It's one of those ironic moments where we both have news for each other and try to announce it at the same time. He's leaning over the kitchen counter while I'm washing the grand total of two plates we use every night at dinner. We have this entire collection of china that he insisted on buying and we use two dishes every night at dinner. We don't even use them at breakfast or lunch. We hardly have to run the dishwasher.
But I'm washing the dishes and smiling to myself because I've planned how I'm going to tell him my little bit of news very carefully. And it's nice because when I look over he's exactly how I pictured he'd look. It's after dinner, so we've entered those rare of time where he's not in a suit. I like to pretend I'm one of the few people who have seen him this way: not entirely put together. And, yet, he's still Arthur. So he's still put together. He doesn't have a lot of casual clothes, so he's wearing an undershirt, the last layer of all those clothes he puts on every morning, and dress pants. Still. If I think about it, I can recall that he owns maybe two pairs of jeans, but I couldn't tell you where they are in our closet. Probably buried at the bottom somewhere. Arthur doesn't wear jeans. But this is exactly how I pictured he'd look, so I'm satisfied. I clear my throat. And he looks up from where he's looking at his hands to see me looking back at him. He looks worried so I don't say what I thought I would.
"What's up?" He shakes his head.
"It's just… I have something to tell you." I put the dish that I'm cleaning down and turn around. The counter is between us and I wish it wasn't.
"I have something to tell you, too…" His expression changes. He had a conversation planned in his mind, too. And neither of our conversations are going to go how we thought.
"Do you want to go first?" I think about this for a second because it is actually a difficult question. But then I nod.
"Yeah." When I don't continue, he raises his eyebrows at me. And I start to smile, biting my lip. "Arthur…" I take a deep breath because I'm shaking and I need to calm down. "I'm pregnant." And then his expression changes again, so entirely, and he's around the counter and he's wrapping his arms around me and kissing the side of my head and we're laughing. And I almost forget about his news.
He frowns a little when I remind him and pushes the hair away from where he has smushed it against my face. "I got a job, Ari." I exhale in relief. I don't know what I expected, but he had made it sound so horrible.
"Well, god, that's great!" But he doesn't look as happy as I sound. That makes me worry again. "What?" He sighs and his breath makes the hair on the sides of my face flutter.
"Cobb wouldn't take it. So he recommended Eames and I." I shake my head a little. I still don't understand.
"That's good, though… Dom knows you guys can do it…" My voice trails off because he still doesn't agree with me.
"It's really… dangerous, Ariadne." He pulls away a little, but I keep my hands on his chest so he can't get far. Now I'm starting to see. Things are different. Things are even more different than when this conversation began. He hasn't done a job like that since… Since we met. He hasn't needed to. He hasn't wanted to. And that's what it's about, wanting to. Arthur never really needs to do it. We have money, I have a job, a legitimate one, we're comfortable. He hasn't even been offered one. But now the danger has more of a price. He has me to think about. Now, there's a family to consider. Our family.
After the job, I didn't see him again until I graduate from grad school. He shows up in Paris with a bouquet of daisies and I can't even begin to explain him to my family so I just say he's a friend and at the first moment we're alone he asks me if I might possibly be interested in being taken out to dinner. I say I am. Because I am and because I wasn't lying to my family. He is a friend. A friend that I haven't seen in a while. So I go to dinner with him. Later, we'll laugh about how backwards everything about it was. How it is so very funny that we didn't sleep together after that first date because we had already slept together months before, back in Los Angeles after the longest plane ride of our lives. After that night in L.A., we pretend we're classy people with smirks on our faces at a restaurant I pick out in Paris and then he kisses me on the cheek when he drops me off at my apartment. And he laughs a bit and tries to be mysterious when I ask him how long he'll be in Europe. He says,
"Long enough."
We get married about two years later in California, where we live now. Dom is there and Phillipa is the flower girl and James is the ring bearer because they are our closest friends now. And Eames is his best man, after much taunting and ridiculousness on both of their parts, after I step in and tell them both to be quiet because who else is going to be his best man? And both my parents walk me down the aisle and when I get to the end, Arthur leans forward and tells me I look beautiful and I start to cry already because I'm so excited to be there. We don't go on a honeymoon, though, because the move to California was so hastily done that the job I have lined up requires me to start two days after we get married. But we get a hotel room and drink a lot of champagne for twenty four hours and pretend we're in the Cayman Islands. It's a good memory.
Eames surprises us both by staying in California after he flies in from wherever he was to attend our wedding. Every day, Arthur and I both wake up half expecting that he's moved off to somewhere across the globe, which would be fine, but he never does. He stays and he and Arthur spend a lot of time in the study of the apartment Arthur bought for me when we moved here. I don't ask what they're doing but they argue a lot and just when I'm about to burst in to put a stop to it, it dissolves into laughter. And I smile and continue what I was doing.
The day after Arthur and I share our news, Eames comes over like he always does. It's a Saturday, so I'm home and I answer the door when he buzzes up. We're all sitting at the kitchen table when Eames says it.
"So, is Ariadne coming? You told her about the job right?" We both look at Arthur because the question is directed at him and because I hadn't even thought about the notion of going with them and how I can't now. Arthur looks at me for a long second before he answers the question.
"She's pregnant." I hold his gaze for a second, smiling a little as he says it before looking at Eames, who's smirking.
"Well, congratulations to the two of you then. I'm sure you'll name it something respectable. I might suggest Eames for instance." I laugh and Arthur rolls his eyes dramatically but soon there's silence in the kitchen.
"You said… it was dangerous, right?" I look from Arthur to Eames and back again. Arthur is hunched over the table, his hands tightly clasped together. Eames is leaning back in his chair nonchalantly.
"It is." I look to Eames when he speaks, chewing my lip. I almost say something before Arthur beats me to it.
"You can't go, Ari." I sit up a little, looking at him until he looks back at me and continues. "It's too dangerous. There are too many things to think about… We can't sedate you…" I can't even argue with him. There is no argument. I can't go. And I'm not entirely sure I want to.
"Okay, fine…" My voice trails off into silence again. Eames is chewing gum very loudly. I watch him for a second before I continue. "But you have to be safe." It seems like a small, redundant request but it falls out of my mouth anyways and I can't stop it. There are so many factors to think about now, all the factors that were weighing on Arthur before he told me about the job. He's my husband and now we're going to have a child… I even say it for Eames because now he is our closest friend and I know it would kill me to lose him. And Arthur too, though he might not be so fast to admit it. "Okay? You have to be careful." I look between the two of them again and they're both looking back at me. Eames looks a bit aloof but Arthur looks as worried as I'm starting to feel. He nods, keeping his eyes on me.
"Of course, Ariadne."