Disclaimer: I don't own PLL or any of it's characters. Oh how I wish I did though.

White.

Everything was so white.

Too white.

The walls, the sheets, the faces of the people as their loved ones got wheeled into a room. Looks of despair and hopelessness dancing in their crushed features, feelings Hanna could sympathize with. Everything was so unnerving in this white world, and Hanna didn't know how much longer she could go before she snapped.

For white was a color of death in this white world. A white blanket over a lifeless person, a white piece of paper containing a will, the white flowers concerned friends and family members would send to help console and make sense of what had happened. But no one could make sense of death. Anyone who tried to justify the brevity of life on Earth and the all too consuming afterlife would simply go mad in this white asylum of a world.

Hanna sat with her face in her hands, a voice in the back of her head telling her that this was her fault. It was her fault that Caleb had succumbed to this white world. And she would have to live with this guilt and permanent heart break for the rest of her life if he didn't make it out. So she prayed. She prayed silently that God would not take the one person in the world that mattered, away from her. In the back of her mind, Hanna knew it was a long shot. Her conversations with God in the past had been few and far between, and now she was asking him the biggest favor of all. She shook her head and peeked around the white waiting room, not knowing what she was searching for.

"Hanna Marin?" A doctor in a floor length white lab coat walked into the waiting room, snapping Hanna out of her thoughts. Hanna was alone, Ashley Marin was picking up some coffee for her. Coffee that Hanna would refuse profusely. There was only one thing she needed right now, and she wouldn't find it poured in a cheap coffee cup.

"Y-yes," Hanna had to clear her throat, she hadn't spoken a word since she saw him getting wheeled into the ambulance. Worry, heart break, and most of all, guilt, had taken over Hanna's soul. In the hours she had been waiting in the white hospital waiting room a gaping hole had formed in her body. Only one person could complete her once more. And she knew it was her fault that the one person in the world she loved more than anything was lying on his death bed right now.

"Caleb Rivers is your boyfriend, correct?" The doctor ran her eyes over Hanna's crumbling body and immediately softened her business-like features. This girl was suffering badly. She watched Hanna nod, tears springing to her eyes. "I'm Doctor Smith. We couldn't get a hold of Caleb's primary emergency contact, his mother in Montecito, and you are his secondary one."

Hanna nodded again, swallowing a threatening lump in her throat. "P-please, Doctor Smith, tell me he's okay." A solitary tear ran down her cheek as she heard Caleb tell her he loved her for the last time over the phone, his voice from that moment echoing in her brain. She might not ever hear those words from him again. She might not see his smile, or feel his burning, passionate touch. She might never smell his musky, familiar scent or hear his melodic laugh. And it was all her fault.

"Take a walk with me, Miss Marin," Doctor Smith put her arm around Hanna and guided her down the white hall. Hanna began shaking, and more tears began streaming down her cheeks. The doctor's face was unreadable. Was Caleb alright or not? "Your boyfriend, Mr. Rivers, was shot in his left abdomen-"

The harshness of the word shot caused Hanna to shudder.

"-this is quite lethal, you see, as his wound breeds close to the heart, spleen, stomach and intestines. The gunshot was far enough away from the heart, however, that it wasn't too much of a concern for us. His spleen and stomach, however, were in grave danger. His small intestine was also in jeopardy, but not as gravely as the spleen and stomach. Let me tell you, Miss Marin, this was one of the most articulate and difficult surgeries I've ever had to perform. There were times where I wasn't sure Mr. Rivers was going to make it-"

"Just tell me if he's alive or not!" Hanna screeched, realizing the following moment after screaming at the doctor that had just potentially saved her boyfriend's life that she had, indeed, snapped. The white world had crushed her, and the doctor's gibberish meant nothing to her. All she needed to know was if Caleb was alright. If his heart still had a beat. That's all.

