The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.
Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina, Earth Defense Force Mao-Chan, A.I. Love You, My Santa and UQ Holder were created by Akamatsu Ken.
Paradise Residence, Oh my Goddess! and You're Under Arrest! and all their characters were created by and are the property of Fujishima Kosuke.
Sunrise created and owns Mai-Hime and Mai-Otome.
Danganronpa is the property of Spike Chunsoft.
Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.
Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.
Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.
To-LOVE-Ru and Black Cat were created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.
School Days and associated properties were created by 0verflow.
Other series parodied here were created by other authors.
No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.
Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.
Crisis Management.
With credits (again) to inspirators, co-writers and occasional proofreaders Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.
Episode One: Oh my Goddess!
In the beginning, there was only one. A single black infinitude- so cold and dark, for so very long that even the burning light was imperceptible.
But the light grew, and the infinitude shuddered. And the darkness finally screamed, in as much pain as relief.
For in that instant, a Multiverse was born- a Multiverse of worlds vibrating and replicating... and a universe that should have been one, became many.
That was then.
Yggdrasil:
Amidst the absolute darkness, casting the shadows away, shone the regal gold of elaborated rings and pendants on the ears of a young and impossibly beautiful woman, apparently around twenty years old, who slowly opened her lovely blue eyes. She had long and smooth light brown hair, almost blond, reaching down to her knees' height. Her adorable, perfect face featured exotic, distinctive markings; a very small blue triangle under each clear eye, and a thin vertical blue line on the middle of her forehead. She wore no clothes or footwear; aside the golden rings in most fingers of her delicate hands; aside from multiple collars, and the multiple already mentioned earrings, she was completely naked.
She descended, floating in an elegant vertical line, silent and gracefully, through several levels of paradisiacal gardens, each one more luminous than the one before. Until she stopped, with the soft tips of her feet touching the surface of a pool of crystalline waters, surrounded by hundreds of rose bushes. And she looked down. Under the transparent surface rested a whole universe, and at the middle of it, there was a tiny, gorgeous blue planet.
This infinite universe is full of different lives. It is the source of all those lives, and it has been reborn time and time again through the never ending stream of existence. How was this infinite stream created? How is determined what will be the fate of those stars and lives that are created and destroyed?
Fate… Is a fate given to all those gifted with a life? In this small planet, so very many lives have been created, and they have been granted 'fates' of their own. As long as there are births, life will also have to reach a natural end. During those short spans of time, these lives must transpire as intended.
Guided by its wishes, mankind, largely on its own, has evolved. It has known prosperity, degeneration, discovery and destruction. Is it possible that the human race, responsible over all of that, is controlled by fate as well? And what if a person's fate were controlled by another, without taking their own desires into account…?
If the fates of human beings are determined by another… Who is that another?
Somewhere in Tibet.
The small fortress of thick black walls was half buried under a few feet of snow at the peak of one of the world's highest mountains. It was supposed to be a man's Shangri La. His last hideout from the cruelties of the world outside. It was his safe place. And he was, at least, relatively happy with it.
Then, why was he there, intruding, hunting for him? Couldn't he just leave him alone? Did he need to hound his steps through the world, right down to his last safe hiding place? What did spur him to do so? What?
It didn't matter. It wouldn't matter anymore, never. Now, he was prepared for him. As he heard him dispatch his guards, sitting behind his working desk inside of his office, and he watched him through his many TV screens, shooting his way through his troops, the scrawny, bespectacled man caressed the gun in his bony hands. He wouldn't take him this time. He would make sure of it, one way or another.
Did he have any idea of how much it had cost him to hire all those guards with the salary of a mangaka? He plowed his path through them as if he didn't have any care in the world, smiling with cocky confidence, every once in a while throwing a few grenades at them or pulling a bazooka out of his stupid brown hairdo to blow them up. It was all a game for him? Did he have such a low concept of him? Unacceptable.
He was getting closer. The sitting man already could hear the explosions near his door, complete with the desperate yells of the soldiers. It was time. Clearing his sore throat, he stood up and walked to the door, gun in hand.
