"Hey Kendaaaaaaaaalllll? I'm home!" shouted James from outside the apartment door.
"I know that, you dumbass. You were ringing the doorbell just about 2000 times. You're drunk, you idiot. Just hurry up, get undressed, and go to bed. I'm taking a shower." said Kendall after he let James into the apartment.
"Okay. But first, can you help me? I can't get this damn shoe ooooooff!" James complained.
"Moron."
Right after Kendall slammed the door behind himself, he hopped into the shower, turning the heat all the way up.
This is all his fault. As a college student, James shouldn't be working as a host member. But when he goes, and he stays late, I get to sleep in without him. It's what I was doing before he so rudely started ringing the doorbell and waking me up. It's his fault that I love him. And I probably shouldn't, considering how much of an idiot he is. He made me miss my nap, too. All his fault.
Kendall hopped out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed. He walked out of the bathroom, only to see a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom. Kendall growled, completely ready to confront that fool.
"Get your ass outta this bed, you dipshit! What's wrong with you?! When I said 'get undressed,' I didn't mean to leave your clothes everywhere!" Kendall started angrily gathering the clothes his boyfriend left everywhere. "And at least take your shirt off or something!"
"Mmm, Kendall, come here. I miiiiiissed you. You're so warm...and preeeeeetty...!" James giggled. He grabbed Kendall by the waist and pulled him flush against his body.
"Get off me, idiot." Kendall said before pushing his palm against James' drunk, blushing face and pushing. It didn't deter James in the slightest.
"Ugh, James, come on. Stop." Kendall shoved James a little, causing something to drop to the floor.
James' arms wrapped around Kendall's waist again. "What was that?" asked Kendall as he pushed James again in order to reach out to it and grab whatever it was.
It was a box of matches. They apparently came from Palace Hotel.
By the time Kendall figured out what the box was and where it was from, James was kissing along Kendall's throat, trying to get into Kendall's shirt. Kendall tried taking off James' shirt so he wouldn't be as hot in the bed, but as soon as he popped some of the buttons, Kendall saw lipstick on James' chest. In the form of lips.
"James..." Kendall started wearily, "What are these? I mean, I know they're matches, but why do you have them? And what's with that lipstick on your chest? Where were you?"
"I was at a looooove hotel! I'll take you next time." stated James.
Kendall slapped James and stormed out of the room. And he just admitted it so easily! I should have known. Thought Kendall. He slammed the bedroom door behind him and pressed his back up against it.
RING!
The phone started ringing loudly, so Kendall went over to it and picked it up.
"Yes?" he answered
"Hi there! Is James in? Tell him it's Jen calling. He'll know who I am!" came a drunk sounding, chirpy woman's voice. The woman just kept chattering as Kendall thought. The lipstick, the matches, this crazy ass woman...James cheated on me!
I hung up the phone on the lady after telling her she had the wrong number and sunk down to the floor. "Kendaaaaall? Was that phone call for me?" asked James as he came out of the bedroom.
"Yes. Some girl named Jen says that you know her." Kendall said icily.
"Huh? Jen? I don't know anyone named Jen..." James said, clueless.
"It seemed like you two knew each other pretty well. Whatever." Kendall went to his closet and started getting dressed.
"Kenny...why are you getting dressed? Are you going somewhere? Can I come?"
"No."
"Oh! I remember! Jennifer is the one that I was at the love hotel with!" James remembered.
Kendall took one last look at James before punching him as hard as he could.
-o.O.o-
I never thought that he would do something like this, Kendall thought while sitting in the city's park, underneath a large oak tree.
He watched as the leaves fell. He looked as a group of joggers ran past him. It triggered memories.
-o.O.o-
"Yah! Kyah! Ugh!" Kendall grunted as he was hit multiple times by his sparring partner for boxing.
"Come on, Kendall! You can do better than that! Come at me!" growled James, Kendall's sparring partner.
Both boys were about 17, and unsure about their sexuality. So they decided to test their theories.
"Hey, James? I'm worn out. Can we stop?" Kendall asked.
"Yeah, sure. If you want."
Both teenage boys took off their gear and laid down in the middle of the floor. It was past closing time, so no one was there (or knew they were there).
They both just lay there for a while, catching their breath. After a while, James rolled on his side to look at the blonde. Green eyes stared into hazel ones. "Kendall?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever...kissed anyone?"
Kendall sputtered, then scoffed. "Why would I need to tell you?"
"Come on dude. If you haven't..." James leaned in closer, inches away from Kendall's lips, "Then can I be your first?"
"W-what?"
James leaned forward the rest of the way, attaching his lips to Kendall's own.
Kendall's eyes widened in shock. James' lips moved against his, finding their own rhythm, but not once did James push Kendall further than he was willing to go.
Kendall slowly pulled away from James, whose eyes had just reopened.
"So...how was it?" James asked with a smirk.
"Don't ask stupid questions, dumbass."
