Disclaimer: Not too long ago, I found out that it was Butch Hartman's idea to have Cosmo's voice be so unpleasant. As far as I'm concerned, Hartman is now one of the 'Biggest Hacks from Hackensack'™. (See also Band, Charles and Montoro, Edward L..)

In that spirit, please don't expect Poof to appear in this story. This is a continuation of my fanfic, "Tricksy". You remember that one, right? Well, look it up, anyway.

Timmy wandered around the library. First of all, he thought to himself, 'What the hell am I doing in a library?'.

A high-pitched titter from one of the stacks caused him to spin his head around. He hurried toward the location where, he was sure, he heard it. Nothing.

The tittering resumed, only it seemed to originate from the other end of the library. Timmy glanced around. He thought about asking aloud who was there, only to suddenly remember where he was.

Another sound became apparent to him: that of shoes clonking on hard wood. Timmy turned in the direction of the noise.

The shoes drew closer. They were Mary Janes. The person wearing them also wore thigh-high socks, a plaid skirt and a tight, low-cut blouse that left little to the imagination.

The girl's dark hair flowed around her. A confident smile crossed her features. Even her glasses were sexy.

Timmy was speechless, fear (and arousal) registering on his face. He backed away from her, yet couldn't help but admire her.

"Take me", she half-pleaded, half-demanded in a lilting voice.

Timmy backed himself right into a table. He fell back onto it. The girl ripped his shirt open. He was still quite scrawny…but this mattered not to her.

She pursed her lips and stared into his eyes. She grabbed the back of his head and smashed his lips onto hers.

After a few moments, she let him go. Timmy stared at her dazedly. She was his, completely.

However, before he could say anything…

"Wake up, sleepyhead! The day won't start itself."

Timmy stared at the girl again, but his look of arousal was gone, replaced by one of confusion. The voice was somewhat deeper, as well as more insistent; a far cry from the unhurried tone Timmy was expecting.

Strangest of all…the voice was male.

"You can't sleep forever, Timmy! Believe me, I've tried."

Timmy awoke from his bed with a start. It was not the library, but his same old bedroom. Staring him in the face were the bright green eyes of his fairy godfather, Cosmo.

"Bet you're excited to see me."

"Not really", the young man replied, still half-asleep.

The being motioned to further down the bed. "Well, you must be excited to see someone." Timmy stared toward his engorged crotch and, hurriedly, covered it with his pillow.

Appearing out of thin air was Timmy's fairy godmother, Wanda. "Rise and shine, sport!"

The young man snuck a glance downward. That first part was definitely a go. He turned to the digital clock on the wall.

"Oh, man. 7:35. I gotta get out of here."

Wanda flew toward Timmy as he rushed to his bathroom. "Would you like us to help you get ready?"

"How am I supposed to get things done on my own if I'm always relying on magic?" The fairy was less surprised than pleased at the response. Puberty had done good things for Timmy, after all.

A few moments later, Timmy emerged from the bathroom. Wanda caught a stray whiff as he passed by. "No shower?"

"No time."

With a wave of her wand, a can of air freshener appeared in Wanda's hand, which she quickly put to work. Meanwhile, Timmy held up two shirts that had been lying on the floor. He sniffed the both of them. The red one, which had been on the floor a couple of days and, therefore, didn't stink quite so bad was chosen over the blue one.

Cosmo inhaled deeply. "Manly, yes, but I like it, too", he remarked in an Irish brogue.

Wanda watched as Timmy ran out the door. So, puberty hadn't done all good things for him.

Timmy rushed past his parents, who sat in the kitchen.

"Morning, Timmy", they chorused together.

"Hey, Mom, Dad", the young man responded with a small wave. He glanced down at the plate of pancakes. "No time for breakfast. I'm running late."

Mrs. Turner took a whiff of the air and grimaced. "Didn't you have time to shower?"

Timmy sighed, then turned toward his mother and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll do it, tomorrow."

"You really should take a shower every day."

"And who are you, the bathing police?", the young man mumbled.

"The permit arrives in three weeks", the woman replied, offhandedly.

Timmy smiled nervously. "See you later."

Wasting no time, Timmy started his used car (a present for his 16th birthday) and made his way to the house of his friend. It hadn't changed very much in the intervening years, but the person who lived there had.

"Hey, Timmy." Behind the door was the girl he had known as Tootie, that is, until he got to know her better. He had learned that her real name was Virginia, but that her more common name came from a rather embarrassing Christmas memory.

"Hey, Virginia."

Virginia sniffed as Timmy walked in. "You know you stink, right?"

"Just the smell of a man. You smell it every day in school."