"I'm waiting for you, SOB," he said then, with a voice that tried to sound cocky and defiant, yet only conveyed a strangled awkwardness.
An Elite Ex-Green Beret mercenary being thrown through his door into the office was his way of saying 'Here I am,' two seconds later. As the unfortunate man fell to the manga artist's feet muttering "He's crazyyyyyy..." very weakly, his tormentor, not bruised at all, stepped in to face him, fixing his tie with an air of complete aloofness befitting a cheesy action movie star from the seventies.
And yet, there was a grim resolve of his own in his eyes.
"Rikdo-san," he said, gravely. "We need to talk."
His old partner pointed his gun at his forehead, right between his eyes, under his huge afro. "The time for talking is over, Nabeshin. You'll never convince me to partner with you again!"
"Is that so?" he asked, critically, giving a long, cynical smoking of the cigarette between his lips. "You shouldn't be so obstinate. Everyone else already has given their approval."
"You lie," the man with the handgun growled. "You just want to trick me again..."
He shrugged, and before the other guy could react putting a bullet into him, he threw a few documents at him. "You can check these out and tell me if I lie..."
He distrusted, naturally. But still, he just had to know if he was being sincere this time. The curiosity got the best of him, and he quickly picked up the papers and read them with widened eyes behind his glasses. "Th-This can't be..."
"Oh, but it is. And if you don't want to take a part on it, you'll be the only one left out. Your call, Rikdo-san. But I'd suggest you to do it... even if it's only for the good ol' times... and the most important thing..."
"Do you mean-?" the scrawny man asked him, with some hope in his voice.
"Yes." He nodded solemnly. "Lots of money!"
The smaller man had to sigh in defeat. "Okay. You win, damn you. I'll do it... for the money!"
"I expected no less from you," Nabeshin sincerely said.
Rikdo pulled the old approval seal out of one of his pockets and held it over the expecting documents as he pronounced the old oath:
"I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby allow this to become the first episode of our massive group collaboration, the—what are we calling it this time?"
"Crisis Management. Fitting, isn't it?"
"Crisis Management it is, then!" Koshi Rikdo cried, slamming the seal on the documents.
*STAMP!*
The night was slightly chilly outside, but not really dark; a huge full moon shone in the sky with silvery splendor. The city streets were mostly lonely and peaceful, which goes to show how much of a fantasy fanfic this is, since there is no way frickin' a major Japanese city in the near future is ever going to be that way at any hour with so many people living there, but I digress.
The young man was sitting near the window, gazing forlornly at the sleeping city outside.
"Fuck this…" he sighed deeply to himself, scratching his head full of short, messy black hair with a hand. "I'm penniless, dateless, and hungry on a Saturday night at the prime of my life, alone in a miserable boarding house smelly of rancid pizza and full of gay magazines. My life sucks…" He kicked an issue of 'Big Manly Muscles Monthly' aside. "Dammit, Tamiya, why must you leave your sick things everywhere!"
He leaned forward against the window and whined, while his stomach roared in protest. "Okay, screw this. I don't care if I'm left without money for tomorrow, but at least I'll eat something tonight!"
He stood up and walked to the phone, unburying it from under a pile of dirty socks of his roommates, whose smell kept the cockroaches away from the place. "Hello?" he made a call. "Mario and Luigi's Pizza Parlor? Morisato Keiichi here again…"
"You have reached the Goddess Relief Service System," an impossibly sweet and lovely voice replied from the other side of the line. "Wait only a second, please. We'll be there shortly to help you…"
The young student blinked, confused. "Mr. Luigi?" he babbled. "Don't tell me you had the operation made on you at last…"
But then, something else took him by surprise. The big mirror hanging from the nearby wall, the same one that Tamiya and Ootaki used to flex off in front of wearing nothing but Speedos, started to glow in a ghostly eerie light. "YIPE!" Morisato jumped away. "Oh, no! That Reiko Mikami woman on TV *WAS* right! Ghouls and ghosts *ARE* invading our mortal realm!"
