She has no problem with secrets,
She knows how to keep them
She never felt the need to let them show.
And I've had no trouble with speaking,
Or trusting my instincts,
That maybe this is one that I should know.
But as I'm waiting there
The devil on my shoulder stares,
Laughing that the one thing I can't get
Is what I need!
Grimm doesn't snitch on anyone. No matter what, if you've asked her to keep a secret, she'll take it to the grave. Even if she doesn't approve of the secret, it's going to take a lot for her to louse on anyone, especially her family. That's my favorite thing about her. The way she just doesn't care if people think less of her for not telling. She's not going too. No matter what. I like to think that I have the quality. I don't tell on people. But I do like to talk, I must admit. I love to watch how flustered she gets when I annoy her by talking too much, how she rolls her eyes when I talk about myself. I always think I'm right, and I always trust that whatever first pops into my brain is right. Maybe that's a bad idea, but that's the way I am. And I can tell by the looks she sneaks at me, she likes me that way. If only I knew how to tell her how I feel about her. There's no point denying it now. I really really like her. Maybe love her. But I can't figure out how to tell her. So I just watch. Learn the way she talks when she's rambling, watch the way she plays with Basil when no one else will. Hear her cries in the night from the nightmares, and wish oh so badly that I could wrap my arms around her and make them better.
She, She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive?
And I couldn't speak,
I couldn't breathe to save my life!
All of my chances swim like sinking ships,
This time it's it
I'll drown or make her mine
She's everything that bothers me. Or used too, I should say. She's noble, she's headstrong, she thinks she's right, she usually is right, she cares about her family, she has responsibilities. But then, there's all those things about her that I admire, and envy. She has the uncondtional love of a lot of people. She's influential, a lot more than she knows. She has the ability to face something horribly scary, and laugh and taunt. I share that last quality, but she pulls it off with grace. Not to mention her punches. God, those things hurt. When she walks past me, and looks at me, my heart stops beating. I can't talk and I'm quite lucky if I don't smile like an idiot. Then she looks at me, a little confused, and eventually smiles back. Those secret smiles keep me up at night. They make me wish I could find the words to explain to her how I feel about her. I'll die if I don't.
My vocal chords have been fighting
My mouth likes to spite me
It never says the words that come to mind.
I brought a stick to a gunfight,
And I'm stuck with my tongue tied!
I run but I can't hide what's always there!
My mouth loves to say all the things that she hates to hear. They love to call her names like 'dogface' and 'ugly'. I'm not sure why. Maybe cause she's cute when she's mad. But, there's always a hurt expression in her eyes when I say things like that. I've been trying hard not to say such things. It's hard sometimes though. It's a reflex. I always feel horrible when she retaliates, and I can't help but retaliate to her retaliation. I can't help it. I love to see the way sparks practically fly from her deep blue eyes when I make faces at her and call her names. I always try to ignore the hurt-puppy dog looks and focus on the anger, and the fire. Usually, she wins. The hurt look usually gets to me and I storm off, and the anger and sadness is replaced by triumph. I haven't won in a long time, and usually afterwards, I find myself in awkward situations where I can't answer simple questions because I'm daydreaming about her.
I can see these things I'd do
But never seem to follow through
She, She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive?
I have so many things in my head that I would do if I could. So many plans for the future, so many dreams that I want fulfilled. But every time I come close to one of those, I chicken out. I hate that she can do that to me. Make me chicken out, when we all know I never chicken out of anything. Never. It's just not in my genetic code. Or it wasn't, until she came along. I have a 'hero-complex' for her, as Marshmallow says. I can't stand to see her in any kind of pain, or in any danger. I instantly want to save her. And I can't figure out what makes her tick. I can't figure out why she does the things she does, besides love for her family, ya-da ya-da. There has to be something more. A driving force behind every step she takes to shield Daphne. And I've decided something.
I'm going to stop wondering what it'd be like to give Grimm a hug when she isn't happy. I'm going to find out. I'm going to stop dreaming about kissing her under the stars and instead, do it. I'm going to stop wishing that the perfect words would come to me, and just go with the ones I have. I'm going to stop calling her Grimm.
Her name is Sabrina. She is everything.
She, She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive?
And I couldn't speak
I couldn't breathe to save my life.
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time it's it
I'll drown or make her mine.