Doctor Smith smiled empathetically at Hanna. She patted her back as they came to a stop in front of what Hanna guessed was Caleb's room. "Mr. Rivers survived the surgery, but is in a medically induced coma right now because of all the drugs we've put him on. It's the only way for his system to start the healing process."

Hanna wiped a tear from her eye. "B-but he's going to wake up, right?"

"Since we removed the bullet successfully and stitched him up, there is a good chance he could wake up in an hour or in a week, sometimes even a month. But medically induced comas are tricky. Some patients don't want to wake up."

Some patients don't want to wake up. The words bounced around in Hanna's mind. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"What...what are you saying?" Hanna felt her throat tightening up, the threatening lump causing her eyes to water over once more. She couldn't read Doctor Smith's features through her blurry vision anymore.

"I'm saying, Miss Marin, that some patients meet death and realize how much better it is than life."

A sob ripped from Hanna's chest as the reality of it all hit her with a consuming force. Caleb might not ever wake up. Ever. "C-can I g-go in there and see h-him?" Hanna choked out in between sobs. She saw Doctor Smith nod her head slowly, and Hanna immediately turned on her heels and opened the door, not prepared whatsoever to see Caleb for the first time since the scene of the crime.

Stillness.

Everything was so still.

Too still.

Hanna closed the door to Caleb's room gently behind herself and was immediately taken off guard by the stillness of the room. The window blinds were unmoving. The television that would normally add some noise and excitement was off. The air hung, placid, in the atmosphere. Her eyes searched this still room briefly before landing on Caleb. When they did land on Caleb, Hanna's legs suddenly buckled underneath her. She fell to the ground, the sobs consuming her body and triumphing over her soul. Cries of desperation ripped from her chest as she somehow got to her feel again and shakily moved over to the chair placed beside Caleb's bed before collapsing in it. Her eyes scanned over his body, taking in every inch, every scar. His toned chest was still bare, most likely to let the stitch breathe as Wren had instructed her a few weeks earlier for the glass wound in her leg. His limbs were still, and Hanna had to stare at his chest, moving up and down in a slow breathing motion, to make sure he was still alive. She tried to avoid looking at his face, for when she took the time to stare at the face she had come to love more than anything in the world, she wouldn't be able to control her tears. So instead, she took hold of his cold, still hand and kissed it, lingering her lips there and drawing in his familiar scent. He had to wake up. He had to. Hanna didn't know how she would survive if he didn't.

"Hanna?" The sound of her mother's voice came up from behind her and shocked Hanna out of her sobbing state. Unwilling to let go of Caleb's hand, Hanna turned her torso towards her mother, trying to fight back the tears as her mother rushed over to her, coffee cup in hand, and hugged her fiercely.

"Is he going to be okay?" Ashley asked, tears surprisingly springing to her own eyes as she watched her daughter grip onto Caleb's hand as if her life depended on it. Her daughter had found a more true, pure, powerful love than she ever had, and despite their current predicament, that made her happy.

"He's in a-a medically induced coma," Hanna answered through her tears. "The doctor said there's a good chance that he'll live, but...but..." Hanna closed her eyes and leaned her face into Caleb's hand, her salty tears dampening the cold limb.

"But what, honey?" Ashley pulled up another chair beside her daughter and set the coffee cup on the table behind them. She rubbed soothing circles on her daughter's back as her heart slowly cracked watching her daughter be in pain.

"They said that sometimes the patient doesn't want to wake up from the coma," Hanna lifted her head from Caleb's hand and kissed it once more. "He has to wake up, mom! He has to!" Hanna cried helplessly, her eyes finally landing on his face. A look of peacefulness was etched into his beautiful features. His lips were curled up in a small smile. His eyes were relaxed. He looked...heavenly.

And just like that, a wave of dread rushed through Hanna. This is not what she wanted. This is what she had feared the most.

What if Caleb didn't want to come back?

