Hotch is willpower forced to look away from Reid and returned to his papers, but he could not concentrate. The letters danced before his eyes and lost pictures sharp contours and a rozpíjely. He felt ... confused and frustrated. You ... thoughts ... it distract, catching his attention elsewhere and not to put him to sleep. And now it began to interfere in the work.
He sighed, pushing apart the damn paper and pencil threw away somewhere on the table, into the chaos of the components of old cases, because it just was not worth leaned back in his chair and reid eyes closed his knuckles rubbed his temples.
He was an idiot. He could not understand how it could just let go so far. How could he have somewhere to go. Reid was not his slave! And he was so much older and unprepared for such things, was divorced and had a child and had to act at all times responsibly and professionally, because he was after all its agents in charge had to protect them and ensure that after one of their hits did not have to deal condolences to their families, had to ride them, and perhaps because of them arguing Strauss and care about their well-being, but make sure you are not, in any case, do not pull them into bed.
Because once you get married colleague to bed, to say nothing of his subordinate, to knead the only problems, nothing else.
It was from him as stupid. And it does not excuse nothing, absolutely nothing can excuse or justify his behavior during the night, nor that it sped Haley because of their divorce, or that Jack could not see it for weeks, even that could - they both - could die when stuck in that damn interview room with the fucking bastard Chester Hardwick. He could not excuse it, but you could at least explain it.
He sighed again, this time deeper and bezradněji and his view has found its way between the half pulled the blinds on the windows of his office (after all these months almost automatically) Reid sought. He slid it gently over the young man's charming features, watched with smiles slightly above what Morgan told him, and he could not get enough of that view, stroking, rubbing it on his face, forehead and lips, the lips, the taste of which he knew so well, although there really touched only once and only once.
Just once, because it was only one night. Just one, damn, crazy, wonderful night ...
It was the day when they were with Reid in a federal prison in Connecticut interrogate Hardwick and everything was going wrong. He knew he had made a terrible mistake when they let their feelings affect and allowed them to dominate him when provoked Hardwick and caused that not only he, but Reid got into mortal danger. He knew that it was one of his worst mistakes. Because of that, something that threatened him, was not so bad, but that was due to him in danger of someone else that was due to him in danger Reid ... it was just terrible. Irresponsible and inexcusable. And until now it stopped blame.
Because, frankly, Hardwick really could kill. He could handle it, because he had nothing to lose when he was in jail, waiting to be executed. Hotch could not remember ever in my life felt more afraid than when he realized that he could Reid for him, one for his stupid mistake to lose a life. Suddenly, his heart pounding and his head was completely empty, not thinking about anything other than the fact that it must be avoided. And so he had planned with Hardwick calmly and fight to keep his attention aside Reid to keep his side Reid was willing to be beaten, hell, he would quietly kill, sacrifice would be if it was necessary to in order to survive Reid.
But then, just when you are going to throw it Hardwick, Reid said, and pulled all the way murderer attention to themselves and Hotch absolutely petrified with horror. Now what about Hardwick do?, He thought, but could do with a word, her eyes wide, heart pounding frantically in her chest, her hands cold with fear, unable to move. But Hardwick at Reid attacked as Hotch waited, instead of just stared at him, fascinated and Reid talked, talked and talked, absolutely it have tamed explanation of why the Hardwick became what it became, why did what he was doing, and Hotch still waiting to see what happens when Hardwick stop Reid's lecture fun and he returns to his previous plans, ready to hit a jump between them, Hardwick keep away from Reid, if something goes wrong.
But nezvrtlo and before he could really do something Hardwick, there were prison guards, and again, the convicted murderer, who could have easily hurt, done away.
A Hotch was impressed and hardly believed that it actually turned out that way, without injury, without blood, without any of them died. It was ... take a deep breath and could not break away from Reid's view, it is so terribly afraid that if he does, Reid had disappeared and he found that he was mistaken, that Hardwick Reid hurt that it failed to prevent ...
