Longing
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Beneath venturing fingertips, the surface of the transparent glass proved to be chilled as the wind on an empty, desolate day in the midst of an autumn season. This description being comparable to the conditions that lay just outside his closed window, as he sat sheltered in his cramped, yet comforting apartment. The picture beneath the protective glass of the frame his fingers currently resided on was familiar, yet as the days went by, he grew less fond of it, and memories became nightmares. Ache and longing filled him so terribly.
Pale blue eyes took in the details as if it were a tradition, fingers continuing to trace over a particular face in the photograph, the same face that incited his daily sorrows. Those dark eyes captured in the time of the photo that held no emotion, only a well portrayed outward annoyance, pierced his very heart. Naruto had to contain his chuckle of ironic amusement at this quiet observation as he then thought of his younger self, who was also featured in this photo, and how carefree he used to be back in those times of blissful enjoyment. It was easier to hide his sorrow back then, because he'd had the most effective pain medication of all… his best friend.
Now, everything was different, and through all the buried and concealed agony he held tightly to, Naruto knew there would be no righting the wrongs of this situation. Sasuke was gone. He knew this, and yet there was something that persistently reminded him of the impossibility on attempting to let go of the past. He dwelled in it, and reveled it in, unable to escape it.
A sigh escaped through his nose, which must have been the first audible sound permitted from him in what could have very well been hours. Perhaps days. Time was no longer on his side, and he did not dare to keep track. Too many wasted years. None of it mattered anymore, and it was all so petty. Insignificant.
Dropping the picture frame onto his bed, Naruto closed his eyes and breathed heavily, willing the anxieties out of his system. Sasuke's face somehow always successfully gifted him with the worst possible emotions these recent days, even with just the memory of him alone. The pain of it was indescribable, bordering on unbearable, though since there was no remedy, Naruto was left to drown in it on his own. Sasuke had always been his burden and his burden alone, after all. He supposed all of this now was only fitting.
"Someday you're going to give yourself an aneurysm from too much concentration, kid." A low voice greeted from beyond the doorway, behind Naruto's own current position. He didn't bother to open his eyes or turn, for he already knew the identity of his visitor.
"Would you enjoy to be the witness of just that?" Naruto questioned with a deadly hiss, hardly in the mood for Kurama's sarcasm.
His mostly rhetorical question was met with a scoff, of what Naruto exactly expected, as the redheaded male pushed past the door and welcomed himself into Naruto's room. He strode along in his steps until he approached the poorly made bed and casually, carelessly, flopped down onto the mattress, propping his chin up on his hand where he now lay. Sometimes their personalities didn't properly coexist, Kurama would be the first to admit, but that should not translate as any desire for ill will on the boy. He suspected Naruto already knew this, simply was not in the mood for civil conversation, if the picture frame on the bed was any indication.
Reaching over, Kurama plucked the curious, innocently-lying photograph up into his hand and examined it with halfhearted interest. He wasn't interested in what it was, so much as what was represented behind it, along with what that meant for Naruto's mental balance. This thing, the redhead thought with an accusing inner-voice and a clear perceptible growl. This simple, stupid picture, it was like a depressive drug to Naruto. He caught the boy looking at it daily, even if it wasn't a lengthy bout of sitting and staring as it was today, and only a glance of pure longing, it remained a basis routine. Kurama knew Naruto purposefully did it to punish himself, all because Sasuke was gone and would not be coming back.
He would never understand why Naruto interpreted Sasuke's life as his responsibility, and why he had unconsciously made the protection of the Uchiha his job. It seemed the boy enjoyed suffering and laboring under his personal never ending quest to bring Sasuke home. Even now, as the pill of impracticality was being forcibly ingested by the blond, the kid still chose to surround himself with his one failure. Sasuke. Oh, how Kurama had grown to hate that Uchiha.
After slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position on the bed, feet firmly on the floor, Kurama gestured for Naruto to come and occupy the space to his left, to sit next to him. In his hands, he still held the frame. Naruto obliged with an unspoken reluctance. He hoped Kurama wouldn't pry him further about his troubles, even if it was terribly unlike the fox to do just so. Although beside that premonition, Naruto suspected he already knew what Kurama specifically wanted from him.
With Naruto sitting to his side, Kurama spoke, keeping his eyes downcast with disgust, glaring at the picture. "You need to let it go. It's getting old. Sasuke was hopeless since the beginning."
True, Naruto could very effortlessly retort with the full velocity of his well-hidden anger and pain, the same pain that had festered inside of him like an open wound for years, then defend his case as to why he could not simply fucking let it go. But…he was just so tired. He held to a resolve to remain silent about the matter, but there was still the unspoken argument hanging in the air between them. Naruto kept his eyes to the ground and began mentally listing off all the reasons of why Sasuke, along the past, could not be so easily forgotten or put behind him. The anger kept him warm, all his repulsion directed at only himself.
Red eyes peered in Naruto's direction, staring at the way those tanned fingers slowly fiddled to keep the owner of these appendages distracted. Really, he hadn't expected a reply in the first place, so there was very little disappointment to spare. A breath of dismissal escaped Kurama's lips, turning back to look at the picture frame in his hands. His support turned limp then, and the wooden frame fell to clatter on the ground. By his account, the glass had cracked. Good, he thought bitterly. Let that vile item be destroyed.
Surprisingly enough, Naruto only showed a flinch as his only visible reaction. No glance, no gasp, no jump up to recollect the shattered frame in his protective arms. Just a slight flinch. It angered Kurama to watch the boy he once knew so well crumble into something he did not recognize. Flames of unknown irritation overflowed his quiet demeanor, quickening the blood in his veins. Stubborn, self-loathing, foolish child.
A growl from Kurama was Naruto's only warning of indication before he found himself brusquely and roughly pushed over to his side on the bed, Kurama's teeth having found their way deep into the flesh of his neck, and the fox-man's hand gripping his upper arm with a bruising intensity. No sound left him, but his mouth hung open in unprecedented shock, the pain finally penetrating past his stoicism. Blue eyes were equally wide, unseeing, yet very aware of their surroundings. The notion of being bitten wasn't what shocked him, only the pressure behind such an uncalculated attack.
Though quite the opposite of welcoming, Kurama's teeth were actually familiar with this part of his body.
A moment. Quiet. Then, Naruto hissed and twisted, his every bodily muscle tensing and fighting, wanting to escape, even if the dull fight represented what it was like to pin the defenseless. It was plain to see the blond wasn't trying. Perhaps it was a lack of care, but Kurama could see past that, having known the fight in Naruto had died out long ago…as accompaniment for Sasuke. It made everything less enjoyable.
"Not gonna fight me this time?" Kurama inquired gruffly, licking his lips of blood and saliva while turning a pliant Naruto onto his back below him. Blue met red, unrelenting fire and yielding water, serving to spike the already rising flames from within. Kurama would do anything to force reaction from that face. He wanted to see something, anything, when Naruto had nothing to give. All was already given, to that damned boy Uchiha Sasuke. And that is where Naruto's true heart lie, unreachable and gone, lodged inside the memories of the past. Kurama wanted to inflict pain, he was so blindingly infuriated.
No answer was received in the moments the fox allowed time for reply. "Have it your way," the redhead stated sternly.
Clothing ripped like paper, removed and carelessly shoved elsewhere. Tongue pressed to skin, teeth embedded into flesh. Small hisses were given in reward, sometimes a grunt, rarely a sigh. Naruto allowed Kurama to use him as he please. Expose him and caress him, punish him and hurt him, all carried on without pause or protest. Kurama enjoyed Naruto's submission to some extent, and the new way of devouring the boy he'd grown so shamefully fond of, but there was a silent mourning to the old ways in which they used to conjoin. Passionately and playfully. The past.
