Ok, look. I'm pretty much ill right now. My mind doesn't work as it should...and I play and reed strange stuff. (I like it. If you don't: go away. NOW.)

And I write even stranger things.

Since I'm not in mood to deal with haters I'll just leave it here.

Rating is like that only because I don't feel like censoring it.

Assistance is my OC.

All other characters aren't mine.

Doc's And Assistance's conversation is based on a fan fiction I found there:

fuckyeahsniperthandspy on tumblr

(if you need help with getting there PM me.)

(yeah, there is yaoi. Deal with it.)

on one of last pages. Yes, I'm that ill to look thru all of it looking for nice stuff. There is a lot of nice stuff if you like yaoi anyway.

I have no idea who does this fan fiction belong to, but if owner notices this: You made me lol hard. And it wasn't easy task when you're unable to breath properly...so thank you very much for writing it ^^

Team Fortress 2 doesn't belong to me either but I adore this game. If you want to play with me: go ahead. Nick is Strawberry, just like here.

Have fun.

EDIT: Now, when I think about it...I'll appreciate a review. Really.

Whole idea of Assistance(my idea. here is no such charater normally): They are supposed to do everything. When Engineer gets hurt/killed, they guard sentrys/teleports/dispensers. What they actualy do depends on their abilities. They do get some training but it's more like training for two/three classes they chose. Originaly Assistances were supposed to be prostitutes (gender didn't mattered at all)...but idea changed almost immediately. They became help for all team.

After a nasty accident whole idea of Assistance was given up. It seamed to cause too many problems. Specially since Assistances were mostly females of unknown nationality.

Sun was slowly setting upon Dustbowl. It was really something rare to watch peacefully...when there was no one around. Only desert and buildings. Yeah...and warm wind caressing your tired features. This, and a bottle of nice, cooled beer was all Assistance needed to feel good and actually relax right now.

So what she did? Of course she climbed into Sniper's nest. Not that Terry minded anyway...

He was out just like rest of her team. It was one of those weeks when they all got time off. They all went somewhere...and she was left alone on their side of barricade. No, it wasn't like she wasn't allowed to leave or something. Actually, few of her current teammates invited her over to their places. She politely refused. One thing: her training was over (not that she needed it anyway) so she would be soon moved to 2Fort. And she will finally start to earn some money. Big money to be honest. She of course had a choice when it came to locations of her work. She could have chosen peaceful one, where the only point was keeping the control point for an hour. Oh...or the one, where it was all trying to make bigger damage in enemy's base. Nothing big. And quite stupid if you asked her. So she decided the "intelligence run" was her thing. And it was best paid. Most demanding...but a lot of fun. Humored by idea of meeting new Sniper and Spy and Medic...And Pyro and basically all team she uncapped the bottle and took a swing. Bitter substance felt more than good. She sighted softly. Her training team was fun. But she knew she was better than that. She knew she was one of first Assistances. And she also knew that originally Assistance was supposed to be nothing more than a nymphomaniac whore who's only job was to reveal team's stress after battle. She smirked at that thought. Again, she was more than that (she had nymphomaniac propensity. Sure. But she was no whore. She was an assassin.). That was another thing why she decided to play it professional way. And her employers had to deal with that. She still felt daggers typed to her calf...even when she took them off. She smirked to herself taking another swing of amber liquid.

The re-spawn thing made it all less entertaining but still some odd parties found it entertaining to watch them like that. Nothing new actually. She had been surrounded by weird people since she cared to remember. She even made an effort to learn some psychology to know how to deal with them...and now she was perfectly fine. Twenty-one and perfectly fine. She sighted sitting in window and resting back on frame. It was really nice to send some time alone...with no one bugging you. Just like the damn Demo. She really wouldn't mind if guy someday choked himself with his scrumpy or other shit he named alcohol.

Trying to empty her mind a bit, she scanned surroundings. Well, she knew Sniper's nest was a place with finest view. But she wasn't aware that it was that nice (usually when she assisted as a Sniper she chose other places to camp. This place was reserved for Terry. Even thru he made clear that her presence was welcome.) . She had to admit. View was gorgeous. Even when most of it were BLU's buildings.

She really had nothing against the other team. (No, it didn't mattered that their Engineers seamed to fear her. She was better than their Spy after all.) Sometimes, when she wandered around, she even wondered. What if in 2Fort her team will be BLU? Will they be more twisted than this people here? She was more than sure that if she was to join RED it will be a wicked ride...but what with BLU's?

It seamed exciting but also a bit annoying.

She took another swing. Too much things to think about.

It was the best to let things roll their own way. It always seamed to work the best. Even if it sometimes ended with bruises, wounds and scars. She had absolutely no problem with that.

She was slowly sipping her beer when she noticed something odd.

She furrowed her eyebrows.

Someone, clearly from BLU side, made his way thru battlements...holding a white flag.

That was something new. Right now re-spawn was off so any wound would be permanent...if not deadly. And as much as she cared to learn about other team...most of them had gun in their hands for the first time in their life. So it was highly plausible for this person, who was getting closer to her point, to get killed without even noticing it.

But there was a white flag. Symbol of surrender.

Damn, it was even against her rules to snipe that one who came carrying white flag.

And no, she wasn't pleased.

She liked her mentor's rules. He always told her: "Be efficient, be polite and plan to kill everyone you meet.". And it worked just fine for her. Yeah...somewhere in his life he was a Sniper. So what? He also used to be a spy. Basically...he had lot's of occupations during his life. And he always made sure to share as much experiences with her as he could. Not that she minded. That tricks of his soon became useful during her "great hunt" last year, in Germany. Who knew. Maybe Will was also in 2Fort? It might be nice to meet old Nazi again. Oh damn...he wasn't so old. He was no more than twenty seven when they met. Only seven years older than her.