"I just stole your first kiss..."
-o.O.o-
Kendall touched his lips as he felt the flashback wandering deeper and deeper into his mind, back into his subconsciousness.
-o.O.o-
"Shit! That punch sobered me up. Damn. I wasn't expecting that. Did he break any teeth?" James looked in the mirror, trying to see any damage that Kendall's punch might have caused (he did used to be a boxer). He started getting closer to the mirror to inspect his teeth, but something on his chest caught his eye. "Is that...lipstick?" he mumbled. "Fuck...Kendall must have misunderstood! He probably thinks I'm cheating now!"
James started taking deep breaths. "Okay...calm down...I need to go call all the places that he's likely to be!"
He ran out to where Kendall had dumped his clothes earlier and started sifting though the contents of his pockets. "Where...where is it? Ugh, did I drop it at the love hotel? No...whatever. I guess I'll just go out and search the places one by one!" He walked out of the apartment complex in search of a certain blonde, green eyed beauty.
James was determined to find his lover. He wasn't going to lose him.
-o.O.o-
Kendall left the park and walked to a nearby coffee shop. He ordered a Chai Latte and waited for it to be prepared and his name to be called.
Once he got his coffee, he went over to the window and sat down. That guy. That...guy...that's right. He is a guy. It's only natural for him to want girls.
James...if he's interested in girls, it doesn't even matter what I think anymore. There's no way a guy like me can compete with any of that.
-o.O.o-
"Kendall? No, he hasn't been here." one of Kendall's relatives spoke.
"Gah. I thought he'd go home. I guess not, though. Call me if you hear from him, okay?"
The man nodded and James started to walk away before turning around and addressing the man again.
"Oh, and 'Cos? Tell the old man I said hello!"
"Call him Mr. Knight, you idiot! Show some respect."
James laughed and walked away, sighing. "If he didn't go home...then where could he be?" he mumbled to himself.
"Kendall? No, Captain hasn't been here lately." said another one of James' dead ends.
"Oh, is he okay? What's wrong?" asked the team player's girlfriend. "What happened?"
"Oh, nothing! He's fine. I'll get going now..."
"I'll call you if he shows up." the guy said to James.
"Okay!" yelled James before running off.
-o.O.o-
Crap! I've looked everywhere I can think of and I still can't find Kendall. James fumed.
"Dude, go talk to her!" James heard a distant voice.
"Yeah, man! Come on." He looked up and saw a group of male high school students looking at a high school girl a good distance away.
One short thing stood in the middle of the boys. He shook his head nervously.
"Come on, dude! You like her, don't you?" James heard another one of the boys say.
Like, huh? He thought before having a flashback.
-o.O.o-
"Why don't you come to the dojo anymore?" Kendall questioned James as he cornered him and shoved him against a wall in the hallway of an empty school. "Why are you avoiding me?" he asked as he closed his eyes and hung his head.
"It's not just sparring and MMA anymore. Even when we're talking, especially like this," Kendall gestured between them, "You always find a way to look somewhere else, anywhere else, other than at me. You're just pretending to be my friend, aren't you?" Kendall tightened his grip on James' shoulder and pushed his forehead into James' chest. "If you're mad at me, just go ahead and fucking tell me!" Kendall yelled, holding back tears.
"No..." James whispered.
"I'm not sure what to do. I can't say what I feel." Kendall went on. "I have no way of showing other people that I care. But you're the one person...that I...that I..."
James gasped and struggled underneath Kendall's touch. The smell of his skin, the sound of his voice. My heart is racing. He thought, panicking.
"I don't want you to hate me." Kendall whined, clutching onto James tighter.
James whimpered and clenched his fists, forcing himself to keep them still. I just want to hold him so bad! He debated with himself internally. But...
James shakily moved his hands to Kendall's shoulders and slowly pried him off of his body. "Tomorrow," James started, "Let's talk about all of this tomorrow."
Kendall nodded and stood back, completely letting go of James. "I'm sorry. I understand."
Ugh, I didn't mean it like that. I don't like that disheartened look on his face. James looked off to the side and frowned. Oh man, I feel fucking awful.
Kendall turned around and started sulking as he walked away from James.
"You don't understand." James said slowly, his voice a deep rumble that sent shivers up Kendall's spine. "YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!" James screamed.
Kendall gasped and whirled around as James stormed toward him. Kendall didn't turn around fast enough and James' arms went around his torso, locking him in place. "If we stay as friends... I won't have to leave you." he whispered in Kendall's ear. "But if I tell you even the slightest truth about how I feel, it's all over."
"Ja-James..." Kendall gasped right before James tilted Kendall's head with on of his hands and kissed him. It was slow and sensual, both boys taking their time and savouring each other. James let go of Kendall and grabbed his wrist, pulling him flush to his firm chest.
Kendall stared into James' closed eyes, still shocked at what was happening. James moved forward until his body was pinning Kendall's to the wall behind them.
