A/N: This whole thing came from roleplay, the music video for 'The Ghost of You' by MCR and history. I tried really hard to make it as historically accurate as possible and I hope you like it? Prompt 65: Passing
Dedicated to Lieven. Thank you my friend.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I own nothing
A hero cannot exist without victims
There are many tales of heroism from the world wars, one and two alike, but today I want to tell you a tale of two boys. Two boys who grew up together, fell in love and were torn apart by war. Because, in the end, heroes may have been made in war, but there cannot be heroes without victims. Our tale begins in a small country, in a relatively small city in 1931. This poor little nation has suffered recently, in the Great War and is suffering now as worldwide economic depression reaches even this place of peace, lying on the northern most edge of Europe, beside the Baltic sea. A boy lives in this place; a young boy of merely seven years, with huge intelligent blue eyes behind poorly fitting glasses, floppy white-blond hair and gangly limbs that seem too long for the rest of his body. His name is Eduard. Now, there is nothing special about Eduard. He was born to normal parents, as an only child, late in his parents' lives. His parents remember the horrors of the Great War and of occupation of the Russian Empire, but Eduard was born into a free world, a new world. And he certainly hasn't suffered because of it. On the day we join him, it's early February and the snow is still thick on the ground, crunching under his leather boots that are too small for his long feet and well-loved from years of use.
...
"Tino, Tino, look!" Eduard cries, screeching a halt on the snowy ground as he finds it. "This one, this one!" His companion, a Finn, three years older than the wide-eyed child, laughs and stops beside him. Despite his three-year advantage, the older boy is not much taller, with inquisitive lilac eyes and a mop of blonde hair similarly.
"Okay, okay. I'll give you a boost." Giggling, the Estonian clings on to the other boy as Tino helps him up to the first branch of the pine tree they have found. With a slight grin, the elder watches nostalgically as the boy scampers up the tree like a squirrel, his square glasses slipping on his nose. The children do not know sorrow yet and pain only at a small physical level as they climb snow-crusted pines and run, hollering, through dark woods. The world, in its own little way has been kind to them so far, but such luck does not last. They cannot be little boys, friends across seas, forever. Soon, they have to grow up.
…
"Hey, Eduard!" The fifteen-year-old Estonian raises his head from the book he is reading to smile at the Finn who leans on the table across from him, a bright grin on his face. It has been a little while since Tino's father has crossed the Gulf on business and thus sometime since Eduard has seen his friend. In that time, Eduard has grown into himself, his limbs no longer so lanky and his glasses no longer so bulky. Tino, on the other hand, is eighteen, shorter than the younger boy by at least an inch and although he too has grown into his adult body, he has not changed much. Eduard likes this. Embracing, the boys laugh and ruffle each other's hair.
"I was thinking of going to get a drink, coming?" Tino says with a nonchalant grin and Eduard merely shuts his book in reply before they head off together. They reach the bar in no time and Tino orders beer. From their letters across the sea, Eduard expected no less. The Estonian just has fruit juice. He doesn't see the appeal of the bitter tang of alcohol and the subsequent headaches. The teens talk, not of usual topics like women and sport, but of politics and history and both of them scowl whenever Russia is mentioned, even if they do it themselves. The world is changing around them, but in that little city in that little nation, they are yet to feel its effects. Eduard drags Tino to his home when the Finn becomes a little tipsy and it is there when it happens.
"You know, Ed, I've never met anyone like you." The Estonian freezes, in the process of depositing the Finn on his bed. But he responds, voice soft as though the words were a prayer.
"I've never met anyone like you either, Tino."
"You make me smile. My wonderful little Estonian." Eduard bites back the retort that, really, he's not that little because it would spoil everything and perhaps Tino is suffering from the same deeply hidden, forbidden feelings. "You… You are special to me." And now the Finn looks absolutely sure that what he is saying is true, but also wrong, somewhere in society. Eduard can't find the words for a few moments and when he does, his voice cracks,
"You mean e-everything to me, Tino. I mean everything." Lightning fast, Tino takes Eduard's hand and clings to the cold fingers.
