Blah blah disclaimer blah. Is it June 12th yet?

Chapter one

It was Sunday and the weather was starting to turn; fall had reached Litchfield. More and more inmates could be seen hulking under the heavy brown coats that were standard issue or at the very least donning a gray hoodie. The sight of someone's skin had become a rare treat confined to the shower rooms. Piper tried to think about the last time she touched someone's skin and the elusiveness of the memory she was trying to claw at left a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Too hard," Alex winced and pulled away from her swabbing hand.

"Sorry," Piper said, finding herself back in the moment.

Alex recognized the far-off look on her ex's face, she had seen it more times than she could count; mostly when Piper didn't think she was looking. It was one of her favorite expressions – softening Piper's features to an almost dreamlike quality. Feeling herself drifting into the same blues Piper was clearly in, Alex snapped back. It was hardly the time for daydreaming. Still, she was glad she managed to save that face from Lolly's vengeance a few minutes ago.

"Thanks," she offered softly as Piper resumed swabbing her bruised cheek with cotton wool.

"Sure," Piper replied simply. "After all, this would've been my face if you hadn't jumped in when you did."

She stopped and let her hand fall into Alex's lap, holding her gaze the whole time, grateful to be touching another person and even more so that the person was Alex. Piper took a deep breath, reveling in the fact that since Alex returned to Litchfield she'd been able to breathe deeply. No more tension, no more knots in her stomach and most importantly, no more loneliness.

"Don't," Alex said, slowly returning Piper's hand to a safer spot away from her. "Don't make that face."

"What face?" Piper asked with feigned innocence.

"Piper I already told you…"

"I know what you told me, Alex and I think you're wrong."

"Is that so? You don't think that we're toxic, doomed to replay the same shitty mistakes over and over until one of us dies?"

"Why didn't you just let Lolly beat me up then? If you don't love me and so badly want to move on then…"

"Of course I love you, Pipes," Alex interrupted, her nonchalant admission silencing Piper instantly. "I never said I didn't."

"But…"

"I stuck up for you with that crazy bitch because I wanted to protect you. God knows I've fucked up in that department a few times. But if I can do it, I will. Because I love you."

A smile started playing on Piper's lips but Alex shook her head and shifted away from her, settling on the other end of the bunk they were both sitting on.

"No, I still stand by what I said. Piper…"

"It doesn't matter what you say Alex. Yeah we're doomed, doomed to always find our way back to each other. Like now."

"Like now? You ratted me out to my parole officer. That's not exactly destiny, Piper."

"I said I was sorry but I was scared okay. With you out there, not knowing whether you're alive or dead and that monster…"

"You think my being in Litchfield is keeping me safe from Kubra? Oh my god, how fucking clueless are you? Did you even play this out in your head before you picked up that phone?"

Piper sat back, tight-lipped. She came clean with Alex about how she ended up back in Litchfield, thinking that it would be endearing to her ex to realize just how much Piper was willing to do to keep her safe. Of course, she had her selfish reasons at the time for making that call but Alex didn't need to know about that. She was still dealing with her anger over being back and Piper knew the best plan was not to say anything to poke the dragon but somehow they found their way back there and the next best thing was to let Alex have her venting session and move on.

"I put everything on the line to get out of here, Piper. Now he knows… Kubra knows and I'm a sitting duck."

It was hardly the reunion Piper had imagined but she could see how pissed off Alex was. Pissed off and scared. She took her hand and held it tightly in an effort to ground her. She wanted Alex to see that now they were together, things would be okay.

"Hey, it's okay. We've all got your back in here. I don't think there's anything to…"

"You don't think? Do you have any idea what I'm dealing with here?"

"What we're dealing with."

"No, Piper," Alex said, pulling her hand back and shifting further away from her. "There is no 'we' in this. It's just me. It's always been just me."

"Always?"

"You mean you?" Alex said, finding it ever harder to control her rising anger. "How is Larry by the way?"

"That's not fair." Piper's response was flat.

"No, you throwing me aside like an old, used toy to go play happy yuppy marriage with Larry and then screwing me over by getting me thrown back in this hellhole when things with loverboy went south is not fair."

"Can we just talk without you being an ass?"

The change in Piper's demeanor softened Alex and she backed off, focusing a little too intently on her fingers in her lap. A sad smile crept slowly onto her face and when she looked up Piper saw her eyes were misted over.

"You don't get it. You never did," Alex said, biting her lower lip in an effort to keep the tears at bay. "That's why it's always been so easy for you to leave. But I can't deal with that now. I need to keep my shit together. Look out for myself."

"You think I'm not looking out for you? That I don't get it?" Piper wasn't sure if she was more hurt or angry.

"Keep your voice down."

"I wanted you to be safe," Piper persisted but lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm sorry. I thought it was the right thing to do."