He pulled Kendall's hands above his head and kept them to the wall as he separated their lips.
"I love you." James confessed, his voice rough. Kendall, guiltily, thought about how sexy it was and how he wouldn't mind waking up to it in the morning. "I love you." James repeated. "I've loved you ever since I met you, all that time ago. I love you..."
James let go of Kendall's hands, only to wrap his arms around his waist and bury his head in Kendall's chest, no different than the opposite position they were in earlier.
Kendall slowly moved his arms to embrace James back as tightly as he did.
These three words. Just these three words. Because I couldn't bring myself to say it immediately, it took me three years. James thought with regret.
-o.O.o-
James sighed as he looked up at the sky and the trees surrounding him. He grunted as he stood up and looked over to the kid and the girl he liked. They were standing together, under an awning at the park.
He watched as the boy tried to confess, stuttering along the way, while his friends silently cheered him on from their hiding places in the bushes.
James chucked to himself, then turned heel and walked away.
-o.O.o-
Kendall listened to the horns of the cars honking all around him as he started walking once more. He came to a bridge and stopped, looking out at the sunset and feeling a sense of nostalgia.
It was a day like this that he came to the hospital. After my accident...
-o.O.o-
He came to visit me, someone who could no longer fight.
The doorknob of Kendall's hospital room door jiggled. "Nurse? Is that y-" Kendall started to call but stopped short as he saw who was standing in the doorframe.
James shut the door behind him before he made his way toward a bandaged, injured Kendall.
"I have something to say to you. Will you listen to me?" James requested.
Kendall only looked away. James sighed.
"I'd like for us to live together, Kendall."
"Psh. That's what you came to say?"
"I'm serious."
"I'm pretty sure we've already talked about that. You don't have to feel guilty for me being in the hospital and having these injuries. I don't need your pity."
"Listen Kendall: I need you."
"Need me? For what? You know what? Stop. It isn't funny. You know what happened to me. I'm all beat up, broken. You still 'need' someone like me? Fuck no. Get out."
"...you wanna go to the beach?" he asked, placing his hand on top of Kendall's own. "Or we could go climb a mountain."
Kendall gasped. His eyes watered. "I already said-"
"I know what you said. I'll be your legs, Blondie. I'll take you somewhere. Somewhere we can be high up and see the whole stretch of the ocean. Let's watch the sunset together. Something. Anything."
Kendall's breathing grew shaky and James raised their entwined hands and brought them to his lips.
"I'll take you anywhere you want to go. We'll see anything you want to see. We'll be closer than ever before. I want us to be so close, that we never separate. Breathe the same air, even."
"Ew." Kendall said, laughing while the tears started pouring out of his eyes.
"I'm serious! I want you. I...I need you." James used his free hand and poked a finger into Kendall's most prominent dimple. "Smile. It looks good on you."
Kendall faltered, pulling his hand away from James'.
"Please. Go away. Leave."
James walked back toward the door, but he didn't leave without making a promise. "I'll be back."
"James, wait." Kendall said, pulling himself out of the bed, moving too quickly. He fell. Or at least, he started to fall. James was there before Kendall could even comprehend.
Kendall clutched at James' shirt, trying his hardest not to fall.
"Why...what on God's earth made you want to come see me like this? I look like shit. Feel like it too. You are the last person I'd want to see me like this."
"Like what?"
"Helpless. Weak. Vulnerable."
James didn't want to listen to any more. He swiftly picked up Kendall, bridal style. "Ooh. You're so light. You've lost weight. You need to eat more."
Kendall slapped him on the back of the head and he laughed. James carried Kendall back to the bed and sat him down. He crouched down to Kendall's level and started to speak again.
"Look, Kenny. You are you. No matter what. No matter what happens to your body, mind, anything. What difference does any of that make? Nothing changes. You'll always be that stupid, hothead blonde boy I fell in love with."
James walked out after that, stopping to turn around and say, "My promise still stands."
Kendall's tears started flowing freely once more, when the door was closed.
He covered his mouth with his hand when he spoke. "Idiot. Why do you have to be such a goddamn idiot?"
-o.O.o-
"He really is an idiot." Kendall muttered to himself.
"You look like you're about to commit suicide, standing on the roof like that. Did you get dumped or something?" A voice came from behind Kendall, sounding like it belonged to a female.
He turned around and came face to face with a tall redhead. "When you're hungry, you only think of bad things. I've got some soft pretzels. Do you want one?"
Kendall didn't even have time to think before the random lady shoved a warm soft pretzel into his open mouth.
"U-uh, mmf."
"Oh, don't you like it? How about fish eggs? Or salmon? Maybe crackers?"
Kendall chewed and swallowed the pretzel. "It's not that. What are you doing? Talking to a stranger and giving him food?"
"Oh! It's a pickup. Can't you tell?"
Kendall's eyes grew so wide he feared they would temporarily pop out. "Whaaaat?"
