So, He Stares
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Disclaimer: I'll say it again, slowly this time. They…are…not…mine. There, got it now?
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She often catches him staring. She always questions him about it, he never answers truthfully. He'll either say 'nothing' or simply shake his head. He likes to keep things simple, that way she doesn't wonder to much about it. If he let things get complicated who knows what she might figure out.
He doesn't know why he stares so much, or why he makes it so obvious when he does. Maybe it's because he still finds it so perplexing that no matter how tired, how long she's worked, or how messy her hair is she always looks beautiful. Not that she could ever not look beautiful. But, still, the way she always looks so radiant has never ceased to amaze him and he imagines it never will.
He knows he can't have her, that's why he stares, he guesses. When he stares he etches every contour of her face, every eyelash, every pore, into his mind. That way, when he closes his eyes, or sleeps, he sees her. Maybe he shouldn't do that, see her every time he closes his eyes, but he can't help it. He's in love. He shouldn't be, but he is.
He finds himself waking up in the middle of the night because of his dreams, his dreams of her. Sometimes they're wonderful, in his dreams is the only place the two of them can be together. Sometimes, they're anything but, all the possibilities of their jobs come crashing down, and in those dreams he can't save her like he normally does. Those are the ones that wake him, sometimes crying, sometimes shouting.
He has trouble saying goodbye everyday, even though he knows he'll see her again the next morning, or maybe even before then, which happens frequently. When duty beckons they always come running, no matter what time it is.
He catches her staring at him sometimes too. He never lets on though, he knows it would be embarrassing for her. But, every now and then he'll see her watching out of the corner of his eye, and he'll smile. She'll ask why he's smiling, or what's so funny. He never gives her a straight answer. She never seems to care.
He loves the way she always laughs at his jokes, no matter how bad they are. And the fact that when she does laugh, it's never a giggle, it's always deep and rich. And when she smiles the room always seems to have a different glow. He can't help but stare when she smiles.
He loves the way she so passionate about her job, of course he is too, but with her it's different. When she's working she devotes herself 100% to the task at hand, and nothing will get in-between her and finishing the job. No matter how dangerous it could get. Because their jobs are after all, dangerous. Most of the time she doesn't even seem to care. He loves that about her too.
They're at work now, doing what they do best. Well, she is, he's just…staring. Her brow is furrowed, she's deep in thought, her lips are pursed together, the way they normally are. He can't get over the fact of how beautiful she is. She scribbles something down, and runs a hand through her short hair, sighing. They've been working for hours. The bags under her eyes tell him that although she denies it she's tired. But, tired has never slowed her down before so she's not going to let it now.
She goes to grab her coffee and notices him staring, "what?" She asks with her eyebrow raised, like she usually does when she catches him staring.
He shakes his head, "nothing."
She looks at him as if she doesn't buy his answer, she always does, but she goes back to her work anyway. She knows that he won't give another answer besides that. He never does, but she really doesn't care.
He watches her for a bit longer, every now and then he sees he look up quickly and then look back down, to see if he's still staring. She smiles when she does so, a small, sad smile. Sad because she knows as well as he does, there could never be a them. At least not anytime soon.
But, he loves her anyway. Despite the fact he shouldn't, or that he's not allowed. He could never stop loving her. He knows that he can't have her. So, he stares.
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a/n: so what do you think? Good, OK, horrible? Tell me please. I'll understand if you don't like it. I am, of course, writing this at 3 in the morning. I took a big leap with this one, I'm not sure about it at all. I normally am. Anyway, please review.
You know, I've not done one of these fics in awhile. So, hope you like it. I actually started writting it for another show, but then decided to do it for this one, too. And, in the end decided to do it for another show as well. I don't know if maybe that's dumb or whatever, but I just thought that it went well with all three shows, so what the hell. Anyway, tell me what you think of it. Please. I'm a bit worried about this one, you know wondering if it's good or not. I'd really like some input.