Both of them fully nude, engulfed in the dark light of the untainted moonlight, flittering in through the window to sanctify their union. Kurama climbed over Naruto, bracing himself on his hands and knees over the boy, covering the slighter body with his own larger. Dreary lidded pairs of eyes meet with lust clouded in their vision. Something exchanged between their minds, and with the leisure speed of slow temptation, Kurama lowers his lips to descend onto Naruto's. A hushed moan escapes the blond's vocal cords upon contact, adding pressure to the kiss by lifting his arms and wrapping them around Kurama's neck, a serpentine squeezing of need. Of course, Kurama all but gives in to him. He must question his actions, and wonder as to when he became so weak to rescue this boy from his own self.
"Open your legs," he commands in a strained voice, and Naruto does. "That's it, boy." A compliment added in a teasing, chuckling voice.
Kurama easily slides his hips between those spread, sturdy thighs, quietly groaning when his erection is then pressed to warm, soft flesh. He holds his breath for a moment, and it's all he can do not to begin rutting this boy into the bed, as his animal instincts beg him to do just so. The anticipation swells in his hardened, heated flesh, imagining the gripping sensation of his length held tightly inside stretched, convulsing, and wet muscles. A growl is barely withheld in his throat as he bites his lower lip, a smirk widening his features.
In a turn of characteristics, Naruto isn't sure what he's feeling. He'd predicted to be imagining what it'd be like to have Sasuke in the position Kurama has him in now, and what it would be like to force his cock inside the Uchiha, to fuck him into unconsciousness. But he knew it'd be impossible even before he'd tried; his mind was too preoccupied with the redhead above him, and maybe…it was good. Perhaps this is exactly what he needs to finally let Sasuke go. The thought invokes laughter. He'd be kidding himself if he thought forgetting Sasuke would be so cliché. Although it isn't beyond him to enjoy being here with Kurama. So he pulls him closer.
Tanned hands rove over a roughened jaw line, smiling in his delirium, exploring those facial features he knows all too well now. He grips Kurama's face in each hand, and pulls him down so surely. A soft peck is given to those firm lips…then a bite. With a hot breath, and a whispered voice, Naruto says, "Fuck me."
Kurama's response is instant, growling out loudly his want to possess the boy underneath him, moving lower to once again bite that exposed neck, sinking his fangs in to pronounce a sort of claim over this body. His hands possessively grip each of those opened thighs, forcing them wider apart, asserting his dominance as his hips begin a rhythmic rolling motion, grinding his hardened cock into the crevice of the boy's ass, delighting in the dry friction it creates on his needing flesh.
A whine that is too deep and gravelly to appear helpless emits from the blond's throat, his arms enclosing around Kurama once more, as his own teeth seek out and find the fox's neck, biting the flesh there and marking his own territory. He'd be damned if he let Kurama get away with the idea that he was the only one in control here. A new heat arises in his body from where the man above thrusts down on him, leaving a breathless arousal to enter his shaking frame. The lust is feverish, and Naruto rolls his hips upwards, meeting Kurama's own downward pushes.
Naruto's eyes blur in yearning, his nails digging into the hard, muscular back his arms hold so strongly, fervently thrusting his hips, bucking upward from the mattress below, desperately needing the pleasure and satisfaction. He doesn't know what's come over him; he'd never pictured himself able to enjoy such an act with the loss of Sasuke looming over him like a ghost with an indestructible grudge. However, he'd curse himself if he put a stop to it now. Forgive me, he pleads silently to the invisible guilt, but just for tonight, I'm not going to think about it. His grip on Kurama becomes unyielding and solid, then. Unbreakable.
Growls spill from Kurama's throat without respite, muscles in his body straining for more force, hips moving in unrelenting patterns. He can't say for sure, but he thought he'd saw the expressions change on Naruto's face, and sensed the last of the reluctance leave his body. Kurama only hopes, because even if it's only once, he'd like to have Naruto completely to himself.