Kendall turned and listened to the traffic zooming past below him. "So why are you trying to pick up men like this?"
"Well I'm single right now."
"Right."
"And eating alone is no fun!" she said as she popped a brownie from her bag into her mouth. "Don't you agree that having someone to eat with much more fun?"
"That's all?"
"Yep!"
Kendall and the girl only stood next to each other until sunset before she spoke. "So what now? Wanna go see a movie?"
"Huh? Why?"
"Oh, you're so silly! Because we're on a date, that's why! Come on, don't be so depressed! You'll miss out!"
"On what?!"
"Life!" The girl yipped. She grabbed Kendall's hand and started running, dragging him along behind her.
"What?!"
"Oh come on! You're shy about holding hands? You're so weird!"
Kendall's green eyes could only watch as he was dragged through streets and on sidewalks by the strange girl whose name he didn't even know. That's right, he thought. We're man and woman. Stuff like this is normal. It's okay to hold hands, even in front of other people. Because we're man and woman...
-o.O.o-
James walked up the stairs and over to the bridge that overlooked the busy highway. He stopped walking smack dab in the middle and faced outwards, looking out at the busy road., thinking.
-o.O.o-
"Mmm I've always wanted to try this." said the girl Kendall met only an hour ago. She eyeballed the ice cream sundae in front of her. "Because I can't go out for ice cream with my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?! I thought you said you were single! We shouldn't be on this 'date'!"
She sighed. "To outsiders, he's my 'boyfriend.' In reality, he's my 'sugar daddy.' He has a wife and kids. A home and insurance. The whole shebang. That's why, when we're not together, we're free to do whatever we like."
"Isn't it painful? Loving someone without being able to express it in public?"
"How come?"
"Because normal couples can hold hands, hug, and go on dates in public."
"That's how it is for you, right?"
"Um, no...I'm not...uh..."
"Hmm?"
-o.O.o-
"Honestly. That boy is so stubborn." James muttered to himself as he was pulled into another flashback.
-o.O.o-
"Oww..." James said as he slammed his head into a standing sign on the ground. He was trying to sneak past the security window at the hospital so that he could go visit his blonde haired love after visiting hours.
He was ducking under windows, sidling against walls, tiptoeing around corners, and a bunch of other random, sneaky stuff he had to do in order to not get caught.
"I feel like a thief or something." he grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his head after catching the sign and sitting it upright once again.
Once James had gotten past the security and all that, he was free to stretch and stand up as he walked.
"Everywhere is so dark. He must be asleep." James hummed and smiled to himself. "No matter! Even if it's looking at his beautiful sleeping face, a simple glance would be enough to reassure me!" he claimed quietly.
He heard a loud clatter come from somewhere around him. James swiveled around in his spot, trying to see what it was that made the noise.
His eyes caught words on a sign hanging from the wall next to him.
Rehabilitation Center
"Rehab Center?" he asked himself. He turned the corner and walked down the hall, seeing one open door with a light on inside.
James gasped at what he saw next.
There Kendall was. Standing. Like, walking, standing, moving, on his own. He didn't have any help, other than the bars he was using for support.
"Guah...ugh..." Kendall grunted and breathed heavily. He looked down, seeing his feet moving, one in front of the other.
James saw it too.
When he did, he dropped his phone and Kendall's eyes snapped toward him, shocked, scared.
"Ken...dall..." James gasped out. The fear and shock in Kendall's eyes quickly dissipated as it turned into anger.
Kendall didn't have too much time to be angry, though. His injuries proved to be too much for him after all. He fell. He let go of the bar and started falling.
Before he could even reach the floor, though, James was there. James caught him. Saved him from further harm.
But Kendall didn't care. "Don't touch me! I'm fine!" He pushed away from James and told him to wait at the end of the bar.
"But Ken-"
"It's okay!"
"But-"
"Just go! Do it. Wait for me."
And with that, James went down to the end of the bar, prepared to wait forever and a day for Kendall to reach him at the slow pace he was going.
"Good. Now just...wait there. Don't move. I'm...going to walk to you." Kendall offered up the smallest of smiles to the taller brunet boy, but James took about anything he could get.
-o.O.o-
"Kendall..." James' deep voice rumbled as he called his lover's name quietly into the night sky.
-o.O.o-
Unbeknownst to James, Kendall has just had the same memory.
"It seems unbelievable. Who I was back then." he said, pretty much to himself.
Both boys, though in different places, looked up, thinking of each other. Thinking, remembering...knowing.
-o.O.o-
Kendall gasped as he shuffled his foot forward again, feeling pain shoot through his body once more. He grunted and groaned as James could only watch, refused by Kendall to even be helped.
But James couldn't help himself when he decided to encourage Kendall to keep moving forward. "That's good! You're going good!" he cheered. "Come to me, Kendall! I need you."
The pain I felt in my body, he thought, hurt so much that I wanted to cry.