Then, to his complete amazement, a head popped out of the mirror. An absolutely perfect, lovely face, of big and clear blue eyes and pink lips, flawless skin, topped by a long mane of light brown, almost blonde silky hair. Followed by a long, graceful neck, a slim, curvaceous body full of health and life, and long, slender legs.
Keiichi's mouth trembled and was left dry as he eyed the apparition with huge black eyes, backing away into a corner. "Wh-What…" he stammered. "Wh-What the hey…"
The woman smiled gently at him, floating down to land in front of the man. "Good evening. Enchanted to meet you, Morisato Keiichi. I am Belldandy, First Category Goddess, Unlimited. I am here to make your wishes reality!"
Keiichi pointed an extremely shaking finger at her, cleared his throat, and finally managed to yell, "Naked! Wh-why are you… n-n-naked?!"
"Huh?" she looked down at herself. She was wearing absolutely nothing but the rich, golden earrings on her, duh, ears. Other than that, her completely exposed divine body was fully shown to him, including the pink nipples over the creamy white skin of her perfectly shaped, not too big, not too small, round breasts, and the small patch of silvery pubic hair over her pinkish vagina. "Is anything of the matter with it?" she innocently asked.
"Woman! Naked! In! Male Dormitory! Doesn't compute!" Keiichi screamed vehemently, eyes out of their orbits by now.
"Oh, I'm not just any woman," she almost laughed, waving a hand to ease him, which failed miserably. "I told you, I'm a Goddess, and from where I come, there is no need for such primitive, base and lowly things as the ones you call clothes. Now listen carefully, please. The System I work for found you worthy of having a wish granted. Any wish your heart may desire, but a single one, no refunds or devolutions accepted, so be careful with what you pick. If you want, I can suggest you to—"
"NO, NO, WAIT!" he pleaded, sweating bullets, while trying to hide the erection growing and growing on his pants due to such a dreamy sight. "What kinda joke is this?! You're another of the girls Tamiya's mom sends to 'set him straight', right?"
"No, no, no," she replied, never losing her patience. "I told you, I came for you and only for you, Keiichi-san. This is no joke, no dream, no hoax, no imaginary story. Our program guarantees you one hundred percent of satisfaction, one hundred percent free. There's no need to give us your soul, material belongings, family members or pets in exchange for it, although we wouldn't reject them either if you are graceful enough as to offer them. If you want to become a millionaire, we can do that. If you want to murder millions of people, we can do it as well, although we usually make no deals with that sort of clients… we learned our lesson after that Hitler affair…"
"No… joke?" Keiichi babbled like a complete imbecile. "For really real? ANY wish I may have?"
"Yes, anything," she smiled again, wonderfully splendid. "As long as it doesn't involve getting the job of our Boss Himself for you, naturally. In that case, we'll just, as you Earthlings are often fond to say, kick your ass."
"Uhhh… You don't need to worry about that," he said. "As a matter of fact, I'm not too ambitious," he sighed, and rolled his eyes back, drooling a bit. "To be honest, all I wish is I could have a really kind and hot girl with no hang-ups whatsoever like you living with me forever…"
Then he paused, noticing that, as a matter of fact, he had just made his wish. And with that, Belldandy started to levitate wrapped in a blinding white light, creating a huge tornado and a loud boom around herself. It blew up a gigantic hole in the residence's old rooftop, and left it all in an utterly messed up state. That is, slightly better than it had been before.
When it all passed and Keiichi regained his eyesight, he found himself in the floor, with a large fat bump on his head, and the still naked goddess smiling standing over him. "It is done!" she cheerfully announced. Your wish has been accepted by our Network! From now on, I'll be your kind and hot devoted lover with absolutely no hang-ups forever!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?!" Keiichi turned to stone for a moment. "It ca-can't be! This kinda things only happens in bad hentai and lemon fics! Uh, not that I've ever read any of those, of course, but…"
He stopped when he noticed Belldandy avidly reading one of Tamiya's magazines, now ignoring him.