In the silence got in the car and Hotch pulled off the streets, while the corner of his eye still looked after Reid, just to make sure that there really is. A young man was there, sitting beside him, his face was pale and hands rested on his knees, clutching fingers dug into fabric of his trousers, his knuckles were white. Hotch still felt so embarrassed, he was still so scared and now of relief, because there was Reid and his heart was still beating so fast ... And when the intersection turned left instead of right, still did not say anything and neither Reid, only long, deep breath and Hotch knew that Reid knows it, too, although that does not know where they were going, but knowing where it will end, he knew where he was - where both of them - tonight implement, as it somehow subconsciously knew Hotch.
Therefore, when they finished in that hotel when behind Hotch closed the bedroom door, Reid did not seem surprised or puzzled, looked almost soothingly, as if he knew that neither Hotch is not really sure what to do, and why there actually are. He did not know what to do, not knowing what to do, and also knew because it was the only thing at the moment could do, and so Reid suddenly, desperately hugged, wrapped her arms around his body and buried his face in her hair and greedily inhaled the scent of his shampoo, because he needed to make sure that Reid is here and with it, that is fine and they are both still alive ...
And then suddenly, before you even knew what was happening, it Reid pushed back hard against the wall and clung to him, clung to him the entire length of the body and all that his bony knees, shoulders and pelvis Hotch pushed and stabbed the body, but Hotch refused to give up the feeling and pulled him closer, and then he kissed Reid, the nervous and self-conscious young man kissed him, his eyes closed, his movements so smooth and surprisingly experienced when running his lips over his and then the it tasted language and sweep him and asked to join in. Hotch and his request was answered and opened his lips, so Reid tongue immediately slipped into his mouth and entwined with it his all and it was soft and soothing, it was sharp and fierce and desperate strong and it was wonderful and Reid's mouth tasted so perfectly ... Hotch pulled his fingers through his hair and held firmly between the fingers and the long dark silky strands that he could pull his head closer and set it to a better angle to have better access ...
Hotch swore and ran his fingers through his hair, because - after all it was only one night, dammit! - At this must not think, could not think of Reid, not that way, but then could not help before his eyes, one after the other emerged memories as clear as crystal clear as if it happened just yesterday, the memories of everything followed the first, hasty kiss ...
Reid did not hesitate long and firmly held Hotchova shoulders, still pressed him against the wall and slid his lips along his jaw down to his neck and kissed him right on the spot where his skin fluttered accelerated pulse, hotly licked that spot and use the language and teeth, not painful, but gently, irritating and Hotchovy knees trembled, and he had to inclose her arms tightly around his waist to keep his feet and then suddenly felt the young man's hand on his collar, and one young man's leg with his heavily printed between his legs and he felt on his thigh pressure Reid's excitement as a young man he wiped Reid and his quick movement undid his tie and threw it somewhere behind him, so that he could one after another fast start to unbutton pale blue shirt. A Hotch is not hindered, and he raised his hands to the collar Reid's shirt and began to unbutton her, because that was what he needed, he needed to know that Reid is right, he needed to keep him, wanted him to feel each other, wearing the you and all around you ...
He pushed away from the wall, but Reid did not let go, clutching him tightly together, and while his one hand still unbuttoned shirt, kissed him again, deeply and passionately and eagerly and Reid moaned into the kiss, his arms wrapped around his neck and his groans broke into muffled scream when Hotch finally distrib-uted his shirt, bow down to him and pressed her lips against his chest.
Trampling each other down her legs, but they did not mind it, stumbled across the room, in a strong embrace, trying to get rid of as many clothes as she could and then fell on the bed and tore himself from the rest, to finally be able to back pressed so as needed, naked and exposed, hooked into each other, touching each other so desperately and passionately, because it needed to know, need to make sure ... Hotch once again seized the young man's lips, vpil into them and then slid down Reid's body because he must have felt, had to feel everything had to taste it ... He took it into his mouth and he was yet hard as stone, remember that it was ever so excited and needed ... needed ...
Puzzled, he looked up when he Reid dug her nails into his shoulders, and the young man looked at him, her cheeks flushed, her hair disheveled, his face contorted with pleasure as he bit his lip and shook his head fervently and then began to pull back up, back to back, and he acquiesced in, pulled himself up by his body, and pressed gently, soothing kisses on his skin everywhere reached, pitched between his spread thighs, clinging to him and his hotness Reid skin on the body almost burned when the young man again vpil in his mouth and pulled his fingers into the matted hair, because they could not get enough of touching, because Reid's hair ever been so crude as they were, but they were fine and silky, it is gripped between the fingers. Reid sighed into his mouth, his fingernails came off the back, but Hotch oblivious to pain, and hugged her legs around his waist, and he opened for him.
