Introducing Trojan Man!
By: Lady Virgo



Why was he doing this? Why why why why /why/ was he still doing this after the last fight?

Rock shivered. He was probably scarred for life. And now... now he had that freak's power on him. Oh, he felt so dirty!

Rock grabbed his helmet, trying to tear the thought from his head. "It'll be over soon." He said aloud to himself. "Then I can erase this memory chip and melt down the power grid and... uh... give Dr. Light the glaring of his life (can't hurt humans, damn the laws)." And when he got to Wily... Man, there's no telling /what/ he'd do to him!

But... he took a deep breath as he stood in front of the current level's Robot Master's room. Though he had gotten his edge from destroying more normal type enemies, he was still shuddering from the memories.

He stepped into the arena, built as a psuedo-type coliseum and the lights dimmed. A spotlight threw a silohuette on the wall- a man atop a horse. From somewhere came a chorus of deep voiced men singing: "Trojan Man~!"

Rock paled. "Oh, no..."

Then, the silohuette moved, man and horse blurring passed Rock.

Whu-Wa-Wait... A-A /HORSE/?!?

Centaur hung his head. "Please... have pity on me..." He suddenly wailed. "Get this guy off my back!"

Rock sweatdropped. "Wh-What's going on?"

The green Robot Master grabbed our little hero, jostling his rider from his back. "I beg of you! Help me! Keep him away from me!"

Well, really. Who was going to ignore a pathetic plea like that? Rock held out his blaster, sending several shots at the downed Robot Master.

"Hey!" He cried, golden armore only slightly scorched. "How dare you attack a defenseless robot!"

Centaur swept Rock into a tight, effectivly holding him off his feet. "Protect me from this freak, I beg of you!"

"Hey, hey!" Rock squirmed. "Don't /you/ start this, now!"

"Er, sorry."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" The two flew across the coliseum, courtesy of the current boss.

"Ow... Hey, that hurt!" Rock cried indignantly.

"Moron! I'm supposed to battle you!"

"Oh, er... right." The blue bomber scratched his head. "Who are you, again?"

He frowned beneath the red plum on his gold crested helmet. "You didn't get it from the first time? I am," he posed, the chorus once again wortling:

"Trojan Man~!"

"Yes," he said proudly. "I am Trojan Man, killer of Greeks, defiler of the innocent and protector of the free loving!"

Rock just looked at him blanky as Centaur tried to hid behind him. "What?"

Trojan made a face. "Okay, fine. Co-defiler and co-protector. Give me a break." He suddenly jabbed a finger at his opposition. "But you! You defeated my partner! You defeated my one true love! And I shall make you pay!"

Rock blanched. "Err...what? Eek!" He shrieked, diving out of the way of a strike from Trojan's sword.

"Revenge is mine!"

"Hold on a-whoa!" He was surprised to find himself suddenly on a green back.

"Back off, bucko!" Centaur shouted, galloping him and Rock from harm's way. "This is my ticket outta here!"

"Treacherous steed!"

He turned to the robot on his back. "Well? Kill him!"

"Oh, right, right." Rock turned and fired at Trojan. He merely lifted an arm and on his wrist formed a large round shield and an invisible forcefield surrounded him.

"Fool! You'll never be able to beat me with such a puny weapon!"

Damn buster. Always so useless after the first stage bosses. Wait... oh no, that meant... he had to use... /that/!

Rock covered his eyes. "Not /that/!"

Centaur leapt away from another of Trojan's strikes. "Rock! Do something!"

Against his will, Rock held up his buster once more, hand over the weapons change option. "Don't make me used this." Trojan chased after them. "I said don't make me use this!" He gave off a war cry, sword raised. "/PLEASE/ don't make me use this!" He prepared to strike. "Dammit!" He hit the option, armor turning pink. "Screw you, then!" And, as he fired off missle after missle at Trojan, he cried with a deep blush: "Feel the power of the Rubber Invasion!"

Trojan fell into a smoking pile on the ground and Centaur stopped and turned to Rock. "Dude... that was dirty."

"Shut up! I know!"

To their surprise, Trojan jumped back to his feet, only scorched and blackened.

"Such tragedy! Struck down by my beloved's own weapon! Beaten by the one who killed my secret love!"

Centaur sweatdropped. "Dr. Wily's fixing him up right now. Don't know why, but he is..."

Trojan continued dramatically. "Oh, if I only had the courage to tell you what had been in my heart for so long, my beloved..! But-alas! this sweet romance shall meet the same tradgic end as Romeo and Juliet," in the background, Rock was hurling into the corner, "dying without having ever known each other's sweet kisses! Hark, my beautiful Juliet! I shall join you shor-"

Centaur thwacked him over the head with his buster. "Man, just shut /up/!"

Rock struggled to his feet, swaying a bit. "Th-Thanks."

"Sure. Guy gets on my nerves, anyway."

They stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"Um..." Rock rubbed his neck. "Are you going to try and attack me now?"

"Of course not!" Centaur replied, aghast. "If it wasn't for you, who knows what that sicko freak would've done to me! Besides that, with Trojan's power, I can't touch you. Not that... you know, I'd want to. Especial when you have... *shudder* Rubber's attack."

Rock blinked. "Huh? Why? What's Trojan's?"

Centaur blushed. "...Trojan Protection."

"Goddammit! I hate these Robot Masters!"