SLF: Hi guys! So you all know by now that I had to make a new profile for dumb reasons. This is the only incomplete story I thought it might be fun to finish! But to do that, I either had to link the stories or repost this first chapter. As I HATED the unclear formatting of the currently posted version, I decided to go with a repost. Please don't report me as I own both stories :) Enjoy the angsty, Dramione goodness, friends!
"Hm?" Draco Malfoy barely shifted his gaze to his girlfriend, "Oh yeah. I agree."
Pansy didn't notice his inattention and smirked, "I knew you thought she was a bushy, annoying girl. Anyway then she went on to-"
Draco tuned her out again. Pansy was his girlfriend. His girlfriend of status. Merlin knows he wasn't with her for her personality, or looks certainly. He hated her incessant chattering and her incredible need for his entire attention. He felt nothing more than annoyance for her really. Love was never something he was in ample supply of. Draco didn't love anyone in fact. 'Father' was a fool who didn't have sufficient intelligence to perform simple duties and 'Mother' was a coward who couldn't face her own husband. He inherited both of those traits. He smirked ironically at the thought. I'm just a product of my parents, he continued playing with his quill, I have no traits of my own.
"Draco? Draco are you listening to me?" Pansy's irritated whine brought him to attention. She had obviously been trying to gain his attention for several seconds.
"Of course I am; you're still on about Granger." Pansy smiled in a way, Draco imagined, she thought was charming. Then, to his dismay, she continued her prattling. Draco sighed inwardly and continued his own thoughts.
He was numb. Numb to any emotion other than annoyance and self-preservation. But, being numb, he couldn't bring himself to care. Several months ago he would have cared. But several months ago he had all the world to lose. Now that he had lost that, there was nothing left to care about. He picked his reputation over the one thing he had ever truly loved; her. And now, now it was far too late to change that.
"You're such a little ferret Malfoy!" Hermione Granger sneered as she ripped her book from his hands, "Keep away from my stuff!"
"As if I'd want to touch any of your filthy Mudblood possessions, Granger," Draco Malfoy retorted his eyes glinting maliciously.
To everyone else in the hallway, this was a typical fight and no one paid much notice. To Draco and Hermione this was all a game.
"What did you call me?" Tears were beginning to well in Hermione's eyes.
"You heard me," Draco smirked before walking around the corner. Hermione stood alone and angry in the hallway before rounding the same corner. She was thrust forcefully into the wall as a pair of lips encased her own.
"Tears hmm? A nice touch," a silky voice growled into her ear.
"Well," Hermione smirked against Draco's neck, "I was feeling a bit theatrical."
Classes were mundane as usual. Draco slid through the day with barely a thought. He could easily pass all of his classes even if he paid no attention. He had a photographic memory. All he had to do to make good marks was glance through the book a couple times and he was fine. As he was walking in the hall he heard an all-too familiar laugh somewhere in front of him. He looked up and saw her. Hermione Granger was arm in arm with Ron Weasley. He felt that common pang in his chest; it never went away.
At first it was jealousy, hatred; at him for being with her and at her for moving on like he was nothing. Now it was a throb of regret, of envy for their ability to be happy. Draco shrugged it off and willed himself to look down. He avoided her out of habit. When it first happened it was because he was a coward; he couldn't face her accusations, her glares. Now he did it purely on reaction. He had always been aloof so no one really noticed his absent behavior, which Draco was thankful for. The last thing he needed was for a bunch of 'concerned friends' to snoop and pry into his mind.
"You're doing it again." Well, Draco glowered turning to face the voice, no one except this pain in the arse,
"Doing what exactly might I ask?"
Blaise Zabini cocked an eyebrow, "Pining."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Go away Zabini," Draco growled turning around.
Blaise calmly caught up to him, "I'm more intelligent than any of the slobbering morons you keep company with, Draco. I've known all along. There's no sense hiding it from me."
Draco stopped. He had always suspected Blaise but Blaise had never confirmed what he knew until now.
Hermione sat in between his legs in a window sill. They were safe in the corridor, no one visited there. Draco had his arms wrapped securely around his little witch, almost daring fate to take her away from him. She leaned back and the clean scent of her hair wafted into his nostrils.
"Draco?"
"Hmm?" "I…I know we decided never to verbalize our attachment but…" Hermione paused hoping for reassurance. Draco knew instantly where she was going. Four months ago it would have scared him, now he was ready,
"Shhh," Hermione looked down dejected, "I love you Hermione Granger."
Hermione's head shot up in delight and she turned around and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. The force of the movement pushed the pair off of the window sill. As they landed with a thud they couldn't help but to burst into laughter. Unbeknownst to them, someone had been watching.
