"I don't like you with that mask."
Lucina restrained the sigh that built up in her chest and ignored the comment. Instead she nodded at Gerome in silent thanks for crafting the metal mask for her. For time and material restraints, it truly was beautiful. "Gather everyone else. It's time."
Gerome nodded once in confirmation and left. Noire followed behind him as per Lucina's buddy system rule and Morgan's insight for her long range protection being a good balance. Eventually Minerva let out a sharp yell into the night that was still heard even after they merged into the ash-ridden sky, leaving the siblings alone with the portal in the process of activation.
"Luci…"
The sigh escaped now. "It's necessary Morgan."
She didn't know what she was referring to—the mask or the ritual of jumping back into the past to meddle with time. Both, maybe. Morgan didn't approve of either situation. He never spoke up about it around the others and only confided in her halfheartedly; she knew he was trying to stay strong just as their parents told him to before they left that final time. He tried to be their resilient tactician just as Lucina had to be the unflappable leader. But the way he fidgeted with the frayed sleeves of Mot—of the too large coat told Lucina all she had to know about his anxieties over their situation.
"But Luci… what if something happens? What if something happens to you an—and-"
"Of course nothing will happen to me. How can I make sure nothing happens to you if I'm not around?"
Back when their parents were alive, when the two of them were younger and laughed more, Morgan would've puffed his cheeks out and recounted how he was a big boy now and didn't need her protection. Or he'd insist on all the other times she'd been wrong before. But now Morgan only stared dejectedly at the ground. He kicked a rock sticking out from the dirt that didn't budge. And it struck her how tiny he was inside of the worn coat. He mumbled something under his breath, but she still heard: "You're all I have left."
Lucina felt like she'd been punched in the gut all the while her stomach twisted crudely inside. All the pain since their parents' deaths she'd pushed away in order to keep strong surged to the surface. Her eyes widened and watered behind her newly donned mask. She went to reach out for him, to assure him that everything would be alright, but how could she when she didn't even know that for herself? Morgan wasn't wrong in his trepidation. She held her own anxieties but only buried hers deeper so that no one would second guess their unwavering leader.
There were so many variables that she purposely turned a blind eye to. She wasn't like Morgan. Like their… their mother. She couldn't think of every way something could go wrong and still come out tactically victorious. She could only continue on and hope to prevail in the end.
Lucina took her mask off in one hand and held it, the metal edges, though smooth, dug into her gloves. It may as well be the last time she'd be able to show her face freely to Morgan and she didn't want to make a promise with a deceitful mask on.
"Morgan."
He didn't respond.
"Morgan, please look at me."
He looked up at her, the rims of his eyes a raw red from tears.
"I can't promise a lot about the past. A-and I don't know if we can fix everything but we'll try and we'll succeed. But even if we don't I swear to Naga that I will make sure that no harm will befall on either of us. On any of our friends." She reached out with her free hand and Morgan responded, gripping her hand. "We will see our parents again and we'll do it together."
Morgan ducked his head again and rubbed his face with the back of his fist. He let go of her hand and didn't say anything, but the tight hug that followed said more than enough. Lucina closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him and finally let some tears fall on his shoulder.
When the others arrived, screaming about a horde of Risen following and the clash of steel against steel, Morgan and Lucina fought the pre-departure skirmish together—one never straying from the other's backside. The smell of ozone lingered around her as Morgan shot spell after spell, leaving his sword at his side for short distance was her job. Lucina liked to think that this was how their parents fought, back to back, complimenting each other perfectly.
It was only when she saw Cynthia, the last of their band of friends, nose dive into the portal—just barely outpacing a short ax—that Lucina knew it was time to leave their bleak world. It was a miracle that anyone made it through the portal with the way the Risen advanced. "Morgan," she said and swung her sword through an unfortunate Risen archer that strayed too close to her reach. "Let's go."
He reacted immediately, switching out his valuable ArcThunder tome for an even thinner ArcFire, and sent a blaze that swept before the enemy's line. A temporary wall for them to make their escape. Lucina didn't stop to marvel at how even now he displayed his tactical genius and instead frantically grabbed his hand and pulled him along with her to the portal. She didn't let go even when they were an arm's length away from the swirling blue and white.