Alex shook her head in disbelief as she just looked at Piper, who shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. She was mad at herself for getting caught out in such a stupid way; ostracizing herself for throwing away her only good chance at a fresh start. Only to learn later that there was nothing serendipitous about her current situation, that it had been carefully orchestrated by the one person she thought she could trust.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter now anyway," Alex said eventually, her anger dissipating to resignation. "Whether I'm in here or out there, I'm not walking away from this. That's not how he operates."

"Don't say that," Piper said.

"When I pointed him out in that courtroom it was like signing my own death warrant. I know Kubra and he won't let this go until it's over."

Alex locked eyes with Piper and hearing her words, saw her own fear reflected in Piper's face. For the first time ever Alex found herself wishing for Piper to say something optimistic and dreamlike and naïve to help convince her that she was wrong but it didn't come. Instead she just stared back at here with a pitiful look on her face that made her stomach turn. That's when Alex knew that she had been right. She was living on borrowed time.

"Do you mind?" Stella asked, breakfast tray in hand.

Her sudden appearance made the rest of the table fall quiet instantly. Piper looked up at her, stunned to silence by the request. Stella Carlin was one of the new girls at Litchfield and mostly kept to herself since she arrived. Litchfield often saw those inmates, the ones who chose to get through their sentence without making any kind of connection with anybody.

Nicky looked around at the usual crew but neither of them gave any indication that they were about to answer the open question. She looked at Piper who was still frozen in her seat, looking a little puzzled and so took it upon herself to extend a friendly gesture.

"Go ahead," Nicky said and Sister Ingalls shifted a little to her right in response, making space for Stella between her and Yoga Jones.

"Thanks," Stella said and sat down.

An awkward silence fell over the table then as they tried to not stare at the new girl while she ate. Eventually, frustrated by the sudden shift in atmosphere Piper decided to say something.

"Have you been assigned to work duty yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, she's in electrical with us. Starts today," Nicky said, winking openly at Stella.

"Let the girl talk for herself," Morello interjected.

"You seem to know a lot about somebody you don't know, Nichols," Yoga Jones teased. She knew by the look on Nicky's face the day Stella arrived at Litchfield that she was marked as yet another conquest for the wild haired, sex crazed girl.

"You're Chapman," Stella said, ignoring everyone else.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Piper replied, trying to sound tough but feeling a little uncomfortable under Stella's unwavering gaze.

There was no denying she was attractive but Piper wasn't sure how to deal with the attention. The fact that she might be enjoying it made it even more confusing for her. She hadn't cared about another woman's attention since meeting Alex more than a decade ago and that made processing Stella that much harder.

"It's good to know who you can and can't trust around here," Stella said plainly.

"And which category would I fall into?"

Stella smiled to herself and took a long, slow sip of her water, while everyone at the table watched rapt with anticipation, sensing the drama about to unfold and not wanting anything to disrupt it, not even their breathing.

"What do you think?" she said eventually, clearly enjoying putting Piper on edge.

"Who've you been talking to?" Piper asked, now really curious about Stella's perception of her and how it came about.

"Seems like her new bunkmate's been in a sharing mood," Nicky said.

"Who? Alex?"

"I told you to play nice with that one," Nicky went on. "The bite on that bitch is not to be fucked with."

"I've been playing nice," Piper replied indignant, the thought of Alex making everyone else at the table disappear in a blur of insignificance. "She told me she wanted space and I gave it to her. She wanted time and I haven't so much as looked in her direction." The more she spoke, the more worked up she became and Nicky just smiled in response, amused by how quickly Piper got riled up at the mention of her ex. "I mean, she's been sitting on her own over there this whole time and I barely noticed that she keeps looking over at me. Any other day I would've gone over there and talked to her, but I haven't. So clearly I've moved on," Piper finished, not realizing her contradictory statement and not noticing the knowing looks on her friends' faces. "I have!" she repeated off the stupid smile Nicky was giving her.

"Okay, okay, jesus," Nicky said, raising her hands in surrender. "Keep your panties on. I believe you."

She didn't though and Piper knew it. She didn't believe herself either. What was worse was that everyone else could see it. Stella included. She knew it was unlike Alex to open up to anyone and she was even more closed off since she got back to Litchfield. She was in a whole other mindset, convinced that Kubra was out to get her and that she had to keep her distance from anyone who might be paid off to do a job for him on the inside. But Stella seemed to know a bit too much to be guessed at. Could it be that Alex formed a connection with her out of desperation? Piper of all people knew that it was impossible to get through life in prison alone and maybe Alex felt safe confiding in her new bunkmate for the same reasons Piper felt driven to form relationships during her incarceration.