"Hyuh!" Kendall grunted as he moved forward once again.
It's so much harder than just doing Martial Arts.
"Just keep going! Come on!" James cheered again.
As long as you were there, thought James, encouraging me, and with your hands held out to me, I would be there too.
Kendall was so happy he could cry when he finally got to the end of the bar.
"Last step..." he moaned.
He stood up, face to face with James. Green eyes holding hazel ones.
I feel like I could do anything. Kendall thought once he completed the arduous task of walking with only a metal bar as support.
I had no more doubts that I could do it. Because you were with me. Kendall thought right before collapsing in James' arms.
"Ugh." was all he could get out. He closed his eyes and just relaxed against James. James couldn't take all of Kendall's weight, so he pulled both of them down to a sitting position on the tiled floor of the room.
"Soon..." Kendall started, "I'll be able to walk. Will you wait for me until then? Don't fall in love with anyone else, anything like that. Will you wait?"
"I'll wait. I'll wait as long as you need!"
"James?"
"Yes?"
"...there's no one here."
"So?"
"So that means that no one will see, right?" Kendall pushed away slightly to look up at James and ask the question with a pink blush on his face.
James visibly gulped. "Is it okay?!"
"Nevermind! Weirdo." Kendall turned away completely.
"Agh! No! I want it! I'm sorry!" James cried while throwing his arms around Kendall's torso again. "I really want to kiss you!"
Kendall sighed and thought to himself, what a goof.
Both boys looked at each other, that tense air, the playful air, the painful air, all of it was gone. Replaced by something that was purely masculine.
James pulled Kendall to face him, gaining a few inches on him as he pulled both of them to their knees. He leaned down and closed his eyes, lips touching Kendall's own.
It was soft and tentative at first, but it quickly grew into something heated. James squeezed Kendall's torso, gaining a gasp from the blonde boy, and James was there in a second. His tongue quickly making work of Kendall's newly parted lips.
Kendall kissed back with just as much fervor. When he felt James' tongue exploring his mouth, he wanted to do a little exploring himself.
With much difficulty, though, James slowly pulled away, chewing on Kendall's bottom lip for a while longer before letting it go with a cute little 'pop.'
Kendall moved his head to James' shoulder and laid there for a minute. "What is it about you? I haven't felt this shy for a long time. Idiot."
-o.O.o-
I still remember it clearly; all of it. The way we kissed, the way his skin smelled, the way his voice got rougher after we kissed, the way his lips were swollen, and the way he looked at me. Oh, how I loved the way he looked at me.
My chest was burning, as if it was our first kiss. You told me that you needed me, Kendall. I hadn't lost anything. And there's one thing that I treasure the most: having you by my side.
-o.O.o-
Kendall held his fingers to his lips, remembering everything James did with a slight blush on his face. He had completely forgotten about the girl in front of him and the 'date' he was on until she spoke.
"You're really in love, aren't you?" she giggled.
He didn't even know her name, yet she could read him so well. "Huh? N-no, I-it's not-"
"AAH! I've forgotten something! Please, just wait for a second! I'll be right back!" the girl yelled before taking off down the street to the nearest pay phone.
-o.O.o-
James' phone rang in his pocket. He answered it at once.
"Hello? It's Jen. James?"
"YOU STUPID WOMAN!" James yelled through his cell's receiver. "YOU'VE CAUSED THIS HUGE MIX UP AND NOW IM IN TROUBLE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!" he screamed, not caring about the startled looks he was getting from the people around him. "What're you going to do about it?!"
"You insolent man! I was kind enough to even call you! Who do you think you are?! You left your address book at my bar. I take it you don't want it back now, is that right?"
"W-wait a second! Don't be like that, Jeeeeeen!"
"Hmph. Do you still have those matches that I gave you?"
"The ones from the hotel?"
"Yeah. The love hotel in the second district."
"Why?"
"You should know where it is. Meet me there to pick up your book."
"See you soon."
"Bye."
-o.O.o-
Kendall turned his head as he saw the redhead bouncing toward him once more.
"Sorry to keep you waiting!" she apologized as soon as she got near. "I have to go meet a customer now. After I picked you up and all. I'm sorry."
"I see."
"Aha! I got it. My dad owns a hotel around here. Come take a look at it. It's a nice hotel. I'm meeting my customer there soon anyway."
"If it's a customer, should I really be intruding?"
"Oh! No, it's fine. I'm just returning something he left behind on accident."
"Uh, are you sure it's okay?"
"It is! Come on, let's go! Let's go!"
-o.O.o-
Castle Hotel, Kendall read as the curly-haired redhead pulled him up to her dad's hotel. Isn't that the name of the love hotel on the box of matches that I used to catch James in his lie in? Kendall questioned himself.
"Are you sure this is where you're meeting your customer?" he asked.
She stretched her lithe body and replied, "Yep. I'm sure. This is my daddy's hotel. Like it?"