Out of the corner of her eyes she caught a hesitant grin on his face from the gesture. His grip tightened around her hand when they slipped through the cool sensation of the portal together.
…
It wasn't until the adrenaline crash and she was left alone in the smoldering forest that the realization hit her. She was alone. Not alone as in she didn't join her father's small party of Shepherds plus her mother, but truly alone. None of her comrades fell along with her. Morgan wasn't by her side. Her left hand felt cold without his smaller hand grasping onto it for dear life. She didn't let go through the portal. She couldn't have let go. She wouldn't have done that… would she?
No, no, no.
She wouldn't—never, in any circumstance—do that. Not even if letting go of him freed her hand to defend her own life against a threat. Still. The thought of her physically letting go of his hand and leaving him to fend for himself against Risen and whatever else awaited them in this time made her guts twist and squeeze in dreadful guilt.
She slid down the tree she leaned against. The bark caught at her clothing and snagged her hair, pulling tufts of it out from her beneath her cape and collar. She was alone. She was alone.
Lucina pushed the mask up and pushed her fists into her eyes to stop the stupid tears that threatened to spill again.
Mother and Father were alive. She'd seen them with her own eyes even if they weren't together yet. But Morgan wasn't by her side to witness it. The mission may not have failed yet, but she'd already failed her promise. Her throat constricted and not because of the smoke that still weaved through the trees. She'd have to get out of here soon, but where to go was the question. There was Ylisstol but it was too soon for the assassination and she couldn't lay low in the city. Especially not with her mask when the people would surely already be on edge with the looming war.
Her hands moved to her hair and her fingers curled around tendrils of it, pulling lightly. She could look for Morgan around Ylisse. She didn't know where else in the world he would be if he was here besides the Halidom of Ylisse other than Regna Ferox.
Lucina loosened her grip, strands of hair fell back loose and out of place. Maybe that was it! If Morgan was not with her, not in Ylisse, then he could be in Regna Ferox. Both Khans had taken to the Exalt family becoming an Aunt and Uncle if not a second set of parents to both Lucina and Morgan in their future before they perished with their land. Anyways, the Khans had a habit like their father to pick up people in need and take them under their wing—Lon'qu was proof enough. If Morgan wasn't with her, then maybe Naga had been kind and deposited him somewhere else where he'd feel safe and loved still.
Besides, didn't their parents' stories always mention about a detour to Regna Ferox? It was like killing two wyvern with one arrow.
…
Two years. For two years Lucina had nightmares where she did let go of Morgan's hand—or worse, she simply turned and ran through the portal leaving him alone with the Risen. For those two years on her own she awoke with no reassurances that he was alive and that her memories were merely twisting up tales of horror to feed the guilt in her stomach.
And now, now she had him back. He was right inside their parents' tent turned temporary medical bay. Lucina knew she should feel relieved, overjoyed even. But instead she stood outside the tent with her parents standing behind her and the only thing she felt was nausea.
Morgan was there physically. Chrom and Robin found him. But now she didn't know what to expect. Not after their warning that Morgan… that… he might not remember her. It was Robin who delivered the news. Chrom stood next to her still sullen that his own son didn't remember him.
Didn't remember.
Oh Naga, Lucina always imagined the worst case scenario being his death. If not that then he'd be severely injured. But to have amnesia… that… that… Lucina let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.
She gripped the flap and before she could talk herself out of seeing him for herself or let either her mother or father help convince her that it was okay to walk away for now, she yanked it open. And there he was. Sitting on their parents' bedroll while Aunt Lissa knelt before him with a stave poised at the ready.
"Morgan?" Her voice wobbled on the name. Still familiar even though she had not spoken it for two years.
Both Lissa and Morgan heard though and stared at her. Aunt Lissa stood up, straightening her skirts. But Lucina's main focus was on… oh gods… he looked the same. A bit older—his face a little more thinned out and maybe a bit lankier—but still the same Morgan. His brows furrowed.
