August's sun is unforgiving. As is the ridiculous number of social norms everyone is expected to inherently know, something Erina is starting to realise.
Erina waves at another gaggle of giggly juniors and tries not to flinch at the way they practically trip all over themselves at the gesture.
It's straining. Erina tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, feeling a bead of sweat run down her nape.
A cool shadow casts itself over her left arm, and she turns to greet the one who'd cast it.
Aldini looks impeccable as always, a customary smile pinned to his face. Usually it's less practiced, but even he is affected by the terrible heat, it seems. His bangs stick to his forehead, and his tie looks more like a chokehold.
But his voice is as usual, calm and clear. A simple greeting, then an immediate launch into his aim of chasing her across the lawn: an invitation out this Sunday with Yukihira and Tadakoro-san, would she be interested?
Erina tilts her head in enquiry, learnt and practiced. Aldini proceeds to elaborate. Tadokoro-san would like to go to the city to check out some recently opened stationery shops, while he had some business with the music store. Yukihira happened to be free, but two men and one lady seemed like a bad balance, so we were wondering if you'd like to come along to help balance it out?
Erina hesitates, unskilled. Wouldn't she just be in the way? But if so, why would they have come especially to ask? Surely it wasn't just a careless, spur of a moment thought; no, even if Yukihira may be capable of that, neither Aldini nor Tadokoro would have let him.
After a few seconds, Aldini pipes up again, albeit softer. Actually, it was all an excuse. At that, Erina blinks, confused. Aldini continues to say that to be honest, Tadokoro-san had wanted to hang out after the promotional exams, to get to know Nakiri-san better, perhaps even browse some mangas and chat together?
But oh, how nerve wracking it could be to speak to someone without knowing their schedule, and what if Nakiri-san felt bad that she couldn't accommodate her and that only soured their relationship further and she was still so bad at asking - and so, Winter break had passed, as had half of the term. Yukihira had eventually volunteered to ask in her place, but no doubt he would have been an uncouth oaf - Aldini huffs and Erina suppresses a grin - so Aldini had come instead.
If she didn't accept the invite, Tadokoro-san would be horribly disappointed, Aldini later adds as an almost afterthought, looking away towards the sky. Erina feels her heart leap to her throat, scrambles through the guides and magazines in her mind for a perfect, correct answer.
Then he turns to her, smiles and asks for an answer. Her answer is immediate, as is his returning beam.
He tells her great, he'd love to stay and chat but his next class is starting in ten minutes, see you Sunday!
The way he smoothly leaves no room for argument is reminiscent of someone more brash and annoying. But before she can clearly put that into words to remind Aldini about the dangers of hanging around one person too much, he's left.
Watching Aldini run off to an opposite building, her arm still raised in a half wave, Erina ponders idly about how effectively one person can rub off on another and wonders if that will happen to her, too.
.
.
.
[Nakiri Erina has been added to BEING CHEF IS SUFFERING]
[6.30PM] megumi ✿ : Welcome to the group Nakiri-san! :)
[6.30PM] the blond twin : Welcome nakiri san
[6.32PM] gucci shades : ayyy nakiri
[8.47PM] Nakiri Erina : Hello. Thank you for adding me.
[8.47PM] gucci shades : why so formal wwww
[8.48PM] megumi ✿ : You're welcome! :D
[8.48PM] megumi ✿ : Takumi-kun said you'll be joining us this Sunday! :D
[8.48PM] the blond twin : She did
[8.49PM] the blond twin : 11am at the train station btw. Forgot to mention that, sorry
[8.49PM] gucci shades : wwww
[8.49PM] the blond twin : Stop that
[8.49PM] gucci shades : WWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[8.50PM] the blond twin : Insufferable irl and over texting
[8.50PM] gucci shades : WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AGGRESSIVELY
[8.52PM] megumi ✿ : Wwill it be too busy at the train station?
[8.52PM] gucci shades : LMAO YES TADOKORO
[8.52PM] gucci shades : JOIN ME IN TERRORISING TAKUMI
[8.52PM] megumi ✿ : It was a typo! :(
[8.55PM] the blond twin : yukihira ¬_¬
[8.55PM] the blond twin : tadokoro san we can meet at the benches near the entrance if so! And dont worry about the typo
[8.55PM] the blond twin : Not your fault yukihira is
[8.55PM] the blond twin : Yukihira
[8.55PM] gucci shades : whaTS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
[8.56PM] the blond twin : :)
[8.56PM] megumi ✿ : takumi kun Haha, ok :D
[8.56PM] gucci shades : TADOKORO
Nakiri Erina is typing...
.
.
.
[ read 11.21pm ]
.
.
.
Saturday seems to stretch itself out on dates Erina wishes it wouldn't.
Her legs restlessly rearrange themselves beneath her, creasing her silk sheets. A pile of manga sits forgotten, attention replaced on the bright screen of her smartphone.
Tilting her head up, Erina sighs at the translucent fade of the canopy. Sinking into the plush headboard, she droops her head to one side, away from the plain screen.
Even behind a screen and miles and miles away, words elude her.
Right timing, right words, right expressions and right reactions. When to smile, when to laugh, when to pout, when to sulk, when to leave and say no and draw a line. Always a what next, is this enough, is this too much, too little, is this right?
The unspoken rules of a world she hardly participated in sneers at her.
Such a fine line to walk on.
Gripping the phone, Erina wonders - not 'what if's and 'could been's and other silly possibilities, but rather 'can i's.
The afternoon sun cutting through the draping canopy, blanketing itself across her lap, keeping her eyes from closing and losing herself to the darkness of the basement, lulls to her sweet words Erina isn't sure she's allowed to believe.
.
.
.
[10.23PM] megumi ✿ : Don't forget we're meeting at the train station tomorrow at 11am! :)
[10.23PM] megumi ✿ : I heard it might rain so we should probably all bring an umbrella :O
[10.23PM] gucci shades : its summer
[10.23PM] gucci shades : im gonna scream at the rain
[10.23PM] gucci shades : to fuck off
[10.23PM] gucci shades : i want the sun
[10.23PM] gucci shades : end our suffering
[10.24PM] gucci shades : end rain
[10.24PM] gucci shades : bring
[10.24PM] gucci shades : back
[10.24PM] gucci shades : the
[10.24PM] gucci shades : sun
[10.24PM] megumi ✿ : I'll hang a teru teru bozu for good weather! :D
[10.24PM] gucci shades : teru teru bozus aint got shit on me
[10.24PM] gucci shades : im gonna fight the goddamn rain
[10.25PM] the blond twin : So thats why my phone is blowing up
[10.25PM] the blond twin : Also: hello pseudo zeus
[10.25PM] gucci shades : what
[10.25PM] gucci shades : 'preciate the compliment about me being a god but
[10.25PM] gucci shades : what
[10.25PM] the blond twin : a) not praising you, so go deflate your head
[10.25PM] the blond twin : b) zeus is the greek god of sky, lightning and rain, idiot
[10.25PM] gucci shades : not my fault ur jokes are niche and bad
[10.25PM] the blond twin : HOW DARE
[10.25PM] megumi ✿ : So casual wear tomorrow?
[10.27PM] the blond twin : ...Ugh
[10.27PM] the blond twin : tadokoro san yeah, usual is fine :)
[10.27PM] gucci shades : tadokoro ayyyyyyyyyy
[10.27PM] gucci shades : takumi B))))) rekt
[10.33PM] Nakiri Erina: See you tomorrow.
[10.33PM] megumi ✿ : See you tomorrow, Nakiri-san! :D
[10.33PM] the blond twin : see you tmr nakiri san :)
[10.33PM] gucci shades : b there or b square
.
.
.
Standing alone and fifteen minutes early to her first outing with, dare she say, friends, Erina feels like she might have just skipped the tutorial stage and dived off the deep end against the final boss.
Erina discreetly takes a few deep breaths in and out. Flattening out a palm against her skirt, she prides herself in the way her hand does not shake and betray her anxiety.
A cheerful call grabs her attention, and she looks up to spot Tadokoro waving, the sweet smile on her face complementing her pastel outfit nicely. In contrast, Erina thinks maybe she should have gone with something less girly, to match her stiff facial muscles and sweaty palms.
Yukihira is right behind Tadokoro, sporting a tank top with the words "SUN'S OUT GUNS OUT" emblazoned on it boldly. Erina isn't able to fully appreciate the lettering. She understands the theory to sound trendy, appealing and supposedly sexy perhaps, but in actuality, it's just a bland statement of fact, is it not?
Erina decidedly keeps this boring thought to herself. It is not a proper conversation starter, that much she knows. Moreover, she doesn't want to be the raincloud pouring all over their party.
Tadokoro is positively glowing when she nears Erina, saying how glad she is that she didn't make her wait, it was a good thing to leave early after all! She continues about how it was so nice seeing her outside of school, and she was so glad Nakiri-san decided to join them today.
Yukihira is a step or two behind Tadokoro, and customarily greets Erina with a two fingered salute, stating how it was so odd to see her outside of school, but hey, it made for a nice change of pace. His grin eases out the non existent edge to his tone.
Erina flusters for a second, overwhelmed by the sudden two conversations bombarding her. She decides on regurgitating a semi formal greeting, before thanking Tadokoro for inviting her out.
As she flounders as to how to best continue the conversation - think, think, think, the weather, their clothes, where are we going, what are we doing today, there's so much to say why can't you say anything - Aldini jogs up to them, slightly out of breath.
He greets them and comments about how everyone decided to show up early in a single, slightly broken breath. Tadokoro cuts off an apology for being early at Aldini's chastising glance, smiling guiltily for nearly indulging in her bad habit again.
Yukihira laughs, and comments about how Aldini should treat them all to drinks since he made them wait. For like five minutes, Aldini retorts quickly, and they all arrived before the agreed time, anyway. Tadokoro is hiding a smile behind a hand, clearly used to the bickering boys.
Erina stands dumbfounded. She wants to greet Aldini - it is only right to do so. But she can't seem to find an opportune moment to cut into his 'argument' with Yukihira, and even if she could, wouldn't a greeting at this time just seem weird and out of place?
Belatedly, Erina realises she's missed her timing to not only greet Aldini, but also unintentionally ignored Yukihira from earlier.
Eventually, Tadokoro steps in. It was time to go, she pipes up. There were quite a few places they wanted to check out, wasn't there?
Yukihira jolts. There's a new boba stand he wanted to check out, he exclaims. He'd helped the owner repair his ice cream machine a few days ago was promised a free drink. Aldini's eyes light up, and their conversation easily flows, tone shifting, as disjointed as the two topics were.
Tadokoro looks at Erina and gives her a helpless shrug, an exasperated smile on her face. Almost as if she were teasing the duo and their antics.
But Erina isn't so sure. She isn't that good at properly reading one's behaviours yet, not when light hearted atmosphere was something she was still trying to grasp. Perhaps Tadokoro meant it in a more insidious manner - but this was Tadokoro and she was incapable of nary a mean thought, Erina thinks, trying to quieten down the demon inside her mind.
Surely, Tadokoro was acting out of fondness, towards the boys, towards her. So Erina puts on a small, confused smile, and forces her fluttering heart to settle when Tadokoro perks right up and grabs her hand.
As they make their way into the city proper, Erina thinks maybe she isn't made out for laidback outings or to make friends after all.
.
.
.
Their first stop is an electronic shop. Yukihira excitedly barrels in, Aldini hot on his heels, a hand outstretched in vain to keep the redhead reeled in.
It takes some time for Erina to absorb the glossy interior and polished displays of latest games and monitors. It's dizzying to witness all these bright packaging and flashing screens. Almost as if she herself were in one of the loudly labelled 'NEW' games.
Taking a few unsure steps into the store, she looks around uneasily. There had to be something a beginner like her could understand. Maybe a monthly pamphlet or computer mouses? They sold those here, right? Or would they be in a mouse shop? A pet shop?
When she'd snapped out of her muddled thoughts, Erina realises with horror that Tadokoro seemed to have wandered off as well. She represses the need to start frantically whipping her head around to search for the girl and takes another few steps ahead instead.
A sales assistant chooses this very inopportune moment to swoop down and loudly ask if she needs any assistance. Erina flounders. She doesn't. But to reject the help offered would be rude, and something she shouldn't do, right? But if she did say she needed help when she clearly didn't how would the conversation proceed?
Among the whirlwind of thoughts, a shelf catches her eye. With an escape route in hand, Erina curtly shoots the assistant down like a knee jerk instinct. She's mildly impressed at the way the retail worker's smile only flickers for an instant, like the fluorescent lights above.
Inwardly flinching at how rude she sounded still, Erina smoothly moves around the worker and hurries towards the aforementioned shelves.
Erina released the held breath only when she had slipped into the aisle, out of sight. Along the entire aisle, neatly hanging row by row were all sorts of earpieces and headphones. Erina blinked. She hadn't known so many existed. They were simply devices for convenient communication and entertainment, were they not? But, she thinks, this was probably how this little niche market grew. Entertainment was such a lucrative field, if this store's existence didn't already prove such.
A sudden question coming from her left snaps Erina out of the business model of gaming companies and their designated audience. Tadokoro is looking at the devices with curiousity as well, but Erina thinks it isn't for the same reason she was, most likely.
Tadokoro repeats her question, mistaking Erina's silence for confusion over a missed question. Did something catch her eye? Oh. Erina turns to look back at the wires and bits of plastic.
The wire of Hisako's earpiece had been fraying for some time, and the secretary had been meaning to look into purchasing new ones, but had been too busy to do so. Erina had thought it would have been nice to get a pair for her now, considering the luck and chance of stumbling upon it.
But what would be good, she doesn't know. Like food, she analyses, there must be a difference between all the prices and brands. But a bigger number did not necessarily reflect quality. Neither does size, shape or form.
Erina dares a glance at Tadokoro, and finds the blue haired girl already staring at her in patient anticipation for an answer. The words lodge in Erina's throat.
She has to be decisive. Sure. In her answer. In her words. She must know what she wants and how to get it. She must tell Tadokoro what she wants to hear. No inappropriate questions or phrases. Just clear, direct instructions.
But Erina has run out of those. She hasn't even prepared any for this outing. She hadn't known what course of action would be good to take in an unfamiliar battle ground, so she had come unprepared.
Foolish. Foolish, foolish, foolish.
Why was she so foolish?
Erina sucks in a breath, unnoticed. She is good at being unnoticed in her anxiety. She is good at a lot of things, but social interactions are not one of them.
And neither is Tadokoro.
Erina finds herself blinking rapidly at this new thought. But - Tadokoro had been so at ease this whole time. Was it possible - Perhaps Tadokoro would understand her predicaments -. Was this just some desperate attempt at clinging onto a silk thread -
Still the thought has offered the string, and Erina grabs at it.
"Actually -," Erina flinches a little at how strained she sounds. She clears her throat and tries again. "Actually, I was thinking of getting a new pair of headphones for Hisako. Her - Her old ones appear to be quite worn out."
Tadokoro bursts into life. "Oh! I see!" She claps her hands together. "That's so nice! Can I help you look for one?"
Erina takes another breath. Here it goes.
"To be honest, I was hoping you would. I am...not well versed with all these devices. I am not sure what would be fitting and of quality."
"Of course!" The way Tadokoro so readily accepts Erina's flaw in not knowing is a numbingly ecstatic moment. Erina forces down the sudden lump in her throat, turning her attention back to the earpieces.
"I know how you feel. There's so many types. When I spilt water over my keyboard and had to get a new one, it was the same for me. I think my brain just gave up when I asked a sales assistant for help and they pointed out they had another two shelves of keyboards!" Tadokoro says. "Luckily, Souma-kun helped me out with that."
Erina stills. "Will we have to ask Yukihira for help on this matter as well?" She asks cautiously.
"Oh no." Tadokoro shakes her head. "I know my way around this. I've been through enough of these to kind of know which ones aren't good."
Erina allows her shoulders to slack a little in relief. She wasn't sure how many more instances of possible mocking at her inadequateness in public settings her heart could handle.
"Does Arato-san have any preferences?" Tadokoro asks, looking at Erina.
"She uses a lot of earpieces." In fact, Erina doesn't ever recall her friend using anything else. "But i'd like to gift her a pair of headphones. I don't believe sticking little pieces of plastic into your ears is good for your eardrums. That, and headphones better noise cancelling and quality, no?"
"You aren't wrong about that." Tadokoro giggles. "You're very thoughtful, Nakiri-san."
Erina blushes. She doesn't really think so. It's more of evaluating prospects and choosing the best.
But someone as kind as Tadokoro would never think of it that way. Unlike her.
"I'd recommend this pair, then." Tadokoro picks a pair of headphones off its plastic hook, and hands it to Erina.
Erina takes it with a critical eye. It's a deep purple, with what appears to be extra cushioning around the ear pads. Or maybe that was just placebo from the words on the packaging.
"This brand has a decent sound quality and lasts pretty long, too. It's also really comfortable, and the material is sturdy." Tadokoro explains. "It's kind of pricey though."
"It's fine." Erina says. "I'll take it. Thank you, Tadokoro-san."
Normally Erina wouldn't make such impulsive purchases. But today, seeing Tadokoro's hopeful expression and hearing her thoughtful words, Erina thinks its a good impulse to make.
Especially since this was something old her would never have done.
"I don't think Souma-kun and Takumi-kun are done yet. They're at the CD section, I think. Shall we go look at some CDs too while we wait?"
At the visible brightening of Erina's expression, Tadokoro beckons for Erina to follow to a different section of the store. The shelves are all much lower, the tallest only reaching her shoulders. How quaint.
"It's like this section was built for toddlers." Erina blurts out in surprise.
Tadokoro giggles. "I know, right? It's weird. But it's always been this way, so we've all gotten used to it."
Erina wonders if one could so easily get used to others, to themselves, with time, too.
While Tadokoro trots over to the sale bin for music CDs, Erina allows her gaze to wander around the section, in search for the duo who had rushed off before them.
The short shelves coupled with the tall figures of the boys make her search extremely easy. They're nestled side by side a few shelves away, sharing a pair of headphones at the 'LATEST ALBUMS' section. Although the poor device is clearly made to turned inside out, Erina can't help but feel pity for the object.
From the distance, she can't make out what they're saying, but judging by Yukihira's wide gesturing and grin, it's clearly something ridiculous. Ridiculously delightful, she amends, when she spots Aldini's equally excited look.
Erina watches, fascinated at the way Aldini seems to handle himself. It's cautious and open at the same time, honest in the manner he speaks.
Even honest in the times he doesn't; something tender and aching in the way he looks at Yukihira when the boy is turned away. Yet it's all smothered when Yukihira turns back to him with a beam and string of silly words about something on the next shelf.
She thinks maybe everyone has to play at social niceties, and some of them that hide they fact they do don't always mean harm.
Then Tadokoro gives out a loud exclamation, and that thought is put aside for later contemplation.
"Tadokoro-san?" Erina hurries over to her side, ignoring the perturbed looks of other patrons being directed at a very flustered girl who's hurriedly apologising for the ruckus.
"Ah, Nakiri-san!" Tadokoro turns even more red, if that's even possible. "I'm sorry for disturbing you by shouting. I didn't mean to!"
"You didn't disturb me." Erina says plainly. "But what made you shout so?"
"Oh! Well!" Tadokoro flusters, sheepishly smiling. She perks up at Erina's next question, and holds up a CD. "I found the only album I was missing from my favourite band! This was their very first, and I didn't get into them until their third album had been released. It's been so hard finding their old albums, since they used to be really exclusive and only printed set numbers of their first few albums. Not even ebay or Amazon had the first copy decently priced and yet I managed to find it here!"
Erina has never known Tadokoro to speak so fast or so animatedly before. She was the very definition of radiance, exuding happiness from every pore. Even Erina couldn't help but feel her heart race in excitement.
"Congratulations Tadokoro-san!" Erina exclaims, before she can help herself.
"What is it?"
With a jolt, Erina whips her head around to see that Yukihira and Aldini have joined them. They must have heard them talking, Erina realises.
She turns back just as quickly, ducking her head.
Tadokoro has launched into her excited spiel once more, only to be interrupted by Yukihira's loud shouts of joy. Apparently, the band was something he'd held interest in, too. Aldini stands nearby, looking slightly taken aback by the rowdy duo but happy all the same. Clearly, unlike the other two, he was not the biggest fan of the band.
After their moment of jubilance in the middle of the store has passed, Aldini suggests they go pay so they can move on to their next destination.
There's a chorus of agreement that Erina misses the chance to be a part of, but she's quick enough to catch up beside Tadokoro to their short walk to the counter.
Tadokoro smiles brightly, and Erina smiles back, a little less stiff than before.
"We all got something from here today, huh?"
"Yes." Erina agrees, this time not just in her head. "We did."
.
.
.
Next stop, drinks. Yukihira announces when they step out the store. The sun beats down on them ferociously, backing up Yukihira's statement for replenishment.
"We'll leave it to you, Souma-kun." Tadokoro says, and Yukihira grins, a quick no problem his reply.
Once more, the boys take the lead, while the girls hang back behind to walk at their own pace.
Comfortable silence fills the air, as Erina takes her time observing the scenery instead of partaking in conversation. She knows other girls her age are full of constant chatter and energy, but she can't work out what might be a good conversation starter, and the silence didn't seem wrong, somehow. So she figures she can let it stay a little longer, while she takes in the ever changing decor of shophouses lining the streets, accompanied by the hum of traffic.
In spite of the hot sun, their route is rather cool. Erina realises it's because the buildings are casting elongated shadows that provide relative comfort, and wonders if Yukihira had been so calculative in his plans, to even input the direction of the sun and subsequent shade when deciding on a route to take.
Calculative, no, she decides. It was likely more keen observation than coldhearted analytics.
Yukihira is surprisingly considerate, Erina thinks, looking ahead at said boy, who stands on the side of the pavement. And perceptive. Perhaps that was why she used to dislike him so.
Perhaps that was why she was so determined to keep her distance.
She wonders what changed.
"I know I said this before, but i'm really glad you joined us today, Nakiri-san."
Hearing Tadokoro's soft voice, Erina turns towards her. Tadokoro is already looking at her, a smile on her face, like it always is.
"I'm glad you invited me out." Erina replies. "It was very nice of you."
Tadokoro chuckles, twirling the end of one braid with a finger. "Well, technically Takumi-kun did. I was going to invite you out earlier, but I got too anxious. Sorry."
"There is nothing to apologise for." Erina says, wondering why someone as sweet as Tadokoro felt the need to apologise so much. She hazards an attempt to cheer her up. "As they always say, better late than never, right?"
Erina tacks on what she hopes is a comforting smile for good measure. The relief at Tadokoro's returning beam is great.
"You're nice, Nakiri-san." Tadokoro says. "I'm glad we could be friends. I've always wanted to, and i'm so happy we got this chance."
Erina takes a minute to roll the sentences over in her head. There's a million textbook responses made just for this situation, but the quiet acceptance and blinding cheer from the electronic store before makes them all sound so worn out and dull.
"I'm not a nice person." Erina quietly says, honest and imperfect. "Not like all of you."
There's a pause in the conversation, and Erina's mind grinds to a halt.
Textbooks and guides and magazine corners were made for a reason, and she had ignored all of them for something as stupid as honesty and soul baring. Pitiful, embarrassing honesty. Why had she done this oh god why was she always like this, ruining things and breaking them and making things fall apart even though she had no right to -
"...It's hard to define something like 'nice', I think" Tadokoro says, sucking Erina back to the present. Both the soothing voice, and the confusing statement. "It depends on person to person as to who and what is nice. And I think you are. So that counts for something, right?"
Erina deliberates whether or not she should be truthful and say 'not really.' It isn't the fault of Tadokoro she holds this viewpoint, she is simply too cynical and lacking to think that anyone's good opinion of her can be validated at all.
"But maybe it wasn't right to use the word 'nice'. I was thinking more along the lines of your honesty when I said that." Tadokoro takes an extra large step, and Erina's looks down to see Tadokoro is walking in a pattern to avoid the cracks on the pavement. "You're really honest. That's hard, I think.
"You say what's on your mind, and you're not afraid to let people know what you really think."
"How is that good?" Erina feels like she's borderline hysterics. Her voice reflects otherwise, flat and questioning.
"I guess...in general, it makes you very brave. To be able to confront things straightforwardly instead of cowering away."
Erina thinks if that's the case, she must be the most paradoxical person to exist.
"That's not true. I'm not like that at all. You're the brave ones."
Tadokoro turns to look properly at Erina, upon hearing her low, broken tone. It's shameful, to be so downtrodden. To appear anything less than distinguished. But Erina can't seem to stop, not now.
"Everything I do is false. I have everything planned to the minute, and when I don't I pretend I do. Things like acting on impulse or from the heart...I don't know what any of that means. Even if i'm nice to anyone, it's because I know doing that action will make me appear so. Everything I do has a hidden motive. Nothing about me is natural or heartfelt at all. I'm...no good."
Somewhere along their walk, Erina has ducked her head down, tucked her arms around her middle. There really was no point for someone like her to make friends. Someone as fake and insincere as her could never make friends.
"That's not true." Tadokoro's firm words draw Erina's attention back up. Cautiously, Erina looks up at Tadokoro's unwavering gaze.
"Nakiri-san, what you said is completely normal. I do things sometimes just because I know it'll gain favour, too. We all do. I mean, Souma-kun doesn't even like gardening, you know?" Erina can't help but nod at the seemingly random statement. Tadokoro nods too, and leans in closer, faux appalled by this juicy bit of gossip. "But he wakes up extra early every day to help out anyway, all because he wants an extra side dish from Fumio-san for breakfast. Just because you're constantly hyper aware of the fact that we all have secondary motives for acting a certain way doesn't make you a bad person. You're just...self-aware. Really self-aware. That's all."
"But...how do you know i'm not actually bad for being this way? That I have no ill intentions?" Erina asks, unsure. Sometimes she doesn't even know herself, and she thinks this makes the apparent super self aware her all the more paradoxical.
At that, Tadokoro just smiles her million watt smile. "Because you're my friend! And I know you well enough to ascertain that for sure, Nakiri-san, you're a brilliant and extremely kind hearted person."
Erina feels her chest tighten, tears welling up in her eyes. Oddly, something in her seems to loosen up at the same time, and she thinks it's only fitting, for someone as contradictory as her.
"Oh." Erina mumbles hoarsely.
Tadokoro moves nearer to her, and gently grasps her elbow. At the lack of resistance, Tadokoro slips her arm through Erina's, bumping their shoulders together.
"It's okay, you know? To not know what you're doing and mess up. Because we're friends. We'll forgive you and move on together. You don't have to be like us or act a certain way for us to accept you. Friends don't ask that from each other." Tadokoro says softly, as if the words were meant for no one but Erina. Not to be overheard even by the birds, or even the scattering leaves.
Briefly, Erina wonders if years of social anxiety can be cured with simple touches and kind words. She thinks it's not a foolproof cure, but its a beginning of a remedy.
"Mm."
.
.
.
Yukihira looks immensely proud for a person who'd just taken them on a twenty minute walk to a shabby drink vendor.
Stopping after so long, the effects of the walk is finally catching up with Erina. She tries to still her heaving chest, but finds her efforts to be in vain. Sandals were probably not the best option for today. It is only pride and long instilled grace that keeps her standing on teetering feet.
At least the conversations she'd had with Tadokoro had helped to kill time, so the itself walk hadn't been so tiring.
Trying to distract herself from her stressed feet, Erina surveys the weirdly painted drink truck. The bold spray paint over the clashing paintjob looks rather worn down, but the chalkboard with geometrical patterns and an extensive menu boasts quality.
Well, Tadokoro seems to appreciate the design, so Erina figures that counts for something.
"What would you like, Nakiri-san?" Tadokoro asks. Erina tilts her head, scrutinising the chalkboard. She hesitantly wonders if it'd be appropriate to confess that she doesn't know a single thing listed on the board.
She's heard of tapioca drinks before, of course. It was invented in Tainan in the 1980s, and started off with a tea base. Now, as evidently shown from the menu, it had evolved to consist of many more bases, and with it a large array of additional toppings. But history and knowledge is nothing compared to actual experience, and in that field she sorely lacks. After all, a common snack isn't known to be fit to grace the God's Tongue.
"I...I'm not sure." Her voice comes out more lost than she intended. Erina doesn't wince, but she does peek towards Yukihira and Aldini, careful to watch out for the slightest smirk, the smallest laugh.
And Yukihira does smile. But so bright and amused it is, Erina can't find it in herself to doubt.
"Virgin experience, huh? Then let's go for an original!" Yukihira snaps his fingers, shooting Erina a finger gun. "Hey, grandpa, you there?" He turns towards the window of the stand, crossing his arms on the ledge and hoisting his upper body in.
"Yukihira!" Aldini exclaims in reproach.
Just as Aldini is about to pull Yukihira back, a shadow pops before Yukihira's face, causing him to drop back down with a short yell.
"Ay, not dead yet sonny." An elderly man grins less than toothily, leaning out the window. "But don't try scaring me off."
"Nah, you're too robust for that, Taka-san." Yukihira grins. Erina admires how easily he is able to reach the window. "Just don't go trying to fix anymore broken machines, it's bad for your back."
"He means, that he's very sorry, and that he's glad you're taking care of yourself." Aldini cuts in. The elderly man, Taka-san, Erina assumes, chortles delightfully.
"I see you brought good company." Taka-san winks at Aldini, and sends the girls a beaming smile. "So, what will you children have today?"
Yukihira shoots his hand up like he's in preschool, practically bouncing on the balls of his heels.
"Taro and papaya milk tea with tapioca pearls!" Yukihira fires off, and the elderly's smile falters. Behind Yukihira, Aldini smothers a groan. Erina does not bother with such courtesies and lets Yukihira know of her displeasure with a very disgusted frown.
Taka-san easily recovers from the oddity that is Yukihira, straightening up his back. "Got you, sonny."
"I'll have a red tea with fruit jelly, please." Aldini orders politely. Well, Erina thinks that anyone would sound polite after Yukihira's childish outburst.
"That's boring, Takumi." Yukihira moans. Aldini rolls his eyes at Yukihira's theatrics.
"I'm not looking to be stuck in the toilet for half a day, thanks."
Yukihira slaps a hand over his chest, gasping loudly. The duo soon spirals into a conversation full of playful jabs that Tadokoro smoothly orders over.
"Uhm, i'd like a taro milk tea with tapioca pearls and a milk tea with tapioca pearls, please. Normal sugar and ice."
Taka-san nods. "I'll call you young ones when it's done."
"Thank you!" Somehow, Tadokoro, Yukihira and Aldini all happen to chorus the same phrase immediately. Erina blinks rapidly, surprised at their coordination.
"Um. Thank you." She says, a beat behind. Erina inclines her head in a bow before Taka-san, whose expression seems to soften even more.
"No worries, missy. It's my pleasure."
That phrase has been told to Erina an absurd number of times in her life, but she thinks it's the first time she's ever felt warmth blooming so easily in her chest from hearing it. The difference between heartfelt wishes and empty praises thrust at her, she supposes, with a little itch behind her eyes.
"T-That said." Erina abruptly turns to Yukihira, seeking an easy distraction. "What kind of combination is that?"
Yukihira has the audacity to look proud. "A good one."
Erina turns to Aldini in hopes of backup, but Aldini averts her gaze. "...I have to hold off judgement until we actually get to taste it. Sometimes he really does come up with unorthodox but...fair...tasting concoctions." He sounds almost pained to admit this. Erina feels a pang of pity for Yukihira's number two taste test victim.
"Maybe this one will turn out well?" Yukihira's number one taste test victim speaks up, a little too hopefully to sound authentic.
"You don't sound very enthusiastic, Tadokoro." Yukihira teases, and Tadokoro casually smiles her way out of the situation.
"She has every reason not to be, Yukihira." Erina says, a strong need to defend her friend welling up inside her. "Tadokoro has been at your mercy for far too long. As has Aldini."
"Well, I don't mind!" Tadokoro frantically says. Erina turns a skeptical eye on her, and Tadokoro holds up a hand. "Okay, maybe I mind. A little. Just the seafood."
"And the dessert." Aldini adds. He looks like he wants to say something else, but doesn't. The way his lips part then seal shut without a single word doesn't go missed by Erina, though. Something bubbles in Erina's gut again.
Before it can boil over in pins and needles, Yukihira speaks up with a question that has Aldini sending him a grateful look for.
"Hey, Nakiri? Why don't you call Takumi by his name?"
Erina startles, not expecting an interrogation. "Should I?"
Aldini doesn't seem affected by her assertive tone at all. "It is up to you. But i'd prefer it if you did. It's less confusing when Isami is around." He shrugs, clearly not affected by Erina's choice of name. Just curious, but certainly not offended.
But mentally, Erina is ready to begin another round of berates. She wonders if she should excuse herself for a mental breakdown and loss of potential friends by being too scared of overstepping boundaries and missing the point, again.
"Actually," Tadokoro shyly says, before Erina can choke out some sad excuse to leave. "I'd like it if you'd call me by my first name too."
At that, Erina is completely caught off guard. There had been no hints - no tips - was this some super secret level she just unlocked? Where had her complicated yet predictable boss battle gone?
"I mean! Only if you want to! It's just...Tadokoro sounds a little...distant. When all the other girls call me by my name." Tadokoro says, hands hovering over her mouth, as if embarrassed of the sappy words coming out of her.
"Oh." Erina struggles to fight down the insistent itch behind her eyes. "Uhm. Well."
She takes a short breath, readying herself. "Well - ,"
"Order up!"
The shout centers the quartet back to their corner of the park. Tadokoro reacts the fastest, face flushing. Not just from the heat, or from forgetting their drinks, Erina reckons.
"I-I'll go get them!" Tadokoro volunteers, speeding off before anyone else can say anything.
Yukihira is after her just a second later, exclaiming, "We haven't paid, you can't collect anything!"
Aldini chooses to walk, silently tapping Erina out of her self induced stupor.
"It's alright to take your time with it." He says kindly, when Erina has dislodged herself from the shame that had rooted her to the spot. "None of us will mind. Just do whatever is comfortable to you."
"But it's your names!" Erina blurts. "It isn't about me. Is it?" She decides to ask, just in case it really is about her. Her and her problems with social interaction, that is.
Aldini breaks into a smile. "Honestly, I don't mind. But thank you for your concern. As for Tadokoro-san...i'm sure she'll appreciate whatever you deem fit."
Erina wonders if such a vague answer is okay at all. But they've already reached the stand, and it'd be awkward to continue the conversation any further, she figures somewhat frustratedly.
Yukihira and Tadokoro seem to already have paid, with the former already engaging the truck owner in a conversation, while the latter pokes straws through the plastic films.
Aldini takes his drink from Tadokoro, thanking her. She says something about the print on the plastic film, and Aldini replies with a laugh.
Hesitantly, Erina steps up. Aldini, for better insight or worse, chooses this timing to join in with Yukihira's conversation, while stuffing a bill in Yukihira's waiting palm.
Suddenly, Erina isn't quite so sure what she was worried about. Surely, there're things to be worried over, but they're silly at best and insignificant at worst. Even so, would Tadokoro really care?
Would a friend really care?
"Thank you, Megumi-san."
Megumi freezes for a second, forgetting to let go of Erina's drink despite Erina's hand already holding it. Then she melts into a beautiful smile, and lets go.
"You're welcome, Erina-san!"
Taking a sip, Erina finds the drink too sweet. Less concentrated sugar, the tea should have been steeped thirty seconds longer, too chewy tapioca pearls. The flaws are endless.
She is methodical and hard wired into analytical criticism. But she supposes, it's alright. It's a part of her, anyway.
Might as well embrace it and if not, slowly work on it till she's able to.
Erina decides she rather likes herself this way, and takes another sip of the bubble tea.
.
.
.
[11.12PM] Nakiri Erina: Thank you for inviting me out yesterday.
[11.12PM] megumi ✿ : It was our pleasure! :D
[11.12PM] megumi ✿ : I'm glad you had fun :)
[11.12PM] gucci shades : np lol
[11.12PM] gucci shades : always good to take a breather
[11.12PM] gucci shades : and let loose yknow nakiri?
[11.13PM] the blond twin : No problem, the pleasure was ours
[11.13PM] gucci shades : !
[11.13PM] gucci shades : O YA TAKUMI
[11.13PM] gucci shades : DO U HAVE XTRA MAYO
[11.13PM] megumi ✿ : Souma-kun, no… :(
[11.13PM] the blond twin : …
[11.13PM] the blond twin : No
[11.13PM] gucci shades : ill ask isami
[11.13PM] the blond twin : Isami also says no
[11.14PM] gucci shades : I HAVENT EVEN ASKED
[11.14PM] Nakiri Erina : Pardon, Megumi-san? I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me again next weekend. There were shops you mentioned last weekend that we did not visit, and I would like to visit them with you. If that would be alright. If not, perhaps some other time? Only if you are not busy, of course.
[11.15PM] gucci shades : wow
[11.15PM] gucci shades : thats
[11.15PM] gucci shades : is that why u were typing for so long lmaooOOO
[11.15PM] gucci shades : u dont have to put everything in a para nakiri !
[11.15PM] gucci shades : embrace the enter key
[11.15PM] gucci shades : like me B))))
[11.15PM] the blond twin : nakiri san your typing style is perfectly fine ! :)
[11.15PM] the blond twin : yukihira while yours is incorrigible
[11.16PM] megumi ✿ : Takumi-kun's right, Erina-chan ! :)
[11.16PM] megumi ✿ : Type however you like :D
[11.16PM] gucci shades : WHAT DID MY TYPING EVER DO TO YALL
[11.16PM] the blond twin : Force shutdown my phone from all the notifications ?
[11.16PM] gucci shades : o ya that
[11.16PM] Nakiri Erina : Megumi-san?
[11.16PM] megumi ✿ : Oh right ! :X
[11.16PM] megumi ✿ : Yes, i'd love to go with you ! :D
[11.16PM] megumi ✿ : Would it be alright if Takumi-kun came along? :)
[11.17PM] megumi ✿ : He wants to get Akanegakubo-senpai a thank-you gift for hosting Isami-kun's internship ! :)
[11.17PM] the blond twin : Its completely fine if the two of you would like to go out by yourselves, btw
[11.17PM] the blond twin : no pressure
[11.17PM] Nakiri Erina : Of course he's welcome to.
[11.17PM] gucci shades : guys
[11.17PM] gucci shades : im feeling a little left out here
[11.17PM] the blond twin : :)
[11.17PM] gucci shades : thats cold
[11.17PM] gucci shades : is this
[11.17PM] gucci shades : how little our friendship means to u
[11.17PM] gucci shades : SOBS
[11.18] Nakiri Erina : You may join us if you wish. I suppose. There is nothing to cry over.
[11.18PM] the blond twin : yukihira lmao arent you glad
[11.18PM] the blond twin : Same place and time, then? :)
[11.18PM] megumi ✿ : Yukihira-kun; Haha :)
[11.18PM] megumi ✿ : Yes ! I can't wait :D
[11.18PM] gucci shades : heartless all of u
[11.18PM] gucci shades : kk see yall then
[11.18PM] the blond twin : And don't be late for tmr's lecture yukihira
[11.18PM] gucci shades : kkkkkkkk
[11.18PM] megumi ✿ : I'll make sure he wakes up :D
[11.18PM] Nakiri Erina : Yes, see all of you then. Please note your attendance, Yukihira.
.
.
.
Nakiri Erina is typing…
[11.22PM] Nakiri Erina : Good night to all of you.
[11.22PM] Nakiri Erina : :)