Kendall looked down, feeling the anger returning. Who was this chick? What did she have to do with James in all of the mess?
"I'm sorry. Excuse me, but I have to go." he said before trying to speed away.
"Ah, wait a minute!" she tried before she was silenced by another.
"Jeeeeeen!" James screeched, running up to her.
"Oh? James!"
"James?" Kendall stopped in his tracks and turned around, seeing James doubled over next to the woman, trying to catch his breath.
"Jen...why do we always have to meet in front of a hotel?" James panted.
"Because they're easy places to find."
"Uh-um, excuse me...?" Kendall tried. "You're Jen?"
"Yeah! Me in the flesh!"
"Eh?" grunted James. "Kendall?! What're you doing here?" he questioned, as if he had just noticed Kendall was there.
James...he had arranged to meet Jen while I was away, after I stormed out? How underhanded of him!
"James? Is this a friend of yours?"
"What are you doing with Kendall?"
"He's the man I picked."
"Picked up?!"
And then I let Jen pick me up and I followed her here. I feel like a fool. I made a complete idiot of myself. Kendall internally cursed himself before turning heel and beginning the trek to God knows where.
"Ah, wait! Kendall!" shouted James, beginning to chase after him, leaving Jen standing in front of the hotel.
"Listen to me! It's not how you think!" James ran up to Kendall and tried to grab his shoulder. Kendall made a swing for his head, but he dodged left and grabbed onto Kendall's arm.
"Calm down! It's a misunderstanding!" James pleaded as Kendall kept throwing fiery punches his way. Jen could do nothing but watch the two men battle it out.
"Shut up! I've had it with you and your insensitivity!" retorted Kendall.
"Stop it, Ken!"
Oh nooo...don't tell me...it's a so called 'lover's quarrel?' Thought Jen.
"You don't have to sneak around anymore, James! Take Jen anywhere you want, you playboy!"
"What are you talking about?!" James yelped as Kendall's hand came in contact with his face. He grabbed the blonde's wrists, but that did little to deter him.
"Shit! This is getting us nowhere fast. Jen! Go get us a room!" yelled James, still fighting off a fuming Kendall.
Jen looked like a deer caught in headlights as she squeaked, "Eh? Me?!"
"Just go! Do it!"
"Okay! Gotcha!" she responded before running inside to book a room.
Eventually, James just picked up Kendall and hauled him onto his back. "Have you no shame, Jerk?!" Kendall yelled, his fists coming down on James' back repeatedly.
"Shame? You're the one attacking me in public, yelling and carrying on!" Just as James said that, a bunch of people turned their heads toward the couple.
James just hefted Kendall higher and took off inside the building.
-o.O.o-
Jen pressed her back against the door as she shut it and let out a small sigh. She looked up at the two boys, still arguing.
"James!"
"What the fuck do you want?"
"...PUT ME DOWN!"
"Okay, okay! Geez. Pushy." James brought Kendall to the bed and threw him on it face down.
"There!"
Kendall turned over, looking at James with boiling rage. He got off the bed and ran for the door.
"Please move, Jen! I need to leave."
"Oh, but the doors in this hotel-"
Kendall tried the door handle, getting frustrated when it didn't unlock.
James sighed. "Once the doors close, they lock, and they don't open until the next morning."
Liar! All you've gotta do is call the front desk and they'll unlock it! Jen thought incredulously.
Kendall punched the wall. Jen whimpered.
"Come over here and sit down. We can't talk like this." said James.
"Who says I want to talk to you?"
"I do. Now get your ass over here."
Oh...! What have I gotten myself into? Whined Jen. I don't want to be in the middle of this!
"Uh, James? I think it'd be best if I took off now...I'm kinda in the way, here, aren't I?"
"You can stay. Now all three of us are here. We can sort all of this out together." mumbled James as Jen snuck a glance at Kendall. He was still in front of the door, hand glued to the handle.
"Well, Kendall. Do you really think that I've had an affair with Jen here?" James asked.
"It doesn't even matter if you did anymore. I'm not blaming you for that." Kendall was visibly shaking. "But you should've at least told me you found a woman you liked!" he said loudly, turning around to face James with angry tears in his green eyes. "Going behind my back with stuff like this is revolting!"
"A woman?" Jen piped up. "You think I'm James' girl or something?" she grabbed his hand and moved it to her body. "Check for yourself and see if I'm a woman or not." She quickly pulled his wrist to her crotch, allowing Kendall to cop an unwanted feel.
"What's wrong with you lady? Are you cra- what? You've got a..."
"I've got boobs too, but they're REALLY small!" Jen pulled up his shirt and yelled, "These are my breasts! As small as they may beeee!" he giggled.
"Y-you're a guy? What's up with that girly name? And your voice? You don't sound, or look like one at all!"
"Every heard of a 'new half'?" he asked.
Kendall's face dropped once more as he turned around and put his head to the door behind him. "James has fallen for a new half?"
