Summary: Yami, Bakura, and Marik have completely worn their hikaris out. Luckily, a friend is there to help. She is going on a road trip in America and she wants the yamis to tag along. What happens when Bakura sets off fireworks at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington DC on the Fourth of July? When Marik nearly gets his head decapitated by a trolley in San Francisco. How about Mardi Gras in New Orleans? If you want to find out, you'll just have to read because I'm sure as hell not going to tell you.

A/N: Hello, um...yeah. So, this isn't the first fanfic I've posted on here, but I hope you like this one. And read my other one as well, "The Palace's New Residents." It's equally as funny (at least in my opinion). So that's about it, on wit the story!

Chapter 1 Tired Hikaris

At the Kame game shop...

"Cruel Toaster of Evil, I banish you to the Shadow Realm! Begone!" The Pharaoh yelled, clad in his black shirt and leather pants...and belts...and bracelets and wristbands...and other stuff.

"Pharaoh, what are you doing?" Yuugi asked still wearing his blue pajamas with the stars on them.

"This Toaster of Evil must be punished!" The Pharaoh yelled pointing an accusing finger and the Demonic Assassin of Wheat Bread.

"*Sigh* What did it do this time?"

"Oh, it was HORRIBLE, Yuugi! It burned my toast! And it was mocking me!"

"Okay, one: it's your own fault the toast was burned, and two: 'mocking you?' What's that all about?"

"My fault? MY fault? How dare you, Yuugi! I am the Pharaoh, and I do not, I repeat, DO NOT make little mistakes such as burning toast!"

"Would you forget about the toast for a second? How on Earth is the toaster mocking you?"

"Ah! See? SEE? It's doing it again! It's mocking me!"

"Pharaoh...that is your reflection. The toaster is not mocking you."

"My reflection? Well, the toaster isn't doing a very good job of reflecting. My hair is not that big."

"Yes it is."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Ugh."

"Still, you burned my toast! Now for your penalty game!"

"Oh no..." *BANG!*

"Ha! Victory is mine!"

"Pharaoooohhhhh!"

"Oh dear."

"That's it! You have destroyed seventeen toasters in the past month! You are now officially banned from eating toast!"

"Huh? But Yuugi, what am I going to eat for breakfast?"

"Meet your new best friends. Cereal and Milk, Pharaoh. Pharaoh, Cereal and Milk. Get to know each other."

"Uh, Yuugi? What am I supposed to do?"

"You pour them into a bowl, get a spoon, and eat them."

"What? I can't eat my new best friends! That's like eating Anzu!" The Pharaoh whined latching onto Yuugi's leg. "Actually, that might not be such a bad thing." At that moment, Sugoroku Mouto entered the kitchen, clad in his overalls.

"Morning Grampa."

"Morning Yuugi. Er, Pharaoh..." The Pharaoh was currently whimpering and cutting off the circulation in Yuugi's leg. "Um, Yuugi? What happened to the toaster?"

"Guess."

"Oi, not again."

"Yes, again."

"No! Why the toaster? I have to have my morning toast or I can't go on!" Sugoroku whined gripping onto Yuugi's other leg.

"Argh!" Yuugi yelled in frustration.

At Ryou's house...

"No Bakura! Don't let that bird into the house! *Sigh* Too late..."

"I shall not lose to your species again, bird!" Bakura growled getting in the bird's face.

"Oh no...he's got the cooking oil. I'd better go get the fire extinguisher."

Ryou opened the utility closet and pulled the fire extinguisher off the wall. When he walked back into the kitchen, he immediately ducked when Bakura lit the bird on fire and its guts flew everywhere. The remaining carcass was burning in the sink, and Ryou quickly sprayed it and then set the fire extinguisher down on the floor. He glared down at Bakura, who was rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Bakura, you are not allowed in the kitchen for the rest of the day. Go into the livingroom, sit on the couch, watch TV, and don't move from that spot." Bakura slowly got up and wobbled into the livingroom. He slumped down on the couch and wheezed from laughing so hard. Ryou shook his head and sighed. He was brought back to reality when he heard the doorbell ring. "Please don't be Marik." He opened the door and instead of seeing the tanned blonde psychopath, he saw a pale brunette with blue eyes. Her shoulder-blade-length hair was messily put up in a loose bun and she had sunglasses propped on her head.

