Chapter One:
I thought that when I started working for her, I wouldn't have to change. I had no taste in fashion, no desire to acquire one, and absolutely no idea what went on in a place such as Runway. When I failed to get that flight for Miranda, I thought it was the end of the world. Not because I had failed in my job as assistant, but because I had failed Miranda. I'd made her miss one of the most important things in her life because of my incompetence.
Although everyone around me, especially Nate and my father, tried to tell me that it wasn't my fault, and that Miranda had impossibly high expectations, but I had the idea that I could have done more to get her out. I suppose my punishment for my failure was trying to get an impossible manuscript. I had nearly killed myself trying to get it, and although I could tell she was exceedingly surprised, she merely looked at me with slight admiration, and partial disgust. I think she found it disappointing that she wasn't able to chastise and fire me.
I think that was the defining moment when I realized I was very attracted to Miranda. It seems strange, being attracted to the woman that did nothing but criticize and critique me, but I was. She was mean, unequivocal, imaginative, demanding and most of all, a complete bitch. But I was attracted to her, more than I had ever been to Nate. I think I knew ages before we parted that I would have to stop my relationship with him.
When I did, it was more a relief than anything else, but it also made me realise that my attraction to Miranda was making my personal life a nightmare. I dreamt about her, I changed for her and I wanted to be the one to comfort, hold and protect her, though I doubted she needed it, and I needed to be the one that would love her.
After the makeover that Nigel gave me, I couldn't believe she starred at me. It was almost as if she had realised for the first time I was a person, not just some lackey that worked for her. When she looked at me, she stopped talking, and starred, noticing everything about my appearance, and as I walked from the room, I felt her stare at me. The smile on my face, the light in my eyes came solely from the fact that she had scrutinized and ogled my appearance.
The benefit, sometime later in the year, was the one thing that made Miranda realise that I was capable. She had already realised I was attractive as such, and she looked at me when she walked through the doors, without anyone noticing. When I saved Emily and Miranda from disaster, they were both grateful, though only Emily showed gratitude at the time.
Later in the evening, when Miranda's husband embarrassed her in front of Mr. Ravitz and other beneficial guests, I'd seen the problem and acted. When he was talking to me, I'd looked back over at Miranda, and I'd never seen that expression on her face before. There was so much gratitude in her eyes as she mouthed 'Thank You' to me. I think after that she knew that I could be trusted and shown a little more emotion than usual.
That's why when the inevitable divorce rolled around, and I discovered her, red eyes, hair undone and looking much older than she usually did, she didn't turn me away. When she let me stay and gave me an explanation for her appearance, and tears filled her eyes, she didn't pull away, but let me comfort her by distance. I'd never felt such emotion for her, such care and devotion to anyone before. I think that's when I realised I was in love with Miranda.
I vowed when we were back in New York, and had to work with Leslie, I would do anything and everything that I could to make sure that neither she nor the magazine was dragged through the mud. For the rest of the time in Paris, I tried to forget about the revelation that had startled me. The affair with Christian was solely for the purpose of trying to forget Miranda and everything she both represented and exemplified.
It hadn't worked simply because of the fact that the moment I was about to leave, I had discovered the plot to change Miranda's position. Desperately, I had tried to warn Miranda, but everything seemed to be working against me. When finally, I had warned her, Miranda had blown off my warning, asking about freesia's instead.
However, when Miranda had done the unthinkable, and replaced Nigel with Jacqueline, my trust was more than shaken. The woman that I had fallen in love with, had done something that I had never considered that she would do to her very good friend, and suddenly my world had been turned upside down. Everything that I now believed in because of Miranda was shaken, and I had no idea what to do.
When, as we were leaving the party to attend another, she had explained the entire thing to me, before giving me what earlier would have been a compliment. When she had described what she meant, that I was like her, previously I would have loved the compliment, but now, that I was shaken by what had happened, the compliment was more than an insult.
That compliment, and the realisation of what I had done for the woman I loved, had startled me and I had felt the undefinable urge to leave Miranda, Runway, and everything to do with that; so I walked out, I left her standing on the steps with the photographers, and I walked away. I felt free, alone, and very saddened that I was leaving.
Later, when I saw Miranda, I thought I was over my love and admiration for her. But, I saw her hair, her glasses, her expression and my love for the woman exploded throughout my body. I was still in love with her, regardless of what she had done. I knew I would be until my dying day.
(Sorry about the chapter shortness, but the next one should be longer, as it will most likely be the last. I hope that this is in character, as I'm unsure and this is the first of these that I have ever written. Please let me know what you think , or whether I should update another chapter!)