"Lucina?"
Lucina's throat constricted. She closed her eyes briefly and swiped the happy tears that collected at the corner of her eyes. She faintly acknowledged the way Chrom's grip on her shoulder tightened ever so slightly. How Aunt Lissa beamed across the tent. The relieved sound Robin made. Morgan remembered. He remembered her.
Morgan tipped his head to the side and focused his eyes not at Lucina, but just over her left shoulder where their mother stood in support. "That's my sister you mentioned, right? Lucina." His eyes flickered back to Lucina, assessing her. He grinned. "We look alike."
Everything grew still and quiet. The firm grip on her shoulder alleviated briefly at the realization of what his words meant before it returned just as strong in support this time. Lissa's smile faltered. Robin uttered a disheartened "Yes". And Lucina felt absolutely dead. If it wasn't for Chrom's grip on her shoulder grounding her, she was sure she would've fallen to her knees, unable to stand on her own.
"You don't remember me, do you?" she whispered, hoping that he was just taking a joke too far. She hoped that he'd start to laugh and tell her that the look on her face was priceless and that's what she deserved for losing him and not following through on her promise. And if that was the case then so be it. She wouldn't even be mad because Naga, did she deserve it.
The smile Morgan sported faded into a concentrated frown. He shook his head. "I-I've been trying but… I just remember Mother. I'm sorry."
She felt tears drip down her cheeks and the guilt make its home in her stomach again. "It's okay," she whispered even though it was apparent to everyone there that it wasn't.
She excused herself, unable to look any of them in the eyes.
…
It was difficult to avoid someone when they shared the same tent as you and Lucina just managed. She awoke before Morgan who tended to sleep in much like their father always tried to do. She went to bed before him while he attempted to stay up late helping Mother strategize. It was tedious, but simple.
That routine lasted for all of a week before Lucina lifted the tent flap, ready to turn in for the night, only to find Morgan sitting on his bedroll reading. She hesitated for a moment before she ducked inside and went to her half of the tent. She just unfastened her cape when he called her name and she didn't respond until finished taking off her armor, leaving for Falchion for last. "I thought you'd be with Mother going over strategies."
"We were going to, but her and Father decided to spend time together since they've been so busy lately." Lucina didn't need to turn around to know that he was grinning ear to ear. She even found herself smiling over that. "They also suggested we should maybe spend some time together. Maybe you can help me with my memories?"
Her smile dissipated. She faltered with the belt loop that secured Falchion to her waist and then very mechanically removed the sheathed sword and rested it next to her bedroll. She took the step or two it took to get to the tied back curtain that separated their space. "I've had a long day and I'm going to bed. I'm sorry." Lucina made sure not to look at him even when she heard his dejected Oh. Instead she focused on her hands untying the knotted rope that held back the divider. She was just about to finish and wish him a good night when she heard him mumble something and only made out "Was it always like this?"
Lucina's fingers became clumsy with the knot until she eventually just stopped. She glanced up without moving her head, not understanding what he said and hoping it wasn't what she thought it was. "I'm sorry?"
Morgan must have not expected to be heard and his entire face flushed pink. One hand rubbed the back of his neck. He let out a hesitant laugh with a forced smile and kept his eyes downcast. "I… well, I-in our timeline. I don't remember it and I was wondering if we were always like this? Were we always so… distant?" He paused and was it just Lucina or did his voice waver towards the end?
She frowned.
The smile fell along with his hand from the back of his neck. When she gave no definite answer he continued in a lower tone, "I just thought that we'd be closer. But instead…. Did I-did I do something?"
Oh.
"Of course not," she said in a rush to reassure him and the words broke on the way out. Lucina cleared her throat and when she continued, tried to keep everything more even. "We were… we were close." She closed her eyes. She couldn't put into words how much she depended on him being by her side during their bleak future and how he was her constant companion even before everything turned to hell. Her brother, her best friend, the last of her immediate family.
"Oh. Okay. I was just wondering. It just seemed like maybe... I don't know."
