It was the night before christmas
And all through the base
Not an Akatsuki was stirring
Behaving for once in this case
With their stinky socks hung up
On the mantel with care
In case old saint nick came
If he dare
The members were nestled
In their binds and beds
While visions of Jinchuriki
Danced in their heads
And Konan in her nightgown
And I in my cap
Had just gotten to bed
For a well-deserved nap
When out in the village
A huge boom came
I sprang from my bed
Knowing the others were to blame
Away to the window
I ran with a glare
Kicked out the glass
And hurt the guard bear
The moon on the breast
Of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day
To objects below
When what appeared to
My eyes through the fog
But a weird little shed
And eight tiny frogs?
With a really old driver
A perverted old dog
I groaned, knowing
It had to be Jiraiya Claws
More quick than Haku
His warty friends came
And he whistled, and laughed
And called them by name;
"Now, Naruto! now, Sakura!
Now, Kakashi and Rin!
On, Minato! on Obito!
On, Sai and Sasuke!
To the top of the bath house
To the top of that wall
Now dash away, dash away
Dash away all!"
Like Kyuubi on a rampage
Causing things to fly
The sleigh had to stop
And fell from the sky
So barely landing on
The base roof they flew
Carrying sleigh full of Ichi-Ichi Paradise
Oh Jiraiya Claws too
And then in a second
I heard the roof meet
The prancing and pawing
Of their stinky feet
As I slowly drew in
And then turned around
Down crashed Jiraiya Claws
In a single bound
He was dressed up in Santa
From his head to his foot
And his clothes were ripped up
And covered in soot
A sack of goodies
He had on his back
And he looked like a burglar
With a lock-picking pack
His eyes how they glistened
His dimples how scary
His cheeks were like a rose
And his nose a cherry
The stump of a pipe
He held tight in his teeth
And the smoke it encircled
His head like a wreath
His mouth was a creepy grin
A perverted smile
Of course he didn't expect
A huge dogpile
As all my members
Came out of the hall
His broad face twisting
As he attempted to crawl
Out away
From the maniac men
I call my minions
In my Akatsuki den
Tobi kicked him
Deidara bit
Kisame punched
While on him Itachi sit
Sasori stole the bag
While Hidan screams,
"Jashin is god!"
Hating Christmas it seems
Kakuzu growled
And Zetsu drooled
He pretended to be friendly
But even Jiraiya was not fooled
Konan came over
As finally Jiraiya stood
He looked for an exit
If only he could
But Tobi hugged him
With all of his power
He held on tight
For about an hour
Before the old one fell
Down onto the ground
Then silence fell
Not with a single sound
Zetsu picked him up,
"I'll fix the man!"
"Ha," said Deidara,
"To eat him's his plan."
So I sighed and left
As my Akatsuki hit and fought
Some peace and quiet
Was all I sought
Out of the window
I saw the sleigh fly
Up, up and away
Up into the sky
So with that this story
Ends with this;
"Merry Christmas to all
My butt you can kiss!"