Volunteer
Opening the door to the children's cancer ward, Shane Gray drew in a deep breath. He could do this. Shane watched his feet dragging him forward, as though his body was separate from them. He had to do this.
"Ahem." Looking up and finding all of the nurses' eyes on him wasn't completely encouraging either.
"You called earlier, Mr. Gray?" Letting his eyes come into focus, he read the name tag. Brenda. Slightly plump, in her early fifties, short, brown curly hair – Brenda. It was fitting.
"My friends-" He coughed. No. Don't include Jason and Nate in this. "I mean me. I." He coughed again. Maybe they'd kick him out due to his cough like he had the plague. That would be nice. "I wanted to volunteer for the day."
"You mean-" Brenda rolled her eyes while simultaneously popping her gum in his face. Multitalented. "You wanted to play with the patients for the day?"
"Yeah-" He shifted his wait. "Something like that." Mitchie would be proud of him right now. That's what counted.
"Are you sure, Mr. Gray?" She looked incredulous.
"Yes. Positive." He put on his fake smile. And also scared to death.
"Well," She paused and looked at her chart. "We have lots of volunteers for the day. Maybe we'll start you out with just one."
"One what?"
"One cancer patient, Mr. Gray." Oh, God – please let it be a boy. Not a girl. He was scared of them. So, so fragile.
"Sounds good." He smiled again; not knowing whether to feel relieved, or even more disturbed.
"Follow me." And he did. All the way into the very back of the building, the second to the last door.
"Go in when you're ready. Enjoy." His eyes narrowed at Brenda's smirk; then once again drawing in a deep breath – he pushed the door open.
One step in, and the thing lunged at him – tackling his leg with all of its strength. He'd signed up to help the sweet, innocent ones – and somehow he'd received the terror of the world. Oh dear God, they'd given him the mini-Hannibal.
"Heellow." He looked down at the thing still attached to his leg. What was worse was it was a girl's voice. Or a really squeaky boy's. Whatever the sex, it had a mop of dark curls and was seriously tiny.
Shane wanted to run, but he couldn't. The little piranha still had him hooked.
"You come visit me?" Shane looked down again, and two of the biggest brown eyes stared up at him. Followed by a dimpled smile from a heart-shaped face. They just had to give him a girl. Gulp.
"Um, sure."
"I'm Emma." Still attached. "You?"
"Um, Shane." His name was what she wanted, right? He felt his heart soften within him. "I'm Shane."
"I think Mary fits you better." Finally, she detached herself. Only what, two feet tall? Tiny, tiny, tiny.
"Huh?"
"Or Mr. Periwinkle." A dimpled hand with tiny fingers reached for his. Reluctantly, he bent down to take it.
"What?"
"You not look like a Shane." She starting walking in the direction of some Barbie Dolls spread out on the floor; pausing long enough to stare upwards. "Maybe a Joe. Kinda like in Hardy Boys. You a 'tective?"
"A what?"
"Momma used to read me them. You not heard." Stiffling a sigh, the little girl plopped down on the floor, picking up a battered doll and forcing it in Shane's hands.
"Uh-" He looked at the doll, taking a seat next to the little girl. "Where is your mom?"
"She-" The little girl sniffled. "She and my daddy in Heaven." Oh no, oh no, oh no. Rascal or not, no one deserved this.
"I'm sorry." Shane swallowed hard.
"S'ok. I see 'em soon." In a heart wrenching second, the biggest smile he'd ever seen appeared on the girl's face. "Grannie says so."
His heart was torn, and he found himself wanting to punch whoever this "grannie" woman was. How could she ever say that to someone as innocent as this little being in front of him?
"How old are you?"
"I turn tree, two days 'go." She smiled, unconsciously lifting up one extra, little finger.
"Congratulations." Still, too tiny.
"How old you?" The little girl picked up another doll, one fully dressed this time. "You look hundred years old."
"I-" He frowned. "Nineteen."
"Oookay." She tossed her current doll to the side, picking up another one. "You play with me now. I never get anyone to play with."
Shane couldn't understand this. One moment, his heart felt guarded, and then the next – completely broken. No one to play with? How?
"I like your hair." He didn't know what to say, but by the child's beaming face he knew he'd said the right thing.
"It stays on my head. Doctor says I keep it for few more weeks." Just that many? Tears sprung into the supposed 'bad boy's' eyes as he thought about it.
How could he have acting so cowardly when he was so blessed?
"You have girly hair." She crinkled her nose and Shane scowled. So, it needed to be cut – he was just too lazy to have it done.
"Not half as girly as yours." Great, great comeback.
And that was how the rest of his day went. Shane Gray spent eight hours playing Barbie, giving piggy-back rides, and playing hide-and-seek with a little girl. He'd officially gone pass Brenda's expectations and won all of the nurses' hearts. Emma had won his. Something that he thought he was going to hate, he turned out to love.
"You come by more, Mr. Periwinkle, right?" It was their last trip around her small room, and with a sigh he placed her little body on the floor.
"Whenever I can." The nurse was coming closer – it was time for Emma's chemo now.
"And you bring me chocolate."
He smiled. "And I'll bring you chocolate."
"And you'll dress in pink."
"And I'll-" Before he went on, he caught himself. For a three year old, she really did have a smart mouth. At his scowl, she laughed, and he kissed her gently on the nose.
"I will not dress in pink, but I will see you soon."
"Not even little pink?" She frowned. Apparently Nate wasn't the only one who knew how to use the puppy-dog look.
"Maybe," Shane groaned. "A little." He could be manipulated too easily.
"Good!" Her musical laugh filled the room again. "And you bring Nate and Jason to see me too, right?" Again, with the puppy-eyes.
"Of course." Shane stood up as the door opened and a nurse walked in.
"Time for your medicine, little lady."
"Oooo." Emma crossed her arms, shaking her head. "I not like."
"But it's time." Shane bent down, looking the little one in the eyes. "And remember I'm bringing you chocolate."
"Fine." She lunged, tackling his leg once more. "I 'ove you."
Shane felt his heart jerk within him. "I love you too."
And not turning back, he walked out and kept walking until he got to his car. And for the first time in three years; he did something he hadn't done since he fell to the grip of publicity. He prayed.
A/N: I know, I know. It's not exactly fluffy or angsty, and it's definitely not romantic, etc. And I know that I should be working on my chapter-fics, but I couldn't help it. Shane being tortured by a three year old little girl? Who can resist it? And it's not exactly an Easter fic either; but I really would like to wish everyone a happy and blessed Easter!
This story is actually inspired by a little series of wonderful one-shots that Suburbs authors. And, one of the little sisters of a girl that I coach has leukemia and loves the JB – So Missy, this is for you!