword! You get to carve!"

"Alright!" Gourry whipped out his sword of light, drool also dripping.

"Ms. Lina! Mr. Gourry! That just isn't just!"

Zelgadiss had meanwhile walked to a nearby tree and begun to beat his head against it.

"Why Amelia? They're holding US up!"

"Well, because!" Amelia thought for a second, "They have to be marinated first!"

By this point, the giant mouse and duck had begun to run away.

Begun…

"FIREBALL!"

…They didn't get far.

***

Later on, after lunch, they continued down the less traveled road, which seemed to be more and more frequently traveled as they walked on. Then, in the distance, they saw a small town.

Yes, a small town. Not just a town with that small town feeling. We're talking about a four-house town, literally.

Walking into town, and out, then back into town they found a girl, about Lina's age, outside, sewing.

Yes, sewing, as in sew, a needle pulling thread. But not fa, a long long way to run. ^_^

Sew…I mean, so, the gang stopped and asked her why the less traveled road was being more frequently traveled.

"Hey, why is this less traveled road being more frequently traveled?" Lina asked the girl.

The girl told them she didn't know.

"Oh, there's a town a couple miles down that is having a fair today and tomorrow."

Ok, so I lied. ^_^

Amelia's eyes grew big and glittery, "A fair?!? I haven't been to a fair since I left Sairoon…or is it Sailoon? See! I haven't been home for so long, I can't even remember the name!" Amelia fell to the ground and dramatically beat her fists into the ground, "It isn't fair! It isn't just! It-"

"It's on the way so we'll stop." Lina growled.

"-isn't right that we stay here any longer! Let's go!" Amelia's waterworks dried up and she speed skipped down the road, leaving a dust trail behind.

"Yeah!" Gourry yelled and ran behind her. Lina, thinking of all the food they would have there, began to run as well. Zelgadiss walked. Slowly.

***

The town with the fair wasn't too much bigger than the other one (it was a 10 house town.) but they had a bar. A…. KAROKE bar!

"Geez, this ten house town doesn't even have a bar!"

Ok, I lied again. ^_^

"Good god," Zelgadiss leaned against a wall and crossed his arms. Then promptly fell on his a$$. "What the-!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss!"

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Good job Zel, I knew you weighed a ton of bricks, but you took out a whole house?" Lina laughed insanely, "That's insane!"

Zel rubbed the back of his head (which hadn't hit anything and really wouldn't have hurt anyways since he's a stone chimera) "I don't get it…."

Gourry, upon closer inspection of the house, yelled "Hey! This house is weird!"

All of them gathered around the fallen house.

"It's just…. a cardboard cut out!" Amelia gasped.

Lina went to another house and found the same thing, "What the hell?"

"HA HA HA!" a laugh came out of the blue…house.

All of them looked at the blue house cut out and noticed that a door was being cut out.

"I know that voice…" Lina thought outloud, so actually she said it.

And there, standing in the newly cut doorway of the cardboard cut out house was no other than the infamous, the terrible, the horrible, the evil, the maniacal………………..

"Martina?!?!?" they all yelled in shock as the skimpily clad princess of the town that doesn't exist laughed.

"Yes, it is I, the wonderful, beautiful, extraordinary, ravishing-"

"Moronic, stupid, slutty, dumber-than-Gourry-"

"Hey! Not only do you insult me, but you interrupt me?!? Now I know you must die, Lina Inverse!"

Lina sighed and smacked her forehead with her hand, "Why me?"

"Cause your mean, rude, evil-incarnate, did I mention rude-" Zelgadiss began to count on his fingers.

"HEY!"

"-flat-chested, selfish, loud, bottomless pit, and you hit people a lot," Gourry finished up for Zelgadiss, rubbing a new bump on his head.

Gourry was promptly beaten….again.

"ANYWAYS! Back to me!" Martina yelled, then attempted to laugh coyly, which she failed.

Amelia, who had been listening, just then realized that there was no fair.

"Hey! There is no fair!"

"HA HA HA! That was all part of my master plan! HA HA HA!"

Amelia had now flown up to the top of a cardboard house and pointed down at her. "That is unjust! That is- whoa!" The house fell down at this point.

"Why do you want to kill me this time Martina?"

Martina, blushing, started to mumble something under her breath.

"What? Can't hear you!"

"mumble mumble mumble."

"What??"

"I SAID Zangulus called your name out in bed the other night and you must DIE!"

Everyone fell down.

Lina, after recovering from the shock, shouted at Martina, "Then why don't you kill HIM!"