Stella was here though, not sitting with Alex. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen the two so much as share the same space let alone speak to each other since the new inmates were assigned to their bunks. Was their connection a secret then? And if so, why?

She watched Stella, who was getting through her breakfast without looking up, without another word, seemingly satisfied in the discord she caused. There was something about her that Piper didn't trust but she couldn't put her finger on it. There must be an agenda though, she was sure of it. Why had she decided to have her breakfast there that morning? Why had she provoked Piper the way she did? And why had she played in to the new girl's hand like an idiot?

"I don't want to be late on my first day," Stella said rising from the table. "And just so you know," she said to Piper, "she didn't tell me anything. She doesn't talk at all actually. I'm just really good at people. I see things…know things...and don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she ended and turned to leave.

"She's a little too intense for my taste, that one," Sister Ingalls said.

"You've been keeping secrets from me again, Chapman?" Nicky said, addressing the more obvious issue. "What is it?"

"Beats me," Piper replied as she watched Stella leave the cafeteria.

Yes, there was definitely something about her – something dangerous and dangerously provocative.

"It's good to see your face again," Piper said, trying to sound cheerful. The bruises on Alex's face were practically gone.

Tired of the distance that Alex was forcing between them and anxious about Stella's supposed involvement and probable meddling in what was none of her business, Piper decided to be more forceful about getting Alex to change her mind. She had timed her shower that morning to coincide with Alex's and found her applying eyeliner when she walked in. There was nobody else there yet and Piper was glad for it. Early risers in Litchfield were few and far between and that allowed them some rare alone time.

"It's like it never happened," Alex said, taking time to look away from the mirror and offer Piper a smile.

Her insides gave a jolt at the seemingly benign show of friendliness but Piper knew that it was a huge step in the right direction where Alex was concerned. She hadn't flat out ignored her and that was worlds better than where they were days ago. Piper found herself sweeping her gaze over Alex's towel-wrapped body, her eyes lingering on the little tucked in piece on her chest, her vivid memory filling in what was hidden underneath.

Alex was busying herself at the mirror again so didn't see the blatant undressing with eyes that was going on right next to her but she could feel Piper staring. A surge of warmth started up in her stomach and spread to the area between her thighs. There was no denying that her ex still had a strong effect on her. It was what she hated and loved about Piper. The woman drove her crazy. Alex set down her eyeliner and looked up to find Piper still staring, her lower lip clenched between her teeth as if they were the only things stopping her mouth from fulfilling the desire so clear in her eyes.

"Are you going to the movie tonight?" Piper asked, eventually filling the electric silence.

"Maybe," Alex responded, turning fully to face Piper head on and leaving barely an inch between them.

"Your new girlfriend going with you?" Piper asked, referring to Stella.

"New girlfriend?" Alex laughed loudly. "What are you talking about?"

"You know," Piper said coyly and took the edge of the towel between her fingers, playing absently with it while locking her gaze on Alex's.

"There's no new girlfriend."

"No?"

"Yeah, things were pretty fucked up with my old girlfriend and I'm just not ready for more drama," Alex said playfully.

For some inexplicable reason she was enjoying the banter that came so easily with Piper. For some reason, she couldn't remember why she needed to keep her distance. Piper had a way of doing that – making her forget everything. Making herself the centre of the universe. For some reason, Alex didn't mind. She edged closer to Piper, closing the little space between them. She felt Piper's hand slip under her towel, her fingers now tired of the edging and tracing a blazing trail on her bare skin as they found their way to her breast. A tiny gasp escaped her mouth as Piper's fingers made contact with what they were searching for.

"This old girlfriend of yours," Piper said, her voice low and thick with arousal. "Is she hot?"

Alex realized that there was no turning back from this. Her body was beyond her control the second Piper touched her. Her mind, well her mind stopped being hers whenever the blonde walked into the room. Distance was easy to achieve when there were physical barriers helping you keep away from the thing you mustn't be with. In here though, how the fuck was she supposed to say no to that mouth?

As if in response to the question in her head, Piper grazed her lips along the soft hollow spot on her neck. Alex felt her knees betray her a little and closed her eyes to drink in the sensation. This is it, she thought, the end of my resolve. Once again, I'm Piper's fool to do with as she pleases. Once again, I totally don't care. She took Piper's face in both her hands and lifted her mouth to hers. That first kiss, after so long, was hot and desperate. Their tongues searching urgently for that familiarity, that love that nobody – not even they – understood.

Piper felt Alex give in to her and she did a little victory dance in her head as she pressed herself against her, hating the barriers of the towel, her clothes…Who was Stella and what did she know? Piper leaned harder into Alex, kissing her deeper in a bid to expel thoughts of the new girl from her head. This was what was real and they were untouchable. She would make Alex see it too. As long as they had each other in this fucked up place, everything would be okay.