Title: Feel my hand.
It had been quite some time since Cristina had moved to her new house in Zurich, so she was almost completely comfortable sleeping in her new bed. She was having one of those nights were she couldn't stop dreaming. It was on of her recurring dreams in which she was Wonder Woman; she was so close to saving the world once again, when her phone rang. As soon as she managed to take a good look at the name flashing on it, *damn screen, always too bright!*, she answered as quickly as she could.
"Mer? It's 3 in the morning over here. Can it w…"
"Cristina!?"
"Alex?" she was suddenly wide awake, "Why are you calling me from Mer's phone? Is she okay?"
"She… isn't. I mean, she isn't physically hurt."
"What happened?" Cristina was losing her patience; it wasn't normal for Alex to not get to the point right away.
"Derek. He was in an accident. He didn't make it."
As soon as Cristina registered what Alex had just told her, she hung up the phone on him.
Without even thinking, because there wasn't time to think right now, she got her passport out of her nightstand, got dressed, and she was out of the house in record time.
She got in her new red Citroen Pluriel, and drove toward the airport.
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
Twenty minutes later she had already left her car at one of the airport's parking lots, and was walking toward the Swiss International Air Lines counter to buy her ticket.
"Hello. How can I help you?" the clerk greeted her warmly.
"Yes. Hi. I'd like to buy a ticket on the next flight to Seattle."
"We have one at 12:20 pm."
"Is it the earliest one you have?" she couldn't sit here for 9 hours, while she could be spending that time on an airplane.
"We have one at 6:50. But…"
"I'll take it!"
"But ma'am, it's going to be half the price if you wait for the afternoon flight."
Cristina was losing her patience once again, "I can't wait, okay? My… my brother in law just died." it wasn't a complete lie, after all she always considered Mer the sister she never had.
"I am so sorry." the clerk was mortified "I'll just need your passport and a credit card."
Cristina already holding those two things in her hand, passed them to her.
"Any luggages to check in?"
"No! It was all last minute…"
"Right! Sorry."
Cristina had thought getting on a flight to Seattle without a luggage was going to be suspicious, but she didn't have time to stop for anything. She didn't have time to stop and think. Her only focus was to get to Mer as soon as she could.
"Here you go! Boarding time is in half an hour. Enjoy you… er… thank you for choosing our airline."
"Thanks."
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
When this horrible conversation was finally over, she walked to the boarding room and finally sat down.
She picked her cellphone out of her purse, and noticed she had several text messages from Alex asking where she was, or why she wasn't answering her phone.
She dialed his number and got an immediate answer.
"Cristina? Why weren't you answering?"
"I'm at the airport, I just bought a ticket. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Oh! Right… good!"
"I'll call you when I get there." she said and hung up the phone on Alex once again. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. She knew Alex was just trying to help, but… she didn't want to think too much.
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
The long plane ride to Seattle felt even longer than it already is. She tried to sleep most of the time, but she kept having the same nightmare. She kept dreaming that it was Mer the one in the accident. That Alex had only said it was Derek, so she wouldn't be that worried. Of course now she was worried too, but if it was Meredith the one in the accident… she couldn't even bring herself to finish that thought.
Good think the flight attendants didn't bother her that much. She wondered if it was the combination of her usual mean looking face, and the tension she felt emanating from every single nerve in her body, that made them cautious with her. Or if the clerk at the airport made a special note near her name when she checked her in. Either way, she was glad she wasn't being disturbed as much.
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
As soon as she was over with all the usual procedures at Seattle Airport, she turned on her phone and called Alex.
"Hello?"
"Alex. I just got at the Airport. Is Mer with you?"
"I'm at the hospital now. She is at the house in the woods."
"Okay, thank you! I'll see you later."
She took a deep breath and walked outside to find a car to take her to Mer's.
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
It had been so long since the last time she was there. She was standing outside Mer's dream house. The house Derek had built just for her. She wasn't sure how Mer was able to be in there right now.
She took another deep breath, took her keys - she still had a copy - and opened the door.
Despite all the windows, the house looked really dark.
There was only a dim light coming from the main bedroom, where she found Mer sitting on the bed, staring at something in her hands.
"Mer?"
"Cristina?!" Mer said with an incredulous tone of voice
"Yes!" Cristina answered while approaching the bed. "I came as soon as I heard."
She sat on the bed next to her.
Mer went back to staring at the object in her hands. It was the post-it with hers and Derek's vows. The glass was all broken.
"Mer?" she said once again, and touched her lightly on the shoulder.
Mer almost jumped at the touch. "Are you… Are you really here?" for a moment she thought she was hallucinating.
"Yes, I am."
Mer turned around and stared into Cristina's eyes. "He… he left me." a tear rolling down her cheek. She didn't think she had any tears left in her, but just the sight of Cristina… Cristina being back from Zurich just for that, made everything real in her mind.
"Oh, Mer!" she squeezed her hand on her person's shoulder, "He didn't leave you. You know that."
"I know. It just feels like that."
"I know." Cristina was going to give her some made up speech about loosing someone you love, but this was Meredith Grey. She had been through more horrible things in her life so far than anyone would probably have to go through in their entire life.
"Hey, look at me!" Cristina ordered her since Mer had gone back to staring at the frame.
"Now you are going to give me this." she tried to get the frame out of her hands, but Mer wouldn't let it go.
"But… it's all broken."
"I'll get it fixed. I promise. Now give it to me."
"Okay." Mer passed the post-it to Cristina, who put it on the nightstand next to her.
"Now we are going to get you into the shower, and…"
"Cristina?" Mer sounded desperate.
"Yes?"
"I can't move. I can't feel anything."
Cristina looked at her for a moment, then she took Mer's hand, "Take my hand." she squeezed it harder than she needed to, "Feel my hand."
Another tear rolled down Mer's face. Cristina's eyes were also starting to fill with tears.
"Do you feel that?" she asked.
Mer nodded lightly.
"We are going to go when you are ready. So, you tell me when you are ready. Okay?"
"Okay."