"Fuck me, Hotch," he said hoarsely, and he looked up at his face, his eyes darkened with desire to almost black.
Hotch him a few seconds he stared dumbfounded and could not believe that Reid really say that it really wants to, but wanted to ask him about it, and he was not strong enough to reject it because, yes, yes, of course, God , yes!, he too wanted to, I needed it, so he once again kissed deeply and then slipped into his body, uncertainly, but eagerly, slowly but passionately, gently, but with a desperate need of the young man close delved into Reid tight heat and when he escaped from his lips while a few muffled sobs, no one noticed, because he really was with Reid, were alive and well, Hotch had it with you, Hotch was over him and was moved with him ... in him and Reid came to meet him willingly, offered him my body, because it needed as much as Hotch, groaning beneath him, kissed him and moaned and sobbed desperately, running her nails over his shoulders and hugged him tight legs, his knees pressed to his sides to it could take into your body deeper, harder, faster, more, more, more, please ...
When they both yelled at the same time, Hotch splattered with white twinkling eyes and suddenly he saw nothing but them, shaking, because he had never seen anything so powerful as this was, and then he fell limply on Reid's body, but the young man's matter, because it still hugging, holding him close and pressed him to her and ran his fingers lightly on the back, while still holding legs around his waist, because he did not want to give up the opportunity to feel him everywhere, and Hotch to pull away, not wanting to , the young man could not let go, so he held a tight embrace, her lips slid soothingly across his face and he slíbával of soft leather face the hot tears, his fingers stroking her hair and enjoying the wonderful, warm feeling close to him. And so too eventually fell asleep in tight embrace with his feet entwined, Hotch still inside Reid, to be as close as it could.
Awakening had nothing to do with the night before. It was quiet, nervous and embarrassed. When he finally extricated myself from the tangle of limbs entwined, Hotch could not even look at Reid and he got out of bed, dressed himself with his back to her, got into the car and drove back to Quantico, back to work, back to their lives, to those lives they led before this night.
They did not talk about was said between them about a word before, and even then, not ever. It was not necessary, because they both knew what that night meant - it was the way to himself and to the other provide comfort, consolation and reassurance that they are really alive, nothing more and nothing less. It was something that needed that night, but it did not make any commitment, because it simply can not go, no way, they both knew, and so did not need words. He never returned to that night, not even a hint, because it was not needed. Their relationship to disturb, the work was still the strict relationship of boss and subordinate, or colleagues outside of work were friends who were afraid that the other person in the job responsibilities something happens just as worried about anyone else on the team and beyond . If Hotch knew anyone from the team never thought it suspicious, because this really was not the slightest reason. They talked as before, with the cases discussed and presented profiles. Never between them was never mentioned that night, but their relationship has not changed, there was no sudden voltage, no self-consciousness, insecurity or shame. Has not changed anything. As if the night he so desperately needed, ever happened.
Changed, only one Hotchův view of Reid. Because he had not seen him in clumsy young man who is interested in the same boring stuff and is nervous when he is with someone just to chat, now see him as he really was, saw him as a strong, independent young man who can take what he wants. He saw in him the passion he recognized him that night, he saw in him the desire to have someone who will understand him and who will be there when you need it, saw in him the need for someone nearby.
And all this attracted his eye like a magnet from him and he could not look away, and even though we may perhaps nobody has yet noticed his eyes remained on Reid still more and still more, and he forgot everything around him, he looked at him. Because when you looked into his eyes, seeing in them an echo of the night. He saw them all the boy's confidence, ferocity and vulnerability and the expression of sheer delight when he softly moved in his body and hugged him, because he feared that if he momentarily let go, come on him. He saw all this, when looked at him and slowly drove him to madness.
So why on earth why the damn night could not stop thinking about why it could not forget as well as Reid?
The answer was simple, even though he himself say it yet dared. For him - even if he did not know even now was afraid to admit to himself - it was more, much more than just one night.