Steve and Kyle: A Tale of Lust and Loss
"Fucking cunts." It's a Saturday night and Steve is hitting up the bar as usual; getting shit-faced and talking about his friends and co-workers.
"Honest to God if I have to make one more fucking Steve and Tyler..." A normal Saturday night for Steve. Steve had been down in the dumps ever since he had read that one dirty fanfic involving Markiplier, a chainsaw dildo and an army of enslaved killer cockroaches. He shivered at the mere thought of it.
"Hey, I think I'll have a..." Steve turned around at the voice and was surprised to see Kyle standing there wearing a purple trench-coat and a turban. Steve thought that his getup was peculiar but didn't press him for answers as he was just glad to see a familiar face.
"Hey Kyle, fancy seeing you here," said Steve "I didn't know you liked this place."
"Oh... Well..." Kyle seemed flustered by Steve's sudden appearance. "I just thought I'd check the place out, I heard this place was great to meet people."
"Yeah, it is..." There was an awkward silence. The two men stared at each other for a moment but quickly looked away. They both knew that this was how sexual fan-fictions usually started and God knows they didn't want to be in that situation.
"So..." said Kyle.
"Yeah..." replied Steve
"You come here often?"
"Oh yeah," Steve said, regaining some of his lost enthusiasm "All the time."
"Cool." said Kyle.
"Cool."said Steve. And there was that pregnant pause again. It was at that moment that a beautiful girl arrived and offered to buy them both drinks. Steve and Kyle accepted, anything to relieve them of that deafening silence.
Three hours and enough alcohol to fuel Scotland later, neither Kyle nor Steve was in any state to drive. However, the gorgeous dame hadn't had a drop to drink the entire night and was sober enough to drive. The girl offered to take them both home but there was a slight hiccup. When she asked Kyle, he said that he lived on rainbow road and Steve was too busy talking to a plant to pay any attention to anything else. The girl piled the two of them into her car and started to drive out of town. She slipped the tiny tube of pills that she had used to drug the two of them into her glove box as she did so.
About an hour before sunrise, the party of three arrived at a warehouse shrouded in leaves, with ivy growing all over.
"Wass goin' on?" Kyle slurred
"Iss Noah's fuck'n ark Kyle." Steve slurred back.
The girl took the two of them by the hand and led them to a nicely furbished room around the back of the warehouse. There were nice couches, a bed, a desk, a cabinet full of dildos, nicely embroidered quilts, a coat rack, a rack for torture, a fish tank and a couple of lava lamps. Steve and Kyle started looking around the room and the girl slipped out of the room into a walk-in closet in the corner of the room and vanished from sight. By this point, the drugs were starting to wear off and the feeling of intense glee was replaced with worry.
"Kyle?" said Steve, his voice trembling slightly.
"Yeah, Steve?" answered Kyle
"Where the fuck are we?"
"I have no clue."
"The last thing I remember is seeing you wearing that ridiculous outfit and wondering if I should mention it or not."
"Oh, this?" said Kyle amusedly, "This was for a dare, that's the whole reason I was in the bar actually." The two of them laughed for a brief moment before the most magnificent thing they had ever seen stepped out of the closet in the corner.
The woman was completely naked. She was wearing absolutely nothing. Not even socks. The two men thought that if beauty could take human form, then this was it. Her breasts moved gently as she breathed and she was clean shaven. Her cunt seemed radiant and it drew both the men in. Their jaws had hit the floor a long while ago. The girl placed a hand on Kyle's cheek and drew him in for a kiss. Steve watched on in awe of this beautiful goddess kissing his friend as his bulging erection started to rip the seams of his jeans. The girl reached down to Kyle's chest and removed his trench-coat. Kyle was entirely naked underneath. His throbbing cock seemed to convulse in this girl's presence and this seemed to turn the girl on. She reached down and started stroking his shaft slowly, as everyone in the room knew that under such pressure, Kyle would cum instantly. She started to speed up as Kyle became accustomed to the movements. Kyle groaned in ecstasy as a ripping noise could be heard a few feet away. Steve's stump of a dick had managed to rip a hole through his jeans. Everyone was surprised at such a feat of penile strength.
