Hey guys, it's me! We all love P5, but towards the ending…could they've have handled Akechi better? Here's my take. NOTE: SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! ALSO: It's a PARODY:
"In the end… I couldn't be special…" Akechi said pitifully.
Ryuji spoke up, "Dude you're more than special…"
Makoto was next, "It pains me to admit… But your wit and strength far exceeds ours. We only defeated you by teaming up… I was honestly… Envious of your natural ability. It was frustrating to see how much my sister trusted you…"
"I have no intention of forgiving you for what you did to my father," Haru said coldly. "But... I sympathize with you. I wholeheartedly understand wanting to get back at the adults who took from you…"
"But when you gained the power to fulfill that desire, you only used it for your own self-benefit," Yusuke explained.
"If you have the ability to use multiple personas, you probably have the same talents as Joker. But because you went through life alone, the power you awakened was fueled by lies and hate... Still, you thought that was enough, right...? That part, I totally get," Futaba theorized.
"You excelled at everything over us... yet that was the one thing you lacked," Yusuke continued.
Akechi was stunned in his silence
"All right, let's go back and get that callin' card ready! We're gonna take Shido down. What're you gonna do," Ryuji asked determinedly.
Ann offered, "It'd be a problem if you kept getting in our way. Wanna come along and help us settle things?"
"...Are you all idiots," Akechi asked. "You should get rid of me… If you don't want me getting in your way." He saw that they weren't budging and he chuckled. "...you are all truly beyond my comprehension."
Before Akechi could answer, suddenly, another Akechi appeared in his regular detective clothes with a black aura surrounding him.
"Akechi..?" Ryuji asked dumbfounded.
"Another one!? Wait, he…" Yusuke asked with suspicion.
Morgana was stunned, "That's Shido's cognitive version of Akechi!"
The cognitive Akechi chuckled before pulling a gun on the original.
He turned to the Phantom Thieves and threatened, "I'll deal with the rest of you later."
He then focused on Akechi, "Captain Shido's orders… He has no need for losers… Well... this just moves the plan up a little. He was going to get rid of you after the election anyway."
"What..!?" the real Akechi said.
The real Akechi continued "Did you truly believe you'd be spared after all the murders you undertook? Don't tell me... Were you actually feeling good about having someone rely on you for once? Oh by the way, the captain says it's time you receive retribution for causing the mental shutdowns."
"What the hell, man!? That bastard's the one who put him up to it!" Ryuji yelled.
The real Akechi stood up and chuckled, "Heh, heh, heh... I see... I was wondering how he'd protect himself if I used my power to tear through his Palace. Turns out you're how. So he's making a puppet kill me... Sounds like something he'd do."
"That's right. I'll do anything," Cognitive Akechi confirmed. "But look at yourself... you're the true puppet. You wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? To be loved? You've been nothing but a puppet from the very beginning."
Ryuji was furious, "You little...!"
Makoto was on the verge of tears, "So this is how Shido thinks of Goro Akechi... It's... It's too horrible!"
Haru interrupted, "It's still not too late! We can change his heart together! Even if he's your father... No, because he's your father!"
Cognitive Akechi was annoyed, "What's all this nagging about...? Want me to take care of you first?"
Suddenly, about four or five shadows appeared behind the cognition.
Ann spoke up, "No... He's not alone! He has Shadows too...!?"
Cognitive Akechi turned towards the thieves, "You know what? I'll let someone volunteer to take his place. Who knows, you might delay his death."
"Damn you...!" Ryuji scolded.
Cognitive Akechi snickered, "You guys are all about doing things for others, aren't you? Oh, that's just the same as me. I'm going to take all the blame for our captain, I'll die for him too."
Makoto was distraught and angered, "This is what Shido thinks of Akechi-kun, even after making him help with the murders...!?"
"Here, I'll give you one last chance. Shoot them," the cognition offered.
Real Akechi laughed, "Haha... I was such a fool." He suddenly pulled his pistol on the Phantom Theives.
Cognitive Akechi was elated, "Yes... That's the you our captain wishes to see."
"...Don't misunderstand. You're the one who's going to disappear," the real Akechi said shooting the cognition in the gut.
As the fake fell to one knee, the real Akechi shot a switch in the room; causing an alarm to go off:
"The watertight bulkhead door has closed. All personnel within the partition wall, evacuate at once," the intercom said.
After the announcement, a wall rose between the cognitions and Akechi, and the theives.
"Whoa, what is this!?" Futaba asked.
"Akechi," Ryuji said, banging on the wall.
"Hurry up and go," they heard Akechi yell from the other side.
Yusuke shouted, "You fool! Are you trying to get yourself killed!?"
Akechi chuckled, "The real fools... are you guys. You should have just abandoned me here a long time ago. You would have all perished... if you had tried to face these with me weighing you down."
Akechi began to cough rather sickly.
"Akechi-kun," Makoto yelled with concern in her voice.
"Let's make a deal... OK? You won't say no...will you?" Akechi asked.
Yusuke asked with concern, "Why at a time like this!?"
"Change Shido's heart... in my stead... End his crimes... Please...!"
"I promise," Akira said with confidence.
