Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Rosalie, Alice and I walked toward the beach. It was a little past dusk—the streetlights danced on and off as the last bits of sun passed underneath the ocean. This time of day was my favorite color, I thought to myself.
I was happy—summer always did this to me, even when shit didn't go the way it should. I had my girls and a tan, and it was easy to look on the bright side.
The first night of August was our tradition—going down to the beach at night and drinking until we couldn't stand. Jacob, my brother, would come find us later and usher us home. This was the last year we would ever do it. Three weeks until senior year. It had been such a long ride.
"You know James got sentenced today?" I asked Rose and Alice, the three of us plopping down into the sand. Someone in the distance was playing some Chicano rapper's mixtape—it sounded familiar, but I couldn't find the words. I laid down, humming along to the beat. It was fat—sort of sleepy, like music on a summer night should be.
"Hay buena noticias?" Alice asked me, flatly. My boyfriend had been caught in connection to a large drug trafficking operation. I knew she knew that there wasn't good news, but I understood why she asked.
"Two years," I sighed. "Could be worse."
"Aquí tienes," Rosalie said, handing me a shot of tequila, pouring one for herself and for Alice. I was grateful neither of them asked me if we were going to stay together. We were going to—of course we would. But it seemed so daunting—I didn't want to think about it, especially not on the first night of August.
Rosalie, Alice and I had been friends since the diaper days—we'd grown up in the same neighborhood—and it had always been exactly like this. Rosalie was the ring leader. I found myself often defending her to people who didn't know her, because she was just so brusque. They thought she was stuck up because she didn't seek out new friends, and they envied her because she was a great soccer player and she was gorgeous.
Alice and I got the real her—her crazy plans and wild sense of humor. Rosalie made life interesting. She'd always been able to get me on board with any plan, and we'd drag Alice with us.
Alice was the level-headed one; she was always there to fix the messes that were made—or call us out on our bull shit if we needed it. She was tiny, quiet and driven. Alice was determined to go to Berkeley. Freshman year she told us that she would need a scholarship to go and that she was going to get one.
I was the crazy one—Jacob always told me that. I could be abrasive—loud and confrontational. But I did my best to take care of the people I loved. I read a lot and wrote a lot—poetic endeavors, they felt like, that I would never finish.
I came to from my daydream to find Rosalie dancing by herself. Alice was laughing, singing the words to some old merengue song I didn't know. The bottle of tequila was empty, and I realized I was a little drunk.
Rosalie stopped abruptly and came to sit down again, "I miss Royce."
She'd been dating Royce King since freshmen year, on and off. But when he got accepted to a school in Florida to play basketball, he ended it—and so far, they'd stayed apart. Rosalie started messing around with one of Jake's friends, Jared, but I could tell it wasn't the same.
I frowned and put my arm around her, "Why? He was such a tool!"
Rosalie shook her head, "Yeah, towards the end…"
"I don't think you miss him," Alice interrupted, slurring her words slightly. "I just think you miss being with someone you really care about."
Rose blinked and nodded, "I want to like Jared, but I just… don't." She said, wrapping her arms around her knees. "It feels stupid."
"You don't have to be with someone," Alice said, shrugging. Rose looked at her strangely—like the idea dawned on her for the first time.
It was hard—and sometimes Alice didn't understand, so I gave Rosalie a squeeze, "You have us, mami!" I said and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. "Isn't that right, fresita?" I asked, reaching for Alice.
She dodged me—rolling away in the sand—which only turned it into an all around brawl. The three of us kicked around in the sand, laughing and squealing until we heard a car pull up.
"Yo!" Jake called from the passenger seat of a car—his friend Paul was driving and I could see others in the back. "You guys want to run a small errand with us then head out to a party?"
"Do you have alcohol?" Rosalie asked. I loved her—straight to the important stuff.
Someone held a Corona out the back window and I shrugged—that was more than good enough for me. We piled into the back seat of the car—Alice sitting in the middle and Rosalie and I perching on two of Jake's other friends, Quil and Embry.
I lived for nights like these—carefree and windy, with the windows rolled all the way down as we flew down the freeway. I felt my phone buzzing, and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I knew I shouldn't.
Where are you? James had asked me.
Beach night with Rose and Alice. I had replied. I don't know why it mattered to him—he was off doing something, and the only people I was ever with were Rose and Alice anyway.
Come to this party at Bree Tanner's
Bella are you coming?
Where are you, I'll come get you.
Seriously?
Bella what the fuck.
Come to the party.
I rolled my eyes at his impatience. I think we're coming, idk. I replied, sinking into Quil's lap. This was exactly the kind of thing that would get me into trouble, but I was too drunk to care and maybe even annoyed enough to have done it on purpose if I wasn't.
"Is this party at Bree's?" I lean forward and ask Jake.
He nodded, "Do you know her?"
"No, but James just instructed me to arrive," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Seriously, fuck that guy, Bella," Paul said as he wove through traffic. I could tell that everyone in the car was in agreement, but I shrugged. That was my baby.
