I Will Always Love You, But I Don't Need You Anymore
A new story. What if Finn finally comes to his senses after the prom, but Rachel had realized that there is life without Finn Hudson? I do not own Glee or any of the characters.
Rachel stood on the stage in her powder blue dress at Regionals and sung like she had never sung before. She had written Get It Right hoping Finn would remember that she always expressed herself best through song. The song was the culmination of all of the pain, and rejection that she had received not only from Finn, but from her mother, and Jessie, and her peers as well.
She had poured all of her emotions onto that single sheet of lined notebook paper like she was purging her soul. When the song was finished, she felt a peace that she hadn't felt in a long time.
Finn had heard her song at rehearsals, but his mind was so wrapped up in Quinn and writing Loser Like Me, she knew he hadn't realized that her song was for him. She had given her song her all. She asked him to listen carefully because she meant every word. It was all or nothing.
As she sang, she felt the strain on her vocal cords being pushed to the top of her range, but she pushed on, hoping someone would see how much she cared.
When the song ended the crowd roared, but she never heard them. She was looking to see if one boy had gotten her message. Finn gave her his famous half smile which gave her hope.
At the end of their second song Finn grabbed her in a hug. Her heart began to pound in the way only he could make it pound. Had he gotten her message? Did he realize what she was trying to convey to him? Her words and apologies hadn't reached him, maybe her song would.
Then she turned and saw Quinn's death stare from the end of the stage. Finn saw it too, because he immediately released his grip on Rachel's waist.
His warmth, his smell, his touch were immediately gone as he walked over to Quinn side like a puppy who knew that he had done wrong.
Rachel hadn't given up hope. Maybe he had seen the error of his ways and just needed to end it with Quinn, but she was soon badly disappointed.
Boarding the bus, Rachel took a seat near the back with Mercedes. Finn sat down with Quinn on the other side of the bus three rows in front of her. As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, Finn wrapped his arm around Quinn and kissed the side of her head for a few seconds. Quinn turned to make sure Rachel had seen him do it.
That was the second that changed Rachel and Finn's world forever. Rachel didn't know if it was an epiphany or an apocalypse, but in that second, her dependence on Finn Hudson was over. She was neither swept over with a feeling of sorrow or anger, but one of liberating freedom.
She had written an amazing song and gave the performance of her life. From that moment on she knew that she could make it on her own. She was stronger than all of them.
Arriving back in Lima, she and Mercedes were the last ones off of the bus. Finn already had his and Quinn's bags slung over his shoulder and was walking Quinn to her car. His arm was again wrapped around the bleached blonde's shoulders.
Rachel exchanged hugs and congratulations with the others before she headed home. After telling her dads about the win, she showered, put on her pajamas and sat down in the middle her bed. Hours later she had completed her second song. It wasn't about regret or longing, but about believing in herself.
Monday at school, the Glee club was royalty for a little while. No one had been slushied all day. At Glee practice that afternoon, Rachel could tell that Finn wanted to enjoy the win with the others, but Quinn had to pull him aside with nothing but talk of prom. Before Mr. Schue dismissed them for the day, Quinn said that she had an announcement to make. She stood before the group and told them that she and Finn were once again a couple and they were running for Prom King and Queen. She expected all of them to vote for the two of them.
Her announcement was really of no surprise to anyone. As she spoke, Rachel noticed Finn giving her his deer in the headlights look.
The next afternoon Lauren stood up and announced
that she and Puck were also running for Prom King and Queen. Santana only smirked and asked if they were going for the "vote for worst" vote.
Prom was quickly approaching and "Vote for Finn and Quinn" posters were plastered all over the school. Lauren and Puck had already secured the votes from the AV club and the wrestling team.
Rachel went on about her days, but her dads really wanted her to attend the prom even if it meant going alone. They told her that it was a mile stone event and neither one of them had been allowed to attend their own proms.
Rachel did like the idea of getting dressed up and being the belle of the ball if not the queen. She asked Sam if he would like to go with her since he had already bought a tux. It would be one friend attending with another friend. No date, no commitment, just friends.
Sam was glad that she asked seeing how both of them were Finn and Quinn's road kill.
Prom night came and both Hiram and Leroy were impressed with both Sam's manners and his attentiveness to their daughter. Rachel had told them that they were just two cast offs commiserating with each other, but that didn't stop the dads from giving her a thumbs up as Sam escorted her out the door.
