Prologue: Thirsty Boys
This is just the prologue we ain't getting to the meat of the matter yet
There will be no fucking this chapter
If you don't like the word Pac or you just dont care about any character that aren't the main characters, skip this shit.
I don't own Smash Bros. I would by now if Nintendo accepted my offer though.
It was a miserably hot and dry day in the middle of the Pac-Desert, with no signs of Pac-Civilization to be seen anywhere. Not a single Pac-Cloud was in sight, giving no safe haven from the harsh Pac-Sun. A bus with the words "PUSSEE SMASHERS" emblazoned on the side with blue and red flames drives down the seemingly endless Pac-Road, tailed by a white van. Coarse Pac-Sand was blown by the warm Pac-Breeze, buffeting the windows of the two automobiles, leaving a number of small Pac-Scratches.
Inside the bus, protected from the unforgiving conditions of the Pac-Desert, was a group of teen boys, lounging about. The eldest of the boys scratched the side of his head with a bored look, running his fingers through his short, ruffled black hair. He yawned as he stretched his arms above his head, his muscles bulging through his white shirt. "Fuckin' Christ, this is takin' forever." He exclaimed in an exasperated tone.
"Complaining about it isn't going to make it go any quicker, Ryu." said a skinny blue haired boy lying down on the couch, strumming a guitar.
Ryu made a face of annoyance and crossed his arms in disapproval as a set of blue eyes glanced over to him. "lol nigga quit ur bitchin".
Quickly turning his head to the source of the taunt, Ryu glared at a blonde boy laying in the middle of the floor with his hands behind his head, staring at him with a cocky grin. "Don't make me kick your ass, Shulk." retorted the muscle bound young man, before throwing the nearest object at him, which just so happened to be a can of Pac-Peaches. Without a flinch Shulk caught the can and began tossing it into the air repeatedly.
"Whoa there babycakes, ya don't have to be so salty." He said with a shit-eating grin.
A tall, very pale man with sex viruses emerged from a back room of the bus, his hands on his hips in a dominating stance. "What in the world are you boys arguing about?" he questioned.
"Ryu is being a pouty fuckboi again" said Shulk, focusing on the can of Pac-Peaches he was tossing in the air. "Marth? What's actually going on here?"
"They're both being babies." Marth replied quickly, paying all his attention to his sick guitar riff. As Wii Fit Dad sighed, he returned to the room from whence he came, and Ryu turned to a short, muscular boy reading a body building magazine. He obviously learns a lot from the magazines, judging from the muscles bulging through his tank top.
"What do you think, Mac?" Ryu questioned.
"Don't drag me into this." He said quickly and simply.
Letting out a long exaggerated grunt, Ryu slammed his head back against the wall before shouting, "Mario! When the hell are we gonna get to Kanto?"
The big nosed, thick mustached bus driver wearing patriotically colored overalls and cap glances back quickly before returning his attention to the road and speaking with a loud voice, "It'll be-a-maybe another few hours."
It was sometimes a bit difficult to understand what he was saying with that thick foreign accent of his. But no one in the band wanted to bring it up, partly because no one wanted to offend him, and since he gets so defensive when the subject of where he's from comes up. The only thing the band has to go on about his origins is his accent, which sounds vaguely ethnic. They've narrowed it down to Greek, Italian, or Mexican.
Or something like that.
Shulk had now opened the can of Pac-Peaches and started snacking on them. "Hoo boy, we've got to deal with a whiney Ryu for another few hours then." He said with a full mouth.
"Hey Mario!" Marth shouted, trying to make his voice heard over the sound of the bus's engine and the Pac-Wind outside. "When is the next pit stop? We should probably break for lunch soon, and Shulk is hogging the last can of Pac-Peaches." Still paying minimal attention to anything other than the guitar he was shredding a tasty riff on. "We should-a-be arriving at Pac-Land in a few minutes" the mustachioed midget replied. Just then the bus engine went quiet and the vehicle started slowing.
