Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.
We twa hae paidl'd
It shouldn't be possible, considering how much time and life experiences have passed between their initial separation and when they finally re-united, but I can't deny the truth before me. Every movement, look, smile and word that they share screams it. Though they resemble each other only at a passing glance, their brotherly connection is certain and strong.
I ignore the familiar heartache as my mind recalls my own little brother's smiling face. Even after all these years, I still miss him terribly. Sneaking a long look at Anzu and Jou huddled up in the corner of my couch I know that Yugi would be happy that the woman of his dreams has finally found true love.
And I hope he's happy for me too.
Turning my gaze back to the two huddled over the contents from a large box in the middle of my living room floor, I take a few minutes to further observe my former lover and his little brother.
Seto Funakoshi hasn't physically changed that much since the last time I saw him, though can almost swear that he's gotten taller. His slim, muscular build speaks of the care he takes of his body; probably still through his martial arts. I can't help the smile at thinking about running my fingers through his thick, dark brown hair and gazing into those perfect, sapphire blue eyes. If there is one major change to the man who I hope will become my lover again, it's the ever present smile in his eyes. The entire four years we were together, there was always a lingering sadness in his eyes that is completely gone now.
The addition of Mokuba Funakoshi, or Heinrich von Schroeder as he is legally known since his adoption, into my Koshi's life has had a profound change on him. Assessing the tall, black-haired teen a little more than I did the other night and yesterday, I note the deference he gives to Seto, and the way he seems to almost unconsciously encourage Seto's presence into his personal space and to act as his support. Noting the younger brother's strong, muscular build, I would bet that Seto's no match for him in raw power but that doesn't seem to matter. The green-grey eyes beneath the long mane of hair sparkle with a perpetual mischief dulled by an abiding sadness reminiscent of what I used to see in my Koshi's eyes.
I suppose that's to be expected after losing the only parents he remembers.
As they continue to put together whatever contraption it is that Mokuba's brought in for our later entertainment, I fight off an equally familiar twinge of jealousy.
I know in my head why Seto left me almost two years ago, but in my heart…
Deciding to retreat rather than risk upsetting Seto with my suddenly somber mood, I head into the kitchen to make something warm for everyone to drink. It's a perfect excuse, given that we'll all soon be outside in the cold watching the fireworks display to ring in the New Year. Yes, a perfectly legitimate reason to turn tail and run rather than face the feelings that I've managed to keep hidden since just after we left the Karaoke bar two days ago.
As I'm sprinkling some cinnamon into the pot of the dark, amber liquid large enough to serve the five of us several cups of the delicious smelling brew, I'm not really surprised to feel Seto's arms sliding around me.
"Happy New Year," he nuzzles into my neck, encouraging the belief that he will be my lover again soon.
"Mmm, not yet," I reply, basking in his touch a moment before slipping from his arms and gathering other ingredients for the mulled apple cider wine.
It's ridiculous that I still crave him so much. When he left…
No, I came in here to escape that thought pattern. I always knew that Mokuba was his number one priority. I did. But I guess part of me hoped that he'd have chosen me instead…
Such thoughts are futile now. And destructive. He chose. He left. He's returned. End of story.
Except now that Mokuba is found and they've bonded even closer than before, if the choice ever came again…
And it will come again soon, because Mokuba has already said that he will be going back to Germany.
Warm hands embrace mine, followed by a light kiss against my knuckles, before a small container of something is slipped from my fingers.
"I don't think that's going to enhance the flavor," Seto teases, setting the mistakenly proffered salt back in the cabinet.
"Th-that's because you're distracting me," I stammer turning back to the pot and stirring in a bit of nutmeg.
Kami! I can't believe I sound like a lovesick teenager! But having my Koshi near me again…
And we still haven't had any time to our selves yet! Well, not any significant time anyway. After the Karaoke bar, Seto, Mokuba and I came back here to the house and talked until early yesterday morning. I'd then set Mokuba up in one of my guest rooms and Seto and I promptly fel into my bed, Seto asleep probably before his head hit the pillow.
Yesterday afternoon they had gone to check out of the hotel to come stay with me as we'd decided the night before. Of course it was a given that Seto would stay here with me and I couldn't find it in myself to even suggest that Mokuba wouldn't be welcome, so…
I'd left my key for Seto to duplicate and use before heading out around 11:00 am for an engagement at the nearby shopping mall. And then after I'd gotten back around 6:00 pm, I'd found Seto in the kitchen making dinner and we'd all dined together and talked more before heading off to bed. I'd wanted him then.
He'd shed his clothes and climbed into bed beside me as though he'd only been gone from me for the day at work or for a short business trip. And when he'd wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his chest against my back, I'd felt the obvious physical proof that he'd wanted me too…
But it was not to be, I guess. Just as he'd begun nuzzling and nipping my neck and rubbing intently against me, Jou had shown up unannounced. Using the key that he'd always had to my house but seldom used, he'd stumbled into my room, drunk off his ass, babbling about his dad and the car and that he'd told him not to drive…It's actually a refrain that repeats nearly every year about this time, though usually with much less alcohol.