"Mornin' Ryou-kun."

"Ohayo Ari-san," Ryou breathed out.

"Let me guess. Bakura?"

"Mmm hmm."

"He lost another glaring contest to a bird?"

"Mmm hmm."

"He set it on fire and its guts splattered everywhere?"

"Mmm hmm."

"What kind?"

"Pigeon."

"Eww. That's the worst kind."

"Mmm hmm."

"You banned him from the kitchen?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Ryou, I'm hungry!"

"You can't go in the kitchen."

"What makes you think I won't just sneak in when you're not looking?"

"Because if you try that, I'll be forced to take Stanley away again."

"No! Not my lighter, Stanley! Don't take it out on him!" Bakura yelled jerking up on the couch.

"*Sigh* I'm bushed."

"Hey, Ryou! Why didn't ya' tell me Ari was here?"

"I thought you would have figured it out when I told her good morning and even said her name."

"He had vodka didn't he?"

"Mmm hmm." Bakura got up from the couch and strolled, well, wobbled over to Ari. He wrapped his arm around her neck and leaned on her.

"Hey Ari...what's up?" He breathed huskily in her ear.

"Bakura, you reek of booze. Did you know that?"

"Yeah. You like?"

"Sorry to spoil your fun, but no, I don't like."

"Aww, come on, babe. Don't be like that."

"Why don't you go watch TV?"

"I will, only if you come watch with me."

"Alright." *Ring ring*

"I got it." Ryou said lazily.

"Well?" Ari asked.

"It's Malik."

"I'll call him. Then it can be a three-way."

"A threesome?"

"Yes, Bakura...a threesome," Ari said sarcastically and rolling her eyes.

"Jackpot!" He yelled flopping down on the sofa and thrusting his fist in the air.

"Mind if I join you guys?"

"Ari? That you?" Malik asked.

"The one and only."

"Cool."

"What's going on, Malik?" Ryou asked.

"Hold on, someone else is calling," Ari said.

"Hello? Ari-san?"

"Yuugi-kun? What's up?"

"The Pharaoh blew up another toaster."

"Ah. How many are you up to now?"

"Seventeen."

"Damn. The Pharaoh has issues."

"So does Bakura."

"And Marik."

"What happened to you two?"

"Bakura set a pigeon on fire after losing a glaring contest."

"Marik didn't take his pills this morning. Need I say more?"

"Yikes," Yuugi said shuddering.

"You guys must be exhausted," Ari said.

"Yes," Yuugi breathed.

"Mmm hmm," Ryou nodded.

"Uh huh," Malik said.

"Hmm...I think I have an idea."

"What?" Ryou asked.

"I can't tell you guys now. The four of us have to meet somewhere. The Yamis can't know."

"So, where are we gonna meet?" Malik asked.

"Ryou?" Yuugi asked.

"My kitchen smells like shit and pigeon guts."

"Did you just curse?" Malik asked.

"You sound so surprised."

"Yuugi?" Ari asked.

"Grampa's lecturing the Pharaoh about how he shouldn't blow up household appliances, and he looks like he's about to cry because Grampa took his deck away from him."

"We wouldn't wanna see that bad soap opera."

"Should I even ask, Malik?" Ryou said.

"Marik is giving himself a swirly, Isis is having a conniption fit, and Rishid is going to get her some Midol."

"I guess we have no other choice. We'll meet over at my house," Ari said.

"I dunno. What about the Yamis? We can't just leave them by themselves," Yuugi replied.

"They're coming, too."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah."

"Marik is a destructive idiot. He's even worse when he's with Bakura," Malik said.

"I am well aware of that. There's nothing valuable at my house, so if anything is destroyed, I won't miss it."

"Okay," Ryou said hesitantly.

"My house in a half hour."

"Okay. Bring the Yamis?" Malik asked.

"Bring the Yamis."

"We'll see you in a half hour then," Ryou said hanging up.

"Cool," Malik said hanging up.

"See you later," Ari said also hanging up.

"Er. Umm..." Yuugi stammered. There was a long pause. "Doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore?" He asked before hanging up.