At the prom Rachel told Sam that he didn't have to hang out with her the whole time. He was free to dance with anyone that he wanted.
"Tonight, I only have eyes for you. You may not be running for prom queen, but you're certainly the most beautiful girl here," Sam whispered to her.
"Thank you, but I'm not here to make anyone jealous," Rachel told him. "My dads wanted me to come for them, and I'm only here to have a good time. No more, no less."
"Point taken," Sam said back to her. "I'm here to have a good time as well and hope that Lauren beats Quinn for Prom Queen."
Nearing midnight, Principal Figgins took the stage to announce the Prom Queen and King and their court.
Quinn knew that she had it in the bag and already had her acceptance speech written and tucked in her push-up bra.
As the announcements were made, Quinn soon realized that she and Finn had been elected to the court not king and queen. Lauren and Puck took the shiny crowns for Prom King and Queen.
Quinn boiled but smiled for the cameras. She told Lauren that she only won because everyone voted for the worst. Then she lit into Finn. She told him that it was his fault that they didn't win. He hadn't campaigned as hard as she had. Throwing her tiny bouquet of prom princess roses into the trash she stormed out of the gym leaving Finn finally realizing that he'd been used.
Principal Figgins tried to restore order by having the DJ play the music for Puck and Lauren's spotlight dance.
Rachel and Sam took the dance floor with the others leaving a confused Finn standing there embarrassed.
"I'd feel sorry for him, but I can't." Rachel whispered to Sam. "Everyone else saw what he couldn't."
"Does this mean that you and Finn will be getting back together?" Sam asked Rachel as they slow danced across the gym floor.
"No, I've finally purged Finn Hudson from my system. I'm at peace now, and it's a liberating feeling." Rachel whispered back.
"Does that mean that I might have a chance with you?" Sam asked.
"No, I'm afraid not." Rachel said as she shook her head. "I'm concentrating on me and my future now. But we can still be friends and hang out. I just don't want any commitments."
"I understand," Sam said as he dipped her at the end of the dance and she giggled like a little girl.
Finn saw the dip and felt a sharp twinge in his heart.
On the last day of class for their junior year, Mr. Schue had asked Finn and Rachel to end the day with a duet before he dismissed them for the summer.
"Rachel, I'd like to talk to you," Finn said sheepishly when everyone else had left the choir room.
"Are you and Sam dating?" Finn asked her.
"No, I'm not dating anyone. Sam and I are just friends. We're the collateral damage that you and Quinn tossed aside. We've been helping each other get past the hurt."
"Rachel, I was wrong, dead wrong to get back with Quinn. I forgave her of so much when I wouldn't forgive you of so little. Singing with you today, I know where I want to be. I want to be with you," Finn said offering Rachel his hand.
"That's not going to happen," Rachel said coldly. "I've finally made peace with myself. If I let you back into my heart, you'll only leave me again for her. For you to have forgiven her after what she did to you, she must own a piece of you. A piece that I can never have. It has taken a lot for me to get over you, but I have."
"But Rachel," Finn said before she cut him off.
"Finn, you're like crack to a recovering addict. I can't be with you. I have discovered that I don't need to be the girlfriend of anyone to count. I don't need status by association the way Quinn does. I matter, and that's what I'm concentrating on. Not being half of any relationship."
"I'm not asking for a relationship, at least not yet. I'm just asking for you to trust me again. We can hang out together like we did last summer and start over from there," Finn almost begged.
"I can't. I'm leaving this weekend for six weeks at a drama camp in the Catskills Mountains of New York. I used to spend my summers there when I was younger, and this is the last summer that I can go before I age out. After that Dad and Daddy are taking me to the Caribbean before school and our senior year starts."
"I thought that you still cared for me when you sang your song at Regionals," Finn said almost ready to cry.
"I did, but you couldn't pry yourself from Quinn. She had to kick you to the curb at prom before your ever saw the light. Lucky for me, I saw the light before then," Rachel said as she pushed past him to clean out her locker.
Rachel spent the summer in the Catskills and then the Caribbean. She returned to Lima two days before the first day of her senior year.
Kurt was at her door almost as soon as she returned wanting to know about her summer. As the two friends reminisced, Rachel finally asked Kurt about Finn.
"Finn has worked all summer," Kurt said. "He has worked for Park and Rec during the week and for my dad on the weekends. He even picked up a few shifts at Sheets and Things."
