Ll pWriters Note

Ok guys, this story was a writing challenge that my friend gave me when we were mucking around as usual.

"I dare you to write a fanfiction about... Yu-Gi-Oh!, and it must include depressing pies. Oh, and explosions."

O0

Well here it goes. One shot. Warning, contains complete randomness XD

Dedicated to Claire, the challenger and the person who came up with the main idea.

I'll get you back for this :P

And I don't own Yugioh. Duh.

I sat on the table, tempting, but very reluctantly so. Although a delicious smell of blueberries and pastry was wafting from me, enticing everyone around to get a taste of me, I did not want this at all. I was quite happy sitting on this table, and had no plans of being chomped and chewed on. So I lay very still, very quietly...

Someone walked into the room. A man with tri coloured hair and golden bangs, his slightly tanned hands on his hips where two studded belts were wrapped around his tight black jeans, a strange necklace in a shape of a pyramid was wresting against his chest. His piercing purple eyes searched the room... Suddenly, they came to rest upon me. His eyes widened and he hurried towards me.

"Is that... a pie?" he asked curiously. His hand reached out towards me and he picked me up. My warmth flowed into him, and I heard him licking his lips.

"Hey, Yami!" yelled a voice from outside. The man holding me wheeled around, his eyebrows narrowed.

Another man burst into the room, a man with even crazier hair than the one named Yami that was dull in colour. A purple cape hung about his shoulders, and his face bore a smug smile.

"That's mine," he said, reaching out towards me.

"Oh," said Yami. "Did you bake it Marik?"

"Er... yeah, sure I did, now hand it over!"

"No," said Yami, swinging the pie out of Marik's reach. "I believe I found it first Marik. Besides, you didn't say the magic word." He grinned.

The man scowled, his tanned face wrinkling up. "Look, just give it? I don't want to force it off you." I shuddered. Something about this man was sort of frightening...

Yami wagged a finger. "Now why are you being like that? We could just share!" I heard a chuckle from the other man.

"What is this word, share, you speak of? I do not comprehend."

Yami sighed. "Look, it's mine. If you don't want some, that's fine with me."

Marik's cold eyes narrowed. He started walking towards us, holding a strange rod with the same symbol Yami's puzzle had on it.

"Hey, no need to get violent," said Yami quickly, taking a step back.

"Of course there's a need to get violent, it's a pie," said Marik menacingly.

Suddenly the door of the room hit the wall with a bang.

"Hey guys!" a cheerful voice called out.

"Yugi!" Yami exclaimed. "Little help here?" His hands gripped my pie dish tightly, as a boy that looked just like him entered the room.

Yugi's eyes widened at the strange sight before him. Marik had backed Yami against a wall, holding the Millenium Rod to his throat, while he was steadily clutching me against his chest.

"Um guys?" said Yugi weakly. "What are you doing?"

"Stay out of this Yugi, this is between me, your beloved pharaoh, and this pie."

"Did you say, pie?" asked Yugi curiously. "I thought something smelt good!" I flinched at this. Not another person...

Marik glared at Yugi. "Don't get any funny ideas!"

Yugi glared back at him. "Well, I might have to, as you're about to attack Yami, for a PIE!"

Marik mumbled something under his breath, and backed off. I felt Yami relax.

"Now, why don't you just settle this the old fashioned way?" said Yugi sensibly. "Why don't you just duel for it?"

I heard Yami slapping himself in the forehead.

"What would you do without me?" Yugi joked.

Suddenly the door flew open again, and this time a tall man with cold blue eyes and a swishy white coat burst in.

"Just like to let you know, all duel disks are not functional at this moment. There all being up... hey, is that a pie?" Kaiba asked.

Yami sighed. "Yes, it's a pie..."

"Well, are you going to share it with us or what?" asked Kaiba, crossing his arms and staring down at Yami.

"Well, maybe if Marik here wasn't so determined to have it all to himself, I would!" said Yami, glaring at Marik.

"Look, it's my pie ok?" said Marik. I heard a groan from Yugi. "You know we could just bake another pie..." he suggested. My heart leapt at this.

"No way! And let Marik have the pie I FOUND. I don't think so!" growled Yami.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Geez, you guys are so childish. And I'm really hungry! Please just divide up the pie! Or I'll kick you out of here."

"Well if you kicked us out of Kaiba Corp, you wouldn't get your pie would you?" Yami said.

"Cause it'll be leaving in my stomach!" added Marik, who received a frown from Yami.

"Shut up!" yelled Kaiba.

"So, how are we going to settle this then? Looks like only one of us will get the pie..." Yugi said, scratching his head.

Yet again I heard the door bounce against the wall.

"Do you mind? I do own that door," scowled Kaiba.

"Hey, hey, relax Kaiba!" said a flustered blonde boy. "Why are you all in here anyway?"

"Hey Joey!" said Yugi.

"Hey guys, um, what's going on in here?" asked Joey suspiciously.

Yugi gestured towards me. I silently grumbled.

"Heyyy a pie!" said Joey. "Can I have some?"

Everyone groaned.

"What?" asked Joey innocently. "Who baked it anyway?"

Everyone fell silent as Joey searched the room questionally.

"Uh... I just sorta found it..." said Yami.

"You mean, I DID," Marik replied.

"Sorry to interrupt," a polite voice came from the doorway. "But I've come to collect the pie I baked? I left it here to cool."

"It's... your pie Ryou?" asked Yami, sounding disappointed.

"Um, yes, I baked it myself..."

"Like you could bake anything!" growled Marik. "That's it! I've had enough!!!" Marik lunged at Yami, attempting to grab the pie off him. Yami swung the pie behind him, but Marik's sudden attack caused him to fall back and hit the wall with a crunch.

"Marik! Do you mind!" shouted Kaiba. "If you make a mess you are going to clean it up!!"

Yami fell the the floor with a thud, out cold.

"Hey, now look what you've done!" yelled Joey, as Yugi rushed towards Yami.

Marik picked me up from the ground, I somehow survived my fall. His cold hands grasped my pie dish.

"Well, now that I have my pie, I'll be seeing you later," Marik grinned evilly.

"I don't think so," a quiet voice sounded from the hallway.

"Thank you Bakura! Please, get my pie back from Marik," sighed Ryou.

A man entered the room, his eyes flashing. "Hand it over."

Now I just couldn't take it anymore!

"Right that's it!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Everyone froze, staring at me. Marik dropped me immediately, like I'd burnt him. Yami, who was regaining himself, was out cold again.

"You are all IMBOSELS. I've had it!" I hopped across floor and jumped back onto the table, and towards the window.

"My... pie?" whispered Ryou.

"Goodbye!" I shrieked, and leapt out into the blue.

There was a big bang, and an explosion, and the smell of burnt pie mixed with blueberries wafted through the window. Everyone was silent for what seemed a very long time.

"Well that was weird," said Yugi feebly.

"Totally," agreed Marik.

"What the HELL DID YOU PUT IN THAT PIE?!" shouted Joey.

"Um, just a little experiment to see if holographic pies could be eaten," said Ryou nervously.

Everyone stared.

"And I guess it went wrong..."

"You mean, it wasn't a real pie all along...?" asked Marik.

"What a... waste of me being knocked out," groaned Yami, opening his eyes.

"Hello, this is KaibaCorp..." said Kaiba. "I should have known..."