Martina blushed again and made hearts in the sand with her foot, "Cause I love him too much…*giggle*"

Everyone fell down again.

"Well, then why kill ME!"

"Oh, that's easy, cause you're a flat-chested witch and the world would be a better place," Martina started laughing. She was still laughing when Lina joined in, all though a tad bit more evilly.

"Oh really? DRAGON SLAVE!"

Martina went flying through the air.

As she went flying, she took out her ceremony knife, "Curse you Lina Inverse! Even now, I will STILL get my revenge on you!" She made the proper symbols in the air and all that stuff, and spoke the sacred words, yada yada yada. Except…

The spell was in an ancient language, and Martina had been to cheep to buy the original, so she spent only a ¼ of the price on a bad translation copy. Big mistake. What was the spell? ^_~

***

The next day, after camping out at the Cardboard Town (named by Gourry) the sun shone brightly as Lina woke up.

Stepping out of the tent she shared with Amelia, she cheerfully greeted her friends, "Good Morning!"

Gourry looked up from the fire he had made out of one of the houses, "Morning."

"Where's Zelgadiss?" Lina asked, looking around.

Gourry kind of half smirked, "He's around here somewhere."

Lina, a bit puzzled at the expression that had been on his face, blinked, "O..k…. well, I'm gonna go try and find some breakfast."

Gourry got a confused (aka normal) look on his face, "O..k.."

Lina went off into the woods just as Amelia was waking up in the tent. The sun shone brightly and the birds chirped their songs as she stepped out of the tent.

"Goooood Morning!" Amelia said in her normal cheerful way, "How are you Mr. Gourry?"

"O.o? Um….I'm good….."

"That's great! Hey, where's Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked, looking around.

"O.o? Um….I don't know…"

"Oh, ok! Well, I'm gonna go wash up before breakfast!" Amelia bounded off cheerfully into the woods, humming a little tune.

Zelgadiss came back from where ever he was (ok, so I'm not imaginative!).

"Morning."

"Girls aren't up yet?"

"They went into the woods."

"Oh."

Guys aren't talkative sometimes.

***

Lina reeled (so to speak) in another fish and threw it on the pile. "Alright! Now only one more and my breakfast's set! The rest of them will have to fend for themselves!"

Meanwhile, Amelia skipped gleefully through the woods and slowly made her way to where Lina was.

Reaching it, she bounded through, ready to call out her happy Good Morning and…….

…Stopped dead in her tracks.

There, sitting by the river and fishing was……….

AMELIA!

"What the- Oh my-" Amelia stammered and took a step back.

The impersonator, surprised at the newcomer, stood up quickly and turned and stared, wide-eyed.

"What the hell? No way!"

Both girls at the same time shouted, "Who are you?" then "I asked first!" "No I did!" "Shutup!"

The guys, hearing yelling, decided to investigate because it seemed more interesting than the non-existent conversation they were having.

They made it to the river in time to see Lina and Amelia throwing fish at eachother.

"Girls! What's going on?" Zelgadiss asked, ducking a flying fish. (No, not Rahanama)

"Oh Zelgadiss! Thank God you're here!" Amelia yelled, glomping his arm tightly, "She's so mean!"

"O.O?" Lina, Zelgadiss and Gourry were all a bit shocked.

"How do you know Zelgadiss!" Lina yelled.

"Lina?" Gourry asked, shocked.

"O.o?" Zelgadiss just looked at Amelia, then Lina, then back to Amelia.

"That's not me! That's just some look-alike!" Lina yelled.

Gourry looked at Lina, "She's….YOUR look alike?"

"YES!"

"But you guys don't look anything alike!"

"Yes we do!" both Amelia and Lina yelled.

"Um, I'm gonna have to go with Gourry on this one." Zelgadiss said, trying to pry Amelia off his arm.

"What the @#%& are you guys talking about?"

Both guys, shocked, " Amelia!?"

"NO! That's not me! I'm me! I don't talk like that! You potty mouth!" Amelia pointed at the look- alike, "In the name of justice, tell us who you really are!"

"O.o? Um Lina, are you feeling alright?"

"YES GODDAMIT I AM!" Lina yelled and then for the first time looked down slightly and caught a glimpse of the fact that she had a bust.

Quite a busty bust…

"Oh…my…god…."

Amelia looked at her questioningly as the look alike looked down at her body. "What?" Amelia looked down and….

"OH MY GOD! I'M FLAT!" and promptly fainted.

