Oh my God this thing is old. I had to have written this about three years ago during English class and I was looking through old school notebooks and found this. I read it over and wasn't sure if I should post this or not, but even if it's not all that good I thought it was still funny. And yeah, I took the liberty of taking the characters out of their normal behavior.
Naruto belong to one Masashi Kishimoto. Who is not me. Damn.
"Uhhh." I couldn't stop the groan as I try to sit up from my position on the floor. I tried to open my eyes but as soon as I did I regretted it. Apparently I don't deal well with hangovers. After salvaging my will power, I tried to open my eyes again.
I saw something akin to a massacre, and as the legendary Uchiha Itachi, I should know what one looks like. Ripped furniture was everywhere and stuffing from anything imaginable was fluttering around in the breeze created by the ceiling fan. Said ceiling fan was currently supporting a passenger as well. Deidara was limply hanging on by his knees hooked over one of the blades, and from the look on his face I assumed he was about to hurl, so I moved out of that trajectory range. Can't exactly blame him though, he is the one who nearly drained the keg before passing out. Though he wasn't the only one to be a victim of the keg's mighty power. Kisame had actually climbed into the thing and started swimming in it.
And after that had become boring they had switched over to trying to find the worst tasting drink and see who could last the longest. First Leader-sama, who had decided to make Irish Viagras lost because it had actually not tasted all that bad. Next was Zetsu, who suggested that we have Bloody Tampons or something along those lines. Trust Zetsu to know about a drink with blood in the name. I'm not sure exactly sure what was in it except for that he put a napkin in each glass. Everyone got rid of the napkin and drank the crap. But Zetsu had said that you are supposed to put it in your mouth. And I am an Uchiha. Uchihas are supposed to do what others don't dare do. So I drank the red poison and let the napkin go in with it. And then I promptly took the thing out. By kami-sama, that is exactly what I imagine having a slug in your mouth would feel like; slimy and squishy. Even so Zetsu and I won that round; of course he ate the damn napkin like it was nothing.
Next was Hidan, who almost immediately pulled out a bottle of Butterscotch Schnapps and started to add many different kinds of ingredients to each glass. I wish I hadn't downed so many drinks beforehand; I might have been able to identify what they were. After he was done mixing up the mystery drinks he passed them around to everyone. I downed it like the rest of them and thought I was going to die. In the name of all things sacred it was horrible, like I was drinking straight from a gasoline pump. Hidan, I will get you for this. But no matter how awful it was, I refused to show how I felt. Glancing around the table we were gathered around, the others seemed to be trying to do the same. Zetsu was surprisingly one of the first to fail and he ran to pay the long overdue homage of the porcelain god.
Coming out of the fuzzy details of the night before, I looked over to where the puppet master/instigator of the drinking, Sasori, was laying on the relatively intact couch. He looked back at me and gave me a lazy smirk. "Morning, Itachi-san. Did you sleep alright?" Lucky bastard was the first thought that came to mind. Puppet boy can drink all he wants and never get drunk.
Like I said, pretty out of character. But if you think about it, who really knows what's going on in Itachi's head when he's not trying to goad his brother on or steal the Kyuubi? Thank you for reading and please click the pretty button at the bottom and tell me what you think of this!