He takes advantage of the moment, staring without blinking down into that obviously pleasured face, giving him more, grinding his dripping cock against the boy's ass in earnest, bringing them both what they need. A loud, unrestrained groan exits Naruto when Kurama then decides to wrap a hand gently around the boy's hard, slightly reddened erection. The movements become all the more harsh, and the inhibitions are swept under the rug. Kurama can finally feel at ease in the delight he takes at having Naruto as his own.
"Harder," Naruto mumbles around a moan, his hands sliding down to Kurama's lower back, urging him on while simultaneously feeling the muscles there move in accordance with the man's ruthless thrusts. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold himself back, his body is already demanding there be more than this measly grinding, which, although does a swell job of inciting his arousal, also does a terrible job at gratifying him. He can't bring himself to use comprehensive words that would notify Kurama of his discontented state, so instead, he offers one, while steadily thrusting upward into the fist the man has around his cock.
"More. More."
Disregarding how little Naruto hinted, it nonetheless helped greatly. In fact, Kurama had grown tired of remaining on foreplay; it was testing his nerves appallingly so, for he wanted things to proceed now. Kurama would admit to being impatient, but the impatience had been birthed from worry, and a hindrance compiled from his account on Naruto's behavior. In short, he was scared that Naruto may change his mind, and call off letting Kurama have him. The thought alone provoked a less than pleasant shiver down his spine.
"…My pleasure," the redhead smirked. It was unlike him to be so slow, he usually took what he wanted, as fast as he wanted it, without a mind of what the consequence would be. He supposed this was different, though. The idea of Naruto fleeing at any moment kept him horribly, obnoxiously sluggish with his proceedings, but he was bored of the wait to have what he wanted most, when it was so clearly, and willingly, in his grasp.
A rough stroke was given to the blond's already precum-leaking cock, another one following quickly after, drawing out a loud moan and a bodily jerk from the one receiving this treatment, causing Kurama's smirk to widen while his teeth and eyes similarly gleam with mischief. He takes shameless pride in the power he holds over Naruto, and shows this by moving his hand free from that pulsating erection, up to run an unforgiving hand violently through blond locks. He jerks that tanned head backward using the grip on his hair, forcing those blue eyes to meet his own in the process, his fingers tightening in the thread-like hold he has on him. Kurama chuckles at the indignant gasp that leaves Naruto's throat, having clearly not expected the abrupt change in circumstance. It fuels him to hold that much stronger.
"Tell me how much you want it." Kurama's voice is rasping out command, as his hips then roll particularly harder onto Naruto's below him. He jerks his hand back in Naruto's hair again, purposefully intending to cause hurt in a means to emphasize his lack of understanding on not being answered. Really, he'd been playing nice now way too long for his tastes.
Despite Kurama's blatant cruel intention, Naruto surprises by hissing in what could be debated as pleasure, with a small smirk radiant on his flushed face. His right leg comes up and circles around Kurama's sweaty hips, pulling him closer this way, as his hands follow suit and pulls the man down farther by his back, feeling that hard, wet cock then slide its way between his bottom cheeks. Naruto gives a breathy laugh, taking joy in the turnout of their play-fucking, even with the pain emanating from his severed hair follicles. "You know how bad I want it. I told you to fuck me. So why are you still waiting? Thought you had more in you than this."
Kurama snarls in outrage, his hand clamping ever so harder in that blond hair, not responding well to Naruto's taunting. "You little brat." He grins maliciously, leaning down to nip that whisker-scarred cheek, fangs bared, drawing small amounts of blood to the surface and watching the droplets dribble down that plump cheek. He knows of the little game Naruto is hoping to inspire, but is not keen on the idea of giving into it, especially since it wasn't his idea. Lips by Naruto's ear, he whispers, "Thought I'd take it slow, for your sake. But since you're not showing gratitude, perhaps I'll have to punish you."
With that, Kurama removes his face from Naruto's, pushing himself up onto his hands after releasing his hold on his hair, and glares down with disapproval into those shining blue eyes. Here he'd thought to enjoy some more exploration of that submissive body he had now available for an unknown quantity of time. Draw out their consummation for as long as possible. He'd even entertained thoughts of holding those thighs open with an immovable strength, digging his claws into the toned legs, and forcing his tongue inside the tight, contracting muscles of the boy's ass, wanting to hear the screams of pleasure he'd surely get for doing such a thing. He licked his lips at the recollection, smirking alarmingly wide. Naruto had to unwittingly ruined those imagined events by challenging him, proving to be the same impatient little boy Kurama had known six years ago. How disappointing.
Bracing himself on one hand, Kurama moves his other down to grip the inside of Naruto's thigh, keeping his sharp, red eyes fixated in place on Naruto's face, spreading the limb he holds open. He means to instill a sense of control upon the blond, and does so by keeping his disposition unforgiving and harsh, domineering and authoritative, wanting to see Naruto release his inner obedience and compliance. A small surrender that would prove to be great in terms of their roles together. It wasn't as if their places weren't already known, even if sometimes Naruto's assertion of playfulness could get on his nerves.
Naruto is still smirking, his gaze unwavering as he reciprocates Kurama's stare. He couldn't hide how terribly excited he was; he was positively shaking with anticipation, while his erection pulsed and leaked. He wanted it now, but was still more than willing to enjoy whatever remain until Kurama decides he'd had enough. The power play really turned him on, even if it wasn't within his norm to like such a situation. Usually, he wasn't so yielding. In fact, he saw himself as more of the dominating type, though dominating Kurama was very far out of the question. The mental visual didn't fit, and it was slightly on the unsettling side to imagine it. So, for now, and as long as it was with this stubborn fox, Naruto didn't mind the position he was in.
The blond's thoughts are abruptly cut off as he feels Kurama guide the head of his wet cock to the entrance of his ass. His body tightens without his consent, and a rush of nerves hit him dead on like a foreboding sense of death, the smirk he once held is now but a ghost, as a large knot forms in his throat. He imagines the width of that sizeable erection stretching him, and it's thrilling, yet terrifying. It was correct that in the past, ever since Naruto discovered the jutsu to unleash half of Kurama's chakra from the seal to form into a physical body, they had messed around in sexual ways. But it never went this far, nor did it ever carry on for this long. Naruto suddenly couldn't stand any more waiting.
"Put…put it in. Fuck me. Hurry…please." His voice is trembling, eyes closing and squeezing, his hands moving up to grip those wide shoulders, looking for stability, for a hold to pull him out of his fear. His breath gets caught the second he feels Kurama push against him in oblige. That wide head forcibly opening him and penetrating. Pain came hand in hand with the pleasure, and a cracked groan escapes his mouth in gusts.
From where he braces himself, Kurama's bicep and thighs quiver, either because of the strain or the instantaneously pleasure, he isn't sure, but he knows it feels too amazing to stop. The precum is enough for the penetration to be somewhat smooth, and the fox can feel the way Naruto's insides squeeze, as he pushes past that tight, clenching ring of muscle that seemed wanting to block his passage, to then lodge himself deeply inside the boy's insanely tight body. He's breathing ridiculously fast, and everything is hot with fire, making him momentarily forget his earlier anger and irritation. His claws dig into Naruto's thigh, pushing that leg open until the outside of his knee touches the bed, spreading him completely. If he'd thought fucking this boy would have felt this good, and in only its beginning stages, he would have done it long ago.
A retort isn't given to Naruto's pleads, and suddenly, Kurama begins pulling backwards, with more speed than he used to firstly push himself inside, until just the tip of his red cock remains, only to then speedily shove himself back inside, with his hips smacking against Naruto's ass. The hands on his shoulders tighten on him in reaction, as a howl of pleasured pain then fills the room from Naruto's wind pipes. A smirk reinserts itself on Kurama's lips. Soon, a pace is set, and he's steadily thrusting inside the boy, the precum helping the speed immensely. Hips are repeatedly slapped against Naruto's ass, which is quickly becoming pink from the onslaught of thrusts, while Kurama loses himself in the feel of their rough fucking.
Veins abrade the sensitive inner flesh, small dribbles of leaking substance staining the inside of the compliant body, motion becoming lubricated and therefore faster, bed posts hitting the wall. Kurama is past the point of unstoppable will, craving and needing more. The friction is heaven and hell wrapped up in the same package, stimulating his cock overly so, as the tight muscles of the ass he uses seem to squeeze the life from him. He's panting breathily, exerting himself as he now braces his body up by two arms with hands firmly on the mattress. Thrusts are relentless, drawing screams, moans, hiccups, and pleads from the body beneath. Kurama's own vocals are being tested through form of growls, grunts, and his own thunderous moans. It's insane, hot, wet, and never-ending, as their fucking carries on and on.
Naruto is gone. Mentally, and perceptively. He knows he is yelling, knows his nails have dug so far into Kurama's shoulders that there is blood, but he can't even fathom where he is. It felt too comparable to blindness. He is only aware of the slick, hard, and wide feel of Kurama demolishing him from within, giving suspicion to Naruto that Kurama's cock is on a mission to penetrate into Naruto's guts. He doesn't mind. He would willingly give himself to this man at any time he was needed. If only he'd known how good it felt to let go. To open his mouth and scream his pleasure, and release his long pent up anger and sadness alongside it. Not only that, but to feel that there was no sadness, even for only a moment in time. It was something to be reckoned with.
His cock leaks a steady stream of sticky, white mess onto his stomach and hips, as butterflies continuously dance inside of him at every inward ramming. It's a sensation of building, and he can feel his breaking point reach closer and closer with each ecstasy-ridden thrust. He never would have predicted it'd feel this good, combined with the way Kurama's cock seemed to push against an extremely sensitive erogenous zone inside of him, something he didn't even know he liked stimulated, or even knew existed, until this point in time. The more and more this spot was touched, the closer he felt to coming, and the tighter he held on.
"Harder, harder! Nnn! Yes, more!" Nonsensical exchanges of moans and slurred words are emitted, barely understandable in their desperate tones of desire. At one point, Kurama's hand unconsciously, and without reason, snakes its way around Naruto's throat, gently squeezing, intensifying their sex for the both of them, adding an unknown dimension of lust to it. Neither of them seem to take too much heed in being slow or careful any longer, not with the way the thrusts cause new bruises on both of them alike, or the way Kurama's fingers dip into that bared neck, while occasionally leaning down to leave a fresh bite to the sweating skin. Everything is senseless, all in seek of more pleasure.
Kurama doesn't know how much longer he will be able to sustain. Surely on any other given circumstance it would take a considerable amount of time to draw orgasm from him. But, in this instance, with Naruto beneath him for the first time, giving him use of his body, letting himself be defiled in any way Kurama can imagine, it's getting to be too much. His cock pulsates strongly, a warning, while precum escapes in significant amounts, a secondary warning, as his mind reels from the overload of stimulation.
"Take my cock! Take it! Fuck…" he snarls with a torn voice, constricting his hand around Naruto's neck to an aching degree, with the levels of distress becoming worrisome. Naruto tries to moan in reply through the hand around his throat, but the repetitive yells for more are cut short, so instead he growls and scratches his hands down Kurama's back. He spreads his legs open in accommodation as far as they can go, wanting to reach his peak, feeling it twisting there in his stomach, and in the way Kurama's cock moves within him. He can only but bear it now, and let the fox fuck him all the more harder.
The end hangs over him like a shadow, and Kurama thrusts with pulverizing power, while at the same time feeling his balls tighten, with the pleasure of orgasm teetering on his entire frame. His snarls come continuously now, and his hand suffocates Naruto at this point, while his cock swells within the sheath of the submissive boy's ass. Before he can stop it, the endorphins rush through him, consuming him and swallowing him whole, his back hunching over as he thrusts throughout his orgasm, spurting enormous gushes of hot cum in waves inside Naruto's awaiting body. He's barely conscious near the end of it.