We pulled onto a side street, and up to a dimly lit house.
"I'm going to roll while I'm in there," Jake said, opening the door of the car and hoping out. "So I'll be back in a few."
"Where are we?" I muttered, after letting the silence settle for a few minutes. I look all around outside the window, trying to recognize the neighborhood.
"Just off Whittier in Montebello," Paul said, fiddling with the radio.
"Who the fuck do you guys know out here?" Alice asked, finally piping up from the middle. Rose and I burst out laughing—the question was just so valid.
Paul shrugged and looked at Embry and Quil. But he didn't say anything, and I was immediately suspicious. I looked at Quil—and he knew he was responsible for answering, "Just some Mexican girl Jake has been talking to."
I groaned, "Jacob is not allowed to date."
"A man has needs, hermanita," Jacob said, sticking his head back in the window and laughing. "Besides, I just chill with Leah. She's cool. You'd like her, and her brother Seth."
I didn't say anything else, knowing that Jake was going to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He sparked the blunt, and when Paul passed it to me over his shoulder I took it gladly.
I gave Quil a shotgun, laughing at the huge smile he wore as he coughed. I offered Alice one, who snootily reminded me she didn't smoke, even if it was summer. I didn't question her, just passed the blunt to Rose.
When we got to the party, I was at peace—the air was warm and I was with my homies. What more could a girl ask for, I wondered? We pulled Coronas out of the trunk, and handed them to everyone. Jared, Sam and his girlfriend, Emily, were standing outside, waiting for us. There were others—people I didn't know that well—who greeted me. I smiled and stretched, wanting this feeling to last forever.
I found a spot on the back porch next to Quil. He pointed out constellations to me and told me a story about some girl he had been hooking up with lately. I sipped my beer, wishing for lime, but not enough to vocalize it.
People were inside dancing—hooking up and doing lines of coke off the coffee tables, but Alice and Rosalie were outside trying to catch fireflies. Jared and Embry were trying to catch them. It was childish—but I didn't judge them at all. I loved them for it. A part of me longed to join, but my legs—too high and too happy—wouldn't let me.
"Embry likes Alice," Quil said randomly. We all knew it, and Alice wasn't interested, so we mostly ignored it. I didn't respond, and Quil didn't say anything else.
"Anybody seen my shorty?" I heard a familiar voice call. I sighed—that was me. James' shorty. I waited for him to come along the side of the house and see me, rather than call out. Rosalie and Alice both stopped for a second and looked over at me—I blew a kiss. I was fine.
"Hey," I said as James approached me. He bent over to kiss me sloppily, then pulled me up with him—dragging me inside.
I didn't know any of the girls, but still I tried to sit on the arm of the couch next to them. I didn't want to dance—I was too mellow; a step behind the beat—and I could tell that's exactly what James wanted.
"Girl, what are you doing?" James asked me as he tried to pull me up. "Everyone is dancing, c'mon," he said, holding my hand.
I jerked it away and rolled my eyes, "Where have you been?"
"Taking care of some business," he said, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Tomorrow is my last night."
"Already?" I gulped. He nodded. "Wow."
"I'm going to take you out," he said, taking a seat on the couch as some girl got up. "Make sure you have everything you need before I go."
James' friend Laurent came up to him, asking some question about some girl and laughing his ass off. "Bro, I'm talking to my girl," James said, pushing Laurent away and leaning back.
I felt like sobbing—my mood had changed so drastically, so quickly.
"And then tomorrow night, I'm going to fuck the shit out of you," He said, licking his lips and grinning.
I shivered, and he smiled again, even bigger. He thought I wanted it. I looked down at my hands and found the urge to cringe. I hated when he said things like that. Most of all, I hated when he acted like I wasn't sentient during sex. It wasn't always bad—when he wasn't drunk or in a bad mood, it was good—it could be great. Other times, it was just boring—over too soon and begun too hastily. Too rough and too ragged, it left me feeling used and objectified.
"I'm going to go back outside," I said, standing. He looked annoyed, but didn't argue for once.
I found Quil, still looking at the stars. I sat next to him, in silence, until Embry and Alice came wandering back around.
"Rose left with Jared," She said, laughing. She looked happy. I loved it when Alice looked happy with her whole heart.
We left, too, walking down the street toward Embry's house. It was far enough that we could have complained about the distance, but no one did. I don't even think I noticed. Alice and I cuddled up on Embry's bed; she was asleep in what felt like seconds. I spread a sheet over top of us and pulled off her shorts, before discarding my own. Sleepiness was rolling over me in waves, and I wanted to follow Alice but couldn't yet. I watched Quil bustle around the room tiredly, and thought about the constellations and how mad my mom was going to be that I didn't come home.
Embry fell asleep on the floor, his shoes still on. I laughed and Quil grinned at me.
"Go to sleep, Bella," He directed me.
So I did.