This comment made Akechi smile.
Akira thought: "I sense a solid bond between me and Akechi..."
"You bastard," Cognitive Akechi yelled as he pointed the gun at his enemy.
"So, my final enemy is a puppet version of myself... Not bad," the real Akechi said, returning the stance.
"Akechi-kun!" Haru yelled.
"Isn't there some way to get this open, Mona...?" Ann asked.
Suddenly, there were gunshots heard from the other side of the wall.
Futaba read her Nav: "His signal is... gone…"
"No, actually, I'm still here," a voice said.
"Wait, what?" the group said. Ryuji hit the button by the wall; revealing Akechi in his 'Phantom Thief' attire.
"Wha?! How are- How are-" Haru exclaimed.
"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE," Ryuji finished.
Akechi scratched his head, "To be honest, I'm just as confused as you all."
Suddenly Akira raised his hand, "LET ME EXPLAIN!"
Ann gasped, "What got into you?"
Akira continued, "Well I simply used Phoenix's Samarecarm to completely heal him as he collapsed."
The group was silent.
"What? If we wanted to save him, wasn't that the best course of action?"
"Well, yes…but this was rather..spontaneous," Yusuke pointed out.
"Well either way, thank you," Akechi replied.
Akira gave a thumbs up, "No problem, teammate!"
"Teammate? After everything he's-" Makoto started.
"He was gonna try to help us stop Shido anyway," Akira said.
"But isn't he still-" Ryuji tried to say.
"Berserk? Nope, somehow that's gone too," Akechi said.
"Thanks to Melchizedek's Energy Shower," Akira confirmed.
"IT CAN FIX STUFF LIKE THAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU COULD DO THAT?!" Ryuji yelled.
Ann sighed, "Joker…is there…anything else you haven't told us?"
The leader thought for a moment, "Welp: I almost got killed by a Yakuza member-"
"The Eff," Ryuji asked.
"I'm friends with a shogi player who's somewhat of a Chuunibyou," Akira continued.
"That's not exactly what we had in mind," Makoto said; somewhat annoyed.
"We keep fighting and have our minds erased by a tsundere and kuudere loli," Akira said.
"I-Is that so," Haru asked with some confusion.
Akira finished, "And I've been smooshing booties with Oracle for about a month now."
Futaba shrieked with an annoyed tone, "What the shit, Joker?!"
Akira defended himself, "Sorry: 'Knocking Masks'. I mean I thought about Shiho…but somehow that seemed impossible," Futaba then punched Akira in the arm.
"What? We had to tell them eventually; I didn't wanna lead anyone on," he continued.
"Oh," Makoto said understanding.
"Oh," Ann said in relief.
"…Oh…" Haru repeated with sadness in her voice.
Akira put a hand on Ryuji's shoulder, "Don't worry; I'll always make time for you."
Ryuji shrugged him off, "Dude I don't wanna be your third wheel!"
"As much as I hate to interrupt, we really should be on our way out," Yusuke suggested.
Later
The Phantom Thieves had returned to the café to discuss the calling card.
"So, we have our plan," Morgana announced.
The rest of the gang nodded.
"Nice to know we'll be working together again," Akechi said.
Akira nodded, "Don't betray us this time."
"Ouch," Ann said.
"But, since our bond is full, shouldn't I be getting a new Persona," Akechi joked.
"Don't push it," Makoto said causing Akechi to laugh.
Ryuji sighed, "This whole day made my head hurt."
"It would be nice to make it to tomorrow without any more surprises," Yusuke confirmed.
"I agree," Akira said.
"IT WAS YOUR FAULT, YOU JERK," Ann and Ryuji yelled.
Akechi chuckled, "Ha ha, I had a feeling you two would make a cute couple. You're very similar."
"Oh, shaddup," Ryuji said.
"Glad someone thinks so," Ann said, annoyed.
Ryuji snapped his head towards her, "Wait….YOU LIKE ME?"
"WELL DUH, YOU IDIOT," she said storming upstairs.
"Hey, wait," Ryuji said following after her.
Akira sighed and looked towards Futaba, "So do you want me to walk you home? You can get home in time for Psychic K."
Futaba grabbed him by the ear, "Sure, but first…"
"Ow! That's my good ear," Akira yelped.
Futaba had a twisted look on her face, "You and I need to talk about what we tell our friends."
As she continued to drag him by the ear, Akira yelped in pain as they left the café. Suddenly the door wung open with Akira standing in the way; with a hand still on his ear.
"Also, my name's 'Akira' not 'Ren'; not sure where that name came from-AH!" he said as he got pulled off.
Morgana went back to sleep as Yusuke, Makoto, Haru, and Akechi were left. After a few moments of silence, Akechi spoke to Haru.
"Oh and, uh….sorry about the whole…killing your dad thing.." Akechi said somewhat nervously.
Haru remained stoic as the cup she was holding shattered in her hands.
Yusuke whispered to Makoto, "Should we leave now?"
Makoto nodded; somewhat scared, "I think that we would be our wisest option."
A/N: Well, that's what probably would've happened…maybe…anyways, like and review please! This has been BigTasty316says and I say to my Takeover Club: Stay Taken!