Hey! Welcome to my newest fic, Mirrored Loneliness. I'm super excited to write something like this because I was disappointed with the end of Conqueror of Shamballa, so now I guess I can fix that!
Okay so I was actually planning to publish this ages ago, but I hit tons of walls while writing this and ended up getting writers block, so sorry. At least it's here now!
This is a sequel to the fanfic Noticing that I wrote, but I wrote this so that you can read this without having read Noticing. The most important part of Noticing that you would need to know is that Edward loves Winry and tells her that he has to first get Al's body back, and then he can be with her forever.
Well, that's just about all that I have to say, so please read and review! I hope you like this!
Winry hurried down to the underground city to the find the portal Ed and all those big ships had come through. Edward had just gone through it, but Winry wasn't planning on spending any more time without him. She could go through it as well and join him on the other side. She knew now that wherever the portal led, it wasn't to death, and if it led to Edward, she didn't mind where it would take her.
Winry rounded the final corner and stopped. Mustang was standing in front of the portal with his back to her. What is he doing? Does he want to go through too? She wondered. As she watched, Mustang slowly raised his right hand, the one with the glove. Winry stared at it for a second before she suddenly realized exactly what he was planning to do.
"NO!" Winry shouted and ran straight at him. Mustang turned to look at her but didn't lower his hand, so he could still snap his fingers and destroy the portal. Winry sprinted as fast as she could, knowing that this was her only chance to ever see Edward again.
It seemed like an eternity, but eventually Winry reached Mustang. Without stopping, she crashed into him and brought him to the ground, but not before she heard the fatal snap. Flames burst up all around them, and Winry watched helplessly as her dreams burned around her.
"What have you done?" she screamed at Mustang. Anger at him burned inside Winry as strongly as the fire all around her.
He looked up at her, and she saw guilt but also determination on his face. It made her feel angrier then ever. Who is he to split me from Edward? Winry thought. He always has to ruin my life, take away the ones I love.
"I had to, to save our world."
"But Ed-Ed is gone, he's in there." Winry grabbed onto his jacket. Why is he not getting this? She thought desperately.
"I know, but I had to do this. To save everyone."
Winry stared at him in shock. She didn't even know what to do. She felt helpless that she had lost Edward again, and angry at the man who ruined her life not just once, but twice. Wanting him to feel pain like she felt then, she screamed, "What, like you had to kill my parents to save everyone? You didn't need to kill them, and you didn't need to lock Edward away."
At the mention of Winry's parents, Mustang looked like he felt pain much stronger then any physical hurt. His suffering, though, fueled Winry's anger. How is it that he feels like that now? He killed my parents, murdered them, and now he feels regret?
Mustang looked up into Winry's eyes and said the last thing she was expecting to hear. "Edward told me to. He's breaking the gate from the other side."
Winry froze and dropped Mustang. "He left with no plan to ever come back? He knew this, chose this, and still left without me, without Al?"
Mustang picked himself up and added, "Al went with him."
He cared more about Al then about me, was Winry's first thought. Then suddenly she noticed what that meant. He'll never come back. He can't ever come back. He's gone. He's gone. Her anger at Mustang melted away, and suddenly she felt numb, like she had just gotten hurt, badly, but she couldn't feel the pain yet. The first thing that hit her was the fact that he decided to leave her, that the man she loved didn't love her anymore. She began to cry, and with the tears came the pain. He doesn't love me, and I'll never be with him again. I'm alone. This thought made the tears flow harder, until Roy's face was completely blurred out. Winry had never felt so alone and complete despair filled her mind as she saw the dark future ahead of her. What will I do? She thought, and she searched her mind for choices for the future, and the bleakness of each one fueled her tears.
She didn't know how long she sat there, crying, but when the tears finally stopped, Winry noticed that Riza and Sheska were with sitting next to her on the ground.
"Winry, are you okay?" Sheska asked cautiously.
Winry had no answer to that question. She didn't exactly feel better, but at least she finally had a plan about the future. It may be a bleak future, she though grimly, but at least I have one.
"I'll survive." She answered simply.
"Would you like to go to the hospital?" Riza asked.
Winry shook her head. "I'd like to go the train station. I need to go home."
Sheska and Riza traded glances. "I think it'd be better if you stay in Central for a while." Riza said.
"For what? There's nothing here for me, and he won't…" Winry couldn't bring herself to say it out loud, but the others seemed to understand her urgency to leave.
"Very well then. Would you like us to come with you back to Risembool?" Riza asked.
"No, I'll be fine. Thank you." Winry got up and started walking off from where she came from. Riza and Sheska followed at a distance. Once she got outside, Winry noticed that it was raining down from a bleak grey sky. She raised her head up to the rain, letting it disguise her tears, before she walked on towards a home that from now on would be empty to her. She felt emptiness inside of her, a space in her heart that she knew Edward would have filled somehow.
"Winry?" Riza had caught up with her, and Winry knew Riza could see her tears. "Are you sure that you want to leave?"
"I have to," answered Winry, and she kept on walking. I have to live, she thought, somehow. Even in this loneliness, I must keep on going. Winry cast one last look at the sky, and sent out a silent message: I miss you, and I will always love you. She then looked down at her feet and walked on, knowing that the hole she now carried in her heart would be there forever.
Edward hesitated over the lever. He could see the wires leading up to the gate, where he and Al had attached some crude detonators he and his brother had made from spare parts of rockets and some rocket fuel they had found in the big warehouse. Now, all that he had to do was push this lever and the gate would blow up and be destroyed. But Ed couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Um, Ed? Is there something wrong?" Al spoke to Ed from behind.
"No, nothing's wrong. Just give me a second." Ed grinded his teeth together and leaned forward to push the lever, but once again he hesitated. In his mind he saw Winry, saw the life he could have with her, of them getting married and having lots of children and growing old together. He couldn't do it, couldn't bring himself to push that lever and destroy his future.
I have to, something inside Ed said, and he knew that it was true, that he couldn't let innocent people die just because of what he wanted. But even so, Winry's face was all that he could see, and he knew that doing this would hurt her. But what if she's one of the people who die due to my mistakes? Or if someone else that someone loves dies thanks to what I do? Edward asked himself, and he had no answer. He needed to protect her, protect everyone, even if that meant sacrificing some things, like a future or happiness. I have to do this, Ed thought, and before he could hesitate more, he pushed down the lever.
Ed watched as the roof exploded, broke into pieces, and rained down onto the ground. When the dust cleared, the gate was gone, leaving a hole of empty sky in its place.
"Okay, let's move Alphonse's body out of here." Al was taking charge behind him, but Ed didn't move. He stared up into the empty sky, feeling very alone, as if he was the only person alive. Edward had always thought he would go back through the gate somehow and spend the rest of his life in Risembool with Winry and Al. Now instead he was sentenced to a life of roamed a foreign land without a home, without Winry.
"Ed, you coming?" Al called to him, breaking his thoughts.
No use to think of what might have been. Ed told himself, but even as he did so he felt a hole inside him, one Edward knew Winry would have filled up. He took one last look up at the sky before he ran to help his brother carry Alphonse, knowing that the hole he now carried in his heart would be there forever.
So, what did you think? Okay, here is the deal… I'm (still) stuck writing this fic, so any suggestions you might have for what for me to do next would be totally awesome! If not, I might just leave this as a one-shot cause of idea issues, so review if you want me to continue, or if you don't, then tell me why! Even if you hated it, please review so I can fix it, just please do constructive criticism! So please review and help me improve! Hopefully, I'll be able to fix the issues thanks to my reviewers and be able to update this soon.