James screamed and punched the wall. "AHH! NO! He's got it all wrong again!" He ran over to Kendall and spun him around, grabbing his shirt and fisting his hands in it.
"Listen, Kendall. Listen good. I'm not going to date anyone, or sleep with anyone other than you. You are the only one for me! The only one I want to wake up next to every morning, the only one I want to see picking up my dirty laundry, the only one I want to ever love! I'm not going to leave you! Do you get it?! You're stuck with me!"
James let go of Kendall's shirt and turned to the side, leaning against the wall beside the door. "Ugh, why is it always me that says the embarrassing stuff in this relationship...?"
Both boys turned their heads at the sound of clapping.
"Fantastic!" Jen cheered before plopping down in the nearest chair and taking out a piece of paper. "Okay, now the third party should leave."
He put away the paper and took out his purse, digging inside for something. He took out the address book.
"Here, James." He tossed the book. James caught it.
"Oh, and Kendall? I'm the one who put that lipstick kiss on his chest. I'm so sorry. I was pretty drunk too." Jen picked up the phone that was sitting on the table next to the chair and started dialing.
"The room is on me for tonight, so enjoy talking it out...or kissing...or having angry make up sex..."
James looked over at Kendall. Kendall hung his head. Jen asked the front desk to unlock the door for her.
Him...
The door was soon unlocked and Kendall moved to let Jen through as James walked her out to the hallway. "Goodnight James."
"Night, Jen. Sorry about all this."
"It's no problem. I was glad to help."
James closed the door behind her- him- and faced Kendall once more. He was still brooding, except he was on the bed this time. James just walked over and sat on the opposite side of it before laying back.
"James... How do you feel about the way we are now?" Kendall asked.
"How do I feel? Well the temperature in the room is nice, and I liked the weather outside-"
"Not that kind of feel, you dumbass!"
"Ah, that kind of feel. Well I like the atmosphere, so I'm waiting for the mood to heat up."
"Stop fooling around, James. I want to talk about this seriously. We need to discuss the situation we're in right now. Together."
"Okay."
"It's okay, this thing between us, it's fine while we're still in college. But once we hit the real world, where will we be?"
"Hey...! What's the point in thinking about all of that now?"
"Now's exactly the time to think about it! What happened today was a misunderstanding, but when I thought you were seeing a girl, it made me think about it."
"About what?"
"Your sexuality. It's normal for men and women to be in love." I'm putting pressure on James, aren't I? However he feels about me, I can't openly call him my lover. My partner. My other half, I just can't do it. Society isn't that forgiving. My existence will only continue to put pressure on him. "If you meet a woman and fall in love with her, don't hold back. Just...at least tell me about it."
James sat up and turned to Kendall, angry. "Are you fucking serious?! Do you really mean that?!" James stood up, right in front of Kendall. "After we find girlfriends or something's, we just say 'that's it' and break up?!" he gasped as a new thought came to mind. "I'm just a substitute until you find a girl?"
"James, I'm just trying to be realistic. Any time you want to break up is fine with me!" I didn't mean that. I could never. But he doesn't need to know. He needs to move on with his life. Away from me.
Kendall looked up at James just as James' fist came in contact with his face. The blow knocked him so hard that he flew across the bed from the bottom to the head.
James took off his jacket and moved toward the bed. He got on, flipped Kendall onto his stomach, and pinned him down. He grabbed one of Kendall's arms and pulled it behind his back. Then he put his knee just next to his spinal cord, making sure he wasn't going anywhere any time soon.
"No...James stop. Not like this..." Kendall pleaded. "You haven't given it any thought!"
James pushed down harder, drawing a yelp from Kendall. "You're right." his voice deep and raggedy. "I've only ever thought about having sex with you. So what? It's just like you said," if even possible, his voice grew an octave deeper, "You're just a stand-in until I get a girl. So just let me satisfy myself."
Stand in...for a woman...so that's what I am from now on...
James moved his knee and released Kendall's arm, only to flip him over and straddle him. He worked on unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt, right before ripping Kendall's in half, buttons flying in every direction.
He peeled off his own shirt as he spoke. "You don't need kisses or gentle caresses, do you? It's just sex, nothing more!" He made a show of dropping his shirt off the side of the bed.
Kendall didn't even do anything. Maybe he just couldn't. My entire body is in pain. I've never known James to be so aggressive. I've never felt so much pain in my heart! Kendall brought his hands to his face. I can't even breathe! He watched as his hands distorted in front of his eyes, wiggling like heat waves coming off of a hot blacktop, as he moved them to push on his face. He buried his face in his hands and tried to move to the side.
It's only aggressive with no love in it at all! I don't want it to be like this! Especially not my first time!
James looked down at Kendall with wide eyes, seeing his internal conversation. He leaned back and rolled over. "Okay. I understand what you're saying. I've thought about it myself too. But why do we only have to think about breaking up?"