The ropes fell from her hand, knot still intact. She moved back to her bedroll and fell on top of it staring at a fixed point of the compacted dirt floor of the tent all the while shaking her head back and forth. Sleep completely forgotten now. Morgan's presence nearly forgotten as she retreated to her own thoughts. Her stomach hurt. "I'm sorry. It's… I'm so sorry." She pulled one of her sleeves over the heel of her hand and raised it before her mouth. "It's… it's my fault."
"Luci? Er- Lucina?"
Lucina waved off his quick correction and whispered how it was fine. More than fine really. Luci. She hadn't heard that for years. Not even their mother or father referred to her as Luci in this time. Closing her eyes, she let her chin drop to her chest. "You used to call me that all the time before…. " She stopped. "I broke our promise. I'm sorry. I failed you."
She heard him reposition himself and cast aside his book. "I uh… I'm sure you didn't. If what you said is true then there must be a reason—"
Shaking her head again, she pressed the sleeve-covered heel of her hand against her eye. "I told you that everything would be fine. I said we'd find our parents together and make a better future. And then we jumped and you were gone."
Lucina took a shuddering breath. Then she nearly jumped when Morgan sat down cross-legged next to her, never realizing that he had even gotten up. He sat in silence though most likely thinking everything over, forming his verdict on her. She accepted the silence and continued once her breathing was more controlled if only slightly. "I promised to protect you. And—" She stared at her hands that shook no matter how hard she tried to make them stop. She bit her lower lip and tried to pull herself together before she completely lost it. And then she spoke her guilty fears before she could even think to stop them. "Something happened in the portal and maybe I- what if I… I let go?" Her voice cracked in what could only be a prelude to ugly sobbing and maybe she would've started to outright cry if it hadn't been for Morgan's steadfast "No."
"No?"
Morgan nodded with a look of concentration on his brow. "I don't believe you'd ever let go and it's pretty stupid of you to feel guilty over that. We can theorize all we want—all you want—but I'm here now and our family is together. For all we know amnesia is something that runs in the family," he laughed lightly, but it died off immediately when she didn't join him and everything about him became unusually serious again.
"If we're being honest, I've felt guilty about forgetting you and father." He stared off towards his side of the room and Lucina followed his gaze to the upside down, propped open book. What she first mistook as one of their mother's tactical guides, she now saw was one of Miriel's books on the brain. "I feel like I've failed the both of you."
"Morgan!" Lucina jolted upright from her self-pity slouch and twisted to see Morgan too interested in the dirty tan pant legs of his. He scratched at some of the dried mud along the bottom. "Don't you dare say that. You haven't failed either of us."
He tilted his head and looked at her and a sad smile crept across his lips. She could feel his shrug against her arm. "Sound familiar?"
Lucina paused. He used his own insecurities against her. He may play it off as just giving her a taste of her own medicine, but she could see the reality of how much he believed in his own words. "Neither of us—or Mother—blame you at all," she said firmly and then sighed. "And I guess I see your point."
"Good."
They sat there side by side in silence again. Lucina felt like she should say something more. She should be the one comforting him now. She was the older sister after all and here she was being babied by her baby brother. Before she could formulate anything Morgan spoke up again. "Let's make a deal."
Lucina frowned. "What do you mean?"
Morgan smiled again but this time more sincere. "I'll promise to stop blaming myself for forgetting you and Father, if you promise to stop blaming yourself for thinking you're the cause of my lost memories. And together we'll make sure our family stays together in this timeline. Sound good?" He stuck his hand out waiting for her to return the gesture and shake on it.
Instead Lucina chewed on her lower lip and mulled over the offer. It would be a fresh start for them both and maybe then they could go back to how they used to be. Maybe not immediately. She couldn't just up and forget those two years like they were nothing and she knew Morgan couldn't simply give up trying to regain his memories of them but…. She grinned and ignored his proffered hand to in turn pull him into a hug—the first since returning to the past. Morgan laughed and returned it without question, already happier than she'd seen him all week. But just maybe together they could fix it all.
I apologize for the last scene and how choppy or bad it comes off. I've been toying with it for the past week and it's finally frustrated me to the point where I just wanted to be done with it. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed.