How can you be with someone you don't love? I ask myself that question every morning when I see him laying next to me.
It started out great being best friends, as well as teammates there were no surprises to how we would get along since we've always been ourselves around one another.
But. . .
. . . how do you go from great moments; laughing, play fighting, and all that, to barely getting by the rest of the day?
I ask so many questions like these that its becoming second habit in my life.
Getting up I head to the bathroom to begin my morning routine. Looking into the mirror above the sink, doe brown eyes stare back as sunshine blonde frames my face. I can see the confusion and pain in my deep brown orbs, 'Why did I let this happen? Why do I continue this pain?' The answer is simple because even with these thoughts going through my head I really and truly do love him.
Those romantic moments he'd do something out of the blue for me would stir up those butterflies. The closed eyed smiles that would give his handsome face a more softer edge that would have me blushing for hours. Also, . . . the kisses he'd give whether it was on the lips, temple, or forehead would wash away anyone or anything and seem like we're the only two on the face of Earthland.
Those moments. . . the love it never stopped, it was always there. What stopped was the trust I had in our relationship, my insecurities getting the better of me. It stopped me from believing that he wanted me and only me; he never showed any sign that he didn't want me, that he didn't love me, everything he's done is for me.
Cool arms wrapped around my waist as I was jerked from my thoughts, midnight blue eyes bore into chocolate brown, "I love you." Those three simple words stirred up the butterflies, heat colored my cheeks, and the world was focused on just us.
The smile he gave as he rested his head on my shoulder was that all knowing smile. The one were he knew what I was thinking with out having to say anything. Looking into his eyes, I could see the determination that told me he'd do whatever even the impossible to prove his love for me.
'How can you be with someone you don't love?'
You can't, but I don't need to worry because he does and . . .
"I love you too, Gray."