***

Later, when she woke up and looked down, saw that she was still flat, she fainted again.

"You know, I'm not THAT flat!"

"Yeah, ya are."

"Gourry SHUT UP!"

"Well, you are."

"FIREBALL"

***

Later, when Amelia woke up again, she went on a justice rampage.

"We HAVE to find who did this! This is UNJUST! This is not fair! This is just plain MEAN!"

Lina, who was sitting by a fire next to a charbroiled Gourry, pouted, "You know, my body is NOT that bad…"

Gourry opened his mouth to say something, thought better, and shut it again.

"So you two really have, um…switched bodies?" Zelgadiss asked.

Amelia and Lina nodded. "I don't know how it happened, I just woke up this morning in this body," Lina answered him.

"But, who would do this Ms. Lina?" Amelia asked her.

"HA HA HA" they heard from above, then a crash in the woods next to them. Popping out of the bushes next to their campsite came Martina, dusting herself off. "HA HA HA."

"Martina?!?"

"HA HA HA!"

"Where did you come from?"

"Zoana of course!"

"No moron, right now!"

"HA HA HA oh, now…well, after mean Lina sent me flying, I landed here."

"Just now?" Zelgadiss asked.

"Well, I knew she was an air head, I just didn't know she floated that easily."

"HA HA HA my curse will hit you anytime now Lina!"

"What curse?"

"HA HA HA my curse to kill you!"

"ok…"

"It will separate you from your body and your spirit will wander helplessly for all eternity! HA HA HA"

"Sounds like fun…" Lina murmured sarcastically.

"Wait, did you say separate from her body?" Zelgadiss asked. "Maybe she messed up with her curse."

"Do you think that's what happened Mr. Zelgadiss?"

"HA HA HA I would never mess up!"

"So, you MEANT to switch me and Amelia's bodies?"

"Um….yeah, ha ha ha?"

Lina, who's body was Amelia's, attacked Martina, "TURN US BACK! TURN US BACK!"

"Be careful with my body Ms. Lina!"

"This is WAY too weird…"Gourry said, roasting some marshmallows.

"No kidding," Zelgadiss agreed, trying to ignore the cat fight. Something in the bushes caught his eye.

"Hey, whats that in the bushes that caught my eye?" Zelgadiss said to himself, so really outloud. Upon closer inspection of the bush, he found a ceremony knife with words written on it.

"Hey Lina, Amelia, I think I found the curse."

Lina dropped Martina and ran over to Zel with Amelia, "Why do you think that?"

"Well, there's this piece of paper with words on it that says in bold letters at the top of the page 'curse' and then theres the knife here that is engraved on the handle." He showed them the handle that said "Martina's ceremonial cursing knife for Lina Inverse."

"Hmm….I still can't see why you think that," Gourry got in his thinking mode while he ate his smores.

"Maybe this will help," Amelia pulled an envelope out from under the bush, "Here's a drawing of Lina, and a picture of Martina stabbing the drawing, and Martina holding the knife with a cardboard cut out house, and Martina's plan, and oh, here you go, a copy of the plot."

"Oohhh!"

"I didn't think there was a plot to this." Zelgadiss said, and was promptly hit with a script. Not this stories script, the book "war and peace." ^_^

"So how do we fix this?" Lina asked, stealing one of Gourry's smores.

"Here's the instruction manual!" Amelia pulled it out of the envelope. "To stop curse, you must remove the ancient lettering on the knife."

"How are we supposed to do that!" Lina asked, really pissed now.

"HA HA HA! YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT!"

"Hey, Lina, look," Gourry picked up the knife.

"Not now Gourry, I'm gonna kill a princess." Amelia hid.

"But Lina, look!"

"WHAT?"

Gourry waved the knife around, "She just wrote it on with crayon, it wipes right off!."

After picking herself back off the ground, she turned to Martina, "You did a curse on me with CRAYON?!?"

"Ha ha ha?" Martina laughed nervously.

Gourry wiped off the letters and immediately Lina and Amelia were back in their usual bodies.

*poof*

Later on that day, after tying Martina to a raft and sending her down the river, the slayers headed off again down that less traveled road, this time still less traveled, and decided that they would visit New Zoana, so that Lina could blow up Zangulus for thinking of her at…inappropriate times.

THE END

Sorry folks for the bout of random insanity…..^_^ I love insanity though, it is my friend. And yes, I realize that at the beginning the slayers turned a little cannibalistic with Donald but, oh well, right? It's just a Disney character……*hides from Disney lawyers*.