She let her mind wander off, still keeping an eye on moving blue intruder.

Her arm was itching to grab Terry's huntsman and arrows. She wasn't brutal. It was all about being in some kind of a war. Since the beginning of her life to be honest.

But she fought it back.

Still, she watched as distressed BLU Medic approached line of clean shot.

He was German. Just like all of Medics running around. In training teams there were at least four people of each class in a team. But she was more than surprised to discover that she was the only Assistance in her own team. And only female Assistance around. More. ONLY female around. Well, leave alone BLU's Pyro.

But back to her guest...

At first he seamed not to notice her. He was glancing around.

-H-hallo? Iz zhere anyone?

She smirked, letting her legs hang loosely from window she was sitting in.

-Yeah.-She emptied her bottle and took another one. -I am.

That made Medic quickly glance in her direction. She smiled softly. Man was probably a bit older than her and even from that distance he looked tired. Nevertheless he tried a small smile when he noticed her.

-Hallo, Frau Azzistance.-He also pulled a bottle from bag he was holding.-Do you mind companion?

How could she say no to person who looked unarmed and offered vodka? She returned small smile and gestured toward ladder.

-Come up here BLU Doc. But be aware.-She pointed a finger at him, pretending it was her beloved colt. Her smile fell for a while.-One funny move and they'll have to scrub your mind from wall.

Medic only snorted and shook his head while climbing up to her. He decided to take place next to her, on the floor. Soon she joined him.

-Frau Azzistance, I'm perfectly avare that you are vay more of a fighter zhan Ich bin. I vouldn't rizk my life.

She nodded and her soft smile returned. She offered him a bottle of beer.

-Seems fine to me. For a warm up.

She curiously watched as German cautiously took bottle from her and eyed it. Then he grinned.

-Mein Gott...it'z been zo loong since I had a real beer. Zhank you.

-Ahh, no problem.-She leaned against crate of, thank heavens, empty jars. Terry kept his jarate somewhere else. And she wasn't really interested in where it might be hidden.-Old friend of mine keeps sending me that from time to time. And I don't complain.

-Good friend you haf. -Medic carefully uncapped his beer and took first sip. He sighted contently. -Knowz vhat'z good.

-Sure he does.-She titled her head. -Oh. And stop calling me "Miss Assistance". You can as well call me "woman" or "female".-She frowned.- I'm Arcady.

BLU took her extended palm and shook it lightly.

-I'm Victor Nize zu meet you in person, Arcady.

She curiously lifted an eyebrow at Victor, small smile never leaving her lips.

-Oh? So I'm famous in BLU's base?

Medic nodded and took another swing.

-Inzeed. Zince you are only Frau here, it zeems natural. Aber zhere are alzo stories about your abilities. Engineerz say zhat you're better zhan mozt of spies zhey had zu deal vizh. And you made one of unzer Znipers cry.

Assistance chuckled.

-No way. That one who I head-shot ten times in a row?

-Ja, zhis vone.

-Oh my...-She pouted.-I didn't intended to.-"He just came in my way."-Say sorry from me, ok?

-Zure.

After two more beers and half bottle of vodka it was much easier to talk.

-So. Why did you came here anyway, Vicki?

Assistance was in good mood but still sober. And German seamed content with yet another bottle of beer she gave him. He looked at his bottle for a while and than sighted deeply.

-I had really bad veek. I missed zhe plane home, next vill be no faster zhan next veek so I gave it up. Und one of unzer Zpy und Zniper just pulled zhe trigger.

-Oh?-Assistance lifted an eyebrow at it. She knew Spies and Snipers were better to keep separately. Even if they were in this same team they tended to get aggressive toward each other. Something about being "natural enemies" perhaps. And it was funny how their features mixed in her in harmony when separately, they had really problems to exist, let alone cooperate with each other. -Mind telling me what exactly happened? We probably also have this kind of problems here. Maybe I can help?

And Medic was new. Transferred here only two weeks ago. He was a good Medic. But not a battlefield one. He also knew a little of what was actually going on. He was smart. But he was no spy-type just like some of other Medics who liked to know as much as possible. Even when it involved a vivisection.

-Vell...I zuppose I can tell. Zpecially zince you vill be leaving us soon. -He sighted again and took off his glasses. That made Arcady smile. A little. -Zhose two are Dummkopfs. Zhey tried zu zell me zhat zheir relationship vas only professional.-He shook his head.- Zhey were fucking each ozher. Und after a vhile zhey realized zhat zhey have non-ztop sex drive for each ozher.

-Tried to give them bromine?-She lifted an eyebrow. But after a while she gestured to him o continue.-And?

-Nein. I vanted zu but zhere vas no need. In zhe end it occurred zhat all zhey needed vas zu cuddle und be zoft zoward eachother. But you know...It vas amuzing how zhey almozt throwed themselvez at eachother. Even vhen I vaz around. -He chuckled a bit. -Zeriouzly. Like catz in heat.

She also chuckled. It was probably far too amusing. After a while she calmed down and glanced at Medic.

-I see...But I still have no idea what made you so disgusted at the beginning, Doc.

He waved his hand in the air, scowl forming on his thin lips.

-Zhey told me zhey made it everywhere. Including my desk. Tvice.

She furrowed her brows and handed Victor vodka.

-Ouch. I would probably at least sterilize that desk.

Medic lied down on the floor.

-I zid. Ten timez before I handed it out zu Pyro. 'e vas more zhan happy zu burn it.