Hanna walked into school, wearing a pale pink dress to commemorate the day all single people loathed and all loving couples adored. It was Valentine's Day, and although she hadn't heard from Caleb yet that morning, Hanna hadn't lost faith that he had something planned in that little scheming mind of his. His gift she made him was wrapped and securely placed in her bag. She made her way to her locker, walking past couples kissing and single people rolling their eyes, keeping on lookout for Caleb. But he was nowhere to be seen as she approached her locker.

"Maybe he forgot," Hanna muttered to herself as she opened her locker. A single piece of paper fell to the ground as her locker door opened. She bent down and picked up the paper, and found herself grinning widely as she instantly recognized the handwriting on the sheet.

I hope you don't mind skipping school today. I have something special planned. Meet me in the quad.

I love you, Hanna
Caleb

Ps. Bring the rose.

Hanna looked back into her locker and saw a single red rose resting on top of her functions textbook. Taking the rose and sniffing it briefly, Hanna excitedly closed her locker and quickly made her way to the quad. When she got there, her already huge grin widened as she saw Caleb, standing with eleven roses gripped in his hand. She broke out into a sprint and jumped into his awaiting arms, feeling herself get lifted off the ground and spun around.

"Happy Valentines Day, Princess," Caleb whispered huskily in her ear, using his nickname for her from when they were still getting to know each other. He set her down and took her face in his hands, kissing her with all of the passion he contained for her.

"I love you," Hanna whispered as their lips parted. Caleb smiled and leaned his forehead against Hanna's, kissing her nose gently.

"I love you more."

"Hanna. Hanna, honey."

Hanna awoke to the sound of her name and to her mother rubbing her shoulder. She groggily lifted her head from where it was resting on the side of Caleb's bed and automatically checked to see if he had woken up.

No such luck.

"What time is it?" Hanna moaned, leaning her head back down on the bed.

"It's three am, it's time for you to go home and get some rest. And food. And a shower."

Hanna narrowed her eyes accusingly at her mother. "If you think I'm leaving Caleb's side, you're completely deluded."

Ashley sighed. "Hanna..."

"No, mom, don't even try to convince me, okay?" Hanna's eyes locked on Caleb's still, peaceful face. "How would you feel if it was me lying in that bed?"

"Okay," Ashley heaved a sigh once more. "Are you okay here, though? I'm going to go home 'till morning."

Hanna looked back at her mom. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I need to stay with him."

Ashley nodded and kissed her daughter on the top of her head. "I understand. I love you, sweetheart. See you in the morning."

"I love you too, mom." Hanna smiled a small smile at her mother as she left the room. Turning her attention back to Caleb immediately after they were left alone, another wave of sadness washed over Hanna.

"Caleb," she heard herself say, the words she had been wanting to say to him suddenly rushing out, "I love you...I love you so much. I don't...I don't think you realize how much I love you. A-and I want you to know that I'm sorry," A tear ran down Hanna's cheek, followed by a flow of them. "I'm sorry for getting you involved in this A stuff, I'm sorry for kissing Wren, who I have absolutely no feelings for, I'm sorry for...for falling in love with you and turning your life into this," Hanna rubbed circles into his hand with her thumbs as she inhaled a shaky breath. "I'm so, so sorry, Caleb," she cried, a crushing sob ripping from her chest, "But I need to ask something of you. Don-don't let go, okay?" She chewed her bottom lip, her eyes intent on his closed ones. "Keep fighting. Because I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you. I-I don't know how."

The sobs overtook Hanna's body as she laid her head back into his hand as she had done before. And she wept. She wept for Caleb. She wept for herself. She wept for Emily and Paige and Maya, and even Alison. She wept for the kiss she had denied him of in her bedroom earlier that fateful day. All she yearned for now was his lips to be pressed against hers, her heart beating in time with his. She wept for what felt like an eternity. And she would have kept crying like this if it wasn't for the slight movement she detected in the hand she had been gripping onto for dear life for the past six hours.

"H...Hanna?"

Hanna froze. Did he just...was he...?

"Hanna, baby, what's wrong?"

