I didn't know if I was ready to write an EO thing, but I'll try. Excuse any typos. Please enjoy and leave reviews.
He's backing the trailer into the water while Kathleen and Lizzie are waiting on the dock. Dickie is in back of front of the car watching him back down the launch area.
"You're good, now just back straight in." Dickie says loudly
Soon enough he backs the boat is off the trailer while Elliot drives up the launch with the Jeep. Dickie waits in the boat, allowing the engine to idle enough to stay at the dock while waiting for his father to come back down.
"Hop on, we still have to wait for Maureen and Eric, plus they're driving Eli with them."
Kathleen carefully steps off the dock and places her feet on the boat as well as Lizzie. It took a while to finally convince their dad to go through with the idea of buying a boat for the lake. Elliot had finally gone through with buying a pontoon boat, basically a party boat that could fit about eleven people or so. He'd finally gotten enough money to actually go through with the idea, having had it in his mind for a while since he had moved to Northern California. It was a three hours drive from the city, but he'd taken the chance to finally be able to take the kids out to the lake.
"Look's like Maureen,Eric, and Eli are here, I can see em' coming down the launch."
The three make their way to the dock and hop in the boat.
"Hey, nice we could make it down here." Maureen says, pulling her sisters into a hug, and a punch in the arm for Dickie
"Hey Eli, come sit up from with us, I'll put sunscreen on your arms." Lizzie asks, seeing her little brother hop on the boat passing Dickie who sits in the drivers seat
"Maureen, let me see!" Kathleen says, pleading for Maureen to show her the ring that rests on her hand
Maureen approaches her and sits next to her, extending her left hand out.
"Wow, Eric you sure know how to please her." Kathleen comments
Eric has sandy brown hair, just enough to shag a bit, along with green eyes. Maureen had started dating him when she moved back to Jersey, and it was a solid three years until he popped the question.
He treads down the launch ramp, still as muscular as he was before he left the force. Maybe even more muscular with the workouts that came out of frustration and anger. Elliot looks at the six people piled into his boat, already sitting down while Kathleen takes a seat cushion off, revealing a cooler in a compartment. She hands Maureen, Eric, Lizzie, and Dickie a beer.
"Alright, let's get this started up, Dickie, move it."
Elliot starts the engine and begins to rear out of the dock area, gaining speed while passing trees that have been flooded. The kids come out to the city occasionally, and on a nice day, it's nice to get the boat out. He needed to find a hobby besides wallowing in his own depression after having left the force. Maureen had been dating Eric, Lizzie and Dickie were starting in college, and Kathleen was hunting for jobs. Eli switched custody between Kathy and Elliot half a year each. Elliot had considered it to be a long time away from one parent, but together they had come with a conclusion. Kathy still resided in Queens, having kept the house.
Elliot had left the force after having a young girl die in his arms, a young girl die in his arms because of him. He'd shot her, killed her. Right in front of his squad, he remember the silence of just him and Olivia making eye contact with each other, only to be shocked. Calls, texts, and emails were ignored from Olivia, only sinking farther into depression. Then his children had surprised him with a trip to San Francisco, trying to get him out of the house for once in the the last six months. It took him time to actually convince that he should go, and he eventually went, finding it as a new start to things, eventually convincing him self that he'd like to live there.
Kathy encouraged him to, even offering to pay some of it, just to get him to finally do something. Even though they had gotten the final divorce, she saw how little he interacted with his kids then, where he finally made the move and ended up moving out there, finding a place in the Noe Valley district, sure it was pricey for a house, but he had found a condo that was as much as his house back in New York. Kathy even helped out a bit, having felt a bit sorry for him, but eventually was back to her own independent self. They were still on friendly terms, but not as they once were.
The boat was something that was fairly recent, he liked feeling the wind in his face, having the warm wind dry him off as he got out of the boat. All together, the group talked amongst each other while Lizzie and Dickie secured life jackets on, helping Eli with his, and putting an orange flag up to signal boaters of people in the water. He turns on the radio to the boat, while Kathleen fools with it, finding a station that's good. It's a few hours on the lake also tubing, and then they dock the boat, and hook it up to trailer once again. While Elliot prepares the boat to the truck, the kids are talking amongst each other, except Eli who still stands in hand boat, watching his father dump water from compartments.
"Alright, think I'm done, you want to travel back with me or Maureen and Eric?"
The seven year old stares at his father blankly, and then answers.
"I can stay with Maureen and Eric, they wanted to take me to Fisherman's wharf."
"Okay." Elliot replies, hopping off the boat, and ruffling Eli's blonde hair.
"I think we'll start heading down to the wharf, otherwise it's going to get darker, thanks for inviting us out here Dad." Maureen says, while she holds Eli in her arms
Eric thanks him and he watches his older child walk away with her fiancé and brother. He smiles to himself while he hops into the driver's seat of the truck. The rest of his kids pile into the back, seeming eerily quite. He starts the car and lurches up the launch pad, and starts driver past cars that are parked with empty trailers.
