Chapter 1: A Spooky Start
Sitting atop Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town's shoulder, Pikachu gave a deep sigh. Yet another boring daytime forest trek, this time through a generic green forest in Sinnoh. Man... how many of these had he been through in his life, anyway? Had the animators no more backgrounds to use? Could they not draw up any new interesting locations for the gang to visit!? So lazy...
Looking to his side, the mouse saw Brock and Dawn, with Piplup on the latter's shoulder. They all looked far happier to be here than Pikachu was, for reasons he couldn't decide for the life of him.
Before Pikachu could take in his surroundings any more, Dawn spoke. "So, why're we here again, Takeshi?" she asked.
Everyone looked around in confusion. When Brock noticed that she'd looked at him while asking that, he snapped to attention. "O-Oh, right, yes! We're travelling through here because I hear there's cool place to stay for the night."
Ash's face brightened significantly. "Whooooa! A cool place! What kind of cool place!?"
"They say that it's an old castle which used to be haunted by spooky spirits."
Ash gave a dramatic gasp and jumped backwards in fright. "Spooky spirits!? Wahhhh!"
"That's right, Satoshi!" Dawn added, winking in her usual girly manner. "So you'd better be careful if you don't wanna be spooked!"
He screamed. "Spooked!? Grwaghhhhh!" He melted.
The humans gave him a mildly shocked look. Pikachu, who'd been on his melting trainer's shoulder, just stuck his tongue out in disgust. Ash's body gunk was covering his feet. Eww, not again...
"[I totally wouldn't be spooked!]" Piplup said proudly. "[Because nothing scares me-]"
Ash snapped back to normal, making the penguin scream and tumble off Dawn. "So!" he exclaimed, now back to normal and standing next to Pikachu. "When're we getting there?"
"Any second now, Ash!" Brock replied. "In fact, I think we're just about there! Just gotta go past the path over there!" He pointed towards a dirt road in the distance.
"Awesome!" Ash rushed towards it, flailing his limbs on the way.
After rolling his eyes, Pikachu looked into the distance. He brightened up in intrigue when he saw the large, old-looking building on the horizon. Oh, wow, it really was a castle, wasn't it? And haunted too, eh? Sounded exciting! Maybe it would even be better than that haunted mansion that was in a different place in the games. The one that'd only been haunted because Rotom had visited it briefly. Afterwards, it'd been a normal mansion... but Pikachu had gotten gateau out of it, so he'd still enjoyed himself. Now, though... maybe he'd get to see some actual ghosts!
Smiling, he walked up to Piplup. The penguin was busy picking himself up and pretending nothing had happened.
"[I can't wait to prove to everyone just how not-scared I am!]" Piplup boasted, flippers to his hips.
All of Pikachu's pokémon friends wandered closer to him and the penguin. At least, all the ones that were probably set to appear in this episode.
Ambipom laughed at the penguin. "[Yeah, right! I bet you'll wet yourself!]"
Piplup smirked proudly. "[Of course I will! I am a water-type, so I'll wet myself proudly! Heck, maybe I'll even get everybody else w-]"
"[No,]" Buizel said.
Ignoring Ambipom's laughter, the penguin stomped his foot angrily. "[What!? Don't interrupt my amazingness when I'm talking!]"
"[Hmph!]" Buizel huffed, arms crossed and head turned away.
Piplup huffed proudly. "[Well, even if you don't care, I'll still be the biggest drip!]"
"[That's wonderful, dear,]" Togekiss replied, smiling pleasantly.
"[Haunted castle! Ghosts! Scary!]" Pachirisu babbled while constantly doing backflips. Afterwards, it randomly jumped forwards while spinning. Doing that, it accidentally whacked into Piplup, knocking him over.
"[Aghh, my excellent face!]" the penguin screamed. "[Darn you, Pachirisu!]"
"[Oh no! I'm sorry I hitted you too much hard! Wooooo!]" Pachirisu exclaimed, crying.
"[Aww, that's okay, dears...]" Togekiss said, patting them both on the head while smiling pleasantly.
Piplup grumpily picked himself up while Pachirisu's head triangle changed size again.