Hanna's head snapped up at the sound of his husky voice. It was groggy and he tried to clear his throat, wincing at the pain that came with his attempted cough.

"Oh my God," Hanna said breathlessly, tears pouring down her cheeks as she stared into his chocolate brown orbs, momentarily losing herself in them as she had thousands of times in the past. Then, suddenly, she was hugging him and his strong, warm arms were wrapped tightly around her torso.

"I can't believe you're alive," Hanna choked out. "I was s-so afraid you weren't going to make it. This is all my fault." Hanna's tears were warm on Caleb's temple. He liked how it felt.

"Hey," he whispered in her ear, remembering every moment of that night with the most extreme clarity. "I would do it again, if it meant keeping you safe."

Hanna was at a loss for words. She lifted her head from where it was resting against his temple and caressed his face with the softest of touches. They stared lovingly into each other's eyes, not needing to say the words each one knew was in the other's heart.

"Come here," Caleb patted the bed beside him and scooted over slowly, his side in slight pain. Hanna, tears still dripping silently down her cheeks, climbed onto the bed beside him and breathed the first sigh of relief in what felt like years as he engulfed his protective arms around her. She angled her head up towards his and, without saying a single word, kissed him. When she kissed him, she memorized and re-memorized the way his lips felt pressed against hers, the warmth they brought, the softness she felt. She would never take Caleb for granted again. As they parted she silently swore it, and as he kissed her nose just as he had on Valentine's Day, with tears of happiness in her eyes, she promised it.

"We were together," Caleb said suddenly, breaking the loving silence between the two of them. It was five in the morning, and neither of them had dared to move since Hanna had climbed onto Caleb's bed. They hadn't even alerted doctors that Caleb was awake. They needed time to just be with each other - their fast paced lifestyle with A hot on their tracks barely allowed for alone time anymore.

"What?" Hanna asked, shifting in Caleb's arms so she could look into his eyes. He was smiling, and infectiously Hanna began smiling along with him.

"When I was in the coma you said they put me in," Caleb tightened his arms around Hanna and kissed the top of her head, muttering into her hair, "we were together. On a beach, just laying with each other like we are now," He inhaled a deep breath, resting his cheek on the top of Hanna's head. "I didn't want to wake up."

Hanna suddenly froze. Doctor Smith's words before she went into Caleb's room suddenly bounced into her head. The lump that had been threatening in her throat while Caleb was in the coma instantly returned, and even though she knew he was alive and holding her and her fear was irrational, life without Caleb flashed before her eyes. Caleb noticed her change in demeanor.

"Hey," he moved a strand of hair from her eyes and took her delicate face in his hands, caressing her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

Hanna closed her eyes, trying to block from her memory the darkest moments where she thought she had lost Caleb forever. "One of the doctors was telling me that you...you may not wake up from the coma because, well, some people don't want to wake up," Hanna reopened her eye and gazed into Caleb's warm orbs. "I guess what you said hit a little close to home, that's all."

Caleb stared at Hanna wordlessly for a few long moments, his fingers lingering on her rosy cheeks. Hanna thought he was going to stare at her forever, but suddenly, he had pulled her tightly into his chest and was kissing her forehead, his lips moving to plant kisses all around her face.

"Do. You. Know. How. Much. I. Love. You?" Caleb spoke between kisses. Hanna giggled quietly under his touch, the fire and passion she felt for him burning brighter than ever before. She ducked her head under his chin and felt him rub soothing circles on her back. For a second, the fleeting thought that the fact that Caleb was the one who was shot and was comforting her seemed pretty messed up to Hanna, but in his arms, she couldn't seem to care. "Do you?" he prompted, his tone turning serious.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Hanna replied quietly, kissing his bare chest gently. She heard Caleb intake a deep breath, knowing he was ignoring her rhetorical question and preparing to speak for a little while.

"When I first saw you, I thought, wow, who is this girl?" Caleb smiled, reminiscing on the older days. "I remember looking into your eyes for the first time and literally forgetting how to breathe. I had never seen eyes like yours before," Caleb beamed just imagining them. "Such a brilliant blue. And I knew then."

