Standard disclaimers:
As you all know, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Unfortunately Watsuki and some
big name companies do. In this special case: This story has nothing to do
with the real Saito Hajime =^^=.
Warning:
I'm not a native speaker, sooo: Mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be
ahead, hopefully you are WILL not BE distracted by them.
WAITING
Two boys tore open the sliding door and charged into the almost empty room
where a woman with long black hair was kneeling in front of a table writing in
a journal.
The first, the younger one, stopped directly behind her, excitedly moving and
blurting out his 'discovery'
"Mum, a new shop opened near the Kobayashi's house! They are selling sweets."
The other, seeming older, cast a glance at his brother. Hadn't he told him to
stay quiet?
"We want to walk across to have a look, if you would please give your
permission."
Sighing, the woman carefully laid the brush beside the journal on the table,
and turned around and to face the boys.
She was not an obvious beauty for her intelligence and strong character could
clearly be seen in her features. Therefore she did not have the soft facial
expression of a common woman's face. Her face revealed energy and a beauty
that could only be seen with a second look. Judging from her strong
personality and the experience that was reflected in her deep brown eyes, she
had to be older than she appeared to be.
"Please, you two, Stop running around. Making a mess and yelling won't get
you anywhere."
"Can we go? Please, Mum."
"Of course, you can." She ruffled her younger son's hair and had to smile
about his at his grimace of annoyance. He hated to be treated like a small
child. She addressed her older son.
"Keep an eye on him and be careful."
Annoyed, both boys left the room murmuring and grumbling about an 'over-
worried' mother, while she watched on, smiling lovingly.
Relieved to be alone for a few hours she turned back to her writing. Looking
down on the black symbols on the white paper, she remembered why she had
started writing after her marriage fifteen years ago. Back then it had seemed
a good idea to write down her thoughts, her feelings.
But so much had changed since then, had changed since she thought she would
have to deny her feelings. Now feelings had changed, not the surroundings as
she had first assumed. Life had taken another curse.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest tightly and hugged herself while
closing her eyes, dreaming about her past.
* 15 years ago *
A man and a woman were standing alone in the middle of a room hugging each
other, the woman was dressed in a bridal kimono.
The man laid a hand under her chin, tilted her face up to him.
"I must leave now, Tokio."
She had spent all her tears in the endless nights before, and not a single
tear formed in her deep, brown eyes during this moment she had feared so much.
"I know, Kingo."
"I promise, I'll come back when your obligations end."
A sad, but hopeful expression appeared on her face.
"I'll wait for this day to come."
He bent over to kiss her a last time, desperately fearful of leaving her, and
she returned the kiss with all the love and passion she held for him.
Finally they broke their kiss and parted.
"Good-bye, Tokio."
"Good-bye, Kingo."
The man left the room through the sliding door backwards, never turning, and
the woman remained in the spot in the middle of the room, following him with
her eyes until he disappeared into the darkness.
**
As if to rid herself of the memories Tokio shook her head, then stood up and
went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. She was happy being alone, at not
having the children around. She loved her little ones, but having peace and
quiet was pleasant sometimes.
She patiently waited until the water had cooled down and added the green tea,
finally placing the tea-pot together with a cup on a tray, picking it up and
carrying it back to her room.
"Anyone home?" A male voice was heard from the entrance, and she knitted her
brow and changed her direction, the tray still in her hands. She wasn't
expecting a guest this afternoon, so who could it be?
The woman headed towards the front door and greeted the unexpected, unknown
intruder without having a closer look at him.
"Good afternoon, can I help you?" She kept her head bowed, slightly irritated
that the visitor did not answer.
He was a tall man, slightly larger than her. His clothes indicated that he
earned a good salary, for the material was of an exquisite quality, and his
whole neat appearance indicated a well-off, cultivated merchant.
'What was such a man looking for in the house of a police-officer?' she
silently wondered.
Gently, lovingly he addressed her by her given name
"Tokio!"
Finally she looked up to meet the eyes of her guest. Eyes in a friendly,
honest, open looking face that seemed familiar, suddenly she recognised him.
