Author's Note: I wrote this as "feels" for my best friend If You're a Bird I'm a Bird, maybe last year abouts, and she really liked it. I thought recently "hey, why not post it on Fanfiction?" so that's what I did. I'm happy to hear constructive criticism and to hear your opinions! Hope you enjoy :)
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It had been grey for weeks after the battle, the skies cloudy and dark and dismal. The world held the same bleakness, the same wretchedness that many witches and wizards were consumed with since the war against Voldemort.
When the sun finally broke through the clouds one blissful day the wizarding world gave a collective sigh of relief, because they knew life would go on and that the world could be bright again.
Alice however felt nothing, and her sky was still grey even when rays beamed down on everyone else, because he wasn't there. Her happiness, her light, had been taken away from her and no matter how much she cried, no matter how much she screamed, she would never get it back―it would never bring him back.
The bed sheets were soft and warm as Alice slowly opened her eyes from a pitiful nights rest. Heavy rain drops pelted the window across from her and the sky outside was black. There was a sharp flash and Alice felt a horrid pain in her chest, as if the bolt lightning had physically struck her when it flashed. The deafening sound of thunder rolled through the air. She let out a cry and squeezed her eyes shut tight.
Warm arms encircled her and pull her gently back into a firm chest, warm lips pressed against her neck and she snuggled herself back into the heat behind her, almost desperately.
It was so nice in his arms.
Another roll of thunder and Alice squealed once more, scrunching her face up even tighter.
"Oh, Alice," his deep voice sighed into her hair and the tenor it soothed her, made her deaf to the patter of rain against the window pane. "Don't be scared. It's just a little rain. You need to learn to get yourself through it."
Alice turned over to face him and was momentarily stalled at the sight of him, red hair tousled and eyes still partly glazed from sleep, a soft smile on his lips. She didn't notice―didn't want to notice―the sad lilt to it, all she could focus on was how much she loved waking to him like this.
"Why would I need to learn that when I've got you to take my mind off things?" She asked cheekily.
"No Alice, I'm not always here to make everything better anymore. You need to be able to make yourself feel better when I'm not here."
She frowned up at him, her pink lips pouting confusedly.
Before she could utter a reply he cupped her face with one hand. "Alice, promise me that you'll try to get through this without me. Promise me you'll move on."
"What are you talking about, you're right here." Her voice started to rise. "You're right here, Fred."
"No, I'm not."
"But I love you," she replied, her voice softly shacking with all the emotions that were raging through her body. Emotions she refused to acknowledge, because acknowledging them meant acknowledging the truth. "I love you and you're right here."
"No, Alice." His gorgeous eyes were so sad in that moment, so sad that they made her heart ache so tremendously that she almost chocked. She made to reach for him, to get some comfort from his touch, but her hand never got that far. Before her eyes he started to fade; slowly his skin became more translucent, slowly the colour of his hair, his lips, and his skin began to dull.
He was going, he was leaving. He was leaving her again.
Alice was in full fledged panic now. The thunder rumbled louder and the rain struck harder against the glass window behind her.
She reached once more for Fred's quickly disappearing figure. "Fred," she cried out desperately, as another flash of lightening went and the light shone right through him. "I can't deal with this without you. Fred!"
With that she woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in her bed. She looked over to the empty side of the bed, running her hands over the cold service were the flaming redhead had lay moments ago.
She'd seen him, he was just there!
"Fred," Alice called out into the silence, her voice high pitched and terrified. "Fred, please you can't be gone!"
She scrambled up and out of the bed, searching frantically around her bedroom for his tall figure, hoping that she'd see a flash of his red hair, a glimpse of his playful smile.
Then reality came back to her.
"But you were just here," she told the empty room. She knew that he wasn't, he hadn't been there for a long time. "I can't do it, Fred. I can't do it without you."
She sat down on the edge of the bed, hunched her shoulders and cried.
Months had now passed since the war and Alice tried to move on, she tried so hard to start to feel better. She was getting better at spending time with her friends again, she was having dinners with everyone at the Burrow like she used to (she couldn't look at George without feeling like she'd been punched in the gut), she went to work every day and came home to her lonely house to curl up in her bed. She tried to be happy again, tried to be happy without him, she tried to not let those dark days affect her. By Merlin she tried. She tried because she knew that's what he would have wanted. He always wanted her to be happy and she would try until she was.
Alice leaned against the counter top in her kitchen, holding a large mug of coffee and gazing out of the window. Music played from the stereo across from her and she tapped her feet to the rhythm. Alice loved to listen to muggle music in her home.
When the deep, smooth voice of Johnny Cash flouted from the stereo Alice froze. A chocked sob escaped her lips as memories of Fred came flooded through her.
They were in the Forbidden Forest, just strolling and laughing and enjoying the others company when Alice commented suddenly, "I hate days like this."
"What, you hate days when you have to spend time with me?" He asked back cheekily, holding a playful hand defensively to his chest.
"No, stupid. I hate cloudy, horrible days. It's like the world wants you to be miserable. Why can't England be effing sunny?"
Fred looked thoughtful for a minute, his eyebrows creased in a frown; he wanted Alice to be happy all the time. He wanted to be the one to make her happy, make her laugh all the time. "I'll be your sunshine."
Alice burst out laughing and Fred looked affronted.
"What?" The fiery redhead demanded, scrunching his nose up petulantly.
She ignored his question and started to sing the muggle song he'd reminded her of, pointing one of her small fingers at him "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," she taunted. "You make me happy when skies are grey."
