Greetings and welcome to my very first 2-parts angst story, hope you enjoy this story. Review if you like it or criticize it, and as always thanks for taking your time reading this amateur piece of literature.
Disclaimer: I will only say this once in the entire fanfic,
I do not own any intellectual property mentioned in this fanfiction, any rights to distribute the content in this fanfiction belong to LEVEL-5®
Chapter 1 | Unrequited, yet fulfilling.
Love, what is it exactly?
Is it a sweet emotion of harmony, happiness, and trust combined into a mutual affection confining the subject to a lifetime torturing feeling of falling in love? Or is it just an absurd illusion created by our minds to follow our animal instinct to reproduce and pass our genes? Human's voice of reason can't describe it either…
Then, what is unrequited love?
Society viewed it as noble, an unselfish and stoic willingness to accept suffering. If unrequited love is a willingness to accept a one-sided suffering, shouldn't mutual love be classified as a two-sided suffering itself? I've experienced both mutual love and unrequited love, the answer should be simple: Love is simply a suffering.
It was only a year after we graduate, I was young and foolish. I fell in love with a carefree spirited idiot, a soccer maniac who in every physical aspect shouldn't be classified as attractive. Yet he manages to make 3 young damsels fall in love, only with a quality which can never be seen in another man. His caring persona attracts not only ally, but enemies alike.
I was planning on confessing during the reunion party, but the results are…uncanny
This is it, the beginning of the end, the alpha of omega. I must confess my feelings to him no matter what; it's been locked out for far too long. 3 years is enough to make me feel at discomfort thinking about him all days, and nights, I can't imagine what state of mind I'll reach if I wait for another year to reveal my feelings.
"C'mon we're going to be late!" yelled a best friend of mine, her name's Natsumi.
She came to the club with a cruel intention, to destroy the newly discovered glimmering hope and dreams of ours; the Raimon Soccer Club. But after a while she sees a potential in our good willed honest intention, and even manages to become a permanent member of the club, obviously not as a player, but a manager. She might be horrible at housework (which none of us never dared to show for the sake of our own well-being), and she absolutely despised getting her hands dirty, but she's a kind and shy girl inside of the cold façade she showed to people for years.
"I'm coming!" I replied, panicked at the sight of the clock. We're late!
At the sight of Natsumi, I was awestricken by her heavenly beautiful appearance. She's wearing black with crimson accents long dress for this special evening, her neck is decorated by a golden rose necklace complete with the thorns, all in all her choice of styling seems fitting for her regal personality. A perfect example of what would've been a real life princess.
"You look so beautiful!"
I blushed by her modest harmless compliment. Unlike Natsumi, I'm wearing a total opposite of her style of dressing. I'm wearing a white short dress with a hint of cyan decorating the edges of my dress; a simple yet elegant silver necklace decorated my neck, a bright blue shining diamond reside at the center of the necklace. My looks may not be the most attractive at the party considering Natsumi's appearance, but a compliment from the same Natsumi I've known for 3 years is an astounding feat.
"Thanks! You look quite dashing as well." Judging by her now blushing face, she seems weak to the compliment I've delivered.
"N-Now's not the time for compliments, we've got to hurry!" she said staggeringly, still fazed by my compliment.
After we arrived at the reunion party, I looked around, searching for him and ignoring every other insignificant people other than him. After finding him, I was quickly under the effect of a nervous breakdown. His sweet compliments didn't help the already velvet faced me either.
He's wearing what simply could've been described as a tuxedo. But unlike a normally black piece of suit & tie, his unusual white set of suit manages to put him into a more mature demeanor. A black shirt underneath his formal waistcoat and a black tie with carbon fiber texture compliments the unusual set of suit nicely. My heart flutters madly at an instant after I find the bewildering attractive sight of him.
"Are you ok? You seem sick." said Endou worryingly, after checking my face he placed a hand on my forehead. The result is an even redder faced me.
"I'm fine, thanks for your concern."
"Don't mention it! After all that's what friends do." Although what he said was well intended, I was disappointed by him calling me a "friend". After all, what I wanted from him is more than that.
Before I could reply to him, a slow music suddenly replaced the formerly upbeat background music.
"C-Care to dance?" I asked, nervously staggering under my breath. Unsure of what his reac-
"Sure!" I was surprised by his quick reply, which in return snapped me put of my train of thoughts. "Although I don't know how to dance… But I'll manage!"
As we start dancing, I instructed his gentle yet strong hands to my shoulder and waist. Both of us seem fluttered upon contact with our skins. Slowly we started to dance and before we knew it, we tried advanced dancing maneuver which neither of us have ever tried in our life. As the music ends, we were flustered and out of breath.
"Endou-san… I-"
"Endou-san, can we talk… privately?" interrupted Natsumi.
"Sorry Aki-chan, can we talk later?"
"S-Sure!" I answered, still staggered by my failed attempt at confession.
An hour have passed after both of them went to the park outside to discuss something privately, worriedly I went to check their condition. And you'll probably know what kind of sight left me crying all night after that. A sight that only appears in an over clichéd soap operas and Korean dramas, two lovers kissing under the dimmed lighted full moon. I can feel tears forming in my eyes… Why did this have to happen?
Both of them were kissing… Passionately.
I quickly ran away from the horrifying yet romantic scene, leaving them to their own moments.
I hate them with all my heart, yet I can't feel any demise for them.
I wished for their demise, yet I can't hate them for what they did.
I want them to find true happiness, yet I want them to suffer.
I feel happy for them, yet I alone suffer from them.
Is this how my first love will end?
Shattered and broken to pieces after longing 3 years, just to find myself as a hindrance to their mutual love?
No, I'm a good friend to both of them, and I always will, I won't let a personal vendetta inflict harm to our prized friendship. So I will endure it, no matter what happens.
9 years later here I am, at their holy ceremony. A ceremony which unite their undying love. I've accepted reality, I've accepted facts, I've accepted their relationship, and I've accepted their invitation.
Natsumi, my best friend is currently looking flustered by her current situation. She's wearing a beautiful long white gown, perfect for the event at hand. A white transparent veil covered her flushed face, yet fails to cover the owner's flustered nature. Although slightly jealous of her feat, she's still beautiful as ever.
Endou, my former crush is currently looking determined and at his current situation. He's wearing a bigger version of his white tuxedo, the only differences is the replaced black tie and shirt, making his all-white appearance fitting nicely with his bride's. Although slightly bitter of his feat, he's still charming as ever.
Yet why do I feel a tear building up?
No, not the usual happiness tears at a happy wedding.
It was the same tears that happened 9 years ago, haunting me to this day.
Is it because the sour feeling of jealousy? Or is it the bitter feeling of loneliness?
However the tears are mixed up with a new kind of tears, happiness tears.
I will never tell him how I fell for him.
He will never know my feelings for him.
Yet oddly, I feel satisfied.
Fullfiled that I've tried and failed.
At least I know that I've tried.
"…you may now kiss the bride"
It happened again, a sight that only appears in an over clichéd soap operas and Korean dramas. Two lovers kissing under the brightly lighted sun. I can feel tears forming in my eyes… Why did this have to happen?
Both of them are kissing… Passionately.
I'm sorry if you didn't notice the angst tag…
Anyway that's all folks; chapter 2 is coming this week since I've recently bought a rare mechanical Dvorak keyboard which will help my timing tremendously. Also for writers on hiatus suffering from the uncanny writer's block; I recommend a dose of listening to Meine Meinung for inspiration without the risk of plagiarism.