"I know." She waved a hand in front of her nose. "Why do you think I hang out with you? You shower every once in a while."

"Is that all?"

Virginia thought about it a moment. "Yes, that's all."

"How nice."

Footsteps scuffled quickly down the stairs. Timmy and Virginia walked toward the door, only to find themselves face to face with Vicky. Virginia's older sister was a terror to the two of them in their younger days. While she was still no joy to be around, civility managed to creep into her demeanor.

"Sister. Dumbass."

Vicky took a bite out of her candy bar. The smudges on her fingers indicated that it was melting even as the conversation was taking place.

"Morning, Vicky."

"You're looking…less mannish than usual." The fact was that, even at a young age, Timmy had found Vicky attractive. At times, he felt like telling her so, but, in his view, if she wasn't going to make the effort to be nice, why should he?

The red-head responded with a simple scratch of her nose…performed by her middle finger.

Ignoring the gesture, Timmy shrugged. "Well, shall we off?"

Virginia snapped her fingers. "Damn. I forgot something in my room." She started up the stairs. "I'll be right back. Try not to kill each other."

"I promise nothing", Virginia's friend and sister chorused together. Timmy and Vicky looked at each other in surprise.

Timmy walked around and took a seat on the suede couch. Just before he planted himself down, Vicky tossed her half-a-candy-bar in the path of his behind.

"And just what are you doing here?", the young man demanded, folding his arms.

"This is my house. I should be asking you that."

"You moved out."

Vicky motioned to the surrounding space. "I need a place to crash. Apartments are expensive and the lease on mine ran out."

"Come on. It's a big town. There's plenty of cardboard open to someone like you."

Vicky rolled her eyes. Virginia nearly knocked her down as she passed, her hair done up in an elevated ponytail.

"I'm ready."

Timmy turned around. He drank in the sight of his friend. At that moment, as he had several times in the recent past, he was having less than friendly thoughts about Virginia.

"Tim? Tim!"

Timmy shook his head. "Yes?"

"Are we leaving or what?"

The young man leapt up from his seat, leaving a brown smudge on the cushion. "Of course." He followed Virginia out the door.

The younger girl waved. "See you tonight, Vicky."

Vicky, standing in front of the smudged cushion, gave a slight wave. "Yeah, later."

Virginia closed the door.

Vicky picked up the cushion from the couch and started to lick off the smudge. A little deviant, to be sure, but, hey, chocolate's chocolate.

"Virginia?" Timmy didn't care much about getting into trouble for carrying on a conversation. After all, it was just study hall.

The brunette glanced up from her book. "Yes?"

"Do you…remember when the two of us became friends?"

"Yeah."

"And do you remember what we decided?"

"Yeah: when the two of us were ready to take the next step, we would. Why?"

Timmy couldn't help but sigh; six years ago, this moment was all she ever wanted. Now, it was practically nothing to her. "Well--"

The bell loudly and rudely interrupted him. Virginia gathered her books. Timmy, doing the same, followed her out of the room.

As they passed their fellow students in the crowded hallway, a tidal wave of laughter started following them.

"What I'm trying to say is that…what if one of us were ready for that next step?"

The laughter grew louder.

"One of us what?"

"What?" Timmy shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Tim. It's really loud here. What the hell are people laughing at?"

The clicking of cell phone cameras slowly but surely drowned out the gales of laughter.

Virginia felt her powder blue phone vibrate. She flipped it open and saw that she had a new message. She opened it. It was a low angle, high-resolution picture of a brown stain on the back of someone's jeans.

"Someone sent me a picture of…something."

"Of what?"

Virginia merely showed the picture to Timmy, who chuckled a little.

"Man, I'd die of embarrassment if I knew that guy."

Virginia took another look at the picture. The shirt tail of the person in the picture was red…not unlike the red of Timmy's shirt. She took a glance behind Timmy. A small chuckle escaped her lips as she grabbed Timmy's arm.

"What is it? I wanna laugh, too."

Virginia dragged Timmy into the nearest room, which happened to be a boy's bathroom.

"Virginia, you know you're not supposed to be in here, right?"

She responded by placing a hand over his mouth. She handed him the cell phone with the picture and stood him in front of a mirror.

"Turn around."

Timmy did so. He saw a red shirt, blue jeans…and a brown stain on the seat of the latter. He turned back around and saw the same thing in the picture. His mouth fell open. "Oh, man! How did this happen?"

He looked off into the distance. Like the finale of The Usual Suspects, the sight of Vicky eating a candy bar came back to him. He then remembered sitting down on the living room couch.

Timmy snapped back to consciousness.

"Get it?"