Fred glared at her, but she saw how his lips twitched, aching to match her own. He shot forward to grab her but she dodged away, her joyous laughter echoing through the woods. He chanced after her, promising retribution for her mocking, but she managed to avoid him each time.
"You are my sunshine! My only sunshi―ahh!" she squealed as he finally caught her, grabbing her by the waist and spinning her around to face him. She looked up into his gorgeous, twinkling eyes and suddenly felt like nothing in the world could be better than being there in that moment.
This was the moment she knew she was in love with him. She saw him through new eyes and realised how much she cared for him, how much she needed him. He was a person that could make her laugh even when she was sad; he was a person she needed in her life forever and always.
By Merlin, she was in love him.
She watched as his eyes softened and his grin changed into a small, tender smile.
"You'll never know dear, how much I love you," she started, gazing up at him as he held her softly against his long body with her palms flat on his chest, and he gazed down at her unblinkingly. "Please don't take my sunshine away," she whispered, and was shocked by the desperation she heard in her own voice.
He cupped the side of her face in one hand and tilted her chin up towards him, making her lips a hairs width away from his. "I'm not going to leave you anytime soon, Al. I promise." Then he had taken her lips in a sweet, wonderful kiss.
Alice remembered that day so clearly, so vividly because it was the day that one of her favourite muggle songs became their song. It was also the day Fred told her he loved her; he had sighed it as their lips drew apart for breath before kissing her again more fiercely. It was the day he became her sunshine, her only sunshine. It was a time in her life when Alice remembered almost always being happy, because he was always there to make it so.
Tears pooled in her eyes and began to stream down Alice's cheek before she could stop them.
Another memory hit her.
"FRED!"
"Yes, dear?" he had called, turning away from their friends to look over at her innocently.
"What do you have to say for yourself about this?!" She raged at him, pointing to her now emerald green hair.
"What? You change your hair colour all the time and it was about time for another change, don't you think? I thought I was just being helpful. He grinned at her, obviously loving her angry red face.
"This is not ok, you arsehole!"
"But now your hair matches beautifully with your Slytherin tie! How could it not be ok?" He winked.
"FRED!" Alice had screeched again and his laughter rang down the hallway as he ran away from her fury.
A chuckle escaped Alice's tear soaked lips and she sniffled sadly. Always the prankster. To his credit he had changed it back that day, after she'd calmed down and there wasn't a chance of her using the killing curse on him. Still, he found it way too amusing for her liking—Fred just loved to rile her up; not that she didn't like to tease him too, she made sure she got him back every time.
"You can't be cheering for them. I'm your boyfriend, you should be cheering for me!"
Fred was hovering above her on his broom, his beater bat swung over the back of his shoulder. He had ceased to pay attention to the quidditch match when he noticed Alice in the stands holding up a Hufflepuff banner.
Alice smirked. "Tough shit, sunshine." Kestrel, Alice's best friend and Hufflepuff chaser, managed to score a goal just as she shouted this. "Yeah, come on, Kes! Kick their Gryffindor arses!"
Alice's snorting laugh echoed the one she had made when she saw Fred's pouty face that day. He looked so cute and adorable when he pouted.
It was dark in the Slytherin girl's dormitory, the only light was when a flash of lightning would flash in the sky, illuminating the depths of the Black lake and casting light onto her bed covers. The sound of the following thunder was muted but still managed to sound through the water and disturb the peacefulness.
Alice didn't mind it so much anymore and could easily ignore it when she was cuddle up against her boyfriend's warm chest, snuggling her face into his bed shirt.
Fred had sneaked into the Slytherin common rooms, just as he always did when he realised a storm was brewing, so he could help Alice through the night. As soon as he entered the room he saw Alice's blue rabbit eyes, frightened and wide, he rushed over to join her under her green bed covers. He let her curl up into a ball against him and just held her close, knowing that she needed him there, promising himself to always be there when storms got this bad.
"I'm here, Al. Come on now, try to get some sleep, love."
He always pulled himself from bed to stay with her whenever a storm came, no exceptions. Sometimes he told her jokes, or family stories, and sometimes he just held her and hushed her to sleep.
The cool metal on her against the skin of her neck suddenly felt like it was burning her, shouting at her to acknowledge it, and Alice finally let herself think of the locket for the first time since the war. Alice opened it and smiled at the pictures inside. One was of Fred, grinning in the same mischievous manner as he always had, giving Alice a charming wink up from the frame. Alice laughed at that. The other picture was off her, rolling her sparkling pale eyes at the picture of Fred beside her before pulling her lips into a practiced, pretty smile.
She remembered these pictures being taken, especially to put in the locket that he had bought her for her birthday. They had been messing about in the magical photo booth for ages, laughing, pulling faces; he even attacked her with his mouth to stop her from shouting at him for being impertinently mischievous.
The memory made a smile spread across her face, a smile unlike all the others she had given to others over these many long months, because this one was real, this one reached her eyes.
It was then, as she looked out once again across the green landscape, that Alice realised something.
"Fred, I've done it. I've found a way to deal with it." All Alice needed to do was think of him, remember him. It would still be hard without him, it would still be painful, but she didn't have to be sad anymore. All she had to do was think of him. "Oh, sunshine, I think I'll be ok."
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken
So I bowed my head and I cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
You told me once dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me and love another
You have shattered all of my dreams
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
In all my dreams dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
- You Are My Sunshine, Johnny Cash