"Yes, yes… Eduard. Eduard, I think, I think I love you." Unbidden, tears prick Eduard's wide navy eyes and he nods eagerly, clutching at the Finn.
"Love. That's it… all this time, Tino… I have loved you," he whispers, voice that of someone who has just found out that really all that they were searching for was there in front them. Without warning, Tino's lips are upon his own but Eduard can only melt into the kiss, clinging to his hand ever tighter.
…
The news comes by letter.
Kultaseni,
I am sorry that I have to tell you the news this way. I have been conscripted to the army. I mean, I guess we both knew it was coming. Conscription has been a part of Finnish culture for a very long time. Still, it may mean I will not see you again for a long time due to… You know, pretty much everything. I still wish I could have seen you again, held you once more. I am sorry. I hope to see you again, alive.
Your dearest Finn,
Tino.
It is true. Eduard is aware that Tino would have been conscripted at some point, especially with the USSR pushing at the boundaries. But it does not make it easier for the Estonian to bear, thinking about his Finn on the front lines of some nameless war. Eduard has not yet finished his studies but now he feels like he never will as he reads and re-reads the letter he has been sent. In the wild, desperate hope that he will someday see the Finn again, he joins his own army, lying about his age. But in end, they are desperate for soldiers and he has always looked more than his sixteen years. And so, they are both swallowed up in the war and unrest of the world.
…
Now, our boys do not see each other for nearly two years, but they survive the first few years of the war. It changes them, the ruthless warfare. Eduard grows tired and dry, Tino ever more stubborn. But there is one more time when they meet, in 1941, on opposing sides…
Tino looks at the place he once could have called a second home, his gut feeling as though it is full of lead. The Estonian troops have created a weak barrier ahead of their city, trying to hold it and Tino wonders, numbly, if Eduard is among them. He missed the Estonian and their letters just aren't enough anymore. Slowly, he shoulders his sniper's rifle, before exchanging it for a normal gun. This time, he will not sit on the side lines and pick out the enemy. He will run into the fray. Soon, soon it will be time, assures his general and Tino just feels sick, watching the Estonians the distance scuttle around, trying to fortify their city. When they charge, there is a barrage of bombing and the Estonians have to flee or die. Tino shoots blindly, without aiming; half hoping that he won't hit anyone when he feels a sharp shooting pain in his leg. He manages to get to the Estonian's fortification before he collapses, clutching at his ankle.
"T-Tino…" The voice is weak and tired but Tino knows it immediately. Rolling over, he spots his wonderful Estonian lying on the bloodstained ground, clinging to his side.
"Eduard! Eduard, ah, ei, ei…" The Finn crawls over to the younger boy who coughs, his glasses spattered in blood. Clutching at his hand, the elder bit his lip. "Ei, Eduard…"
"Tino. I've missed you," whispers the Estonian, raising a pale, blood-stained hand to cup his cheek. Before he knows it, the tears are streaming from Tino's eyes as he leans into the soft touch.
"I've missed you too, Eduard. B-But, but you can't give up! We'll get you to a medic. Or something!" And Eduard's sad smile tells him all he needs to know. The bullet is too deep. There is no healing. "Eduard…"
"Shh, shh. It's okei. It's nice to see you again. Even if it is now, under this red sky at the fall of Tallinn…" Looking up, the Finn can see the Finnish troops enter the city and hear the screams. He looks away, down at the dying boy in his arms.
"I wish it wasn't like this."
"Me too." Both the boys are silent for a long moment, gazing at each other. Eduard's navy eyes are dull and he looks tired, but still he smiles as he bleeds out in the Finn's arms.
"I… I love you." The whisper is so faint, that Tino has to strain to hear it, despite them only being inches apart.
"I love you too…" And the elder boy's words are choked with repressed sobs as the Estonian's smile brightens one last time before his eyes become as cold as the unforgiving world around them. Tino doesn't move. Shaking, he merely clings to the lifeless body of the boy he lived for, breathed for and so now, he just closes his eyes against this red day, this horrible end. This is not how it should have finished for them, but as I have said, war can make heroes, but for there to be heroes, there needs to be victims.