Maybe it was the lack of oxygen that intensified the emotion and sensation, but whatever it may be, Naruto feels in heaven. One of his hands come to grasp at Kurama's wrist, quite as tightly as Kurama's hand holds his throat, with nails digging into skin as an addition, futilely attempting to pry the fox's claws off of him. Though truthfully, he could care less in this particular moment if he died of suffocation.
Using the hand that isn't currently tearing the skin off Kurama's wrist, Naruto reaches downward to throttle his own straining cock with as much strength as he can muster, beginning a fast-paced pumping at once. He feels orgasm long before it actually happens, and it's within the exact moment he feels a hot splash of liquid entering him. His only regret is that he can't fight off Kurama's hand long enough to scream out his cataclysmic gratification. He spills his cum onto his stomach, hand speeding up as he pumps through this release, with the first wave hitting him fast and hard, followed by several smaller ones. And through all this, the fox smartly serves to continue thrusting, adding an overload to his orgasm.
Blue eyes roll behind close lids, his body shaking, shuttering and jerking in the aftermath of all that had happened. When Kurama finally stops thrusting, and unhands his neck, he's radiating exhaustion and gratitude. He releases his now-softening manhood and flops lifelessly onto the bed, muscles letting out their tension with a signified great, heaving sigh of relief from his lips.
Long minutes are allowed in which they both recuperate. Kurama eventually collapses on top of Naruto, met with a quiet 'oof' upon impact. It's a wonder both of them haven't fallen unconscious by now. Neither of them move a muscle for the first ten minutes of their rest, thoroughly exhausted, but even awake as they both are, their attentiveness is fleeting. Beyond this, though, the quiet time shared is savored.
The measure of exact moments spent dedicated to resting was unknown, although with faded eye sight, Naruto comprehends Kurama moving to lay to one side of him, noting the fox-man's incoherent grumbling during this action. The blond is against giving back into reality just yet; he knows all too well of the what lies ahead to greet him, and of what ghosts are awaiting his moment of clarity to reenter the forefront of his mind. A breath that forms into a growl of irritation escapes him. Was it so foolish of him to ponder thoughts of life without grief? To think of a life wherein he could live and be moderately okay? He supposed it was.
Fifteen more minutes have passed, and heavy breathing catches Naruto off guard, as his full alertness then gradually returns to him, along with the hangover of taxed muscles. He turns to observe Kurama, only to be faced with a broad back and messy, wild, red hair scattered across his pillow, on top of which Kurama currently rests his head. He's reminded of all their events together up to date; a recollection of sentimentality, and despite however unimaginable peace is in his current life, he permits himself to question what it would be like to live a life with Kurama, physically.
It's completely theoretical, of course. Too many obstacles hold the both of them back from taking their togetherness anything farther than what it is right now. Passed all Naruto's personal psychological issues, there's still the fact that Kurama is nothing more than a chakra entity with personality, residing and living inside of him. This jutsu they had found was nothing more than luck. Illegal, forbidden luck, and used with all the penalties for doing so in mind. Naruto was willing to risk anything in a means to forgo his loneliness. Kurama was not only in knowledge of this, but had a will to save Naruto from it. However futile and reluctant it might be. Beneath all the snide, hateful sarcasm Kurama frequently hid under, Naruto knew how the fox really was.
Dreary and tired, Naruto puts his sweaty forehead forward to press against Kurama's back, ignoring the ache that rockets up his spine from his bottom, and unaware that red eyes are opened the moment this gesture is done. Kurama feels Naruto's hot breath cascading down his back like water, and wonders at what is going through that kid's mind. It's almost funny at how much he catches himself thinking about that these days.
There's a possibility Kurama senses what Naruto is feeling, and can only suffer a wealth of guilt because of it. He'd very much like to be the one to save this stupid kid from his own new and destructive way of living, but they are both well informed that this is an impossible feat. The jutsu isn't meant to sustain for longer than a day, and already it takes such a large amount of chakra to initiate that alone. The principle of the matter that he is always, technically, with Naruto isn't enough. They feel it in unison, how little it is, and how much more there needs to be. This, right now, is what needs to be. But it's something that Kurama can't help, nor can Naruto. He remains still, and lets Naruto rest against him, if comfort is the one thing he can provide.