"Kingo!" The tray with the tea cup and pot on it fell out of her hands to the
ground, scattering into A thousand little pieces.
Minutes passed in which they only stared at each other, too many years had
passed since their last meeting. Years that had parted them after they had
once been so close, and shared feelings so deep that only a few people are
allowed to experience them.
Breaking the silence the man smiled
"I found you."
All his hopes had come true. Finally he was standing in front of the woman he
had wanted to be with him all this years, but whom he had had to leave to
stand back on that fateful day fifteen years ago. On this day he had had to
watch her marry another man, by the order of her father.
Timidly she returned his smile. He was familiar but also strange at the same
time
"I'm afraid it wasn't easy."
"No, changing your name several times made it quite difficult for me."
Again an uncomfortable silence fell upon them
"Please come inside, Kingo." She underlined her words with a wave of her hand,
but he looked down at the broken pottery lying between them.
"Oh, I'll pick it up." Bending over, she reached out for the first piece.
"Let me help you." Surprised, she watched him as he leaned forward to pick up
the pieces of the broken cup.
In silence they gathered the remains and went into the kitchen where Tokio
started to heat new water for a tea.
"I didn't think you would remember, Kingo."
Lovingly with warm brown eyes, he watched every graceful movement of her,
followed her with his eyes everywhere, never leaving her slender frame
"How could I forget you? I promised I would come back after your obligations
ended."
"I didn't believe it. What we shared was too special to be true."
"Yes, it was very special. It was something you only experience once in a
life-time."
She placed a new tea-pot together with two cups on a tray and picked it up,
indicating him with a move of her head to follow her. He would have done this
anyway.
She set down the tray between them and poured tea into both
cups, and again there was silence between them.
Fifteen years divided them.
He offered her a package wrapped in expensive paper with both hands,
head bowed. She gasped.
"I have a present for you, Tokio."
Hesitant she reached out to take the package. Then she unwrapped it, it was a
book, one she could never afford from the low income of her husband.
"Thank you very much." She touched, caressed the book with her slender fingers.
He cast a glance around noticing the room, judging it, and displeasure spread
inside him. They were not poor, but it was visible that her husband was not
the best earning man in the world.
He would have been able to give a better life to the woman he loved over all
these years. Anger raised inside him at the thought of her father who had
refused his proposal and forced her to marry Saito Hajime instead. Why had he
let this happen?
He watched as she carefully laid the book down by her side and placed her
hands back on her thighs. She appeared to be different from the woman he once
knew. She was so full of life, energy, love back then. What did this man do to
the Tokio he loved? Did he break her will, her energy? He couldn't help but
watch her, her elegant movements, her graceful built figure, her
characteristic face, but he was not able to speak. Something lacked, there was
something missing INSIDE her.
It was a rhetoric question, and they both knew the answer, but she had to ask,
her hope raising.
"What do you want?"
"Come with me, Tokio."
Shocked about by the direct answer her eyes widened, but her hands lying on
her thighs clenched tightly around her kimono
"It have been fifteen years. Are you sure?"
The man reached out one hand over the tray and touched her cheek, lifting her
head to force her to look at him
"I've waited fifteen years for the day you would be able to leave him, Tokio.
When you were married to him I wasn't able to interfere, your father didn't
listen to me because in his eyes I was an insignificant insect. But now, his
sons are old enough, your father is dead, and there is no reason to stay with
him any-longer. Your obligations end here. Come with me."
Her hands tightened even more
"But I'm married to him, I have to stay."
"Why? You wasted fifteen of your best years with him,you gave up your younger
years that you could have shared with me. Why shouldn't you have the right to
spent the rest of your life together with me?"
Her hands were still tightened around the fabric of her kimono, and Kingo
realised that she needed time to digest his unexpected appearance and so he
caressed her cheek once more.
"I still love you, I have never loved any other woman than you, Tokio. I know
that feelings for me are still running inside you, you can't deny an emotion
as deep as this. Think about it, I'll be waiting for your answer at the inn
down this street."
***
She sat rooted to the spot while he left the room and the house.
Fifteen years.
Fifteen long years she had waited for this day to come, for Kingo coming to
come back into her life.
