Taken by Negan, Daryl has to find a reason to go on when his guilt spiral threatens to drag him under. His thoughts before facing his death included moments of closeness with the family he made after the Turn. In his hour of greatest need, one very special person who has always believed in him appears, giving him hope.

In the Early Morning Hours

"You know you have to go."

"I'm staying."

"They'll be here soon... gotta go... you stay safe."

"Daryl, you know that they can't see me, right?"

Daryl Dixon shifted, the hard cold concrete beneath his ass giving no quarter, no comfort to his aching painful joints and bruises, the ghosts of wounds old and new that plagued him now waking or asleep.

"Cause you're not real." Daryl murmured, wiping his hand up over across his face in weary sadness.

"That doesn't mean I can't help you." Carol told him, her small cool hand briefly closing over his and then sliding up to push the blood crusted hair off his brow.

"Gonna give me a ghost knife s'I can slit that fucker's throat next time he drags me outa here?" he replied in a voice laced with venom.

"I'm not a ghost, Daryl."

"You say..." Daryl sighed.

It was either that or he was losing his mind.

"I'm here because some part of you needs me to be here." Carol said gently, continuing her soothing caress smoothing his hair back.

"Just need to know you're safe." Daryl said stubbornly, disagreeing. "That you wasn't there..."

"I wasn't there." Carol reminded him, reassuring him, agreeing with him, leaning close to place a kiss to his forehead, the same as she'd done in the times before when he'd felt a failure. "It's all going to be all right."

Daryl turned his head as if the brush of her lips had seared white hot against his bruised and bloodied skin.

"Never gonna be right." he choked out the words as a pained sob, his mouth turned down in a rictus of grief as his hands rose to push her away from him.

The guilt was his other companion here at Sanctuary. The hollow sound of his friends' deaths rung out playing on an endless loop.

"You have to stay strong." Carol said, refusing to let him dismiss her, holding on tight to his shoulders. "For everyone who cares about you."

"Hate me." Daryl muttered, hair falling back over his tightly closed eyes, his lowered head moving back and forth in denial. "Killed him."

"Negan killed him Daryl." Caryl said, shaking him, hard. "Look at me—Daryl—look at me and tell me you know that."

"He swung the bat." Daryl gritted out, his voice filled with shame, "I'm the one put the target on Glenn's head."

"You can't take that on."

"The fuck I don't." Daryl spit. "I stay down he'd still be breathin'."

"You don't know that—Negan's a monster just looking for any excuse—"

"N' I gave him one." Daryl whispered. "Jus' like I didn't find Blake... lost Hershel... lost Beth... all my fault..."

"So the universe revolves around you then?" Carol asked, her tone kind but skeptical. "All the evil in it starts and stops with Daryl Dixon's actions or inactions?"

Daryl glared up at her. She knew that wasn't what he meant. He was nothing, lower than the dirt.

"You're a good man." Carol said, and the honest belief in her words brought tears to his eyes as he shook his head back and forth again in denial.

"So you're just giving up." she said, this time with disbelief and perhaps a bit of fear for him.

"Ain't never gonna let me go." he croaked, hopeless, turtle rolling onto his back.

"We need you... All of us. We need you to fight for us; to come home to us." Carol pleaded, still kneeling next to him.

"Don't... jus' go... just leave me... be better off without me... always fuckin' it up ...everything... nobody needs—."

"I need you..." Carol interrupted his protest, sitting cross-legged so she could pull his head into her lap, her soft exhausted voice catching on a sob as she leaned over him, her hands holding his face, her mouth to his ear, "Please, Daryl, please don't leave me here alone..."

Daryl turned his head to look up at her, saw the tears that filled her luminous eyes, thought of how lost she had looked when they'd found her and Maggie at the Savior's compound.

Alone.

She needed him.

"I love you."

He held still as she lowered her face; felt her sweet breath as she asked him again not to leave her; felt joy when she touched her lips to his.

"He's doin' it again." Simon grunted, watching the Boss's pet in his cage. Taking a sip of the bitter coffee turned cold he grimaced as he looked over at Dwight approaching with Sherry, bringing Daryl's meager breakfast.

The two stopped in front of the cell, joining Negan's right hand man to watch Daryl talk to some invisible companion as he often did in the early morning hours before his torture would begin again.

"Broke him." Dwight said dismissively, negligently closing one eye and aiming the crossbow that used to belong to the prisoner as if he would put a bolt through Daryl's heart, lowering it only when Simon scowled out a reprimand.

"No. Not yet," Sherry said, her tone bittersweet, watching Daryl touch his fingers to his cracked dry lips and smile.

It's going to be another tough journey for our heroes this year. I hope we get some indication that Caryl at least thinks about one another while they are apart for another whole 1st half of a season. That she was the one who appeared most often in his pre-death flashes is our thin thread of hope to hang onto. I've tried to build on that here.

Thanks for reading.