"Wow." said Kyle, stunned.
"This hasn't happened before..." said Steve, shocked.
"Not that Steve, look at the size of it." Steve looked down to see that his one inch pecker had miraculously grown in size, almost to the size of a black pornstar's.
"HOLY FUCKING TITS!" cried Steve, "IT'S SO FUCKING HUUUUGE!"
"I'd like to touch it." said Kyle calmly.
"Go ahead!" said Steve joyously. Kyle got down onto his knees and started to caress Steve's penis.
"Oh my God," said Kyle "It's like a fucking python!" Kyle's hands started to move faster and suddenly it had turned into a full on hand job.
"Mmmmmm." moaned Steve. Kyle started to suck the head as he jacked off the member.
"Oh yeah." sighed Steve. The girl watched on in horror as her plan went up in smoke around her. She tried to grab their attention by pulling Kyle away.
"FUCK OFF YOU DIRTY SHEEP FUCKER, THIS IS BETWEEN US NOW!" Kyle yelled as he punched the girl in the face. She ran sobbing from the room with a shattered nose and was never seen again.
"Now, where were we?" said Kyle as he got back down onto his knees to stroke Steve's fat wang.
This continued for several minutes until Steve said "It's my turn now." and spun Kyle round onto the couch by his dong.
"Oh baby, this is gonna be good." said Kyle, clapping his hands together. Steve massaged Kyle's balls as he licked and jacked the rod of power.
"Mmmmmm" Kyle moaned as Steve bounced around him.
This continued for several more minutes until Kyle announced that he had had enough. Kyle pulled Steve up into a fiery, passionate kiss. They could both taste their own and each other's saliva and genitalia. Due to this, the kiss was short lived and both Kyle and Steve spat out the contents of their mouths onto the floor. All of a sudden, Kyle grabbed Steve by the ass and gently prodded his anus with his stiffy.
"Oh fuck Kyle, I don't know if I can do this..." said Steve.
"Shhhhh" Kyle replied. Gently, slowly, ever so slightly, Kyle moved deeper within Steve.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..." Steve repeated as Kyle plunged further in.
Eventually and with much pain along the way, Kyle began to rhythmically pound Steve's tight little shitter.
"I'm gonna cum. Oh fuck." Kyle said as he released his steamy hot load of man juice deep within Steve's colon.
"Mmmm Kyle, now bend over, whore." Steve said as he pushed Kyle into a kneeling position.
"No Steve! Your little friend is too big now, there's no telling what will happen!" Kyle pleaded as he tried to get away from Steve. But Steve was having none of it. Something must've gone wrong when his cunt masher grew in size and now he was an unstoppable, testosterone-fuelled sex machine.
Steve slammed himself into Kyle with ball-slapping, Earth-shattering force. He held himself there as Kyle screamed in agony. However, Steve's stamina remained constant even after his growth, and so he came instantly. He pulled out as jizz and blood flew all over the room, breaking windows, shattering doors, crushing tables and causing mayhem. A metaphorical tornado of cum and blood rampaged through the room but quickly subsided. Steve collapsed into a heap on the floor and Kyle lay writhing in puddles of Steve's spunk and his own ass blood.
They awoke several hours later in the same room, in the same mess, but this time the sun was high in the sky and a pleasant breeze was rolling in.
"Sorry." said Steve glumly.
"What the... Steve, you... but... and the girl... but then..." stuttered Kyle "Ah fuck it, I forgive you, you weren't in your right state of mind."
Steve waded over to Kyle and helped him up.
"Thanks" said Steve "Want to do this again sometime?"
"Sure thing buddy."
And the two of them walked off into the distance, arm in arm and lived happily ever after.
Except for Kyle's ass surgery.
The End