A/N So I rewatched the Return of the King this weekend and this happened.
On the eternal shores of a far-off land, a pensive hobbit sat reflecting on his decisions. More specifically, his decision to travel to this land. He had grown accustomed to his new life, and yet – there were some things that he missed – or rather, some people.
He missed his cousins Merry and Pippin. He missed their laughter, and he missed their crazy shenanigans that always got them into so much trouble. But most of all, he missed Sam.
Frodo had tried to deny it, but in his heart he knew his feelings for the gardener had never really disappeared. It was just as if he had seen his old friend yesterday.
He had only had a simple crush on his friend when they left the Shire, but his feelings grew more and more as Sam continued to put himself in harm's way to protect Frodo. In fact, Frodo had even permitted himself to believe that Sam might have feelings for him.
But Sam had crushed Frodo's heart with a simple sentence – "If I was to marry anybody, it would've been her." Rosie Cotton, of course. The prettiest lass in the Shire. Then, after the marriage, Rosie never left Sam's side. As a result, Sam rarely visited Frodo and on the occasion that Frodo stopped by to see him, he was always with Rosie.
Frodo had been almost at the breaking point when he received the invitation to join Bilbo and the elves on their journey. Once he saw that Rosie (for once) wasn't with Sam at the shores, the realization finally hit him that this was it. This was the last time he would ever see Sam. A fist reached into his chest and clenched around his heart. He had no choice but to go – the wound of the Morgul-blade would never heal if he did not – but it was still painful that he was leaving to never return.
He took his mind off the impending farewell by listening to Gandalf's speech. Bu the end, he was the only one not in tears. For of course, he was not saying goodbye to Gandalf.
Gandalf turned to walk away, and Frodo knew.
"It is time, Frodo," said the wizard.
"What does he mean, it is time?" asked Sam, turning to Frodo.
"We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved. But not for me."
"You don't mean that," Sam stated, the expression on his face breaking Frodo's heart. "You can't leave!"
Oh, but I must – Sam, dearest Sam, don't you understand? I have no choice. I would like nothing better than to stay with you, but…
Frodo managed to pull out his book, unfinished, waiting. "The last pages are for you, Sam."
He turned to his cousins. No words were needed to express how sorrowful they both were. He pulled them into a crushing embrace, all the while controlling his emotions so their last memory of him was not of a bleary-eyed, sniffling mess.
Releasing them, he turned back to Sam, and they pulled together for a last hug. Do it! Now – tell him now. This is your last chance! But you don't want him to remember you as disgusting and repugnant… But if you don't do it now, he'll never know!
Frodo's two sides warred within him, but eventually the coward in him won out, and he pulled away from Sam without making a confession. He pulled Sam's head down for a kiss on the forehead, savoring the contact for perhaps longer than was necessary, if only to feel Sam's skin under his lips for longer. Oh! If only to feel Sam's lips – but that would never happen. It was too late now. Coward! his inner voice screamed at him, and it was true.
Frodo pulled away and took Gandalf's hand to board the vessel. He turned to face his companions for the last time. He smiled – a true, happy smile – for he knew that Sam would be content with Rosie, and Merry and Pippin – well, they would be content with each other.
As for Frodo, he would never feel the phantom pains of the Morgul-blade again. The only phantom pains he felt now were the pangs of his heart.
"Coward!" he cried to himself. He truly wished he could go back, change his mind, and tell Sam his feelings. For now he would be alone, alone for all eternity.
Alone, without his Sam.
Because he was a coward.