Chakotay shook his head again. The problem was obvious – Alpha Flyer's power transformer had broken down for the final time and without a new one he was unable to get back in space. The dim and quiet shuttle bay he was currently in was the final stop on his journey – journey which had had no direction or purpose.

"I knew you were a piece of shit", Chakotay muttered while glaring the rough exterior of his ship, "but I thought I had at least couple of more months until it would come down to this."

Chakotay didn't know if he should have laughed or kicked the already dented hull. The situation was almost laughable. After floating in space over three hours he was finally among the living again, but for what reason? Alpha Flyer was nothing more than piece of useless junk now and without it he was chained in one place and one place only. So he perhaps it had been better if he had stayed in space until the life-support had went down for the last time. Hell, that had been his plan, hadn't it? He hadn't set up distress signal to alert nearby vessels. He had just been there – first trying to figure out what the problem was and then just simply staring the starts with the picture of Kathryn in his hand. It would have been a fitting ending for him.

Suddenly Chakotay startled as he heard a voice behind him.

"Is it damaged beyond repair?"

Chakotay turned around and saw someone standing in the shadows approximately five meters away. The person, little shorter than him, was wore dark garments and leaned on a walking stick of some kind.

"I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's alright", Chakotay finally said. "I just didn't expect anyone being here except me."

"Is it always this quiet here?"

"I wouldn't know", Chakotay said. "I was just towed here less than hour ago by a Federation science vessel."

"I see", the stranger with extremely hoarse voice said. "So what seems to be the problem?"

"Power transformer", Chakotay told. "So unless I cannot find a new one on this station, this old bird won't fly again. And since this station is here because of the Schiaparelli cluster, I don't expect the science staff having extra power transformers in store for random vessels in distress. So I am stuck on this station until next science or cargo vessel docks here."

"Are you in a hurry?"

A faint smile rose on Chakotay's lips. In hurry? Hardly. Since his resignation from Starfleet, he had had all the time of the world. He had left from Earth, flown across the quadrant without anyone to accompany him. He had visited his sister, but despite of his best efforts, he had not found peace with her either. It had already been over a year since Kathryn's death and he was still without direction. There was no purpose in his life, no passion. Instead he had been consumed by anger, frustration and pain, and he still was. All that had kept him somewhat sane was the sight of streak of stars as he had passed them by on a warp speed with a picture of Kathryn on his console.

"No, I am in no hurry", Chakotay finally said. "You? Are you a scientist here?"

"I am a guest", was the answer", but I do love science and exploration."

"Then you must be in the right place", Chakotay said.

"What about you? Do you trade or do you explore?"

"Neither", Chakotay said and slammed the main hatch close. "But I used to explore."

"Used to?"

"I'm no longer in the business of exploration", he told as he threw his bag on his left shoulder and started to walk towards the shuttle bay doors.

"Why?"

"I have already seen all there is to see", Chakotay told. "And once you lose your heart and your passion, there is no more exploring either."

"I am sorry to hear that."

Chakotay didn't answer. He didn't want to be rude, but he was tired and having a conversation with a stranger in a quiet and dim shuttle bay didn't interest him much either. But before Chakotay reached the shuttle bay doors, he finally realized something. He stopped and turned around. His mysterious companion, whose face he had not seen yet, had followed him closely behind.

"I didn't hear your name", Chakotay said then.

"And I didn't hear yours."

"Chakotay", Chakotay said then.

"Hytan", the stranger said. "Or at least I believe it is my name. It sounds familiar."

"Hytan", Chakotay repeated. "And you are a guest here on Starbase 712?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"They found me", Hytan told.

"Found you?"

Hytan stepped closer and finally Chakotay saw him wearing a large hood, which covered his head and face.

"I have been very ill", Hytan told.

"I am sorry to hear that."

"I am feeling better", Hytan told. "It is a slow process, but process nonetheless."

"Are the scientists on this station helping you?"

"They are", Hytan told. "The sickbay here has everything one can imagine. The people here have been most kind. Without them I would have not lived."

"How long have you been here?"

"Months", Hytan said. "I cannot even remember how many months exactly, but it has been months."

"Where are you from?" Chakotay asked then since he was unable to determine Hytan's species.

Hytan didn't answer.