"Oh no! We're-a-out of gas!" The driver said while pulling the vehicle to the side of the Pac-Road. Little Mac continued reading his magazine, completely unconcerned, while Marth finally put his guitar aside and moved to the front of the bus, accompanied by Ryu and Shulk. "What do you mean we're out of gas? I thought we filled up on gas back at Flat Zone!" Marth cried, with worry in his pussy fuckboi eyes.
Mario nervously took off his hat to scratch his head, "but Flat Zone was-a-long ways-a-back. We also didn't get-a-full tank, because the Game and Watches chased us out of town before we finished fueling." He said, returning his cap to his head.
"Ugh" Shulk groaned. "God damn Watch supremacists.
"But the roadie van should-a-have enough gas to make it to Pac-Land, so we can get-a-gas can to bring back. That should be enough to hold the bus off until we can get there." Explained Mario. Shulk leaned back against the stairs' handrail, prodding at a slimy slice of Pac-Peach with his index finger, seemingly not concerned about the situation at all. "Alright, you go with the roadies to get gas. We'll stay in the bus to make sure no one steals our shit." Said Ryu with a deep voice.
Mario glanced out the window to see the roadie van parking in front of them. Everyone watched a tall man jump out of the van and sprint to the bus, shielding his eyes from the relentless Pac-Sand.
Mario opened the door quickly to let the man in. Just after the man stepped into the bus, Mario closed the door to prevent any Pac-Sand from getting in. The tall man was much younger than he looks, being no older than 25. He wore a skin tight, blue jumpsuit, and a red helmet with a gold emblem on the front in the shape of a falcon. "What's holding you guys up? If we keep wasting time here, we'll never get to Kanto."
"Out of gas" replied Ryu, simply.
"Well the van probably has enough to make it to Pac-Land. Anyone wanna come with us?" The man questioned.
"No thanks, Captain Falcon." Shulk said, trying to sound disappointed. "But Mario oh, so graciously volunteered to brave the journey with you guys in our place." Shulk smirked; satisfied that he didn't have to leave.
"Thanks a million buddy" said Ryu while patting Mario on the back.
"Yeah Mario, thanks." Marth said while walking back to his guitar.
"Uh-huh" grunted Mac, still leafing through the body building magazine.
Mario looked back and forth between everyone with a nervous expression "b-but"
"C'mon! Let's get going!" Captain Falcon shouted while picking up Mario by the back of his collar. Kicking the doors open, Captain Falcon sprinted back towards the roadie van at an unbelievable speed. Honestly, how can he run so fast wearing combat boots?
Captain Falcon quickly tossed Mario into the back seat of the van, landing him next to a light gray and black robot. The robot made a whirring sound as he turned his head to Mario, giving him a nod of recognition. The patriotically colored bus driver pulled himself up into a sitting position, looking forward to see a gargantuan furry figure hunched over the steering wheel. Captain Falcon pulled a Dukes of Hazard through the window, effectively claiming shotgun, before excitedly yelling, "Punch it, DK!"
The giant monkey nodded and slammed his giant, hairless foot down onto the gas pedal. The van took off in a flash, making everyone sink into the back of their seats.
Mario buckled his seatbelt and heard a curious rattling noise from behind him. Looking back to see loads of equipment strewn about, presumably caused by the reckless driving of the ape behind the wheel. "So, uh.. R.O.B." Mario said in a shrunken voice. The robot once again turned to him, making eye contact between the bus drivers bright blue eyes, and the machines dark, empty camera lens' that seemed to stare into his soul.
Unsure of what to say, he asks "What-a-kind of tech do you work with?" R.O.B. replied with a high-pitched whir while lifting his arms and shoulders up and down a few times.
"Excuse-a-me?" Mario turned his head to the side, confused. From the front seat, Captain Falcon looked back to the two of them, saying "R.O.B. just said they work with the amps and the light's and stuff." "They?" Mario repeated in a curious manner. "R.O.B. doesn't have a gender. So we refer to them as they/them, none of that he/she crap."
Tapping his white gloved finger against his chin, Mario replied with "oh, because robots don't-a-have genders?" "Some do. But R.O.B. doesn't want to identify with either genders."
"Hm. Weird."
"Not weird. Just different"
"So what do you-a-do here, Captain Falcon?" questioned Mario. Captain Falcon slouched into his seat shifting until he was comfortable. "I'm kinda like the stage bodyguard. I make sure random audience members don't jump onto stage to try to molest the band." Mario quietly listened, slightly surprised at his bluntness. "But hey, it's paying for the tuition, and it's a hell of a lotta fun pushin people back. Good workout for the muscles, y'know?" Falcon said with a smirk.
"Tuition? You-a-mean like college?" Mario replied with admiration. He was starting to enjoy being with the other roadies, not the band members that kinda act like total pricks.
Putting his feet up on the dashboard and his hands behind his head, the man replied with "Yeah. I'm majoring in mechanical engineering. Ultimately, what I really want to do is work on the cars that do Nascar races." With a smile completed his answer with "But what would be REALLY great is if I could be a Nascar driver myself."
Looking towards the enormous monkey driving the van, Mario questioned "So-a-why are you here?" The ape responded with a short grunt so deep, it may have made the ground shake.
"DK's story is a bit complicated, but believe me when I say this. No one will ever get backstage unauthorized if he's on the job."
DK let loose an alarming chatter as he bounced up and down in his seat, patting on the co-pilots shoulder urgently. The contact didn't look like it had any foul intentions behind them, but judging by the sound, Captain Falcon is going to have a nasty bruise there by morning. Clutching his shoulder and grimacing in pain, he cried out "Viet Christ, Kong! What the hell has gotten into you?" DK, still bouncing up and down, repeatedly tapped on the fuel gauge, which was pointing to E.
"Aw, man…"
Like the bus, the van's engine whimpered until it eventually stopped all together. After pulling off to the side, DK put the car in park then exited through the door, walking on all fours down the Pac-Road towards their destination.
"Well, it's too hot in here for any of us to stay. I guess we're walking from here." Falcon said as he too left the van following the giant monkey.
Mario and R.O.B. soon joined them until Captain Falcon took a few steps backwards, saying "damn, I almost forgot something. Keep going, I'll be back in a jiffy." Captain Falcon then ran back towards the van, disappearing through the shroud of the Pac-Sand-Storm.
Mario slowly shuffled forward, sweat dripping down his face. He hadn't felt heat like this since he was back in his homeland. Oh, how he missed his homeland of-
"Alright! We're all good now." Falcon said after playfully slapping Mario on the back. Captain Falcon was panting heavily from running in the Pac-Heat, holding a strange pink blob under his arm.
"What-a-the hell is that thing?"
"Oh, this is just the band blow-up doll. It's pretty gross, isn't it? I already had to go back to lock the van, and the band would be pissed if anything happened to this thing, so I'll take it with us so we know it's safe." With two fingers Captain Falcon held it up by its arm, not wanting to touch it any more than he needed to. "This thing only has a mouth hole, so we call it Kirby. Cuz', y'know. It sucks. Like a vacuum." After hearing this, DK looked back at them before scoffing and continuing on.
The farther they went, the more doomed they felt. The Pac-Heat was starting to make them Pac-Delirious, the lack of water making them really thirsty boys (and R.O.B.). "I think I see Pac-Land up there" Said Falcon with a raspy voice, feeling exhausted.
R.O.B. didn't feel any different than normal, thanks to being a robot. But the cracked Pac-Road made it hard to advance with their wheels getting caught and what not. DK kept on, completely unaffected like a mother fuckin' unstoppable badass, while Mario collapsed to the Pac-Floor. The roadies huddled around him, contemplating whether they would eat him or not if he had died.
