FF_992224_ 3/13/2017

A/N: I wrote this before this past week's episode "Shadow of a Doubt". I wasn't really happy about how "Lost Souls" ended, and this is the result...

NYPD Police Commissioner Francis "Frank" Reagan leaned back in his chair, content. All three of his surviving grown children had come by this Thursday night to watch the basketball game with him and his father, the retired NYPD Police Commissioner, Henry. As the game went on, though, his feeling of contentment began to slip away. His youngest son, Jamison "Jamie", an NYPD Patrol Officer, seemed to have something other than the game on his mind.

Even Frank's eldest, NYPD Detective Daniel "Danny" Reagan, who was notoriously oblivious to these things, noticed something was up when Jamie didn't react to their team's come-from-behind efforts going into half-time. "Hey, kid," he elbowed Jamie none to gently, "what's up? You're not celebrating the come-back!"

"I've got a lot on my mind," Jamie mumbled, getting up and moving away from his brother. He shoved his hands into his front pockets, staring unseeing out the window. The others refreshed their food and drink before a quick exchange of glances elected Frank as spokesman.

"What's bothering you?" Frank asked quietly.

"Bar stools," Jamie sighed. He shot a quick glance at his dad, knowing the other man would get the reference.

"That's what you said on Sunday," Danny said, confused. "What does that mean?"

Frank took a deep breath. "I asked Jamie to consider what if our family business was bar stools," he began to explain. "Pop started it, I took over for him, Erin does the books and distribution, and you go all over the five boroughs drumming up business."

"Okaaay," Danny acknowledged, still frowning in confusion. Erin frowned as well.

"Then I asked him where he was," Frank continued. He met Jamie's eyes when he said, "He said he was on the shop floor, making bar stools."

"Ah," Danny got it, understanding dawning on his face.

Erin's expression showed her understanding as well as she began, "Why...?"

"I asked if that's where he wanted to be," Frank interrupted.

All eyes shot towards Jamie, who shrugged, "Shouldn't there be someone from the family on the shop floor, involved in making the bar stools? I told Dad I'm happy where I am."

"But now you're rethinking that," Frank stated, watching Jamie intently.

"I… I don't know," Jamie admitted. "I was talking about it with a friend and they asked me some questions that got me thinking about it again."

"They must have asked a lot of questions to get you this distracted about it," Henry observed.

"No, just three," Jamie replied.

"Those must have been some really good questions," Erin said, her eyes narrowing at Jamie's frown.

Jamie just shrugged, looking down at the floor.

"So what were the questions?" Danny prodded, his detective's eyes easily seeing that his brother was nervous about the conversation. He also noted the lack of gender in Jamie's response, wondering if that was significant.

Jamie sighed and turned back towards the window. He hunched his shoulders a little. "Well, first my friend said that although I don't talk about Joe much, when I do, it usually has to do with advice he's given me." Jamie paused for a second. "So the question was what I thought Joe would think. Would he think that I was settling for what I knew I had, instead of taking the risk of reaching for something more?" Jamie sighed and hunched his shoulders again.

"And…?" Henry prodded this time.

"And I think he would think I was settling," Jamie admitted, disheartened. "He always said: be happy with what you've got, but be ready when the opportunity comes to reach for more."

No one spoke for a moment. Finally Danny asked, "So what was the second question?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "Whether I could continue to be happy keeping my mouth shut about the opportunities I saw to make improvements."

The rest of the family exchanged smirks, but no one verbally responded to Jamie's statement.

He rolled his eyes at the smirks before finishing with, "The third question was the hardest." He turned back to the window and stared outside for a long moment.

Danny opened his mouth to prod him along, but subsided without speaking when Frank shot him a sharp look. They waited another long, silent, moment more before Jamie was ready to continue.

"My friend asked if at least half of the excitement I felt at starting a new tour had to do with the fact that I would be spending it with Eddie," he admitted softly. The others were shocked when he continued with, "Because that's how it was for her."

Frank's shocked eyes met Henry's, Danny's, and Erin's briefly. He turned towards where Jamie stood, braced, waiting for their reaction to crash into him.

"Jamie, you know the rules," Frank used his sharp Commissioner tone.

"Yes, Commissioner, I know the rules," Jamie snapped back. "And none of them have been broken." Silence fell for a moment.

"Jamie, it's been a couple years since you came to me about this," Erin said softly. She ignored the three older Reagan's sharp glances. "If you still have those kinds of feelings about Eddie, why haven't you done anything about it?"

Jamie sighed, quite a bit of his belligerence fading. "If Eddie and I start a relationship," he said quietly, "it'll be a serious relationship."

"So?" Danny was quick to question.

"So my last serious relationship didn't end so well," Jamie admitted. He'd never discussed his breakup with Sydney with anyone other than his father, and he wasn't about to get into any more details than that.

"Son," Frank stepped behind Jamie and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You aren't the same person you were back then. And Eddie is not Sydney. She knows you – she knows the job…"

Jamie took a deep breath, and then swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat, before saying, "She thinks I should take the Sergeant's exam." He relished the strong support that radiated from the hand that still rested on his right shoulder. "She said that'd be a way I could stay close to the streets while still advancing my career."

"Eddie's a smart woman," Erin stated strongly. "It sounds to me like she's looking out for you."

Silence filled the room for a moment, before Frank summed up all their opinions by saying, "It's your decision, son." He squeezed Jamie's shoulder as he continued, "You know we'll support you whatever you decide."

Jamie took another deep breath and swung around to look at his family. "Thanks, guys."

Henry unmuted the television that he'd muted during half-time and the family settled back to watch the remainder of the game. Jamie was still a little distracted, but quickly got back into the rhythm of a Reagan family sporting event, laughing and teasing with the rest.

A/N: Please let me know what you think...