Consciousness is becoming an unstable thing, but Naruto doesn't wish to fall asleep, even as contradiction is apparent in closed lids and a bundled up frame. There's too much on his mind for rest to be a graspable concept. He worries over how long Kurama will be able to stay this time around, and if when he next opens his eyes after giving in to sleep how Kurama will still be there. There is much more than singular worry with Kurama. Too much more, and Naruto tries keeping these thoughts at bay for as long as he can, swallowing heavily in fear with his dried, water-craving throat.
He doesn't know if Kurama has fallen asleep, and he doesn't know if he's willing to ask and risk waking him. Eventually, though, needs win him over and Naruto gently, hesitantly, places the flat of his hand on Kurama's back, near where the blond is keeping his head. With a scratchy, small voice, he says, "Kurama?"
No seconds are wasted on waiting for a reply. "Hm?" the redhead responds with a deep hum of inquiry.
"Can…you go get me a glass of water?" Naruto is almost ashamed to ask. "Please?" But he knows he won't be denied.
An exasperated grunt of bother, and a large, warm body sliding slowly, limply out from under protective sheets is what Naruto is answered with. A smile quickly stretches across the blond's lips at Kurama's lack of voiced protest, very grateful and overwhelmingly happy on such a simple gesture of the fox's readiness to do this for him. He props himself up on an elbow and watches Kurama stock off toward the bedroom door.
"Thank you," Naruto says.
"…Yeah," Kurama offers neutrally with a small yawn.
Maybe, just maybe, they didn't have to be together constantly like they both wanted, and live together, but undoubtedly Naruto is always happy when Kurama is around, and looks forward to the rare times they are able to spend around each other. Times that don't happen all in his mind, but in reality. When they can touch, and be aware to feel it, and remember it. Even the post-sex soreness he bears with now is okay. It proves that this was real. This wasn't a happening of imagination. Kurama wanted him, and Naruto is proud to say he wanted Kurama back. Still does.
Shuffling around the bed, Naruto reaches over to the dresser that is far, but within arm's length, to pull open a drawer and retrieve a new shirt to wear. He feels no resentment toward Kurama for tearing his clothing earlier. It supplied as more proof that, more than just want, there was also desperation during the time of their consummation. Swiftly, he pulls the white, clean clothing over his head.
With all of this on his mind, he isn't even aware of when he reached over, down toward the floor next to the bed, and picked up the forgotten photograph. Cracked frame and all, Naruto held it with unseeing eyes. Staring.
The bedroom door creaks open, but it doesn't serve to snap Naruto out of himself.
"Wasn't sure if you wanted ice or not, but I put some in anyway-" Kurama stops at the position he finds Naruto in, and glares, red brows drawing downward to furrow in enraged displeasure. Blue eyes were seen glued on Sasuke's still-life face of six years ago. After all the time they had just spent together and everything Kurama had given the boy, Naruto still chose to do this to himself.
The glass of water smashes in Kurama's hand. Blood and water mix to spill on the floor. Ice and glass clink similarly.
There was no saving to be done here.
- x
This mini-story is something I'm a bit proud of. I have a very difficult time writing Naruto bottoming, as I have never done it in the history of all my works, and I was sincerely stressed over the question of if I had or had not transmitted passion properly. But because it was Naruto with Kurama, I felt a slight ease with it, even if it did still throw me out of my comfort zone on my preferences.
Beside that, I am hoping the plot comes across well and readers are able to understand it. What I was attempting at was Naruto's emotional debilitation over Sasuke's death, and the questionable stability of his mentality. He's unable to escape the things he knows will destroy him in the end, so to speak, and that was the main underline to the story.
Feedback from the readers, of any kind, is appreciated and needed.