Oshawott - an overly-romantic otter that'd recently started following Ash, due to popular demand - laughed at Piplup's pain. "[Haha! That's what a jerk like you deserves for trying to steal my...!]" He paused. "[... Well, you haven't tried stealing girls from me yet, canonically... but still, screw you!]"
Piplup flailed around angrily. "[What!? No, screw you! You're a bigger girl-stealer-to-be!]"
"[No way! Grrr!]" Oshawott ran forwards and started slapping Piplup, who began to slap back.
Snivy - a snake who was also here by popular demand - stared at the scene sadly. "[Why won't Oshawott notice me...?]" she sighed. "[In the two or so times we've interacted on the show, I think I'm ready to say that it's true love.]" She then remembered her personality, and grumpily crossed her arms in a cool manner.
Pikachu rolled his eyes. Why didn't she just admit her feelings, though? She was basically Buizel V.2, so she had enough confidence to go for it. Then again, her personality often changed randomly depending on the situation, so who knew? Either way, her crush was fairly subtle, but Pikachu was easily able to detect it. He was an expert on noticing love, after all!
Croagunk and Mamoswine both stared at the scene without emoting even a little bit.
Emolga - yet another pokémon who was here by popular demand - stood next to Snivy. "[Hey, Snivy~? Watch this~]"
She winked, causing hearts to pop out of her eyes and float towards Piplup and Oshawott. The hearts continuously circled the two boys, who stared at them in confusion instead of dodging out the way, or reacting. After a short while, they slammed into the penguin and otter, causing them to fall in love with Emolga immediately.
"[Apples, pleeease~!]" Emolga chimed, smirking evilly.
"[At once, milady~!]" the two water-types sang, running away to the nearest apple trees they could find. Seconds later, apples rained down into Emolga's open mouth. She became very happily fat shortly afterwards.
As the two water-types returned, now out of their trance, Snivy huffed and posed sassily. "[Yeah, well, your Attract is second rate! Watch this!]" She jumped high into the air and, after several flips and a stylish pose, fired off her own hearts. They hit Piplup and Oshawott in the exact same manner. "[Now kiss! While I totally don't wish that I was Piplup, or anything.]"
The otter and penguin began to make out immediately. Pikachu spotted their eyes going back to normal after a short while, but they didn't stop kissing. How odd.
"[See? My Attract is far, far better!]" Snivy gloated. Emolga, who was thin again, gave her an angry look in response.
Pikachu huffed in annoyance. Not only at Snivy's personality doing a complete one-eighty, but at the predictable Attract antics, too. Why was it that Attract was getting spammed so often, these days? It only served to remind him that he and all of his friends kept getting hypnotized on a daily basis.
"[Pikachuuu~!]" Buneary chimed, hopping over to the mouse. When close enough, she rubbed her head against his like she often did... for some reason that he wasn't entirely sure of.
"[Hey, Buneary...]" he replied exasperatedly.
She squealed happily. "[Pikachu, you're the absolute cutest mouse in the world! You're so hot I could diiiiie!]"
He tilted his head. Huh? Well, he understood the 'cute' statement, because most of the world found his species very adorable, indeed... but he was so hot she could die!? His face couldn't have been that warm, could it? Then again, her cheeks did look very red, and she was covered in fluff. Silly rabbit, rubbing faces when she was nearly cooking to death.
He didn't want her to get dead, so he leapt away from her. Despite crashing to the ground afterwards, she didn't seem to care. She just stared up at him with her usual pink loveheart-filled eyes. She really needed to get those things checked.
Speaking of lovehearts in the eyes, Oshawott - who'd stopped kissing Piplup - had begun to stare lovingly at Buneary, Ambipom, Emolga and Togekiss. Notably, he blatantly ignored Snivy. "[Ohhh, cute girls!]" he chimed. He ran up to them and produced some flowers from behind the seashell on his belly. "[Heyyy, ladies~! You're all very pretty today~]"
Ambipom gave the otter a perturbed look. Buneary ignored him to make another attempt at mashing her face against Pikachu's for some reason. Emolga just shrugged sassily. Togekiss smiled pleasantly.
