"Liar"
You said that there was no such thing as a perfect first.
I'm not sure what made you say that. Was it because you didn't want me to expect too much? Or were you speaking through experience?
Well, now I can tell you through my experience that that statement was a lie. You've lied to me.
Because, yes, maybe it wasn't the 'perfect' anyone would have anticipated. But it didn't have to be.
To me, perfect was the stumbling and stammering as you finally confessed. The drumming of my heart as I took it all in. The joy of seeing that blush on your face.
It was the moment when I saw the softness in your eyes, the vulnerability, the fear. I never thought that fear could exist in you. But it did. And all I wanted to do was push that away. Push everything away and hold you until it was just the two of us left.
We were so close. Our bodies. Too close to break apart even if we wanted to. Thank god neither of us did. And when you began to lean in, my breath stopped. I think you saw it. You saw that I was scared. That's when you said, "Just close your eyes." And I did.
Even though I had time to mentally braced myself for what was coming, I still jumped when the gap between our faces were filled. I felt you. Tasted you. It was. . .awkward to say the least. My mouth fumbled clumsily against yours. My mind whirled into panic mode, wondering about what should I do, wondering if what I was doing was right. It's a stressful thing really, first kisses. It was nothing like those novels I read. I couldn't tell if your lips were soft or if you were even enjoying it. Hell, I couldn't even tell if I was enjoying it.
The only coherent thought that jumped out at me was that I was kissing you. And you were kissing me back.
"Soul. . ."
"Hm?"
Such a lie. Such a terrible lie.
"It was perfect enough."
End