Hanna felt tears springing to her eyes. These tears however, were tears of pure bliss and love. She inhaled a shaky breath. "Knew what?"

Caleb chewed on his bottom lip shyly. "That I was a goner. That I had to make you mine. You already had my heart." He smiled brilliantly. "I realized I loved you when we were sitting on the stairs at your house and you were crying about Aria being angry with you."

Hanna's eyes widened. "Oh God, I felt like an idiot crying in front of you like that!" She buried her face deeper into Caleb's chest to mask her embarrassment. "Can we change that moment?"

Caleb chuckled and rested his cheek on top of her soft blonde hair once more. "Nope, sorry."

Hanna's lips turned up into a curl as she stayed cuddled in Caleb's muscular, tanned arms. He had never quite poured his heart out to her like he was doing right now.

"Anyways," Caleb continued, "each day that passed, I fell deeper in love with you. When I was gone, when I was in Montecito, I was still falling more in love with you every day. I didn't know how to express myself when I first met you, Han. Hell, I could barely even tell you I loved you for the first time to your face!" He momentarily chuckled incredulously at how much things had changed, "And now look at me," Caleb paused only to kiss the top of Hanna's head. "I want you to listen to me when I say this, okay?"

Hanna stayed silent, wiping her tears.

"Han?" he whispered, his handsome voice warm and gentle, possessed by the limitless love he felt for her.

Hanna shifted so she was staring into his eyes. A fraction of Caleb's smile faltered as he saw the tears streaming down her face. Caressing them away softly and knowing he had her full attention, he continued.

"I want you to know that if I have the choice, I'll choose you, Han." Caleb felt tears forming in his eyes as he watched the tears endlessly pour from Hanna's. "Always you. It's always been you," As he felt Hanna's tears on his arm, a tear escaped his own eye at the thought of being without Hanna. "So that worry you were feeling...that pain," Caleb winced, imagining himself causing Hanna heartache, "you don't have to worry. I'm always going to be here with you." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, swallowing back the unexpected tears. "Always. I love you Hanna, more than you'll ever know."

Hanna inhaled shakily, her tears coming down in buckets. She gazed at Caleb's features, full of love, full of passion, and could barely find the words to speak. Before she could muster up the breath and the courage, Caleb was kissing her, his lips more fierce and dominating than before. As their lips tackled each other's in a quest for pure love and devotion, Hanna thought of how she would never find another like Caleb. Her undying love for him was the most rare and sacred thing imaginable. It was one in a million, the chances if Hanna finding a person who she loved and trusted with her life as honestly as she did with Caleb.

But there was one problem.

As they pulled apart for air, Caleb smiling and kissing her gently one last time, Wren echoed in the back of Hanna's mind. The guilt of kissing him, even though her and Caleb were broken up at the time, was stronger than ever before after Caleb's vulnerable, heart swelling confession. Knowing the only way to rid this guilt was to tell Caleb, Hanna sucked in a nervous breath and found herself speaking slowly, choosing her words carefully.

"Caleb...I need to tell you something." Hanna's bottom lip quivered as Caleb gazed innocently into her eyes, moving a strand of hair from her face.

"What, Han?" he asked, his voice filled with concern. Hanna hated how he looked so above suspicion. She didn't deserve the high esteem he clearly held her in his mind.

"I kissed Wren when we were broken up," A tear of shame escaped Hanna's eye as she watched Caleb process what she said. Pain, confusion, and anger all flashed through his features. Before he could speak, Hanna continued, her words hurried and desperate. "It was after I got Mona to stay in Radley, I was so happy and Wren just happened to be there and I...I kissed him. It was only a peck though and I regretted it immediately afterwards. It was crazy and stupid and meant absolutely nothing to me, and I'm so, so sorry." Hanna ran anxious hand through her hair as she anticipated Caleb's reaction. But his face was unnervingly still, his eyes unreadable. Hanna swallowed a lump in her throat, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

"Is this why you were always going to Radley when we were still together? To see Wren?" Caleb's voice was dripping with anguish, it's tone instantly crushing Hanna's heart as it reminded her of his voice when he broke up with her. Full of confusion and hurt. In that moment, as she watched a solitary tear slip down his cheek, Hanna truly hated herself.

