Zoe Hatton

1/29/12

Andy's homework: a "Toy Story"

[Andy and Ms. Davis are each holding ends of a soup can phone, on either side of the table. Underneath the table/sitting down in front of it, Woody and Buzz hold up a toy phone and "tap" into the conversation]

SCENE 1: [Characters are frozen in position. We hear the phone ring.]

Ms. Davis: Hello?

Andy: Hey mom, it's me! For homework all I have to do is write a story, so I was thinking I could come home this weekend.

Ms. Davis: Well okay, if that's what you want. I'm babysitting Bonnie though, since her parents are out of town. Are you sure she won't be a distraction?

Andy: No, that's fine. I've been struggling for ideas with English, so this will be perfect. Did she bring the toys over then?

Ms. Davis: Why don't you ask her yourself?

[enter Bonnie, who grabs Ms. Davis's end of the receiver]

Bonnie: (teasing) My toys are all here, but you can play with them if you want.

Andy: Tha-anks.

Bonnie: What are you going to do with them anyways?

Andy: Well I might need them for a story. You can help me think of ideas, like the evil Dr. Porkchop threatening Barbie with death by monkeys, and Woody coming to the rescue at the end!

Bonnie: No thanks, I think I'll play tea by the Eiffel Tower. Bye now!

[Puts down receiver, exit Bonnie and Ms. Davis. Andy and Woody also put their phones down, and Andy leaves the scene. Woody and Buzz stand up. They hi-five in their excitement.]

Woody: I can't believe it! Andy's coming home for the first time in a month!

Buzz: (Coughs, becomes more serious. Speaks in his "important" voice.) This is good news. We should inform the gang immediately.

[Rex crashes in through the "door." Mr. Potato Head, Ken, Slinky, and Hamm follow. Mr. Potato Head is holding an "ear" out, which he puts back on.]

Mr. Potato Head: We're ooone step ahead of you. Bonnie dropped us on the kitchen floor to talk with Andy, remember? Guess you were too busy eavesdropping to pay attention.

Rex: Yeah, we caught you guys listening without us!

Woody: (nervous laugh) Sorry about that…Where's Jessie and Barbie by the way?

Hamm: Still out playing tea with Mrs. Potato Head. You want to come up with a rescue plan so we can get going?

Ken: Women. Taking up our valuable decision time. What do they think they're doing at a time like this?

Buzz: (Points his arm to their new direction, so the group can get a move on.) Let's just get this over with. To infinity and beyond!

Slinky: Hey…wait up you guys. My coils are still tangled…Guys?

SCENE 2: [Mrs. Potato Head is busily tapping her heel, while Trixie the triceratops is typing away at her computer. Jessie and Barbie are tugging hard on the zipper to Andy's backpack.]

Mrs. Potato Head: (Puts her hands on her hips and talks directly to the audience.) What the girls are reaaally doing. (Winks at the audience. Turns to Barbie and Jessie.) What in the world are you two going about?

Jessie: (Turns away from the "zipper," leaves Barbie still tugging. Speaks to Mrs. Potato Head in a southern drawl.) We're pulling on the zipper of Andy's backpack, to get a look at the rough draft for his story. Maybe get a grade sheet too.

Barbie: Yeah, and this zipper isn't going to pull all by itself. A little help here, Jessie!

Jessie: (rolls her eyes) All right, here I come. Yeeehaw!

[Barbie and Jessie tug and jump, and almost fall over. A big sheet of paper flies out. Trixie types louder and louder at the same time.]

Barbie, Jessie, and Trixie: Got it!

Mrs. Potato Head: What did you find, Trixie?

Trixie: I just looked up Andy's assignments online and found all the criteria we need here. Let's see, it says we need a true story, or a "memoir." In depth, insightful…

Jessie: (Supporting a large sheet of paper with Barbie)Blahbadee blah blah. We have the teacher comments right here. Read 'em Barbie.

Barbie: You got it, sister. Ahem. (In her actor's voice) Andy: your story about playing with toys as a young boy is very interesting, and gives the reader some insight as to how you became a storyteller. Each toy seems to have its own personality. I would like to see some of these scenes from the toys' point of view, especially Woody.

Mrs. Potato Head: Ooo did you hear that? Andy's writing a story about us! We have to go find the boys and go tell them!

[SCENE 3: The toys are holding a meeting in Andy's old room. Hamm is in the center with the etch-and-sketch, with Woody and Buzz on either side of him. The other characters are sitting in a circle and listening: Slinky, Rex, Mrs. Potato Head, Mr. Potato Head, Trixie, Jessie, Ken, Barbie. Ken and Barbie are excited to see each other and sit together in the circle.]

Ken: Where were you Barbie? We were looking for you all over the place!

Mr. Potato Head: And by "we," Ken means just him.

Ken: No one asked for your opinion, potato head.

Hamm: All right, listen to me folks. We need to plan a course of action. Andy's assignment is due in less than twenty four hours, and he only has one page written down since he started. Slinky, you said you Andy's mom sounded worried. Tell us what you heard.