"Dad, why'd you move out here?" Kathleen asks, who sits in the passenger seat, while Lizzie and Dickie sit in the back
"It's smaller, kind of a fresh start." He replies
"Do you like it?" Dickie asks
"Yeah, I do."
"You don't miss us?" Lizzie chimes in
"Course I do, it's just that you're growing up too, but at least I get to see you."
He misses her. The feeling of being a complete selfish bitch comes to his mind, having just left with no replies, and he doubts that she even knows he's on the other side of the country. Maybe she misses him too, who knows.
"You should come visit us, Maureen and Eric have a new house in Jersey, near the beach. They mentioned inviting you."
He wasn't sure if he was ready to come back to New York, the place he had left with so many memories, so many that some he wish he could keep, some he wish he could burn.
"Maybe-"
"Stop being full of shit Dad."
He swears he didn't just hear that word from Dickie. He was twenty one but he could cuss as much as he wanted as long as it wasn't in front of him.
He continues accelerating on the gas, but grips the wheel harder. Kathleen becomes uneasy in her seat.
"Watch your mouth Richard" Kathleen retorts telling him to cool it in a sibling sort of way
The kids know he hasn't been in contact with Olivia ever since the shooting, they were the ones to answer some of the phone calls, only being told to say he was busy or sleeping. Then he started to tell them to just ignore the calls, emails, and texts. The four put the boat back in storage and make it back to the city in two and a half hours, crossing the bay bridge, and finally finding a spot remotely close to Elliot's place.
"Want to come up?"
"No it's fine, we got to head back tomorrow, plus the car is in a time limit zone."
He forgot they rented a car all together, to get around San Francisco, either that or a bike.
"Okay, well thanks for coming into town, glad you could make it." He says, thanking them, wishing they could stay a bit longer
"Here." Kathleen says, handing Elliot an envelope
"What's-"
He doesn't finish his sentence when their car pulls away with them waving.
The way up to condo feels tiresome, but he makes it up there, and gets in the shower, not before dumping the envelope onto the kitchen counter. The couch is comfortable for three hours of sleep, but he wakes up, turning off the tv that brightens the living room. He sits at the counter with coffee in his hand. That's when he notices the unopened envelope. His hands rip open the seal, and he finds a boarding ticket that goes to New York. The plane leaves in a day.
God dammit.
She can't believe that she still has pictures of him in her apartment. It surprises her that she hasn't smashed them against the wall, yet it's only one picture. Memories were brought up when a suspect started to go all psyche on her while she was going one on one with the man. He started to question her when she started questioning his work life, wondering about his work partners who happen to be women. He questions her after he glances at her hand.
"I don't see a ring." He says
She ignores him and gets out of her chair, slamming it back into the table and circling the room while he stays where he's at.
"Do just be pretty lonely, seeing your squad go home to someone. Knowing that someone will be there."
"Shut up." She snaps
"You're sitting in that squad car, wondering if you'll ever have someone to take care of you."
She hates the guy for knowing her most inner want. Her want to have someone to actually take care of her, to have someone to look forward to seeing her day after day. Guys had come and go, but only one person had a connection to her, he'd show up at two am in the morning, just to make sure she was okay. Maybe she's bluffing, she just misses him. She shouldn't miss, he left her. Like hell, she should be angry.
It's been rough, but she doesn't want to think to much about it. It's a cycle she thinks.
It's a circle you see, you start off not believing that it's happening. You don't think that you can carry yourself much longer. No light. No hope. There's nothing but darkness and pain. You spend your days in a sort of shallow nightmare, flashbacks of him staring blankly at you, with your hands bloodied by crimson. Then phones start ringing on no and off. Nothing feels right. You can walk around, following as many routines as you like. You say the right things to the right people. You smile when your supposed to, laugh when they want you to. But it's not right. You don't belie bit. You don't believe that he just left without saying goodby. You go through life in a dark haze. The job is your only shield, your barrier. If you keep yourself closed up, no one can get to you. The emptiness is your armor.
Nothing can hurt you. Those who have holes in their skull, tears in their heart, doctors work to fix them, they give them the protection and don't let anything near them because they're so fragile. It's the same when you lose someone. Except your the doctor and patient. It's too much. It's too much for anyone to cope with. It becomes so overwhelming, so only just turn off.
But then, sometimes a light comes along to guide you out of the darkness. You were the light for me. You showed me the path to happiness. You reminded me how to smile again. Piece by piece, you helped me remove the armor that I put around my heart. I was taught to laugh with emotion for the first time in years. You showed me that some things are worth living for. You were my light and my hope. I learned to love, laugh you taught me how to live.
But it's like I said before, it's a circle. I started off empty, and then I'm empty again. Because I trusted you. You became my life. But as soon as that armor was out of the way, you stabbed me right through the damn heart. Now I'm broken. It's funny, people say when healed, a broken bone is stronger. But a shattered glass sculpture when glued back together is more fragile than ever. So is a heart. And I am broken.
Now once again there is no hope. There is no light. And I'll know next time, that when another light comes along to guide the way to a brief moment of happiness, I'll know to go in the other direction. I won't make that mistake again.
Leave reviews if you want, don't know if I'll continue but I hope you like it.