"If you're asking if he has dated anyone, the answer is no. He has taken down your pictures and memorabilia and placed them in a box under his bed. There's one 8X10 picture left of the two of you on his nightstand. Do you think you two will ever be a couple again?" Kurt asked hopefully.
"No, I've finally gotten him out of my system. One more year here and I'll be gone. Did I tell you that I have applied at Juilliard and NYU?" Rachel asked changing the subject.
Kurt and Rachel chattered on and she showed him all the clothes that she had bought in the Caribbean and the songs she had written over the summer.
On the first day of their senior year, Finn and Rachel didn't see each other until Glee practice that afternoon. Rachel came in and immediately Mercedes and Tina wanted to know about her summer. Finn sat over to the side with Artie and Sam.
"How was your summer?" Finn finally asked her when practice was dismissed. "I've missed you."
"I've missed all of you too, but I had the best summer ever," Rachel said.
"Was it better than our summer last year?" Finn asked meekly.
"It was very productive. I've written six new songs complete with lyrics, harmonies, and full orchestration."
"I've put a lot of money in the bank this summer," Finn said. "I was going to use it to visit you when you go off to New York next year," Finn said.
"Save your money Finn. For the next five years I intend to focus solely on my future and my career. I'm not going to have time for anything else," Rachel said before she left him standing in the choir room again alone.
Finn's hopes and heart shattered at that moment. She really didn't need him. She had the next five years mapped out and it didn't include him.
"Wait," he called after her, "Do you really hate me that much?"
"Finn, I could never hate you, part of me will always love you. I just can't be with you. Quinn predicted that I would leave this town and you and she would stay here and start a family. She helped me to see that I was living in a fantasy of you and me. This time next year I'll be gone."
"I'm prepared to follow you to New York, if that's what you want," Finn suggested. "I can work odd jobs and be your biggest fan."
"And how long would you be happy living in New York doing menial labor? And where would you live? I can't ask you to do something that impetus. Besides Quinn will always have a piece of you that I will never have, and for me, it's all or nothing."
Their senior year moved forward at an alarming rate of speed. Finn's football team went undefeated and won the conference championship again. Rachel never attended a single game. The Glee club won Sectional and Regionals and were well on their way to their second Nationals championship. In the spring rumors began to float around that Finn and Quinn were once again seeing each other.
Kurt tried to get Rachel to intervene on behalf of his brother, but Rachel refused. "Finn is like a moth to the flame when it comes to Quinn," Rachel told Kurt.
When Finn told Rachel that he was seeing Quinn again, she told him that she was happy but worried for him. Quinn had humiliated him so badly twice before.
Rachel had been accepted at Juilliard and as soon as she graduated from McKinley she was gone. She saw no need to hang around Lima any longer and enrolled in Juilliard's summer program.
Near the end of June, Leroy and Hiram sent Rachel a clipping for the Lima Times Newspaper. During their graduation trip, Finn and Quinn had gone to Las Vegas and gotten married. "I'm sorry baby," Leroy wrote in his letter to her. "I just didn't want you to find out from anyone else."
Rachel carefully studied the clipping and the picture of the newlyweds. Quinn had a big smile plastered on her face. Finn had his classic deer in the headlights look on his. Tearing the picture from the newspaper in half, she threw Quinn's half in the trash and taped Finn's half to her refrigerator. She also called the Lima Times and set up a subscription to her home town newspaper that day. She could never be the other half of Finchel again, but she still worried about Finn. She likened Quinn to a black widow spider. In the end the females devour their mates.
Rachel's freshman year at Juilliard flew by. She excelled in all of her classes and participated in as many musical class productions as possible. Broadway producers who came by to see these class productions in search of new talent were beginning to notice her.
It was also during this time that she noticed two announcements in the Lima Times. Finn had been promoted to assistant manager at Burt's Tires and Lube, and Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson announced the birth of their twin sons, Ben and Ken.
Rachel had to laugh at the names. Finn, Quinn, Ben, and Ken. Those baby names had to be Quinn's ideas. Quinn always reasoned that she and Finn belonged together because their names rhymed.
Back in Lima, Finn was also reading the paper. Every time Rachel accomplished something even remotely important, Hiram and Leroy had to put it into the newspaper.
Rachel had not only made straight A's both freshman semesters at Juilliard she had secured a singing part in an off Broadway summer production of Wicked. Finn wanted to call and congratulate Rachel so much, but Quinn was having a hell of a time managing twins.
