Outside Looking In

Rated: G

Season: Late season 1? It's the only one I've seen.

Spoilers: Slight one for "Letters from Pegasus". You won't notice if you haven't seen it. Also, slight spoilers for "Hide and Seek", "Hot Zone", and "Sanctuary".

Disclaimer: I wish, I wish with all my heart… but I still don't own Stargate Atlantis.

A/N: Hey everyone! Well, here is my first Atlantis story! I usually write for SG1, but I got season 1 of Atlantis on dvd. I love David Hewlett!… I mean, I love Atlantis!… and David Hewlett…

Anyway, I've only seen season 1, so sorry in advance if I don't get the characters quite right. Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoy!

The song is "Outside Looking In" by Melissa O'Neil, Canadian Idol's latest winner.

oooooooooooooo

Elizabeth worked quietly in the corner of the chair room, attemptingto decipher a derivative of the Ancient language they'd discovered in some files in the city computers. Since the files had been found at a console in the chair room, it was hopeful that the text referred to the chair itself. Perhaps some more instructions, which they could use about now.

Rodney and three other scientists were at work on the chair. Wires connecting it to their laptops, interfacing in a way she never really did understand but accepted as just one of those things that just was the way it was.

Tell me what are you hiding, under the stairs

She looked over at Rodney as he berated the others with him.

"Whoa! What do you think you're doing! You can't just ignore the laws of physics whenever you want… Out. Just, just get out."

Tell me what's in your closet, what's got you scared

She didn't interfere as the one left. Yes, he was hard on them, but she had to admit that efficiency and quality of work from the science teams had only improved since they'd first come here.

He always seemed to know what people were capable of and expected them to give just that. Their best, just as he did.

Cause I've come so far, to know who you are
And you always leave me waiting

He was so hard to understand. He held back in some ways, but in other ways he was desperately reaching out. Never afraid to admit when he was hungry, unsure, or nervous. Yet it took his dying moments to admit he had a sister.

I'm so tired of standin' here at your door

oooooooooooooo

Rodney cast another furtive glance in Elizabeth's direction. He'd felt her watching him infrequently the last few hours. Rather unnerving. She seemed to be looking for something. He would give it to her if he could. If he only understood what she wanted.

It's not what I wanted I want more
I wish I knew what was inside but I've always been
On the outside looking in

"Ew! What is this, turkey? Who made this? Did you make this?"

oooooooooooooo

Feels like I've known you forever but what do I know

How did he do that? Always know the right answer long before anyone else would see or accept it.

You never answer my questions, only the door

Some people thought he lacked courage. He was always complaining. But she'd learned from the beginning of their stay here that that was not the case. When the personal shield device had stayed on him, she'd determined the cause to be his insecurity. But she had also seen him fight back that insecurity to save the city. Self sacrifice.

So I wait for you to show me who you are. But I'm still waitin'

She'd also seen him fight for what he knew to be true. When the Ancient woman visited the city, he'd known something was off right from the start. Even when everyone, including her, believed nothing was amiss, he didn't back down. Determination.

I'm so tired of standin' here at your door

She'd tried to talk to him before, to learn more about him. It seemed to make him uncomfortable, so she stopped and decided to let him share what he wanted as he felt ready. Which wasn't much. But she'd learned a lot over time just by watching him.

oooooooooooo

She was doing it again. Looking at him. Was she disappointed in how he was treating his team?

He hoped she knew he didn't really mean it. These people were like family to him. Ignorant family perhaps… but family nonetheless. He would try to be nicer.

"Aw! Come on! Did you have to… Do we all look like we woke up wanting to be blown up today!"

He was trying. Honest. His team just didn't make it very easy.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed. "Okay, let's just take a fifteen minute break, then we'll try this again."

It's not what I wanted I want more
I wish I knew what was inside but I've always been
On the outside looking in

ooooooooooo

"Rodney, aren't you going to take a break too? You've been here all morning," she questioned as the lone scientist kept typing near the chair.

"What? Oh, no. I just wanted to get rid of them for a few minutes so I could think straight."

Do your secrets keep you warm at night or do they keep you lonely?
Do the brick walls keep you safe from harm, is that why you won't get to know me?

"Well, I'm going to go grab something to eat. Can I get you anything?" she asked as she stood up.

And suddenly, he looked very lonely. He didn't have to be.

I'm so tired of standin' here at your door

"Would you like to join me? I'd love your company."

ooooooooooooo

I wish I knew what was inside but I've always been
On the outside looking in

"Oh, well ah," he looked around at the laptops and wires and formulas. All very important. She'd taken him by surprise.

She wanted to spend time with him. Outside of work. He felt warmth as his incessant, childlike need for acceptance quieted. He would never admit how much her companionship mattered to him, his desire for her respect.

"I, ah, I would like that very much," he smiled.

He detached a few connections and turned off a few screens.

"Wouldn't want any of them returning before me and blowing the place up," he explained.

Then he eased himself up off the floor and joined her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Thanks for reading!

macisgate