"No! Of course not, Caleb," She frowned and frantically continued. "He just happened to be there and l...I don't know what I was thinking, but I knew it was wrong the moment it happened."

Caleb nodded slowly. "I guess this is my own fault. I shouldn't have even broken up with you in the first place. You had so much happening that I didn't understand-"

"No! Caleb," Hanna interrupted, placing a finger over his lips, "you're not allowed to blame this on yourself, just like you're not allowed to blame getting shot on yourself. This is completely my fault," Hanna sighed and removed her finger from his lips. She stared at her hands for a few moments, expecting anger and hatred when she looked back up at Caleb. But when she did, she found only warm love in his eyes, a small smile on his lips. Hanna felt more guilty than ever before. She shook her head and looked away, the disappointment she felt in herself burning. She didn't deserve to be looked at in such a way after what she had done. "Stop looking at me like that. Can't you get mad at me or something?"

Caleb lifted Hanna's chin with his index finger so he could look her in the eye. "No. You know why?"

Hanna sighed and shook her head.

"Because I love you. And because I can read you better than anyone else, and I know that you're truly sorry."

Hanna's bottom lip quivered as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and planted a lingering kiss on the nape of his neck. "Thank you. I love you so much, Caleb. I really am sorry." She sighed and pulled back, kissing his lips and knowing, in her heart, that she would be with Caleb for the rest of her life. And the thought was not intimidating. No, it was not some looming thought, dooming her life. The thought was entrancing, and Hanna couldn't wait to live the rest of her life with the one person whom she loved with all her heart, and by some miracle, loved her the same way.

"Just...do one thing for me, okay?" Caleb asked, his tone serious.

"Anything."

"Stay away from Wren," Caleb muttered his name with disgust. "Or anyone with an accent, actually. I can't compete with those dang British accents. And don't even get me started on Australian accents."

Hanna giggled quietly as she leaned in for another kiss. "There's no competition. It's you, Caleb. It's always been you." She echoed his words from earlier that night and grinned as Caleb, with a smile on his face, pulled her back down into his chest and engulfed her once more in the protection of his arms. They sat like this, in each other's arms, whispering sweet words of love and desire to each other for hours. If Hanna could wish for a heaven, it would be that.

"You know what's coming up soon?" Caleb said, checking the clock. It was almost seven am. Their alone time would soon be disrupted by the incoming nurses and family members and friends and doctors and specialists. His pain killers were starting to wear off and his side was in definite pain, but he didn't tell Hanna. Instead, he snuggled closer to her, soaking in these last few precious moments.

"What?"

"Our one year anniversary." Caleb broke out into a beaming smile. Hanna, although not able to see his face, mirrored Caleb's brilliant grin.

"You're right," she replied. "What do you want to do?"

Caleb bit back an even larger smile. "I've got something planned."

"Care to clue me in on what that plan is, Mister Rivers?" Hanna flirted, kissing his fingers.

"I think you'll just have to wait and be surprised, Miss Marin."

Chapter one is complete, yaaaay!
Thanks for reading this incredibly long opening chapter. You're awesome and I love you.
After watching the mid-season finale (which was so freakin' intense, holy crap) when Caleb got shot I literally had a breakdown and needed to write my take on what's going to happen when Hanna sees Caleb in the hospital room! I don't know if the writers for PLL will be so generous as to give us a scene in the hospital between Hanna and Caleb...I guess we'll just have to see.
Review if you'd like, reviews are awesome! Good and bad, I accept all!
Seeya for chapter 2! :)