Later in the summer Kurt had to come over with playbills from Rachel's musical. Rachel had a small picture on the back. Finn marveled at how Rachel seemed to be growing more beautiful. He was developing a beer gut and Quinn looked worn out most of the time.
Rachel's sophomore year at Juilliard was just beginning when she was reading the latest edition of the Lima Times. A Lima real estate agency was taking on a new agent in training, Quinn Hudson.
By the end of her sophomore year Rachel's amazing voice was getting more attention both at Juilliard and among Broadway producers. Kurt had also posted Rachel's first performance of Get It Right at the 2011 Regionals on You Tube. The performance was an instant sensation.
Rachel was reading her mail one June morning following her sophomore year at Juilliard. The newest copy of the Lima Times fell out of her stack of bills and junk mail. She picked up her home town newspaper and began to read about home when she saw a picture of Burt and Finn. Burt was retiring from Burt's Tire and Lube and his step son Finn Hudson was taking over the business. Rachel knew that this was inevitable because Kurt's future was in fashion. He was a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York also known at FIT.
Scanning the social section of the Lima Times, Rachel also saw an announcement in the Births Section. Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson had a new baby girl that they had named Lynn.
That summer Rachel auditioned for a spot in the chorus of West Side Story on Broadway and got it. Before the summer was over, she was the understudy for the role of Maria. The Lima Times had a big story about the little home town girl who was making her dreams come true in the Big Apple.
Finn wanted to cut the story out of the paper and keep it, but if Quinn found it, there would be hell to pay.
Time went on. Finn and Quinn had one more baby girl. This one was named Jen. Rachel had to laugh hysterically when she read about the birth in the Lima Times. Finn, Quinn, Ben, Ken, Lynn, and Jen. She hoped that all of those crazy rhyming names were Quinn's idea and Finn had put up some resistance. Rachel couldn't think of another name that rhymed with Quinn and Finn. Maybe they were through having babies since they were out of rhyming names. Four babies in three years was a lot.
In the spring of 2016 Rachel graduated from Juilliard and Kurt graduated from FIT both with honors. Rachel attended Kurt's graduation but saw Finn and Quinn in the crowd along with their brood. Quinn was doing her best to outshine everyone else while Finn was doing his best to keep up with four kids that where three years of age and under.
Rachel's name was becoming widely known on Broadway. Instead of going for auditions, she had producers asking her to audition for them. A major record company had also approached her about possibly doing a CD.
Within a year Rachel had her first CD released. It was entitled Get It Right. Inside the jewel case was a dedication. To my first love. He pushed me from the nest and gave me the courage to spread my wings and fly. Everyone in Lima knew who her first love was, especially Quinn.
Time wore on and Rachel was actually turning down roles on Broadway. She had also put out her second CD. It was entitled All or Nothing. Her life had come full circle, but she was still alone. Her name had been linked with other Broadway stars, movie stars, politicians, and even Wall Street moguls.
One morning while reading the Lima Times from her Manhattan apartment an article caught her eye. The McKinley class of 2012 was having its ten year reunion. Soon an invitation to the reunion came in the mail.
Rachel had to go even if her agent and publicist thought that it was a bad idea. The paparazzi would be all over her.
Rachel was going to the reunion. There was no stopping her so her people went to great lengths to keep her visit to Lima out of the press.
Oh the day of the reunion she flew into Lima on a private jet and was quickly escorted to her father's old home unnoticed.
That night she could have easily worn a designer outfit and decked herself in diamonds, but she chose a simple black dress and a single strand of pearls.
She entered the reunion late so as to avoid as much attention as possible. The crowd was immediately hushed when she entered. Making her way around the room she greeted Artie, Tina, and Mercedes.
Mercedes hugged her and then whispered in her ear. "I think that there's someone over there that you really must speak to," pointing in Finn's direction.
Finn hadn't noticed her; Quinn was in his face about something.
Finn's hair was now salt and pepper. It actually made him look distinguished. Quinn's cheerleader figure was long gone. Four kids in three years can do that to you.
"Finn, do you remember me? It's Rach," she said as she stopped at his table.
Finn stood and was totally speechless. Rachel put her arms around him and gave him a big hug. He still wore the same cologne, but his middle was pudgier than she remembered.
"Rachel, I never dreamed that you would come. I've been following you in the newspapers for ten years. You've made your dreams come true. You're a star," Finn said finally able to return the hug.
Quinn was immediately incensed and grabbed Finn by the arm. "We would like to stay and catch up with you Rachel, but we have a baby sitter waiting for us at home. Shouldn't we be leaving now, darling?" Quinn asked Finn.
"No, you go on without me. Here are the keys to the mini van," Finn said to Quinn. "I want to stay here and catch up with Rachel.
"But Finn," Quinn argued. "I really need you to help me get our children to bed."
"For once do it yourself," Finn snapped at his wife. "I haven't seen Rachel in ten years. I need to talk to her."
"It's okay," Rachel said to Quinn. "I have a limo out front; my driver can drop Finn off at your house."
"Fine, but don't expect me to wait up for you, or to finish anything that she starts."
"Quinn, you don't need to be so crude," Finn whispered to his wife narrowing his eyes at her.
Quinn turned in a huff and was gone.
"I hope that I haven't gotten you into trouble with her," Rachel offered. "I would hate for her to yell at you over this."
"She yells at me everyday. It would be no different from any other day," Finn said with a note of sadness to his voice. "Why did you come?"
"I to see my old friends, Finn are you happy with how things turned out?" Rachel asked.
"I have four beautiful children. Two nine year olds boys, one eight year old girl, and one seven year old girl. Why wouldn't I be happy?" Finn asked.
"I know that any children that you and Quinn produced couldn't help but be beautiful. I asked if you're happy?" Rachel tried again.
"It's not about my happiness anymore. I have four kids to raise and educate. Burt isn't doing too well. Before you leave town, I know that he and Mom would love to see you."
"I'll make sure that I run by in the morning before I leave," Rachel smiled.
"Finn, I have to know, why did you run off a few days after graduation and marry Quinn?" Rachel asked.
"To get over you," Finn answered honestly. "It was a spur of the moment thing. I knew it was a mistake, but Quinn thought that having children so soon would fix our problems."
"No offence, but why do your children all have rhyming names?" Rachel asked.
"Those names were Quinn's idea, not mine. She thought that it would make us look like one big happy family to the world. I thought that the kids would make our marriage better too and they do. They make life with Quinn bearable," Finn answered.
"I've been following you in the newspapers and on television. You've been linked with a lot of important men, but you've never married. Why is that?" Finn asked.
"I'm married to my career," Rachel answered.
"You could've had me. I would've followed you to New York, but you wouldn't let me."
"Finn, there is no way that you would've been happy in New York just like I wouldn't have been happy here. We would've made each other miserable and ended up hating each other. Quinn also owned a piece of you that I could never have." Rachel sighed. "Quinn predicted this future the day she made me angry enough to write my first song."
"I could never hate you Rachel." Finn said rubbing the back of her hand. "I want you know that you still own a piece of me that Quinn will never have."
"Come on let's get you home," Rachel said standing up from the table. "I don't want to get you in trouble with Quinn."
"I'm already in trouble with Quinn, but it's worth it just to see you again." Finn smiled down at the petite brunette.
Finn helped Rachel into the back of the limo and then gave the driver directions to his house.
Pulling up in front of Quinn and Finn's home, Rachel couldn't help but notice that the front lawn was covered with an assortment of bikes and athletic equipment.
"It looks like you have a full life," Rachel observed.
"My kids are my life," Finn concurred.
The porch light came on and Finn took it as his cue to exit Rachel's limo.
Rachel watched as Finn walked up the sidewalk to his home and to his life. The limo driver backed into the street to return her to her life.
Several days later Rachel was back in New York reading the latest edition of the Lima Times. The reunion had made the news in the Society section, but there was no mention of her visit to Lima. She had made it in and out under the radar of the paparazzi.
Several pages over was the Real Estate section. There was a picture of Quinn beside the listings for several homes that were for sale. Flipping on further through the paper was a picture of Finn inviting everyone to come on down to Finn's Tire World.
Closing the Lima Times Newspaper for the last time she called the newspaper and cancelled her ten year subscription. Her place was in New York. The ghosts of McKinley were behind her.
The End - I am sorry that this isn't a Finchel end game story, but I wanted to see if Quinn's prediction about their future came true. If you need a happily ever after Finchel, my stories Closing the Door and the sequel Rising Seniors (in progress) are very Finchel. Thank you for the indulgence. Whistler Nights.