Croagunk's eyes lit up all of a sudden. Fingers glowing purple, he lunged forwards and slammed his fist into Oshawott's butt with all his might. The otter was launched screaming high into the sky.
Brock shook his head disapprovingly. His squinted eyes lit up when he saw a generic-looking brown-haired lady in normal clothing, however. All of a sudden, he rushed towards her and pulled a very macho, yet flamboyant face. "Why, what is a beautiful young lady such as yourself doing all the way out here?" He delicately gripped the lady's hands. "You're perhaps the most charming sight in this forest, and-"
Before he could continue flirting, Croagunk turned on his heel and slammed his fist into Brock's bottom. The breeder was launched into the same direction that Oshawott had been launched into.
The female character of the day gave a slightly surprised gasp. Shrugging, she turned to Dawn. "Why hello, there! My name is Jane Doe. Pleased to meet you!"
"Awesome! My name's Hikari," Dawn replied. "I'm hoping to become a top coordinator, and-"
The two of them began to talk amongst themselves in a very pleasant way. A very boring pleasant way. Seriously, did the humans have to introduce themselves fully each time? They weren't even having an interesting conversation. Just pleasantries!
Pikachu glanced at his pokémon friends. They were all doing their usual antics, as always. Except for Oshawott, who was still blotting out the sun... though that had been because of his usual antics, too. The usual flirting antics that weren't technically supposed to happen yet, but whatever. Piplup was still being egotistical... Buizel was still being overly grouchy, except for those random times he was very peppy, instead... Buneary was still acting very unexplainably odd around Pikachu and nobody else... Croagunk still hated Brock's romantic flirting... Togekiss and Mamoswine were still acting overly boring... Ambipom was still being a jokester... and, of course, Pachirisu's and Snivy's personalities were as inconsistent as ever. Nothing was out of the ordinary. It never was, these days.
Pikachu tried to perk up. Oh well. Maybe things would get more interesting when he got to the castle! He, along with everyone else, began to walk in its direction.
As they got close, he noticed that all of the trees were... still filled with leaves. And completely devoid of pokémon, like the rest of the forest. Tsk. He'd hoped that the trees would be all spooky, and leaf-less. Almost like skeleton trees, or something else you'd expect to see in a horror-like setting. Oh well...
As they neared the dirt path that Brock had mentioned earlier, the bushes nearby rustled. Shortly after, three people emerged from them. A man with purple hair, a woman with crazy pinkish purple hair, and a meowth. The two humans had white clothes on, with an obvious patch over their fronts. All three people seemed very friendly.
"Why, hello there, twerps. Er, I mean... everyone!" the woman said with a warbled voice that seemed familiar yet very different.
"We're here to inspect all of your pokémon!" the man said with a very raspy, flamboyant voice.
The meowth gestured towards an open cage. "Yeah, so get in da... 'inspection box'!" he said in perfect, Brooklyn-accented English.
"Awesome! Pokémon inspection!" Ash yelled, suddenly in the group again. "C'mon, guys, get in the inspection box!"
Everyone, Mamoswine included, eagerly climbed into the cage. Even Oshawott, who crashed into it from above.
Once everyone was inside, the door on the cage closed. Pikachu and everyone else gasped. What the heck!?
The three friendly people peeled off the patches on their clothes, revealing a red R on their chests.
Everyone gasped even louder. Pikachu, however, just frowned tiredly. Oh no... darn it, at least once per episode this had to happen, didn't it...?
"Prepare for trouble!" Jessie started.
"Make it double!" James continued.
"To protect-"
"Hey, yer doin' da wrong one! Dis ain't Kanto!" Meowth complained.
"Oh, no wonder our voices were giving me an earache!" James responded.
"Cut the chatter, or I'll give you two an even bigger earache!" Jessie shouted, making them both squeal. "Okay, from the top... Listen, is that a voice I hear?"
"It's speaking to me loud and clear!"
"Meowth, dat's right!" Meowth said, wrapping up their motto.