The New Year's Eve accident nearly 10 years ago had been brutal, killing his father and the other car's driver instantly. Jou himself had suffered several broken bones, a ruptured spleen and a concussion. His 8-year old little sister, Shizuka, had lingered in her terribly broken body for another three days before she too succumbed to her injuries. As the sole surviving member of his family since his mom had died giving birth to Shizuka, Jou had done all the funeral arrangements for both of them from his hospital bed.
Normally, Jou didn't allow himself to get drunk like that, though he sometimes indulged a little when the memories become too painful, but once he'd explained why as I plied him with cups of strong, black coffee, we could understand his desire to numb himself into oblivion.
Apparently his aunt Vivian, who'd recently moved to the area as the new wife of his uncle Keith, had shown up out of the blue to tell him about his younger cousin Rebeccas's death. Handing us a slightly crumpled family portrait from earlier this year, even we could see her uncanny resemblance to his little sister. And then when he'd found out that the cousin had died as the result of the still critically injured uncle driving drunk and that the wife had barely escaped death herself in that same accident…well…
I'm just glad that he didn't have to go any farther than next door to find a shoulder; even if I'm certain that he'd have walked across the entirely of Japan rather than get behind the wheel of a car.
Though if Anzu had taken Jou up on his request for her to move in with him when he'd asked her a few weeks ago, she'd have soothed him through all of that and then Seto and I…
Abruptly, my thoughts turn to when Seto rejected my request to move in with me and had flown to Germany to be with Mokuba just after. Not including the first Christmas without Yugi, that definitely qualified as the worst Christmas ever.
And now my thoughts are right back where they started from…Seto leaving me for Mokuba.
It's stupid for me to be jealous about this! I knew where his loyalties lay! I knew that he'd choose Mokuba over our relationship! Over me!
But now that they're reunited…
Seto's hand on my cheek turning me to face him pulls me from my circular thoughts.
"What has you so troubled, Yami?" he frowns down at me. "You've had this look on your face since yesterday."
"I guess I'm just wondering when you're going back to Germany," my mouth answers before my brain can stop it.
"Maybe in a few weeks to get my things," Seto replies off-handedly. "Do you want to come with me? That's if your schedule isn't too tight."
"What?" I blink at him stupidly.
It's then that he seems to understand what I'd actually been asking him; 'I was wondering when you'd leave me again.'
"Never, Yami…Never…" he breathes before capturing my lips in a desperate kiss.
His arms encircle my waist as my hands slide into his familiar thick locks and we begin kissing with wild abandon. In between scorching hot kisses, I begin unbuttoning his shirt as he starts working on the belt to my pants after having pushed my t-shirt up under my arms. A brief pause in our ministrations then turns into us kissing frantically and groping each blindly.
A loudly cleared throat suddenly brings us up for air.
"What?" Seto barks over his shoulder, barely pulling away from me, never loosening his arm around my waist or the grip on my hand that he's directing into his pants.
"Um, sorry, guys," Jou's light tenor intones. "But Ji-chan and everybody are here."
I swear Seto growls as he steps away from me and turns to Jou, answering for both of us, "We'll be right there."
Following Jou's nod and departure, he steals another fiery kiss from me, and then takes my hand and strides purposefully out of the kitchen. Any protests I make about the state of our clothes and his hair are completely ignored.
Luckily, I manage to at least pull my shirt down before we step into the full view of Jii-chan, his best friend, Dr. Hawkins, my friend Honda and his wife Mai, and my gaming partner Otogi. Unfortunately, the state of Seto's hair and half-unbuttoned shirt probably tell their own story.
At Mokuba's snicker, I blurt out, "We were cooking."
I'd actually hoped it to be an explanation of our tardiness, but instead it serves as an obvious explanation of our activities.
"Yes, we can see that," Dr. Hawkins replies drolly.
As the room erupts into laughter, Seto tightens his grip on my hand. At first I think it's because he's upset about being made fun of, until I see the delight in his eyes. Another memory surfaces as he turns to me with a light smile while Mokuba helps him fix his hair.
It was our third New Year's together and the first that my family and friends had invited us to after I'd chosen Seto over Anzu. Seto hadn't wanted to go over to Anzu's house with me, even though he'd received his own separate invitation to attend the gathering.
"They must hate me for stealing you away from Anzu," he'd pronounced. "How could I face them knowing that?"
"Please, Koshi. I need you there," I'd begged.
He'd stared at me a long while before declaring, "I'll go. For you, I'll go. We'll face them together."
I know it hurt him to deal with their cool politeness that day, but he'd stood tall and strong, holding my hand for much of our visit in silent support. I suppose he'd been expecting the same cool politeness this time, especially knowing that he'd been the reason yet again for my recent pain.
After leaning up to give Seto a quick kiss amid whistle and catcalls from Jou, Honda and Otogi, I let go of Seto's hand to greet our guests properly.
Our guests.
I like the sound of that.
I wonder if Koshi would mind getting a very belated Christmas present.