Slinky: (rubs his paws together) Well, she said that using toys for a story wasn't a very good idea, and that he should change stories if he wants to be taken seriously.

Woody: But he doesn't have time for that! This is the story that Andy wants to write, and we have to help him.

Hamm: And that folks, is why we are having this meeting. The floor is open to suggestions.

Jessie: I just don't see how we can help him. This is his story, it's not like we can just write it for him.

Buzz: …Or maybe we can.

Mrs. Potato Head: What? We can't do that! It's his grade, his homework. Besides, how are we going to do a thing like that? Andy would never turn in work that wasn't his.

Woody: {Thinks hard, stroking his chin)…Unless. Unless he wrote it a long time ago.

Buzz: What do you mean?

Slinky: Yeah, what do you mean by that, Woody?

Woody: (Gets excited and starts pacing the floor, then takes over the etch-and-sketch) Well, Andy has only written about the times he's played with us, but who knows more about our own adventures than us? I'm talking about the beginning, right when Buzz first got here, back when we still had Bo Peep, and we met the aliens.

Jessie: That doesn't sound fair! What about us?

Woody: Well that's the thing. We need him to think the story is his. And we need to go as far in time as possible for him to think that. We need to write the story on paper in his old handwriting.

Mrs. Potato Head: Nah-ah. He's not going to remember writing it because it wasn't his. You can count me out.

Mr. Potato Head: You took the words out of my mouth. Anyone else leaving?

Ken: Come on Barbie, there's no place for us in Andy's story. Let's go find my dream house, maybe take a ride in the red corvette.

Barbie: Sounds like a plan to me.

[Exit Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. Barbie and Ken. Trixie and Jessie get up, but Jessie looks back one more time. ]

Woody: Where are you guys going?

Jessie: We're not in the story, Woody. But good luck.

Rex: You too, Trixie?

Trixie: Bonnie's been looking for us for a while now anyways. I think we can go back and play the decoy. I'll talk to you later, VelociSTAR237.

[Exit Trixie, Barbie, and Jessie]

Woody: Anyone else?

Buzz: Calm down Woody, we're not going anywhere. But Mrs. Potato Head made a good point. How do we get Andy to believe the story is his?

Hamm: I've got an idea.

[Exit all. End scene.]

[SCENE FOUR: Woody, Buzz and Slinky go back on stage.]

Slinky: (Leaps into the air a couple times, with a large piece of paper rolled under his arm. Sounds impatient.) Remind me why we are doing this again.

Woody: Because, Slinky, we need to get the story into the attic so that Andy will think he wrote it back when he was a kid. You're the only one who can reach the door.

Slinky: If you say so…

Buzz: All right you big softie, we need your help and you want this to work for Andy as much as we do. How about we just toss you into the air?

[Buzz and Woody each take a hold of one of Slinky's arms, and pretend to launch him into the air]

Slinky: Swoosh! Boing! I made it, look at me, I'm flyyyiiing!

Woody: Wow, look at him go.

Buzz: (Crying tears of joy) He just makes me so proud, he's just, he's a space cadet.

[The sound of a door opening.]

Woody: All right, the stairs are down. Slinky, stay down here and keep an eye out in case something goes wrong. Bark if you hear something.

Slinky: Aye aye, sheriff. Here, you should take this. [Hands Woody the roll of paper.]

[Exit Slinky. Buzz and Woody pretend to climb the stairs. They stand up behind the podium, and set the roll of paper on top.]

Buzz: (loud whispers) Now what?

Woody: Now….now we make some noise. (Pushes one of Buzz's buttons)

Buzz: (Straightens up, says in a "toy" voice)" To infinity, and beyond!" (Buzz frowns, pushes his button off) Hey, why did you make me say that? (He pulls the back of Woody's string.)

Woody: (Says in a "toy voice") "There's a snake in my boot!"

Buzz: No, not that one, that's not the one I wanted. (Pulls Woody's string again)

Woody: (In "toy" voice) "Reach for the Sky!" (Frowns and puts his hands on his hips) Hey, what did you that for? We already made some noise. I'll show you, el Buzzo?

[The sound of loud steps, enter Andy, who should walk stooped and try to look shorter. Keep in mind that the toys are in the "Attic" by the podium, and Andy is below them in the "Hallway."]

Andy: Hey, what was that?

Woody and Buzz: [Face each other, shush each other] Shuussh!

Woody: (loud whispers) C'mon we have to hide!

[Exit Woody and Buzz. Andy climbs up to the podium]

Andy: …What is this? (Opens up the roll of paper, starts reading it in "podium" voice). By Andy Davis, "A Toy Story." (In his regular voice) Did I write this? When was this? And why don't I remember?

[Enter Ms. Davis, who "walks in the hallway" instead of the "attic"]

Ms. Davis: (Yells up at the podium/attic)Hey Andy…what's going on?

Andy: (Yells "downstairs") I think just found my story idea!

[Exit Andy and Ms. Davis]

THE END