Red looks down at himself, confused. He is sitting in a small pool of muck, beside a well-worn, currently empty, dirt road. He wasn't wearing the same things he was when he went to sleep, in fact, he doesn't remember waking up. Or even making his way out to the middle of nowhere, and sitting himself down in a puddle.
With a groan, Red stood and made his way up a small hill to the road. He stands still and looks to his left and right. There is no sign of any other person, no power-lines, no cars, no mailboxes, no distant city skyline. He glances down at himself, noting that he is wearing what looks to be something from a Dungeons and Dragons game.
"Huh..." He mutters to himself, checking his pockets for his phone or anything at all. Like he had expected, he finds nothing. With a shrug, Red decides to go left. He walks slowly, the situation not quite catching up to him.
Red looks upwards, towards the sky. The clouds are grey and rolling violently, a sure sign of a storm. He sighs, somehow feeling that he was going to be caught in the middle of a rainstorm. Step after step, Red continues down the path. He feels the faint burn of too little exercise and too much fast food in his legs.
"So this is either a dream...or I'm in some other world..." Red mumbles to himself, unsure of what to think. "Really realistic dream, all things considering...Then again, aren't most dreams super-realistic until you wake up, then you realize how silly it was?" He pondered out loud, a common occurrence since he lived alone.
Thunder boomed above. Red sighed.
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Red was noticing the area become less and less dense with forestry, and gradually shift into rolling fields. He could see for quite a ways all around him, but still no sign of any civilization. He huffed and continued to follow the road into another patch of dense forest.
The road bent and twisted around old looking oaks. The path becoming quite narrow in some places. He stepped over a wide puddle, using his arms to balance himself.
Finally emerging from the trees, Red was greeted to the sight of civilization! Or, what he could assume it to be. The houses in the distance were made of stone, straw, and wood. A large river ran through the centre, and smoke rose in great clouds from the town. Faint alarm bells and screaming could be heard.
"Ah shit..." Red mumbled, taking off into a light jog. He couldn't run, asthma and being out of shape a large factor, but also because he didn't quite want to get involved. Sure, he needed help, pretty badly, since he had been walking for what he assumed to be two or three hours, but he also didn't want to play the part of a hero. It wasn't his style.
Finally arriving at the town, Red quickly examined his surroundings. A lot of buildings were on fire, some people in vaguely medieval-looking garb were running away, and some shirtless guys with axes were terrorizing others. Now that he thought about it, those guys looked almost exactly like the bandits from his new...Fire...Emblem...game.
A thought crossed Red's mind for a brief moment, only a moment. 'It can't be. Been reading too much fanfic stories...'
"ARC THUNDER!" A loud voice shouted from somewhere behind Red. A moment later, a large bolt of lightning flashed briefly in the air, before striking a shirtless axe-wielder in the chest.
Red held his breath and closed his eyes, praying internally. 'Please not Robin. Please not Chrom. Please. Please. Please.' He swiveled in place, finally opening his eyes.
He was met with the iconic face of Chrom, Robin, Frederick and Lissa.
"...Fuck..." Red breathed.
"Is...everything alright?" Chrom asked, planting falchion in the cobble road.
Red worked his jaw up and down slowly, deciding what to say.
"Nope!" Red yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. "Fuck it! I'm out!" He continued, brushing past the four Shepherds and walking away from the town. He mumbled under his breath and disappeared around a stone wall, face confused and angered.
"That was certainly..." Frederick began.
"...Odd..." Lissa finished.
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Red walked down the road, his brow furrowed. "Fuck this!" He yelled at the ever-growing storm in the sky. "I'm not doing some join-the-Shepherds happy fun-time bullshit!"
A loud clap of thunder echoed across the land.
"Yeah, yeah..." He waved, continuing to walk down the dirt road. "I can't even fight! Don't tell me I somehow learned how to do it too! I'm still pretty fat and asthmatic. I guess I could try magic..." He put a hand to his chin. "Nah! I'm not getting involved! The game already has them win! You don't even need the spotpass characters! I'm just gonna go find a nice place to live. Maybe become a blacksmith or some other medieval-bullshit job..."
Red huffed, crossing his arms and examining a decrepit road sign. 'Ylisstol' With a shrug, Red turned and walked towards the capital.