Suddenly a strange sensation swept over Chakotay. It was unexpected and surprisingly powerful. Chakotay couldn't exactly give it a name, or pinpoint its origin, but there was something about Hytan that had made him sense something rather unusual.

"Why do you require medical treatment?" Chakotay asked then.

"Severe space exposure", Hytan told quietly.

"For how long?"

"Long enough", was the answer. "Long enough to damage my physiology in a severe manner."

"Will you be able to fully recover?"

"No one knows."

"How did you end up in space?"

"Explosion", Hytan told. "That is all I can remember. Or maybe that is just a dream, a nightmare, but that is all I have left to believe in. And in my mind there is also a sight of some kind of vortex where green and blue rays of light intermingle. Then – nothing."

"Do you know who you are?" Chakotay ask.

"Maybe", Hytan told. "Sometimes I think I know who I am, but sometimes I come to realize it has to be a dream I've created to give this some meaning."

"Sometimes there is no meaning", Chakotay told and the look in his eyes darkened.

"Isn't there always some reason for all that happens?" Hytan asked.

"I don't know", Chakotay said. "It is a nice thought, but maybe it is just something we keep telling ourselves when there's nothing else left to hold on to."

"You mean when there is no hope?"

"I'm sure you have hope Hytan", Chakotay said. "But perhaps everyone loses their hope at one point of time."

"Have you lost your hope Chakotay?"

Chakotay took a moment until answered. "Sometimes you just have to accept that there are things in this universe that happen without a reason, no matter how hard you have believed otherwise."

"It sounds like you have lost your hope."

"I have lost everything except my freedom", Chakotay told. "But freedom is worth nothing without a meaning."

"Perhaps there is a meaning, but you have not realized it yet", Hytan suggested.

"That is a very optimistic from you", Chakotay said. "And you need it Hytan, if you want to get better. You still have hope."

Hytan didn't answer. Chakotay looked him for a moment, until nodded and turned around to leave.

"In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself astray in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost", Hytan said then.

Chakotay stopped and turned around. "What did you say?" he asked.

"Why?"

"Just say it one more time."

"In the middle of the journey of our life", Hytan began, "I found myself astray in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost."

"Dante Alighieri", Chakotay said. "You are familiar with Earth's literature?"

Hytan did not reply.

"Are you human?" Chakotay asked and took a step closer.

"That phrase means something to you?" Hytan asked.

"It does", Chakotay said. "And not just because I am human."

"What do you mean?"

Chakotay stared Hytan for a moment, until sighed and shook his head. "Never mind", he said then and rubbed his right template. Sleep deprivation was starting to get over him. "I need rest. So I have to go and see if I can get any quarters on this station. That or I have to sleep in my ship or what's left of it."

Hytan did not say anything. He simply stood still his fade hidden behind the large hood.

"It was nice to meet you Hytan", Chakotay said. "Good night."

Then he turned around and stepped out of the shuttle bay.

But as he walked on the empty corridor, finding someone to ask about the free quarters, he couldn't help but revise the encounter in the shuttle bay. Something was off. He was confused, uneasy even. He had met many strangers during the months he had spent flying around the quadrant, but no one he had spent time with had managed to get him this perplexed. What was it about Hytan that had made him feel so strange now? Did he feel sorry about him? Was this pity he was feeling now, or was this only a trick his tired mind had produced?

"Forget him", Chakotay whispered to himself. "Forget him and get some rest. There is nothing you can do for him. Nothing."

But suddenly Chakotay froze in the middle of the corridor once he finally realized the reason for his current confusion. Hytan was different than other strangers he had met lately, because there was something very familiar in him. Maybe it was his choice of words, of maybe the way he had spoken. But the truth was that Hytan was the first person who had brought Kathryn closer to him somehow. This total stranger on a random Starbase near an uninteresting cluster that Federation wanted for some reason to explore had reminded him about Kathryn in the most eeriest way.

Chakotay stopped, dropped his bag on the corridor floor and took a crumpled picture from his pocket. And there she was again – his love.

Chakotay closed his eyes and forced the pain in his heart to silence. No matter how deep his wound still was, there was no room for pain anymore. He had understood that, he had accepted that, so there was nothing more to discover or to learn about it.

But she was still with him. She was still beside him everyday. And he still refused to let her go. Starting over without a reason was simply something I could not do.