Pikachu wiped the sleep from his eyes. Oh, finally… Was there really no other way for the animators to use up a minute of an episode? And... wait a second, that wasn't how the Sinnoh version ended, was it? He half-considered correcting Meowth, if only because he'd been the one to originally complain about it being the wrong motto... but he was afraid they would repeat it, so he stayed quiet.
Ash, who'd been standing around patiently, came to life. "Team Rocket!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, pulling very exaggerated expressions.
"Your perception of the obvious is as amazing as ever, I see!" Jessie replied.
"Yet the only thing I see here is us capturing Pikachu!" James added.
"Dat's right!" Meowth added. "And it'll see its way all da way to da baws' office!"
Trying to ignore Buneary clinging to his arm out of fright, Pikachu cringed. Man, he hated their sense of humor so much. Especially since he could never understand half of what they say, because they rambled at the speed of sound with their weird voices.
He perked up slightly as something occurred to him. Wait… this meant that there was a chance something interesting could happen! Probably not massively interesting, seeing as it was only Team Rocket… but it'd be something at least, surel-
A motorcycle suddenly rammed into Team Rocket from the side, launching them high into the sky. They rambled for several seconds before becoming a star in the heavens.
… Pikachu sighed. Alright, forget about that, then…
"Oh dear…" Jane Doe muttered. "Maybe I should've mentioned the Spirit Cycle that we drive around the castle five times a day. To ward off evil spirits."
"Evil spirits!?" Ash screamed. "Whoooooaaaaaaa!?"
"Who drives it?" Dawn asked while opening the cage.
"Our pokémon do, of course!" Jane Doe replied. "In fact, I'll introduce you!" She waved her arms and called for the pokémon.
The motorcycle from before began to reverse slowly into view, revealing a human-like figure clad in black riding it. Stopping the bike, the figure slowly removed their helmet, revealing a smiling skitty. "Nyah!" she exclaimed.
"She likes to assume that everything is an evil spirit…" Jane Doe explained, "so you have to be careful if you want to cross the Mystic Dirt Road and not get mowed down."
"Nyah!" the cat responded happily before putting on her helmet. She drove away down the dirt road, doing a wheelie in the process.
"That's so awesome!" Ash shouted, excitedly balling both fists and smiling widely.
The remaining humans began to talk amongst themselves. Their conversation was boring, so the camera began to focus its attention on the pokémon's wacky antics. Almost as if to entertain the small children watching.
"[Skitty's too spooky too much! Scary!]" Pachirisu whimpered, now balancing precariously on Mamoswine's tusk.
"[That's a shame, dear,]" Togekiss replied, still smiling pleasantly.
The squirrel leapt off Mamoswine's tusk and ran towards Oshawott on its two legs. Without warning, it impishly stole his shell and ran away. "[Pachirisu numbah oooooone!]"
Oshawott screamed and ran after it. "[What the heck!? Come back here, cute maybe-giiiiirl!]" he screamed.
Snivy sighed sadly while watching the otter run away. "[One day… One day…]"
"[Hmph!]" Buizel said, crossing his arms and turning away.
"[Hmph!]" she replied, copying his gesture in the exact same manner, almost as if completely forgetting about Oshawott.
Piplup laughed at Oshawott's misfortune. That is, until Ambipom came along and shoved a bundle of apples into his flippers before running away. The penguin stared at them in confusion until Emolga came along, an angry look on her face.
"[Aha!]" she cried, pointing at him. "[So you stole my apples, mate!]" She let loose a generic electrical attack, frying the screaming penguin. Ambipom laughed at the scene like the troll she was.
"[Pikachuuuuu~!]" Buneary exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him as if oblivious to everything that was going on.
Pikachu clicked his tongue. She really needed to pay more attention to her surroundings. Not that there really was much to pay attention to, admittedly. Just more of the same old shenanigans that happened every single episode. Nothing new or exciting… No new villains who stuck around for more than one episode or pointless arc… No depth to his friends' personalities… No new locations that actually felt new and interesting… No interesting battles, even though they battled more than they talked to each other, most days… Doing nothing but helping random strangers with a stupid problem. Usually one that was so trivial that it made people change the channel immediately. Especially since most of the problems were automatically fixed by beating up Team Rocket…
… Wait a second. They hadn't been asked to help out with anything yet. And Team Rocket had already been beaten up! Pikachu's eyes lit up. Awesome! Maybe this meant that-
"Actually, we need your help with something, Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town!" Jane Doe said, suddenly. "Our plumbing is awful, and we need someone to fix it! All the pipes have holes… and they're the exact same shape and size as those three people that were just blown into the sky."