Fifteen lonely years she spent with Hajime instead of him.
Fifteen years filled with laughter, joy, affection, shared experiences, and
three children.
But also filled with tears, hatred, arguments, anger, frustration, and endless
discussions for she had never been someone who held back her own opinions,
and convictions.
Fifteen lively years of experience she had shared with Hajime, fifteen years
she would never be able to forget.
She stood and picked upthe book and walked towards their room, lost
in thought, the book pressed against her chest, she slide the door open.
The room she had shared for fifteen years with him -- now, she looked up and
stopped dead in her tracks.
He was standing at the other door that opened to the garden, leaning against
it, his back facing her, smoking a cigarette.
"You are home, Hajime?"
"Seems so."
"I.. I.. I'm sorry, I didn't noticed you coming home, I had a guest and..and.."
"I heard you."
She had to gasp for air.
"I don't want to keep you, Tokio. You gave me fifteen years, that was more
than I actually expected. I don't care. You can leave with him."
He kept his back facing towards her, if he would turned she would be able to
see his emotions, after so many years living with him she could tell from one
look in his face what he was thinking. But he never turned, he continued
smoking, his back turned to her.
She stepped back through the door, and out of the room, closing it behind her.
What did she really want?
Smiling, she looked on the closed door, imagining her lone husband standing
behind it.
Fifteen years, -- her emotions had changed in during these years.
Careless she set the book down on a bench standing beside her, she left the
house and walked towards the inn, certain about her decision.
***
The man leaning on the opened door and lowered his head.
Taking a drag from his cigarette, and inhaling he turned, thoughtfully looking
at the door she had closed behind her. Exhaling.
* Fifteen years ago *
He was searching his new wife, there were still some ceremonies they had to go
through. He heard voices in one room and stopped in front of it, reaching out
one hand to open the door, but he recognised one voice and his hand stopped
half-way.
Tokio was talking with a man inside, and the moonlight shining though the rice-
paper-walls showed the shadows of the two. He had watched as they hugged each
other, kissed and heard their promises and finally their good-byes. He went
back to the ceremony waiting for his wife returning to him with a warm smile
on her lips.
**
Back then he didn't care, she was his wife after all -- why care about another
man? But in fifteen shared years his attitude had changed. She had earned his
respect and acceptance. Earned by intelligence, by her will to fight for her
opinions and convictions, always well-grounded, well-thought-out in every
discussion or argument they had, never being shallow. No, he smiled inwardly,
he had to correct himself, sometimes she was shallow, but never about things
they both considered to be important.
After fifteen years sharing his life with her, she would go back to him, to
the man he only knew through her eyes.
He had never actually met him and she had never spoke of him, but he had seen
it in her eyes. Every time her eyes showed a burning fire, a love, a passion,
a devotion deep inside her, he knew it was another man she was thinking of.
He had never been able to touch her emotionally this deep, she never let it
happen. There was always a place inside her that she excluded him from. He
knew she had feelings for him, but were they this deep?
Remembering her holding his first son shortly after birth, a smile formed on
his lips. She had been weak, exhausted but she didn't want to show it,
especially not in front of him. She was holding his son in her arms, smiling
proudly and happily, but he wasn't sure how to react to the small bundle and
looked at her face.
It was the first time he thought he had seen love in her eyes for him, not
for another man, but he was not sure.
He had always been able to see through people, their emotions, motivations and
reasons.
Yes, finally he was convinced. She would leave. There was no rational and no
emotional reason to stay with him.
He was alone with his sons, he did not need to wait for her decision and her
words. Being cool and indifferent towards her would make it easier for
her to leave him. She deserved some years with the man she cared for so deeply.
He flicked away the cigarette and headed towards the kitchen but his glance
fell on a new book left carelessly on a bench. Again a small smile appeared
across his lips. He would never be able to predict her decisions.
After fifteen years she was still able to surprise him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOW:
I hope it is clear:
Will she stay or will she leave?
Solution in the second chapter.
First posted: 3rd March 2002
Revised and re-posted: 26th April 2002
second re-post: December 11th 2002
Mara
As you all know, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Unfortunately Watsuki and some
big name companies do. In this special case: This story has nothing to do
with the real Saito Hajime =^^=.
Warning:
I'm not a native speaker, sooo: Mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be
ahead, hopefully you are WILL not BE distracted by them.
WAITING
Two boys tore open the sliding door and charged into the almost empty room
where a woman with long black hair was kneeling in front of a table writing in
a journal.
The first, the younger one, stopped directly behind her, excitedly moving and
blurting out his 'discovery'
"Mum, a new shop opened near the Kobayashi's house! They are selling sweets."
The other, seeming older, cast a glance at his brother. Hadn't he told him to
stay quiet?
"We want to walk across to have a look, if you would please give your
permission."
Sighing, the woman carefully laid the brush beside the journal on the table,
and turned around and to face the boys.
She was not an obvious beauty for her intelligence and strong character could
clearly be seen in her features. Therefore she did not have the soft facial
expression of a common woman's face. Her face revealed energy and a beauty
that could only be seen with a second look. Judging from her strong
personality and the experience that was reflected in her deep brown eyes, she
had to be older than she appeared to be.
"Please, you two, Stop running around. Making a mess and yelling won't get
you anywhere."
"Can we go? Please, Mum."
"Of course, you can." She ruffled her younger son's hair and had to smile
about his at his grimace of annoyance. He hated to be treated like a small
child. She addressed her older son.
"Keep an eye on him and be careful."
Annoyed, both boys left the room murmuring and grumbling about an 'over-
worried' mother, while she watched on, smiling lovingly.
Relieved to be alone for a few hours she turned back to her writing. Looking
down on the black symbols on the white paper, she remembered why she had
started writing after her marriage fifteen years ago. Back then it had seemed
a good idea to write down her thoughts, her feelings.
But so much had changed since then, had changed since she thought she would
have to deny her feelings. Now feelings had changed, not the surroundings as
she had first assumed. Life had taken another curse.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest tightly and hugged herself while
closing her eyes, dreaming about her past.
* 15 years ago *
A man and a woman were standing alone in the middle of a room hugging each
other, the woman was dressed in a bridal kimono.
The man laid a hand under her chin, tilted her face up to him.
"I must leave now, Tokio."
She had spent all her tears in the endless nights before, and not a single
tear formed in her deep, brown eyes during this moment she had feared so much.
"I know, Kingo."
"I promise, I'll come back when your obligations end."
A sad, but hopeful expression appeared on her face.
"I'll wait for this day to come."
He bent over to kiss her a last time, desperately fearful of leaving her, and
she returned the kiss with all the love and passion she held for him.
Finally they broke their kiss and parted.
"Good-bye, Tokio."
"Good-bye, Kingo."
The man left the room through the sliding door backwards, never turning, and
the woman remained in the spot in the middle of the room, following him with
her eyes until he disappeared into the darkness.
**
As if to rid herself of the memories Tokio shook her head, then stood up and
went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. She was happy being alone, at not
having the children around. She loved her little ones, but having peace and
quiet was pleasant sometimes.
She patiently waited until the water had cooled down and added the green tea,
finally placing the tea-pot together with a cup on a tray, picking it up and
carrying it back to her room.
"Anyone home?" A male voice was heard from the entrance, and she knitted her
brow and changed her direction, the tray still in her hands. She wasn't
expecting a guest this afternoon, so who could it be?
The woman headed towards the front door and greeted the unexpected, unknown
intruder without having a closer look at him.
"Good afternoon, can I help you?" She kept her head bowed, slightly irritated
that the visitor did not answer.
He was a tall man, slightly larger than her. His clothes indicated that he
earned a good salary, for the material was of an exquisite quality, and his
whole neat appearance indicated a well-off, cultivated merchant.
'What was such a man looking for in the house of a police-officer?' she
silently wondered.
Gently, lovingly he addressed her by her given name
"Tokio!"
Finally she looked up to meet the eyes of her guest. Eyes in a friendly,
honest, open looking face that seemed familiar, suddenly she recognised him.
"Kingo!" The tray with the tea cup and pot on it fell out of her hands to the
ground, scattering into A thousand little pieces.
Minutes passed in which they only stared at each other, too many years had
passed since their last meeting. Years that had parted them after they had
once been so close, and shared feelings so deep that only a few people are
allowed to experience them.
Breaking the silence the man smiled
"I found you."
All his hopes had come true. Finally he was standing in front of the woman he
had wanted to be with him all this years, but whom he had had to leave to
stand back on that fateful day fifteen years ago. On this day he had had to
watch her marry another man, by the order of her father.
Timidly she returned his smile. He was familiar but also strange at the same
time
"I'm afraid it wasn't easy."
"No, changing your name several times made it quite difficult for me."
Again an uncomfortable silence fell upon them
"Please come inside, Kingo." She underlined her words with a wave of her hand,
but he looked down at the broken pottery lying between them.
"Oh, I'll pick it up." Bending over, she reached out for the first piece.
"Let me help you." Surprised, she watched him as he leaned forward to pick up
the pieces of the broken cup.
In silence they gathered the remains and went into the kitchen where Tokio
started to heat new water for a tea.
"I didn't think you would remember, Kingo."
Lovingly with warm brown eyes, he watched every graceful movement of her,
followed her with his eyes everywhere, never leaving her slender frame
"How could I forget you? I promised I would come back after your obligations
ended."
"I didn't believe it. What we shared was too special to be true."
"Yes, it was very special. It was something you only experience once in a
life-time."
She placed a new tea-pot together with two cups on a tray and picked it up,
indicating him with a move of her head to follow her. He would have done this
anyway.
She set down the tray between them and poured tea into both
cups, and again there was silence between them.
Fifteen years divided them.
He offered her a package wrapped in expensive paper with both hands,
head bowed. She gasped.
"I have a present for you, Tokio."
Hesitant she reached out to take the package. Then she unwrapped it, it was a
book, one she could never afford from the low income of her husband.
"Thank you very much." She touched, caressed the book with her slender fingers.
He cast a glance around noticing the room, judging it, and displeasure spread
inside him. They were not poor, but it was visible that her husband was not
the best earning man in the world.
He would have been able to give a better life to the woman he loved over all
these years. Anger raised inside him at the thought of her father who had
refused his proposal and forced her to marry Saito Hajime instead. Why had he
let this happen?
He watched as she carefully laid the book down by her side and placed her
hands back on her thighs. She appeared to be different from the woman he once
knew. She was so full of life, energy, love back then. What did this man do to
the Tokio he loved? Did he break her will, her energy? He couldn't help but
watch her, her elegant movements, her graceful built figure, her
characteristic face, but he was not able to speak. Something lacked, there was
something missing INSIDE her.
It was a rhetoric question, and they both knew the answer, but she had to ask,
her hope raising.
"What do you want?"
"Come with me, Tokio."
Shocked about by the direct answer her eyes widened, but her hands lying on
her thighs clenched tightly around her kimono
"It have been fifteen years. Are you sure?"
The man reached out one hand over the tray and touched her cheek, lifting her
head to force her to look at him
"I've waited fifteen years for the day you would be able to leave him, Tokio.
When you were married to him I wasn't able to interfere, your father didn't
listen to me because in his eyes I was an insignificant insect. But now, his
sons are old enough, your father is dead, and there is no reason to stay with
him any-longer. Your obligations end here. Come with me."
Her hands tightened even more
"But I'm married to him, I have to stay."
"Why? You wasted fifteen of your best years with him,you gave up your younger
years that you could have shared with me. Why shouldn't you have the right to
spent the rest of your life together with me?"
Her hands were still tightened around the fabric of her kimono, and Kingo
realised that she needed time to digest his unexpected appearance and so he
caressed her cheek once more.
"I still love you, I have never loved any other woman than you, Tokio. I know
that feelings for me are still running inside you, you can't deny an emotion
as deep as this. Think about it, I'll be waiting for your answer at the inn
down this street."
***
She sat rooted to the spot while he left the room and the house.
Fifteen years.
Fifteen long years she had waited for this day to come, for Kingo coming to
come back into her life.
Fifteen lonely years she spent with Hajime instead of him.
Fifteen years filled with laughter, joy, affection, shared experiences, and
three children.
But also filled with tears, hatred, arguments, anger, frustration, and endless
discussions for she had never been someone who held back her own opinions,
and convictions.
Fifteen lively years of experience she had shared with Hajime, fifteen years
she would never be able to forget.
She stood and picked upthe book and walked towards their room, lost
in thought, the book pressed against her chest, she slide the door open.
The room she had shared for fifteen years with him -- now, she looked up and
stopped dead in her tracks.
He was standing at the other door that opened to the garden, leaning against
it, his back facing her, smoking a cigarette.
"You are home, Hajime?"
"Seems so."
"I.. I.. I'm sorry, I didn't noticed you coming home, I had a guest and..and.."
"I heard you."
She had to gasp for air.
"I don't want to keep you, Tokio. You gave me fifteen years, that was more
than I actually expected. I don't care. You can leave with him."
He kept his back facing towards her, if he would turned she would be able to
see his emotions, after so many years living with him she could tell from one
look in his face what he was thinking. But he never turned, he continued
smoking, his back turned to her.
She stepped back through the door, and out of the room, closing it behind her.
What did she really want?
Smiling, she looked on the closed door, imagining her lone husband standing
behind it.
Fifteen years, -- her emotions had changed in during these years.
Careless she set the book down on a bench standing beside her, she left the
house and walked towards the inn, certain about her decision.
***
The man leaning on the opened door and lowered his head.
Taking a drag from his cigarette, and inhaling he turned, thoughtfully looking
at the door she had closed behind her. Exhaling.
* Fifteen years ago *
He was searching his new wife, there were still some ceremonies they had to go
through. He heard voices in one room and stopped in front of it, reaching out
one hand to open the door, but he recognised one voice and his hand stopped
half-way.
Tokio was talking with a man inside, and the moonlight shining though the rice-
paper-walls showed the shadows of the two. He had watched as they hugged each
other, kissed and heard their promises and finally their good-byes. He went
back to the ceremony waiting for his wife returning to him with a warm smile
on her lips.
**
Back then he didn't care, she was his wife after all -- why care about another
man? But in fifteen shared years his attitude had changed. She had earned his
respect and acceptance. Earned by intelligence, by her will to fight for her
opinions and convictions, always well-grounded, well-thought-out in every
discussion or argument they had, never being shallow. No, he smiled inwardly,
he had to correct himself, sometimes she was shallow, but never about things
they both considered to be important.
After fifteen years sharing his life with her, she would go back to him, to
the man he only knew through her eyes.
He had never actually met him and she had never spoke of him, but he had seen
it in her eyes. Every time her eyes showed a burning fire, a love, a passion,
a devotion deep inside her, he knew it was another man she was thinking of.
He had never been able to touch her emotionally this deep, she never let it
happen. There was always a place inside her that she excluded him from. He
knew she had feelings for him, but were they this deep?
Remembering her holding his first son shortly after birth, a smile formed on
his lips. She had been weak, exhausted but she didn't want to show it,
especially not in front of him. She was holding his son in her arms, smiling
proudly and happily, but he wasn't sure how to react to the small bundle and
looked at her face.
It was the first time he thought he had seen love in her eyes for him, not
for another man, but he was not sure.
He had always been able to see through people, their emotions, motivations and
reasons.
Yes, finally he was convinced. She would leave. There was no rational and no
emotional reason to stay with him.
He was alone with his sons, he did not need to wait for her decision and her
words. Being cool and indifferent towards her would make it easier for
her to leave him. She deserved some years with the man she cared for so deeply.
He flicked away the cigarette and headed towards the kitchen but his glance
fell on a new book left carelessly on a bench. Again a small smile appeared
across his lips. He would never be able to predict her decisions.
After fifteen years she was still able to surprise him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOW:
I hope it is clear:
Will she stay or will she leave?
Solution in the second chapter.
First posted: 3rd March 2002
Revised and re-posted: 26th April 2002
second re-post: December 11th 2002
Mara