"My, oh my!" she chirped. "And you are a man of varied tastes too, I see, Keiichi-san. Not that I can blame you; these look so good… Why, this one's penis is almost as big as my master Celestine's…"
"T-THEY AREN'T MINE!" Morisato protested, blushing up to the points of his ears. "They are of a roommate of mine, I swear!"
"Oh, really?" she actually looked cutely disappointed, before carefully putting the magazine aside, after marking an especially interesting centerfold page, of course. "My, what a shame… I like open-minded people the best. But anyway, I'm sure we'll be very happy together, Keiichi-san!" she beamed another lovable smile at him.
"Y-Yes, well, about that…" he gulped, before she rushed to him with surprising speed and hugged him tightly against her fragrant, soft body, wrapping her arms around his upper body as she kissed him in the lips with amazing passion. Keiichi's erection pulsed, the blood pumping through it as his heart raced in his chest. "M-Miss Belldandy…" he tried to speak into her mouth, just to feel her tongue sneaking into, rubbing his own tongue, and he threw all cautions to the wind.
He put both hands on her naked asscheeks, feeling the warm, silky soft flesh of her ass, and pushed her further against himself. As he did so, she ripped the white T-shirt off his chest and threw it to the floor. Her hands massaged his scrawny chest, just as he became adventurous and tentatively put a finger inside her anus, making her to yelp.
"I-I'm sorry!" he backed away, scared by her exclamation. "I d-don't know whatever came to me! I regret doing it! Please, don't summon your divine powers to end with my miserable life! Mercy!"
"Huh?" she blinked, honestly clueless about his abrupt outburst. "What are you talking about, Keiichi-san?"
"Aren't you… angry with me about that?" he asked in a tiny, still scared squeak of a voice.
"Why, of course not, Keiichi-san," she replied. "I was just startled, that's all…" Then she suspected something, "Let me guess. Keiichi-san has never been with a woman before, has he?"
He blushed even more now, and fumbled nervously. "We-well, I… made a few experiments with one once, but she kicked me out when I tried that with her… Since then, no woman has ever given me a chance… since I'm so short, weak and poor…"
"Oh, poor, poor Keiichi-san," she softly cooed hugging him again, and kissing him in the forehead in an almost motherly way. "You have suffered so much… But don't worry, Belldandy is here for you now. Now simply relax and enjoy the ride…" she seductively invited.
He nodded quietly as she undid his pants and lowered them and his boxer shorts to the floor, then made him to kick them away. Then she knelt down in front of him and caressed his dick with long, fine playful fingers, making him to shiver, especially when she also fondled his balls and put the point of his penis into her warm mouth, giving it a few licks. He shuddered, then grabbed her head for support. "Ohhh… Belldandy…" he moaned.
She knew he wouldn't last long if he was indeed a virgin, so she decided to move it to the next step quick before he came. Belldandy rose up again, then pushed him down against the floor to lie on his back. She crawled over him, and gave his right ear a few loving licks. "Now, Keiichi-san…" she whispered, "don't panic, just let me to set the pace. Okay?"
"Whatever you say!" he was fast to answer.
"Good," she approved, then grabbed his rock hard dick again and guided it to her vaginal opening. She calculated the right moment for it, then pushed the pulsing meat inside of her love canal, making him to gasp hard. He instinctively grabbed onto Belldandy's shapely hips for support, then attracted her towards himself, sinking more and more of his length inside her.
"Aaaaa… aaaaaaa…" she moaned, throwing her head back a bit.
"Feels… so goooooood…" he also moaned, as she started to pump her hips up and down, setting the pace for their lovemaking as she had promised. They both kissed wildly as they fucked for the next few minutes, their hands roaming all over each other's bodies. Belldandy was surprised; this young human was a novice, yet he had the passion and spirit needed to make her to take notice. Satisfied, she started to work towards her climax, fingering her solid clit while he fucked her, screaming her name for the neighbors to hear.
Soon, Belldandy came, drenching his cock with her pussy juice, and one minute after that he pumped hard, grunting, one final time before unloading his sperm inside of her canal. First one thick rope of his seed, then another one, and another, and another, causing her to shudder.
When it all was over, she sighed deeply and relaxed down lying on his chest, giving him a small peck on one cheek. "Not bad for a first time," she cooed.
"B-but…" he hesitated, wrapping his arms around her, "Wh-what if you get pregnant because of that?"
"I hope it's a baby girl then…" she simply sighed as she closed her eyes, cradling her head on his neck. "I have no younger brothers, so I don't know how to handle little boys…"
"Uhhh…" Keiichi sweatdropped, right before the front door flew open and a gigantic mass of tanned muscle entered in, followed by a blonde punk in leathers and several other young men with messy, loser looks.
"YO, MORISATO!" The leading man bellowed, stepping inside. "Didja take our calls an' cleaned da toilet like we—". Then he froze in abject horror.
From the floor, the naked Belldandy, lying on the naked, blushing Keiichi, smiled weakly at them.
"MORISATOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tamiya howled at the top of his lungs, crying sudden streams of tears. "HOW COULDJA DO DIS TO US! YA KNOW DA RULES, TREACHEROUS WORM! NO… WIMMEN IN DIS SACRED HOUSE O' VIRILITY!"
"B-But I can explain it, Sempai!" Keiichi yelped. "This is only a… uh… transsexual… he used to be Mr. Luigi from the pizza parlor! He's not a real woman! Honest!"
"SHADDAP, BETRAYER!" Tamiya then swung a huge fist into his face, and the whole world became black…
"Ow. Ow, ow, o wow," Keiichi complained as he rolled down the front stairs, still as naked as a jaybird, until he finally stopped when he hit the sidewalk. The sempais then threw some luggage on him, and then they added Belldandy to the pile on top of him. Keiichi weakly squirmed under the weight as they closed the door behind them, and Tamiya screamed from the window,
"WHEN YOU HAVE A NEW ADDRESS, SEND US YUR DIRECTION AND WE'LL SEND DA REST O'YUR CRAP TO YA! MEANWHILE, DROP DEAD, MORISATO!" And he closed the window as well to collapse crying on Ootaki the punk's comforting arms, sobbing loudly, "How could he do dis to me! He knew I loved 'im! He mustave known!"
"Oh my…" Belldandy blinked, then fished a gay magazine out of the luggage. "At least I got to save this one…"
"Now without a roof over our heads…" Keiichi sobbed, putting on some pants and shirt quickly before the cops came and arrested him. "What will we do now, without a single yen to my name…?"
"Oh, there's no need to be afraid about that, Keiichi-san," Belldandy pointed out cheerfully. "I know of a place where we can stay for the night and even a few days more, totally free!"
"Seriously?" the human looked hopeful.
"Ah-hah!" Bell nodded, flipping through the magazine's pages, still not making any effort to cover herself. "There's nothing to be worried about! Shimpai Muyo!"
"Belldandy, you're wonderful!" he grinned, then added hopefully, "And then, we can fuck again?"
"We can do it right here and now if you want…" she looked up at him again, somehow managing to look and sound casually innocent about it.
He sweatdropped once more. "I'd prefer to do it away from the public stares…"
Half an hour later, his motorcycle stopped in front of an old temple at the top of a hill in a nearby green valley, overlooking a huge lake of clear waters. Belldandy had insisted on staying nude, since she apparently hated clothing; Keiichi had tried to convince her otherwise, but the first surprisingly hostile glare he got from her when he pushed in on the matter convinced him to desist. Finally, she agreed to at least cover herself with and old blanket as she traveled in his bike's sidecar.
With that big blanket still covering her, she stepped down and signaled towards the temple, smiling so sweetly once again. "Here it is. Let's go in, Keiichi-san!"
"Um, are you sure about this, Belldandy?" he asked. "I mean, looks like it's still inhabited, and—"
He had to run after her then, since she had started to walk up the long stairs to the temple without him. "Hey, wait! I'm coming, I'm coming!"
She stopped in front of the front door and gently knocked on it. Moments after that, a tall old man dressed as a traditional Shinto priest, with long white-gray hair and glasses, opened the door and looked at both of them.
"Yes?" he asked. "Good evening, miss, young man. What do you want here so late in the night?"
"Good evening to you too, Masaki Katsuhito-sama," Belldandy smiled, politely bowing in front of him. "I am Belldandy, and this is my fiancée, Morisato Keiichi-san. We have just lost our home, and we came to beg you for a place in your temple, please."
"What?" the old man arched his eyebrows in disbelief. "Uh, of course, it is a priest's sacred duty to help others, but shouldn't you—"
"Please, Masaki-sama…" she cooed in the same pleading tone that Keiichi already knew well, and much to both men's surprises, she allowed the blanket to fall down gracefully, slipping down the stairs and into the forest carried away by the breeze, standing now totally naked again in front of the priest, exciting him to no end. "Please… we will pay your kindness the best way we can…"
Masaki Katsuhito blinked once, then twice, and slowly nodded. Then he grabbed Belldandy by a hand and pulled her inside, closing the door tightly right after the confused Keiichi followed inside, still not giving credit to his ears and eyes.
Belldandy grabbed Katsuhito's face between her soft hands and pulled it to her own, kissing him with wild abandon on his mouth, with Keiichi watching on in stupor.
That was… just baffling to him. Hadn't she promised she'd be his? HIS? Then why was she now shamelessly flirting with that old man, offering herself to him? It was outrageous. It was unacceptable! It was… strangely exciting!
He watched on, amazed, getting hard once more, how Belldandy, slowly, teasingly, stripped the priest down, and then massaged his still long and hard old cock guiding it to her pink opening. Meanwhile, she looked back at the young man and winked an eye at him, inviting him again. Nodding, the too-stimulated to care Morisato stripped down and stood behind her, pushing his cock in a test against her anus, as the old man began to fuck her standing, kissing all of her lovely face time and time again, licking her cheeks, while his big hands traveled all across her back, caressing her long cascade of hair.
"Nnnghh!" Keiichi finally pushed himself inside of her tight rectum, astonished about how well did it feel. Bell just yelped at first (lack of anal lubrication was always a real bitch), but she pretty soon got over it and began a rhythm with Katsuhito fucking him in the pussy and Keiichi in her ass.
"Oh yes…" she panted, moving her hips back and forth between both of them. "More… more… much more…"
Finally, the old man unloaded inside of her, and Keiichi followed suit moments after that. Belldandy moaned in delight, feeling herself pressed between both hot male bodies…
The morning after, Keiichi woke up to find himself in a futon, laying next to Belldandy, who slept embraced to him as a just as naked as them Katsuhito stayed awake laying at her other side. She looked so sweet, so innocent, sleeping confidently there, despite all what they had done with her last night…
Keiichi was brought back from his confused thoughts when the old man cleared his throat standing up, walking to pick up a bamboo broom and throwing it at Keiichi's hands. He picked it up, blinking.
"Wha-?" he began to say, still dazed, sitting up and making Bell to groan, still half sleep herself.
"Well, you two can stay here for as long as you want, young man," the Masaki man spoke, "You have convinced me of the… ahem… sincerity of your intentions. But even so, this place won't clean itself, you know. While you are staying here, I am hoping for you to help with the tasks at hand…"
"Isn't it wonderful, Keiichi-san…?" Belldandy sat up, yawning with natural, never overdone sensuality. "I told you we had nothing to worry about… That I would take care of everything…"
"Yes… of everything…" he nodded, gulping down. Now what had he stepped into?
"Well, I'm going to make breakfast now" Belldandy announced while standing up. "After taking a bath, of course. Ne, Keiichi-san, Katsuhito-sama, do you want to bathe with me…?"
And so, a new stage in Morisato Keiichi's life and the history of bad lemons started! And like Tiny Tim, I mean, Vash the Stampede would say, "LOVE AND PEACE TO ALL GOOD PEOPLE ON EARTH!"
To be Continued.