"Awesome! Plumbing!" Ash exclaimed, producing a monkey wrench. One that was, naturally, shaped like a mankey.
… Pikachu sighed yet again. This time, much harder than before. "[… You know what? I'm… gonna go for a walk, or something.]"
"[Can I come with you, my absolute beloved?]" Buneary asked, hugging even tighter.
His eyes widened. Huh… he didn't know that she was such a big fan of his character. Especially since he'd become so bland since Johto had ended. She must've been one of those people that liked Pikachu just because of his species. Being the mascot of the series, though, he couldn't say he blamed her too much. They had chosen a real good mascot! Take that, Clefairy!
All the same, he shook his head. "[Um… no thanks, Buneary. I've gotta… help… er… the plot,]" he said, edging away from her.
"[Aww, alright,]" she replied, letting go of him. She waved tenderly. "[Please come back soon, you absolutely sexy mouse!]"
Sexy? Most people described him as cute or adorable, but that worked too, he guessed. She must have been a furry, or something. "[Yeah, see ya!]" He walked onwards, deeper into the forest. He passed by Croagunk, who was busy staring at his reflection in a random pond that was nearby.
Pikachu envied him. At least he was watching something better than his stupid show.
Oh well… perhaps there would be entertainment in the forest! Heck, maybe it would turn into one of his Pikachu shorts. Those always had lots of imagination! A little too much, at times, but they were still interesting enough! Even if the narrator was very, very patronizing when she showed up, and even if all the ones in Sinnoh had never been translated into English.
Smiling lightly, he made his way to the rest of the forest…
TO BE CONTINUED!
Finished: 01/01 (January)/2018
Word count: 3,218
VGS2's pointless notes: Remember my old cringey fic, 'It's An Alright Life?' Well, after one chapter, I basically quit it, due to laziness and wanting to focus on Read 'em And Cringe. However, what the heck, I'm gonna completely reboot it! Into two separate fics, in fact! (Though I'm not telling you what the other rebooted fic is! That's for you to figure out on your own!) Either way, hope you enjoy this complete reboot! :D
… Y'know, it's the second time I've rebooted a fic into two separate fics. I have a knack for doing that, apparently. XD
Fun mistakes of the day #1: 'Before Pikachu could take in his surroundings anymore,'
(Oops. Because I didn't put a space between 'any' and 'more', it now looks very final. Like… he'll never take in his surroundings again. Did he get blinded? XD)
#2: 'The one that had only been ahunted only because Rotom had visited it briefly'
(Rotom likes to hunt mansions, apparently. I like to imagine that he's packing heat with a rifle, or something.)
#3: 'The girl gas'
(Oh no. Don't let that Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus read this. I dread to think what he'll do. O,o)
#4: 'She then remembered her personality, and grumpy crossed her arms in a cool manner.'
(Apparently Grumpy, either one of the seven dwarfs or the Care Bear, became female and is here now. For some reason.)
#5: 'She winked, causing hearts to poop out of her eyes'
(…)
#6: 'he lunged forwards and slammed his fist into Oshawott butt with all his might.'
(Honhonhon!)
#7: "Prepare or trouble!"
(You can only choose one!)
#8: 'A motorcycle suddenly rammed into the Team Rocket from the side, launching them high into the sky.'
(This just makes me imagine that there's a Team Rocket for each episode. Like… every time they get blasted off, they actually die and get replaced with another Team Rocket. XD)
#9: "All the pipes have holes that're in the pipes that're in the exact same shape as those three individuals that were just blown into the sky."
(… What? It sounds like you need M.C. Escher more than you need Ash Ketchum. )
Alrighty, with that, have a great day and a Happy New Year, folks! And tata for now! c: