Batman vs Superman is gonna be awesome and I don't own it
"You want to do what?" Batman asked his 15 year old partner and adopted son. The same partner who had exhibited maturity well beyond his years, had discovered his and Dick's secret identities and managed to balance out being a teen superhero with his everyday life. Tim merely grinned up at him.
"C'mon Batman it's just a little prank. It'll be fun!" Batman raised an eyebrow and Tim made a show of rolling his eyes under his domino mask as he leaned forward to address his mentor conspiratorially. Batman admitted to being a bit wary. Tim was very persuasive when he wanted to be, case in point getting his mentor to change his mind about having a partner at all. But he was the Batman and he would not let a child's whims get the better of him.
"You know, you're such a stiff all the time no one will ever think it's you. You can get out this scot free and maybe someone more deserving of punishment will get the blame. Maybe perhaps some showboating Lantern who nearly ruined last Mondays' mission with his stunts?" Tim's grin became quite devious and, against, his better judgement Batman found himself smiling back. "Now wouldn't that be nice?" Yes, very persuasive indeed.
XxX
"Hey Bats what are you up to?" The Flash asked stopping long enough to note that Batman standing alone in the middle of the watchtower hallway was a little bit strange, even for a man dressed as a bat. He glared at the speedster.
"Robin went to get something, I told him I would wait for him here." The Flash shrugged, already dismissing the incident.
"Right, say hi to the kid for me, bye!" and with that he was gone leaving Robin just enough time to crawl out of the ventilation Batman had been covering up.
"Close one huh? Good thing an observant hero didn't come along right?" Robin said cheekily as he finished screwing on the vent cover. Though Bruce cared for all of his children and side-kicks, he often found that Timothy truly took after his own heart.
"Agreed, we must take care to avoid Manhunter and Wonder Woman."
XxX
"Yo what's wrong with the watchtower now? Anything I can do to help?" Batman frowned at the sound of Green Lantern Hal Jordan coming up behind him. He glanced over at Robin who looked up at the sudden entrance before going back to his welding as if nothing were wrong. "Hey B, are you sure you should be letting the 9 year old play with the fire? I could show him how it's done if you want." Lantern said leaning close, still looking for a way to off of Batman's 'Idiots I want to kill' list. Robin huffed in indignation but kept up his work to ensure he didn't mess up.
"First of all, he's fifteen and secondly he rerouted the Justice League computers the other day so welding is perfectly within his capabilities. In fact, you are putting him in more danger sitting here distracting him. If something were to happen to him due to your negligence…" Terror flashed in the space cop's eyes as he slowly backed away from the two bats.
"Right um sure," Lantern chuckled nervously. "It looks like you two have everything in hand. Thank you for all your help, um America is thankful for your contribution." He said quickly before scooting out of the room. Robin paused in his work and lifted the welding mask to give his mentor a rakish grin.
"Nice bluff there." Batman blinked impassively.
"I meant every word I said." Robin cooed mockingly as he pulled the mask down again.
"You're so cute when you exhibit actual, human emotion."
XxX
"Do I even want to know?" Black Canary asked as she passed Robin in the hall dragging a large bag at least twice his size behind him. Just pulling it took all of his efforts. He paused in his huffing for a moment to shoot the woman an innocent expression she didn't believe for one moment. She held up her hand to stall any excuses he was about to give.
"Don't bother, I remember when both of your brothers were Robin plus Roy lived with us for a good while. Just tell me what places I need to avoid and for how long." Robin smiled.
"I don't know what you're talking about but it gets awfully drafty in the main meeting room this time of year. You know how Mr. Jordan gets when there's not a lot to do." She gave him an approving look.
"Blaming Jordon huh? I'll back you up, he's hit on me one too many times. Now if I were you, I'd hit the back hallways. I think the Boy Scout will be down this way any minute." Robin nodded and held out his fist.
"Thanks Canary, I owe you." She reciprocated his fist bump.
"No problem, us birds have to stick together. Be sure to remember that next time you're feeling mischievous."
XxX
The Justice League Watchtower, home to the greatest heroes the world has ever known, was in utter chaos. During the usual weekly meeting of the founding members out of nowhere came buckets of whipped cream followed by bright green sprinkles. Everything and everyone in the room was entirely coated in the sticky sweet treat. While Martian Manhunter simply phased out of the concoction, the Hawkpeople were cursing as they stretched their matted feathers and Wonder Woman cursing as he got cream in some rather uncomfortable places. The Flash made to go get a mop or something when he slipped on the dangerously slippery floor and crashed headfirst into the wall causing his Lantern friend to burst out laughing. The entire room turned to glare at him. At that moment, Batman and Robin opened the door and gazed at the wreckage. Robin had come in a few minutes before to borrow the Dark Knight for some homework help, thus ensuring his mentor's suit was still dark and menacing. Robin whistled slowly.
"Wow that's a lot of green, I think you went a little overboard this time Lantern." And at that moment Hal Jordan knew he was being completely and utterly played. He held up his hands.
"It wasn't me! I didn't do this! Honest! Why the heck would I go to all this trouble to do this to myself?" He pointed at the dynamic duo. "It was probably them, I caught them welding in here earlier! They're just trying to pin this on me!" Superman grabbed the Lantern's arm and gave him a disbelieving look.
"Look you got us, okay? At least be a grown-up and admit it."
"And besides," the Flash added as he regained his balance. "You're blaming Batman for a prank? Seriously? His idea of a prank is misfiling paperwork." As the Gotham natives listened to the rest of the room back up Barry's claim, Batman brought up an arm to pat his boy's shoulder. With how busy they were with crimefighting, it was good that they were spending some quality time together.
So with the trailer for BvS spreading like wildfire and DC coming out of the grave and cackling into the abyss, I thought I'd post my first Batman story. It's fun and silly and nothing really special but I hope you get a laugh out of it. I'll be typing some more stuff in the future! Batman forever!