Mutual Thoughts by darrenbanana
Kurt and Blaine were lying on Blaine's bed on their backs next to each other, staring at the ceiling. The silence was going unnoticed by both parts, as they had been talking for two hours. Both of their minds were so filled up with their conversation that they could barely tell what was uttered and what was kept in their heads. The funny thing is, though, that it didn't matter. That's how comfortable they were. Blaine finally did notice the silence, though, and he wondered to himself how long it had been going on. Whether Kurt was asleep. He found himself missing the sound of Kurt's voice.
As if on cue, Kurt started talking again.
"I don't want to think about what I will be missing," he said. "I kind of… I mean, what I'm going to do is amazing. New York, Blaine. How many people get that opportunity?"
He turned his head to look at Blaine. Blaine met his gaze. Kurt's eyes were that pale blue, his lips were pursed. He was still deep in thought, not thinking about the way they looked lying like that. He wasn't in the same, comfortable mood Blaine had come into during their silence. Blaine didn't answer. He knew Kurt hadn't finished his thought yet.
"Still, I have these moments where I just wish I could go back, just a few years," Kurt said. "When I feel like my life here isn't over yet."
Blaine felt a painful stab in his chest. They both knew it wasn't. Blaine was still going to be here.
Still, they didn't mention it. They both knew what Kurt leaving felt like to their relationship. They'd agreed that it was going to be a painful year for the most part, but in a few years, looking back on it, it would just hurt so good, because they would have managed through it. Not many couples do. Kurt and Blaine weren't like other couples, though.
Blaine rolled over to rest his head on Kurt's shoulder, splaying out one of his legs over Kurt's, entwining them and making himself small when Kurt's arm stretched out and curled around Blaine's back, pulling him closer. Blaine scattered kisses over Kurt's jawline and neck contentedly, closing his eyes sleepily. Kurt's other hand moved to connect with Blaine's on top of his stomach.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
They'd started saying it a lot more lately, as if that was the thing they'd miss doing. It was weird, because they would still be able to say it, to utter the words and type them, for the entirety of the coming year, but they still felt like they needed to say it all the time. What they should do more was enjoy times like this, when it was just the two of them and they could show exactly that, but with their bodies and actions. However, they said it all the time now, whenever they ended a phone call. The thing was, that when the moment came to say it now, it was so mutual. Maybe it was just the emotional peak of it, the way you had the entire package. Body contact, eye contact… Even their thoughts seemed connected in this moment.
Kurt looked down on Blaine then, really seeing him now, the way Blaine had felt when Kurt had broken the silence. Blaine could tell, because his eyes stayed on Blaine's for a long moment before he began staring at his lips. Blaine loved looking at Kurt, looking at him. It was one of his favorite expressions of Kurt, alongside the Kurt that wasn't aware that anyone was watching him. The looks were similar, really. Kurt didn't seem too self-conscious right now. He probably thought Blaine was just gazing at him, just as calmly as he was gazing at him.
Kurt looked up from Blaine's lips then, and his face scrunched up into a smile. They were looking at each other more consciously now, because the mood between them shifted. Blaine smiled back. They were both aware of the silence now. Blaine moved upwards a little and kissed Kurt's lips sweetly. Kurt's eyes fluttered shut and the hand he'd kept on Blaine's on his stomach cupped Blaine's jaw instead. He moved them so that he was half-lying on top of Blaine, pressing his head into the mattress with the sole force of the kiss. Blaine tried to match it, but he sensed that Kurt was becoming more desperate for touch now.
Kurt's tongue began sliding against Blaine's bottom lip, so he opened his mouth and let it in, kissing back wetly. Kurt pulled back, and Blaine sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbows before Kurt went in for another kiss. Kurt's hand clutched tightly at Blaine's side, and Blaine suddenly became very aware of the heat beneath it. He whimpered against Kurt's lips, feeling himself grow hard.
Kurt moved his hand to lie on Blaine's stomach, then slid down to brush over the obvious bulge that was formed, straining against his jeans. Kurt let his hand flatten out against it, adjust around it and feel the outline of Blaine's cock. Blaine gasped. Kurt broke the kiss and looked down as he opened the button and pulled down the zipper. He still seemed so curious about the way Blaine looked without clothes on, and after the initial self-consciousness he used to feel about it, he'd grown to find it arousing. It was a part of their sex life now, Kurt just feeling Blaine, looking, touching, mapping him out. Blaine rested his head back on the mattress as Kurt dipped his hand into his underwear, squeezing over his cock. Blaine's breath hitched in his throat.
Kurt sat up on the bed then, straddling Blaine's legs, and looked up at Blaine. Blaine just bucked his hips up to help Kurt wiggle down his jeans along with his boxers, scattering them somewhere in the room. Blaine lay back down and Kurt's hand roamed over his thighs, again just looking down on his hard, straining dick as if it was brand new. Blaine almost chuckled at the thought, but hadn't time to before Kurt's hand was around it again, moving up and down and making his muscles clench and his breath come out scattered.
"You're beautiful," Kurt said, eyes on Blaine's.
The sight of him sitting there, fully dressed, moving his hand up and down his cock while just looking up at him with those seeing eyes made Blaine's hips stutter upwards desperately as he at the same time felt a tug at his heart, one that connected him further to the boy in control on top of him. Kurt seemed to have the same reaction, because when he leaned down to close his lips around the head of Blaine's cock his fingers entwined with Blaine's on the bed. Blaine's eyes screwed shut. Kurt's tongue slid wetly over the head before his mouth sunk down tightly. He bobbed rhythmically in time with his other hand closing around the base and meeting his lips in the middle of Blaine's long, thick cock. Blaine couldn't keep from whimpering, thrashing restlessly on the bed at the feeling.
Kurt went faster, causing throaty, wet sounds to erupt during the motion. The sound was downright dirty and absolutely lovely. Blaine's hand clutched tighter at Kurt's as he tried hard to keep his hips from moving. He couldn't keep still, not really, not when Kurt went even faster, and the orgasm wasn't far away.
"I'm- I'm so close, baby," Blaine babbled. "Yes, just like that. Yeah… Please, just like that."
Kurt seemed appreciative of the praise. He started bobbing down with a new-found energy, even though his jaw must have been starting to feel strained. Blaine moaned, not able to find words anymore before Kurt pulled back with a loud pop that filled the silence of the room, alongside Blaine's whimpers and the subtle rustling of the sheets. Kurt's hand was still moving though, and that was what pushed Blaine over that glorious edge between desperate, almost the point of painful arousal to utter bliss, to those few seconds of muscles clenching and unclenching perfectly as come shot out of him onto Kurt's hand. His eyes closed harshly, his jaw was slack and his eyebrows furrowed.
Kurt made a small sound before moving up to him again, kissing him all over his neck, cheeks, jaw, mouth. Their hands were still connected as Kurt pulled out his own cock, quickly touching himself to the point of release and his mouth went slack against Blaine's, whimpering. Blaine found the sensation so beautiful, having come so good just seconds ago and now having his boyfriend experiencing the same sensation on top of him. Kurt slumped down next to him, snaking an arm around his waist and pulling him close.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Blaine wasn't sure if the words were uttered or not, and in this moment, it didn't matter. They both felt it. They both thought it. And if they had to spend a year apart to prove it, then so be it.
A year was nothing compared with forever.