So what?" Draco sneered, "What are you going to do about it, hmm? Tell the school? Spread it around that Draco Malfoy lost his mind over a stupid Mudblood Gryffindor?"
Blaise merely raised an eyebrow, "You're being irrational."
"Am I? Blaise, I've stopped caring. I've stopped caring about everything," Draco turned around.
"Come off it you tosser," Blaise drolled.
Draco spun around, they had long been the only ones left in the hall, "What?"
"'I've stopped caring about everything.' You sound like a bleeding Hufflepuff," Blaise mocked rolling his eyes, "That's a load of shite and you know it."
Draco was beyond angry now, he pulled out his wand and pointed it directly at the haughty boy casually leaning against a wall,
"Zabini you better shut your mouth or I'll," he hesitated not exactly sure what he was threatening.
"Or you'll what?" Blaise scoffed, "If you really were this pathetic, numb little creature you claim to be, you'd stop looking at her. You'd stop staring at her when her back is turned. You'd stop sniveling in your sleep when your dreams are tormented by her. Yes I know about that Draco, I've heard you," He added as Draco began to protest, "Don't worry no one else has; I'm a much lighter sleeper than the rest of you."
Draco was silent. Then he slid down the wall and sat. Blaise was right; he always was. He understood people far better than anyone Draco had ever met.
"You're such a git Draco!" Hermione roared throwing a pillow at him. It was another fight about something stupid. Draco wasn't even sure what they were fighting about.
"Hey!" he shouted dodging the pillow, "What's your problem you madwoman?"
"Oh no," Hermione glowered, "Don't pretend I'm being irrational. I saw you today with her." With her? Draco thought and then realized.
He started laughing, "Pansy? Are you being serious? We already talked about this."
"YOU GIT!" Hermione threw yet another pillow, "Stop laughing at me! You held her hand today!"
"I have to!"Draco sighed exasperatedly, "If I didn't that pig would come snoop around as to why I'm no longer quite as 'devoted' to her."
"So you say!" Hermione pouted, albeit no longer throwing pillows, "I still don't like it."
Draco scooped her up in his arms to her surprise, "You're so damn annoying, woman."
Hermione opened her mouth to voice a retort but Draco interrupted her, "And you're sexy as hell when you're mad."
He then ended the discussion by kissing her hard on the lips.
"So what if you're right?" Draco murmured, "So what if you're right? I fouled up. She's gone. I kicked her out. It's all over with."
Blaise's lips curled into a disgusted sneer and he began walking away, "You obviously didn't love her."
Draco shot up, fuming, "What the hell did you just say?"
Blaise paused and, without turning around, said, "You. Obviously. Didn't. Love. Her."
"I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. How dare you?"
Blaise spun around stalking towards Draco until he was inches from his face, "How dare I? How dare I? How fucking dare you? If you really loved her that much you wouldn't have given her up. Yeah, you screwed up. Who gives a rat's ass? If you actually loved her you'd be doing something about it."
Draco was speechless. He'd never seen Blaise anything but quietly disgusted; the open rage was new.
"You're just scared. You don't know how to deal with it. I was wrong; you don't belong in Hufflepuff, Hufflepuffs are at least truthful," Blaise walked away.
Leaving Draco standing silently in the empty corridor.
"Draco," Hermione whimpered as he kissed her neck.
"Mhmm?" Draco murmured distractedly. He had waited so long for this.
"I," Hermione stammered uncharacteristically, "I,"
Draco ceased his ministrations and pulled back to look at her, "What's wrong?"
Hermione averted her gaze and took a deep breath, "I don't know if I can do this."
Inwardly, Draco screamed in frustration but he understood, "It's okay. We've talked about this."
"I know, I just," Hermione looked at him, "I'm a little frightened."
"Come off it," Draco grinned leaning his forehead on hers, "Where's this Gryffindor bravery you chaps are always going on about? I'll be very gentle with you."
Hermione took another deep breath, but before she could speak Draco grabbed her hands, looked her in the eyes and said, "I Draco Malfoy deeply love you Hermione Granger. If you want to wait I will wait forever," She smiled, "But that would be awful so please don't make me do that."
Hermione laughed. Grabbing the sides of his face she studied his eyes, "I'm ready. I want to share this with you."
"Fantastic," Draco grinned and kissed her hard.
Blaise, once again, was entirely correct. Bloody annoying too. He really was just pissing and moaning when he could get her back. And he wanted her back so badly he couldn't stand it. Her happiness with Ron made his prospects seem grim but he would try. He would try goddamnit.