A/N: No one get too personal...this is just a FunFic!!

Disclaimer: Don't own RENT or this Malcolm in the Middle episode

Ch. One: The Prank

"Mark!" Roger called from outside, banging on the Cohen's front door. "Markie! Let me in!"

Mark came down all dressed in a botton-up, long sleeve shirt and pocket pants when he heard Roger banging on the door.

"Mark, please! Let me in!" Roger asked again.

Mark laughed and put his ear by the door.

"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin," Mark whispered.

Roger sighed and laughed.

"That is...if you had hair on your chinny chin chin!" Roger teased.

Mark frowned and opened the door. Roger's eyes almost popped out of his head.

"Man, Mark Vincent Cohen, you look very nice. Gotta date?" Roger asked.

"Sure do, man. Her name is Jennifer," Mark said.

"Sounds hot," Roger said.

Roger walked in and helped himself into Mark's kitchen. He grabbed the milk carton and drank out of it.

"Hey, you know that's why my mom doesn't like you coming over here, you pig," Mark told, watching Roger drink out of the milk carton.

Roger stopped and wiping the milk from his upper lip.

"I wish I had enough food in my house to be a pig. You forget my parents are always too drunk to go get food...or jobs," Roger said.

As Roger continued to drink the milk, the phone rang. Roger, seeing the phone on the counter, grabbed it.

"Cohen residents, this is Roger speaking..." Roger said and listened for a moment, "It's a Jennifer for a Mr. Mark Cohen, the radient an squire!"

Mark grabbed the phone with a smirk. "Don't flatter yourself". Mark put the receiver to his ear.

"Hey, baby!" Mark said, smiling. "No, I'm great. I can't wait to see you...No I can't wait to you more...no, you more. You're here?...that's great! Be right out!"

Mark joyfully handed the phone to his bad boy pal.

"Mr. Mark Unlucky-in-love, finally has a date," Roger teased.

"Shut up!" Mark teased back, putting on his jean jacket.

"Hey, my old man kicked me out tonight. Can I shack here for the night?" Roger asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just don't let my mom catch you drinking or eating something you shouldn't...otherwise she won't let come over here anymore," Mark warned.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya...now go and try to have fun. I hate seeing you miserable all the time!" Roger said, patting Mark on the back.

"Thanks, Rog...I'll try," Mark agreed.

Finally, the door bell rang. Mark grabbed his flowers for Jennifer (red roses!) and nervously opened the door and-

Oyk! Oyk! Oyk! Oyk! Oyk!!!

Mark looked down to see...a pig. It was wearing a collar that said Jennifer. It had lipstick and a heart balloon tied to it's waist that said I love you Mark.

There were four girls laughing and taking pictures: Mimi Marquez, Maureen Johnson, Joanne Jefferson and April Erickson.

Roger came out and was disgusted by what he saw. Mark was crying.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Roger yelled, signaling them to leave with his hand.

"Good night sucker!" Mimi yelled.

The girls all took off, laughing and hopped into Maureen's sports car and drove off.

Mark dropped his flowers and ran into the house. Roger shut the door.

"Mark! Come back!" Roger called, watching Mark run up the stairs.

Roger followed Mark, and Mark shut his bedroom door in Roger's face.

"Mark! Open the door!" Roger asked, banging on the door.

"Go away!" Mark cried, hiding his face in his pillow, tears falling down his face.

"It'll be okay! We'll tell the principle! I promise!" Roger told.

"I'm never coming out! Not ever again! EVER!" Mark cried.

"It's NOT funny!" Roger yelled at Principle Madden.

Principle put his hand on his face.

"I know...it's not funny! Not funny one bit!" Principle Madden said, but bit his lip, trying not laugh.

"Those retarded girls ruined Mark's life. Do something!" Roger demanded.

The principle giggled, "They put lipstick on the pig? Lipstick? You gotta admitt that's genius."

"That's not genius...that's cruel! And you're no help!" Roger yelled.

Roger furiously got out of his seat and grabbed the door knob.

"If you won't make things right...than I will..." Roger warned.

Roger left and the principle let out a huge laugh...

Roger walked down the hallways and was stopped by Mimi Marquez.

"Hey, Roger...vote for Homecoming King and Queen..." Mimi said, handing Roger a flyer.

It had a picture of Mark and the pig and it said Vote for Homecoming King and Pig.

Roger crippled the paper in his one hand, dropped it and stormed off. This was taken too far.

I'll make them pay...I swear it! Roger thought, leaving the school.