Mario slowly opened his eyes, seeing not the roadies, but a group of men wearing black suits and sun glasses. "Oh no! Not-a-the feds!" he screamed, jumping to his feet and backing away from them. "Whoa, he's really lost it." Captain Falcon muttered to DK and R.O.B. "Mario, we just gotta go a little further to get to Pac-Land. Then we can get some Pac-Water, alright?"
Mario ran off the Pac-Road towards the middle of Pac-Nowhere, screaming "You can't-a-make me go back! I'm-a-here legally!"
R.O.B. moved forward as fast as they could, their tiny plastic wheels kicking up Pac-Dirt. Positioning themselves in front of Mario, they performed a flawless low jump, and hit Mario square in the Chest with his 'back air', sending the totally legal (or is he?) foreigner flying backwards, tumbling on the Pac-Ground until finally coming to a halt.
Captain Falcon ran to Mario's side, checking to make sure he was alright. "God damn, R.O.B.! You could have killed him!"
R.O.B. slowly rolled their way back to the others, making whirring noises to defend their case.
"Yeah, but-"
*whir*
"R.O.B., quit trying to justify it!" Captain Falcon said, swinging Kirby the blow-up-doll forward and slapping them in their stupid looking robotic face.
In reaction, R.O.B. came at Captain Falcon, arms-a-swingin, until DK stepped in. "OOH AAH AH AH" Dankey Kang exclaimed as he held them back with his giant gorilla hands.
They flailed about trying to bridge the gap so they could beat the shit out of each other, until both of them accidentally punched DK right in the fuckin' kisser. DK's face darkened as he started to squeeze the both of them. Suddenly, he lifted them up above his head, then behind his back as he jumped up, and spiked them into the Pac-Ground.
Both Captain Falcon and R.O.B. bounced off of the Pac-Ground until they could get back onto their feet, the Kirby blow-up-doll rolling about on the Pac-Floor.
R.O.B. spun a top and released it towards Donkey Kong, but he short hopped over it like a fuckin' champ and continued his charge toward them.
Just as DK was going to bring the smack down on R.O.B., Captain Falcon leaped forward with an extended leg, flames surrounding him. He knocked both of them into the air, and then waited for them to come back down to his level. Pulling back his fist in preparation, he readied his ultimate attack for when they came back down to earth.
"Falcon…."
DK and R.O.B. continued plummeting down right next to each other. As DK looked over to Captain Falcon, he saw fire starting to surround his fist. "PAWNCH!" His fist sped forward, summoning a falcon made of flames.
Right before the attack could hit, DK performed a sick mid-air dodge, the fist barely missing him. The flames licked at his fur, singeing the short brown strands as the conjured pyro-bird flew past him.
As R.O.B. dropped down, the fist connected to their mechanical chest, cracks forming on the hard plastic. With a flash of black and red thunder, R.O.B. was sent flying through the Pac-Air, exploding into a pillar of fire.
DK steadied himself and kicked Captain Falcon far back. Like, maybe 15 feet or so. DK is a fucking monster though he can send you flying with no effort.
Regaining his balance, Captain Falcon extended his arm straight in front of him, Motioning with his fingers, challenging DK to advance toward him. "COME ON!"
DK sprinted towards him as Captain Falcon began to charge another punch. "FALCON…"
When DK arrived right in front him, it seemed like there would be no avoiding the powerful punch. Luckily, DK doesn't take shit from anybody
like he straight up could kill someone just by flexing.
"PA-"
Before the move could finish, DK quickly rolled behind him, and gave him a hardcore headbutt that buried him into the Pac-Ground. Captain Falcon struggled, trying to free himself. But alas, he was Pac-Buried up to chest, there was no escaping. He looked back to see DK swinging his fist in a circular motion, steam rising from his head.
As DK swung his enormous fuckin' fist forward, it hit Captain Falcon in the fucking face, breaking his nose. He went flying like a god damn bullet then he blew the fuck up because I fuckin' told you DK can beat anyone up.
Donkey Kong stood there with a scowl, his fists shaking involuntarily, anger having taken complete control over him. A slight Pac-Breeze came through, taking along with it, waves of Pac-Sand, and the Kirby blow-up doll, which hit DK in the face before falling to the ground and sliding a few feet like a cheap birthday balloon filled with oxygen and not helium.
DK snarled and began barreling towards the disgusting doll. But suddenly, he tripped forward and landed right on his ass. Like, fucking seriously, Nintendo? Tripping is such a dumb mechanic that isn't fun at all it takes away from the skill required to play that's why Project M took it out because it's total bullshit I mean it has a 1% chance to randomly happen like that's not even fucking fun its like they're trying to make every game less like melee which was the last GOOD smash game.
That's why the fans created Project M because Brawl was fuckin awful like there is absolutely no skill required to dodge roll everywhere and why did they take out ledge guarding from smash 4 it was a legitimate move that actually required skill to pull off but they just took it out like there would be no consequences but the true fans noticed its almost as if they're trying to punish the TRUE diehard fans of smash with their bullshit.
The only good decision they made with Smash 4 was to bring back Roy because he was an actual original fighter and not a clone like all the fuckin idiots say because Roy doesn't look like Marth and he also has fire Marth didn't have fire so ha they're not clones.
DK tripped, and fell to the Pac-Ground, lying on his back. When he tried to bring himself back up though, a harsh Pac-Wind blew by, pushing Kirby straight into his face with incredible force. DK was sent flying until he exploded into flames. Kirby was left sitting on the ground, claiming the victory for the fierce battle.
You should never let your guard down in a battle, even though it is hard to expect the unexpected.
And no one expects the blow-up doll.
The group awoke in a pile, with no memory of what happened. So they all just went back to the road and kept fuckin walking until they got to god damn Pac-Land.
When they arrived, they were greeted by a very friendly Pac-Man. "Welcome! It seems that you've stumbled upon Pac-Land! How can I Pac-Help you folks?"
"Wait; are you THE Pac-Man? The famous fashion designer?" Captain Falcon asked.
"Nope! I'm just a Pac-Regular Pac-Man!" he said smiling.
"Oh, sorry. You just kinda look exactly the same" Falcon muttered as he scratched the back of his head.
"Well now, lets calm down there with the Pac-Racism! Now, how can I Pac-Help you Pac-Folks?"
"We ran out of-a-gas down the road" Mario said, weakly.
"Alrighty then! The Pac-Gas station is right over there! " The enthusiastic Pac-Man exclaimed, pointing towards a Pac-Building down the Pac-Road. "Be careful though! Go too far and you'll end up in the Pac-Ghetto! That's where all the ghosts live!"
Walking towards the Pac-Building, they noticed that the Pac-Sign actually said 'Pac-Gas station'. Entering the Pac-Gas station, everyone except cpt crunch faclon made a bee-line to the Pac-Beverage section, because straight up they are thirsty boys.
Captain Falcon picked up two gas cans with the words 'Pac-Gas' on them and brought the pair over to the Pac-Counter. Behind the Pac-Counter was another Pac-Man, busy hanging boxes of Pac-Condoms onto their respective Pac-Pegs, and putting Pac-Cigarettes behind a glass Pac-Door.
"…Excuse me?" Falcon said, lightly knocking his fist against the Pac-Counter trying to get the Pac-Mans Pac-Attention.
Turning around, the Pac-Man's face lit up with a Pac-Smile. "Welcome! You've stumbled upon the Pac-Gas station! How can I Pac-Help you?"
"Uhhh… Does Pac-Gas work on Non-Pac-Engines?"
"What a silly Pac-Question! Of Pac-Course it Pac-Does!"
"Well alright then" Captain Falcon said as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "Do you accept Non-Pac-Money?"
"Look buddy we're in fucking America of course we take real money Pac-Money doesn't even exist you Pac-Dip-Shit."
"Cool."
Just then the rest of the group slammed their beverages onto the counter. R.O.B. had a can of Pac-Oil, DK had a Pac-Banana smoothie, and Mario had some weird foreign bullshit you always see at gas stations.
"We'll take all this and 30 dollars on pump #1." Captain Falcon said, putting his money on the Pac-Counter.
"Very good sir!" the Pac-Man happily rang up all the items and bagged them. "Have a nice Pac-Day!" The Pac-Man, with a huge Pac-Smile on his Pac-Face, watching them leave through the Pac-Door.
"What-a-the hell is wrong with this place?" Mario muttered.
After filling up the 2 Pac-Gas cans, they walked down the Pac-Street towards the long Pac-Highway leading to the van. The loud noise of a Pac-Engine roaring behind them made the turn their heads. "Hello again, our honored Pac-Visitors!" the Pac-Man shouted over his Pac-Cars Pac-Engine as he pulled up next to them.
Captain falcon took one glance at the strange roofless vehicle and asked "What kind of car is this?"
"Why, it's a Pac-Mustang, of Pac-Course! It's only the hottest Pac-Car of the Pac-Season!"
Mario took a quick look at the car and asked "Can you-a-give us a lift to our van, a-pretty-please?"
"Sure! Not a Pac-Problem! Hop in!" He yelled, pulling Mario into the passenger's seat.
Everyone got into the car and The Pac-Man took off like a Pac-Bat out of Pac-Hell.
As they finally arrived at their van, the worn out roadies piled out of the Pac-Mustang. Their backs hunched, and their arms dangling, they stumbled their way towards the safety of the van.
R.O.B. still didn't give a shit though.
"Thank you so much for giving us the lift!" Mario thanked the Regular-Man. Mario felt as if the 'thank you' itself took too much of his limited energy.
"Don't even worry about! It was a pleasure! I mean, at the end of the day, we're all Regular-People, right?"
"...Wait. Where's the 'Pac' in that statement?" Captain Falcon mumbled.
The Regular-Man looked at them with mild surprise until he spoke, "Oh! You guys don't know! When not in Pac-Land, Pac-People become Regular-People! So right now I'm Regular-Man! Well, I'm off to pick up some Pac-Bitches! See you guys later!" and just like that, the Regular-Man was gone.
"Let's get the hell out of here A.S.A.P." Captain Falcon said while filling the van with Pac-Gas.
The ride back to the bus was quiet, no one wanting to speak of the Pac-Horrors they experienced in Pac-Land. Pulling up to the bus, they filled the tank with the small amount of Pac-Gas that they had before explaining the situation to the band members. "We have enough Pac-Gas to get-a-to Pac-Land, so we're going to-a-fill up there and leave." Mario explained.
"We're going to stop for food though, right? We're starving here." Marth said.
"We're just going to get Pac-Gas and leave as soon as possible" Captain Falcon said, blankly staring at the floor, cringing after realizing he actually used Pac as a prefix.
Shulk looked at him, confused. "Should I even ask?" he queried. R.O.B. looked directly at Shulk and shook their head, the sound of mechanical parts shifting the only sound filling the silent bus. "Let's just get going already" said Little Mac, still in the same spot, still reading the same magazine.
The drive back to Pac-Land went off without a hitch. When they pulled into the Pac-Gas station, Captain Falcon sprinted out of the van, slamming a credit card into the Pac-Slot and topping off the vans gas tank as quickly as Pac-Possible.
Mario did the same with the bus, keeping his head down in hopes that no Pac-Men will see him.
The sound of the bus door opening made Captain Falcon flinch. He looked over to see Ryu climbing down the stairs then casually walking towards the main Pac-Building of the Pac-Gas station.
Falcon sprinted towards Ryu and started dragging him back to the bus. "What the hell are you doing!" exclaimed Captain Falcon in a hushed tone.
"Calm down, I'm just going to grab some food." Ryu replied, breaking away from his grip and continued towards the Pac-Building.
"No no no no no! They might see y-"Captain Falcon stopped dead in his tracks as he looked through the Pac-Buildings Pac-Window to see the Pac-Cashier smiling at them.
"Get back in the bus" Captain Falcon pleaded urgently. "Before it's too late."
The Pac-Man walked out of the Pac-Store to Pac-Greet them. "Howdy again! Who's your friend here?" He said with a big Pac-Smile.
"Um, this is just my friend Ryu and we're just passing through here really quick because we're in a really big hurry" Captain Falcon said quickly trying to pull Ryu back to the bus.
"That's Pac-Fantastic! Do you need any help with anything?"
Captain Falcon was getting desperate now, putting all his weight into pulling Ryu back, but Ryu was unfazed.
"Actually I wanted to pick up something to eat." Ryu stated.
"Alright! Inside we've got plenty of Pac-Snacks! Just take your Pac-Pick!"
Ryu groaned, crossing his arms. "I was hoping for something bigger than snacks." Ryu stated, making Pac-Man smile.
"Well, in that Pac-Case…" Pac-Man muttered as he checked to see if anyone was around before leaning in and whispering, "The Pac-ening is happening tonight."
Captain Falcon looked around nervously, hoping no extra Pac-Men would pop out. "Uh yeah that's great but we really need t-"
"What the hell is the Pac-ening?"
Captain Falcon had to fight the urge to punch Ryu in the back of the head for asking that.
The Pac-Man slowly nodded with a disturbing smile and said "The Pac-ening is when all the Pac-People of Pac-Land go out and Pac-Cleanse the Pac-World of all the inferior beings, known as ghosts." He chuckled, making Ryu start to feel uncomfortable.
Pac-Man pulled out a bag with several yellow orbs in them, taking one and presenting it to the startled young adults.
"These power pellets will make you unstoppable. With these, you become invincible to the ghosts, allowing you to Pac-Eat their delicious Ghost-Flesh." Pac-Man stared at them darkly.
The sound of someone clearing their throat caused Ryu and Captain Falcon to look back and see Mario standing in the doorway of the bus giving a thumbs up.
"I'll have to pass on that one. You have fun with your murders" said Ryu, briskly walking back to the bus.
"Oh, trust me. You're going to be missing out on a good Pac-Time!"
The bus engine roared to life and drove off into the night. Captain Falcon jumped through the van window into the passenger seat sloppily. Landing on his shoulder, his feet hanging out the window, he shouted, "GO!"
DK wasted no time in dropping the hammer (gas pedal), sending them down the road like a bullet. The crew looked back, through the rear window, to see the Pac-Man standing in the same place, staring at them with his dark empty eyes and large sinister grin.
"Oh shit, I just remembered" Captain Falcon groaned while pulling himself up.
R.O.B. let out a questioning sound that robots make I don't fuckin know.
Don't blame me for that shitty sentence, I'm just the god damn editor I don't fucking know what the fuck the writer is trying to say even. The original statement was "roB ley our a questtonen boobledop". Do you fucking see what I have to deal with? I don't even have to fucking worry about saying all this shit here. That fucker probably doesn't even check what I edit. Fuck you, Ruby's Smegma.
Dragging his hand down his face, Captain Falcon grunted, "I forgot Kirby in the desert."
"So," Shulk stated with one hand behind his head, while he inspected his other. "How much longer do we have?" he said before blowing away a speck of dirt he'd pulled out from under his nail. If you think that's gross get fucking used to it because guys do that no rhyme or reason to it because guys aren't squeamish fuckbois.
Mario grumbled, trying his hardest to stay awake. Little Mac finally stood up from his seat, moving towards the front of the bus.
"Hey, guys. Check it out."
Marth, Shulk, and Ryu stood up together and joined Little Mac at the head of the bus, looking through the windshield. They saw a large sign with large text and a symbol behind it, of a red and white ball. The text read,
"YOU ARE NOW ENTERING, KANTO"
Thank you very much for reading the beginning of my story! I worked soooooooo hard on it:)!
I also want to thank my amazing editor! They're the best! 3