Kendall grunted softly, opening his tear filled eyes.
"I want to be with you forever, Kendall. How can I make that happen? Am I the only one who thinks like this?"
"I...was scared." Kendall started quietly. "I could never compete with a girl. They can walk with you together in public, you can go places together as a couple, they can make a home for you...how long will you and I be able to stay together like this? Hiding from others? I will only become a burden to you, James."
Enough! James leaned back over Kendall and took his face in his hands. He moved down and kissed him tentatively. It was just a little peck, but it told each of them what they needed to know.
James pulled back, his voice taking a gentler tone. "I don't care if I have to give up everything to be with you. Ever since high school, when I said 'let's live together!' I made up my mind to never leave you."
Kendall smiled, blinking the tears out of his eyes. He sat up and hugged James, not wanting to let go.
James released Kendall, pulling back a bit before gasping and leaning forward again, grabbing his face and zeroing in his lip.
"Here...your lip is bleeding."
Kendall let out a small chuckle. "Well naw shit, that's where you punched me."
"Oh. Sorry."
"It's fine. It hurts less than the aching in my heart."
"Your heart?" James brought himself further into Kendall's embrace, motioning to Kendall's crotch. "What about here? Does it hurt here too?"
Kendall blushed as James started palming him through his pants. "No...don't...not there...!" he cried out.
James blushed too as he continued his ministrations. "Look, I was being a jerk to you earlier. But...now I really...want to make love to you...okay?" He stopped and pulled his hand away.
Kendall moved his free hand and pointed to James' dick. "After what 'this' was trying to do to me just now, I figured as much." Kendall said, smirking at James' wide eyes.
"Ah, Ken-Mmm..." James moaned as Kendall switched, and started mimicking what James was just doing.
"Don't worry, Jamie. I'll make sure you're satisfied." Kendall whispered.
Kendall brought himself forward and pressed his lips against James'. They moved together in sync, feeling each other, knowing each other.
He pushed James on his back and straddled him. "Stay still." Kendall commanded.
"W-wait! You mean I'm the bottom?!"
Kendall pulled his torn shirt off of his shoulders and threw it across the room. "You have torn my shirt to shreds, moron."
"Hey, K-K-Kendall, c-calm down! This is all my fault! Just f-forgive me, please!"
Kendall leaned in to kiss James again, but James' mouth was wide open due to his yelling. "Your mouth's open too wide." Kendall said. James closed his mouth and Kendall moved in, sealing their lips together again.
I knew it. I always knew...no matter what happened...I couldn't leave. I could never leave him...
-o.O.o-
"Kenny...it hurrrrts!" James whined as he placed his head on his apartment's dining room table.
Kendall let out a 'hmph' as he put a cup of coffee in front of James.
"Seriously, though. Kendall, if I bought you a ring, would you wear it? I know we can't officially get married, but...I'd really like to. I mean, we could even move to another state and get married, you know, like Cali or something. If you don't want to wear it on your finger, you can just have it on you, like in your wallet. That'd be fine." James stated.
James lifted his head up as he asked Kendall, "Is that alright?"
"This sounds like a proposal."
"I'll have a ring ready for you when I want to propose."
"Well then in that case, I need to think about what to say."
James sat up and leaned in so close to Kendall that their lips were almost touching.
"The only thing that I'm going to hear is 'yes.'"
"What convenient ears you have there."
Both men leaned in and kissed each other, Kendall's tongue sliding along the seam of James' lips. James moved and pulled Kendall into his lap. They made out for quite a while, only stopping to pull away when Kendall saw the landline receiver. It was beeping yellow, showing them that someone was either calling them or leaving a message.
Why hadn't they heard it ring?
"Hold on, James." James had started attacking Kendall's neck when Kendall pushed him away to go and listen to the message.
"This is Lucy. James, I haven't seen you in ages." A sensual female voice came from the line. Kendall's eyes widened as his mind went straight to conclusions and accusations.
"I'm so lonely without you..." Both men looked at each other, then back down at the phone. "But I won't be unreasonable. I'll be waiting for you at the usual bar. See you!" The message ended.
Kendall stood up and balled his fists angrily as James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and tried to explain.
"U-uh, well, you see, that was..." Kendall started to visibly shake in anger. "Another new half, like Jen."
"Using the same trick, over and over again...you cheater!" Kendall yelled before proceeding to beat James with anything and everything in sight.
-o.O.o-
"Oh? Lucy! You mustn't play practical jokes on James and call him at home!" Jen scolded Lucy at the bar they were at. "He's got a really jealous wife!"
"Oh dear! What should I do?" Lucy feigned.
"What? What are you saying?" another new half joined the conversation. "A woman? Or a man?"
-o.O.o-
"Let me go, James! I'm going back home!" Kendall struggled to make it to the door.
"NOOO! YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG!" James struggled to keep his hold on Kendall's legs.
"YOU'VE GOT IT WROOOOONG!"