Timmy glanced behind him and down at his pants. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Well, you could either wish the stain away, making people wonder what happened to it in the first place…"

As Timmy moved his lips to make the wish a reality, a pair of poofs materialized before his eyes. It was the message 'Don't do it!' with 'Don't' in pink and the rest in green. Timmy groaned.

"…or you can ride out the rest of the day with that Hershey stain on your butt."

The young man's eyes narrowed. "I really hope you've wanted to be an only child. After school, that's happening."

Timmy stormed out of the bathroom with Virginia grabbing his arm. Unfortunately, his stride was such that all she could do was skid along on the floor.

"Timmy, you can't kill my sister."

"I can. Getting away with it won't be as easy, but I'll manage."

Before Virginia could get another word out, the late bell pierced the silence of the halls. She released Timmy. "We'll talk about this later."

Timmy exhaled as he stomped down the hall.

Sneakers squeaked along the hard wooden floor of the gym. In one part of the gym, some of the girls were engaged in a volleyball game. Virginia spiked the ball over the net. A blonde-haired young man swaggered toward her.

"My darling Virginia…"

The boy's upper crust dialect was like a hot needle in the girl's ears.

"It's so nice to see you again."

"What do you want, Remy?" Another spike of the ball.

"Just to talk…about us."

Virginia was focused on her game and nothing else. "There is no 'us'. I'm not even sure there's a 'you', right now."

"I know I'm not the only person who's noticed how…attractive you've become."

"Yes, because this is the very first time I've been told that by a guy who wouldn't give me the time of day when we were younger."

"But can any of those clowns give you whatever your heart desires?"

"We both know you're in a lower tax bracket these days. The only thing you can give me is a rash." Virginia spikes the ball again.

"You and I would make a great couple. You just need to see that for yourself."

Virginia breaks away from the game, just missing a knockout from the ball. She puts a hand on Remy's shoulder. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm a lesbian. Yeah. Too bad for you." She turns away from him.

"Given that Turner's the only guy you hang out with, I can hardly blame you. Doesn't mean I won't keep trying."

"Oh, goody."

Timmy's literature class wasn't going very swimmingly. The seating was, as for most of his classes, alphabetical, meaning that he would be sitting behind (or in front of, in this case) Trixie Tang.

The teacher's lecture started to sound like a drone, sending many of the students into a stupor.

Trixie glanced down at Timmy's pants, the brown stain still visible. "Ewwww! That's disgusting!"

Timmy glanced ahead at the clock. The second hand actually seemed to be moving backwards. He buried his face in his hands.

"Really, I know boys can be messy, but this is ridiculous."

"I know there's a stain on my pants", he said, whispered, but loud enough that she could hear. "There's nothing I can do about it until I go home, so leave me alone about it."

Trixie waved her hand. "Whatever, dirt butt."

"Wait, you think this is dirt?"

"Dirt, mud, whatever. Just ewww."

Timmy shrugged his shoulders. Could've been worse.

The moment school ended, Timmy rushed toward his car and started the engine. Virginia managed to catch him before he pulled off.

"Timmy, I mean it. You hurt my sister, we're not friends anymore."

His response? Clutching the steering wheel with a grunt.

"I'm not exactly angling to join Vicky's fan club, but…she's family."

"She's gonna be a ghost."

"Come on. You don't mean that."

"Okay, maybe not, but, by the end of the day, one of us is gonna have a black eye."

A black eye was, indeed, inflicted. Unfortunately, the markings surrounded a blue eye…much like Timmy's.

Cosmo, in a wool cap and sweats, floated behind Timmy, clasping his shoulders. "Don't worry, champ", he said in a guttural voice. "She's got you against the ropes. There's still a couple of rounds left."

Timmy broke away. "She sucker-punched me." Given his history with Vicky, he knew better than to infuse his statement with any inkling of surprise.

Wanda floated up to him, water bottle in hand. Timmy took a sip. "Sweetie, are you sure that violence is the answer?" She poofed up a bucket, which Timmy promptly spat into.

"Well, maybe if I use more of it…"

A boxing glove materialized onto Wanda's swinging fist. The punch connected with Timmy's jaw, which sent him onto his bed.

"Okay, so violence isn't the answer…especially if it's against girls." Timmy pushed himself to a sitting position. "Still, why can't Vicky treat me with some respect? She's gonna be my sister-in-law someday. She has to, right?" He sighed. "I just wish she were nicer. To me. To others."

A pair of wands raised and crossed. Several methods had been tried in the past to change Vicky's attitude, all of them unsuccessful. She had mellowed out over the years, making the task much less challenging. Still, there was another way to change someone's attitude, something that Cosmo and Wanda considered when granting the wish.

They just hoped that Timmy wouldn't be too upset about it.